tbar220
Posts: 6706
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2000 12:08 pm

Really Bad Christmas Jokes

Wed Dec 28, 2005 4:59 pm

- Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper? He sold his soul to Santa.

- One reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

- What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate clauses.

- What is Santa's helpers union called? The AF or elves.

- What does Santa like to do in his garden? He likes to ho ho ho.

Flame away, I know they're bad Big grin

(credit to Garrison Keiler)
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aislepathlight
Posts: 549
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2005 5:44 pm

RE: Really Bad Christmas Jokes

Wed Dec 28, 2005 5:59 pm

WOW, those are special. The Clauses has got to be the best.
WOW
bleepbloop
 
ANCFlyer
Posts: 21391
Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 3:51 pm

RE: Really Bad Christmas Jokes

Wed Dec 28, 2005 6:14 pm

Quoting Tbar220 (Thread starter):
Flame away, I know they're bad

Well, we completely agree at last  wink 
FOR THOSE THAT FOUGHT FOR IT, FREEDOM HAS A FLAVOR THE PROTECTED WILL NEVER KNOW OR UNDERSTAND
 
VH-KCT*
Posts: 435
Joined: Fri May 04, 2001 4:01 pm

RE: Really Bad Christmas Jokes

Wed Dec 28, 2005 8:22 pm

The family was decorating their christmas tree, when suddenly they ran out of decorations. "Let's get one christmassy thing each to decorate our tree!" they said, and off they went.

The father found a small angel for the top of the tree, the mother made some stars out of cardboard, the younger sister found some extra tinsel, and the older brother brought out some of his girlfriend's hot pink knickers. "What on earth are they?" yelled his rather upset and confused parents, to which he indignantly replied, "They're Carol's!"


Santa's running late, the presents are behind schedule and there are problems with the elf union again, so he's understandably a little tense. On Christmas Eve, there are still thousands of presents to make, and only a few hours left. Luckily an angel sees Santa is upset, so she brings him a large and brushy christmas tree to cheer him up. "Here you are, Nick" she says, "where can I stick this lovely tree?"

And there started the tradition of an angel atop the christmas tree.
I am The Stig
 
cfalk
Posts: 10221
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2000 6:38 pm

RE: Really Bad Christmas Jokes

Wed Dec 28, 2005 8:27 pm

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 3):
Nick" she says, "where can I stick this lovely tree?"

And there started the tradition of an angel atop the christmas tree.

Ooooohh! You're goin' to hell for that one Big grin Big grin Big grin
The only thing you should feel when shooting a terrorist: Recoil.
 
tbar220
Posts: 6706
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2000 12:08 pm

RE: Really Bad Christmas Jokes

Thu Dec 29, 2005 8:27 am

Quoting VH-KCT* (Reply 3):
And there started the tradition of an angel atop the christmas tree.

LOL, excellent Big grin

If you've ever been on an ELAL flight, you'll understand the next one...

***

El Al Flight - mid December - landing in Tel-Aviv... As the El Al plane settled down at Ben Gurion airport, the voice of the captain came on: "Please remain seated with your seat belts fastened until this plane is at a complete standstill and the seat belt signs have been turned off. We also wish to remind you that using cell phones on board this aircraft is strictly prohibited. To those of you who are seated, we wish a Merry Christmas and hope that you enjoy your stay, and to those of you standing in the aisles and talking on your cell phones, we wish you a Happy Chanukah and welcome back home."
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