Lutenist
Topic Author
Posts: 280
Joined: Tue May 03, 2005 4:29 am

Favourite Limericks

Sun Nov 20, 2005 5:50 am

There once was a sailor named Bates
Who danced the fandango on skates
Till a fall on his cutlass
Rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates

Any others out there?
 
Nordair
Posts: 1080
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 1:36 am

RE: Favourite Limericks

Sun Nov 20, 2005 6:08 am

There once was a woman named Mabel
Who used to spread out on the table
And cry to her man
Stuff ALL that you can.
And get your damn balls in if you're able.
"It is never legitimate to use the words of scripture to promote a loveless agenda." - Right Rev. Dr. Peter Short
 
WrenchBender
Posts: 1662
Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2004 5:59 am

RE: Favourite Limericks

Sun Nov 20, 2005 8:08 am

There once was a fella named Dave
Who found a dead whore in a cave
It took him some pluck
To have a cold f*%$
But think of the money he saved
Silly Pilot, Tricks are for kids.......
 
ilikeyyc
Posts: 1326
Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2003 8:09 am

RE: Favourite Limericks

Sun Nov 20, 2005 9:08 am

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
If my ear was a cunt, I'd f*** it!
Fighting Absurdity with Absurdity!
 
WrenchBender
Posts: 1662
Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2004 5:59 am

RE: Favourite Limericks

Sun Nov 20, 2005 9:20 am

Ther once was a copper from Clapham Junction
Whose member it just wouldn't function
To save himself strife
He diddled his young wife
With some snot on the end of his truncheon
Silly Pilot, Tricks are for kids.......
 
Cadet985
Posts: 1958
Joined: Sat Mar 02, 2002 6:45 am

RE: Favourite Limericks

Sun Nov 20, 2005 9:37 am

Quoting Ilikeyyc (Reply 3):
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
If my ear was a cunt, I'd f*** it!

I was going to post the same one  bigthumbsup .
 
mrmeangenes
Posts: 555
Joined: Sun Nov 13, 2005 1:56 am

RE: Favourite Limericks

Sun Nov 20, 2005 10:00 am

A near-sighted lady named Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus:
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And the rest of Alice in Dallas.

Then we get a bit more "collegiate":

The sexual life of the camel
Is not what everyone thinks:
In a moment of amorous passion
He tried to make out with the Sphynx;

But the Sphynx's posterior passages
Are blocked by the sands of the Nile-
Whuch accounts for the hump on the camel-
And the Sphynx's inscrutable smile.
gene
 
Matt27
Posts: 2070
Joined: Fri Jul 04, 2003 9:53 pm

RE: Favourite Limericks

Sun Nov 20, 2005 10:25 am

Quoting Mrmeangenes (Reply 6):
A near-sighted lady named Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus:
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And the rest of Alice in Dallas.

 rotf 
Man ska inte dricka rödvin i en vit hall.
 
Tom in NO
Posts: 6725
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 1999 10:10 am

RE: Favourite Limericks

Sun Nov 20, 2005 11:02 am

There was a young man named McNair
Who was screwing his wife on the stair
On the thirty-fourth stroke
The bannister broke
So he finished her off in the air

Tom at MSY
"The criminal ineptitude makes you furious"-Bruce Springsteen, after seeing firsthand the damage from Hurricane Katrina
 
MHTMDW
Posts: 138
Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2004 10:17 am

RE: Favourite Limericks

Sun Nov 20, 2005 12:09 pm

There once was a many from Peru
Who fell asleep in a canoe
He dreamt he was on Venus
And played with his penis
And woke up with a handful of goo

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