jap
Posts: 2196
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2005 7:25 am

In-laws...

Fri Nov 04, 2005 3:35 pm

My cousin called yesterday and talked to my mother about how much she hates her husband's family...

That made me realize.. I simply don't get that a lot of people detest their in-laws... Why is that? Is it something that you just HAVE to? Surely, your spouse must love his/her parents and you most likely love yours, and I just can't imagine that it wouldn't be a kick in the teeth to know that your spouse dislikes them.

I myself grew up in a family where the in-laws (my parents' parents that is.. apparently, this doesn't count for my cousin) were never hated or made fun of- my mom didn't mind visiting my dad's parents and my dad didn't mind visiting my mom's mother (my grandfather, her father, died before they even met).

Or am I just being stereotypical? Nobody really dislike their in-laws, it's just made to look that way in movies and such? It has to be said that I have met a LOT of people who hate/dislike (hate is such a strong word... however, that's the word they use) their in-laws and only a few who don't, so I'm not basing this on movies or fictional works.

What do YOU think of your in-laws?
If you dislike them, why do you feel that way?

Enlighten me, please.  crazy 
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usnseallt82
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Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2004 4:49 pm

RE: In-laws...

Fri Nov 04, 2005 4:09 pm

Quoting Jap (Thread starter):
Or am I just being stereotypical? Nobody really dislike their in-laws, it's just made to look that way in movies and such?

I think Hollywood loves to play on the tale of the in-laws from hell a little too much, so that might be a reason why many view them as such. I think is has more to do with the fact that there is ALWAYS some amount of judgment whenever you're around them. The thing that separates the bad ones from the good is the amount of judgment they place. They will always be wondering if you're good enough for their baby, or at least you always think that. So, its just this state of being very uncomfortable everytime you're around them......there's usually tension in the air, even when there's no reason for it to be there.

Quoting Jap (Thread starter):
What do YOU think of your in-laws?

I don't mind my in-laws at all....they're very nice people. But I hate letting my wife know how much I can tolerate them because as soon as she sees that I don't mind their presence, we end up being around them all the time. After a while, that tension eats at you and you just want to jump up and say 'why the fuck are you looking at me like that?' But, alas, you can't or at least shouldn't, so the understanding is that being around them is just more of a chore than it ever will be a pleasure.

After all, they're not YOUR parents......so their love, and bias, is going more towards one person.
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USAFHummer
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RE: In-laws...

Fri Nov 04, 2005 4:24 pm

With my parents, each thinks that the other's family is insane and crazy...it makes for some pretty funny arguments when someone in the extended family on one side does something stupid that we hear about...as the son, Im supposed to remain neutral, but I think theres definitely one side of my family that's more crazy than the other, so I try to stay out of such arguments when they happen...

Greg
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TNboy
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Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2002 8:12 pm

RE: In-laws...

Fri Nov 04, 2005 4:38 pm

There's always potential for problems. I don't especially like my in-laws, they are super-critical of everyone, and if they weren't relations, they wouldn't be the sort of people I would have as friends. I get on passably well with them, largely because they live on the opposite side of the continent and we rarely see them. My wife actually doesn't like them, and they continually ask her how she ever manages to hang on to me. I get on with them better than she does, but on a scale of 1-10, its about 2.
On the rare occasions my wife starts to irritate me I just say "You are becoming SO MUCH like your mother!" Generally works like a charm, unless she throws something at me.
Cheers
Bill
"...every aircraft is subtly different.."
 
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HAWK21M
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Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2001 10:05 pm

RE: In-laws...

Fri Nov 04, 2005 5:54 pm

Quoting Usnseallt82 (Reply 1):
After all, they're not YOUR parents......so their love, and bias, is going more towards one person.

As a Son-in-law.One gets a lot of Importance out here  Smile
But as mentioned above.Its bound to be a bit of Partiality involved from the inlaws towards the wife.Best part is the Kids get the Max Love & thats whats most Important.
regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
jafa39
Posts: 4320
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:14 pm

RE: In-laws...

Fri Nov 04, 2005 6:01 pm

I don't like mine, Mrs J doesn't like hers, both sets see their child's spouse as the enemy.

My in-laws think I married Mrs J for their money..ha ha!

Mrs J's in-laws think Mrs J is a work-shy flake..she is but I encourage her to be that way, why work when you can lunch??
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
flyingbabydoc
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Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2005 6:12 pm

RE: In-laws...

Fri Nov 04, 2005 8:49 pm

Quoting Jap (Thread starter):
What do YOU think of your in-laws?
If you dislike them, why do you feel that way?

I think my In-laws are some of the most terrific people I have ever met. Seriously, I get along with them much better than with my own parents. It is wonderful to be around them, I do enjoy the visits (shame they are not more frequent, because of the distance) and we have a great time together. My wife is their sole child, and they have "adopted" me as their son. We travelled together in France this summer and it was one of the best trips I have ever made. So sorry to be the one to disagree, but I think my in-laws are phantastic.

Besides, I dare anyone to cook better than my mother-in-law!  yummy 

Quoting Usnseallt82 (Reply 1):
After all, they're not YOUR parents......so their love, and bias, is going more towards one person


I disagree again. I think they are biased sometimes towards me! My wife gets very jealous of the great relationship between us. Particularly when she is talking to them on the phone and all they do is send me messages through her!!

I guess I can consider myself blessed - the wonderful wife and the greatest in-laws! (no gloating meant)

Cheers,

Alex
Marriage is the art of turning a lover into a relative

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