ME AVN FAN
Topic Author
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100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 12:51 am

Gkirk may be, whenever he returns, in need of some productive pieces of advice. To make a start with some points :
-
1) he should be less exciteable
2) he should be less aggressive
3) he should be more tolerant
4) he should be more polite
5) he should be less grumpy
6) he should try to be more open-minded
-
to be continued by whomever !  yes 
-
 smile 
 
Klaus
Posts: 20622
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:15 am

7) He should try to switch from silly insults to slightly less crude means of self-expression.

It's sad and slightly annoying that he always shoots himself out five minutes after he's been let in again. It's so unnecessary. His insults aren't even funny, original or remotely relevant.
 
RichardPrice
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:16 am

Quoting Klaus (Reply 1):
t's sad and slightly annoying that he always shoots himself out five minutes after he's been let in again

Story of his life. I feel sorry for his missus.


 Smile
 
ORFflyer
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:18 am

8) Stop posting when drinking.  Big grin
 
EGGD
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:22 am

9)He should be more English

 Big grin
 
skidmarks
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Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 7:51 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:34 am

Quoting RichardPrice (Reply 2):
Story of his life. I feel sorry for his missus

10) He should get married then he would either a) Calm down or b) have something to moan about Big grin

Andy  old 
Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
 
7LBAC111
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:34 am

10) If not More 'British' then much less Scottish.
Debate is what you put on de hook when you want to catch de fish.
 
KyleLosAngeles
Posts: 206
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:37 am

11)


Happy 2006
 
gordonsmall
Posts: 2106
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 1:43 am

Quoting ORFflyer (Reply 3):
8) Stop posting when drinking.

Or maybe stop drinking altogether!  Smile

Sorry Kirkie, you know I'm not serious, but the lightweights on the board might actually agree with me for once .....  Silly
Statistically, people who have had the most birthdays tend to live the longest.
 
ME AVN FAN
Topic Author
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 2:16 am

ok, all combined up to now, it reads :
-






Pieces of advice for � Gkirk �
#########################

1) He should be less exciteable
2) He should be less aggressive
3) He should be more tolerant
4) He should be more polite
5) He should be less grumpy
6) He should try to be more open-minded
7) He should try to switch from silly insults to
slightly less crude means of self-expression.
8) He should stop posting when drinking.
9) He should be more English
10) He should get married then he would either
a) Calm down or
b) have something to moan about
11) He, if not more 'British', should be much less Scottish.
12) He should stop shooting himself out 5 min. after having been let in again
 
LHMark
Posts: 7048
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 2:58 am

He should use the "Lynx" text-only browser. Images = bad.
"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
 
NoUFO
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 2:59 am

Quoting CFCUQ (Reply 10):
What has the sheep shagger done now to earn another ban ?

I believe he called somebody "sheep shagger".  Wink
I support the right to arm bears
 
ltbewr
Posts: 12426
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 3:05 am

13) He needs to have a legitment full time job or going to University or some trade training (maybe in beermaking or pub management)
14) He needs to mature. Look, I am 51 and when I was younger (and sometimes still) said some really dumb things. Time helps.
 
ME AVN FAN
Topic Author
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 3:08 am

Quoting CFCUQ (Reply 10):
What has the sheep shagger done now to earn another ban ?

I do NOT know, and was rather surprised. Suppose he again went to far somewhere somehow !
 
cfcuq
Posts: 699
Joined: Wed Sep 07, 2005 1:55 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 3:15 am

Quoting NoUFO (Reply 12):
I believe he called somebody "sheep shagger".

Har ! I guess it would be the same thing, huh ? Big grin  Big grin  Big grin
 
srbmod
Posts: 15446
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 6:14 am

15. Move the heck away from Scotland. Perhaps the climate up there is part of his problem. Maybe he can find a job tending bar in the Balearics.....
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 6:43 am

Quoting Srbmod (Reply 16):
Maybe he can find a job tending bar in the Balearics.....

I doubt he can even find the Balearics...
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
bill142
Posts: 7853
Joined: Wed Aug 04, 2004 1:50 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 6:46 am

Quoting RichardPrice (Reply 2):
Story of his life. I feel sorry for his missus.

He has a girlfriend??? oh poor her.

16) Take himself out of the gene pool.
 
Pe@rson
Posts: 16015
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 6:46 am

16) Bow down to the superiority of English people
17) State categorically that Scotland is totally inferior to Scotland
18) Burn a Scottish flag
19) Kill a loyal Scottsman
20) Tell everyone how bad Scotland is
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
ME AVN FAN
Topic Author
Posts: 12970
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 6:49 am

ok, here the update :
-
Pieces of advise for “ Gkirk “
#########################

1) He should be less exciteable
2) He should be less aggressive
3) He should be more tolerant
4) He should be more polite
5) He should be less grumpy
6) He should try to be more open-minded
7) He should try to switch from silly insults to slightly less crude means of self-expression.
8) He should stop posting when drinking.
9) He should be more English
10) He should get married then he would either a) Calm down or b) have something to moan about
11) If not More 'British' then He should be much less Scottish.
12) He should stop shooting himself out 5 minutes after having been let in again
13) He needs a full time job or should go to University or some trade training (maybe in beermaking or pub management)
14) He needs to mature.
 
flyAUA
Posts: 4287
Joined: Wed May 25, 2005 3:12 am

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 6:52 am

23) He needs to stop hijacking threads with his senseless posts  

Edit: for number 23)

[Edited 2005-12-29 23:00:49]
Not drinking, also isn't a solution!
 
Pe@rson
Posts: 16015
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2001 6:29 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 6:56 am

1) He should be less exciteable
2) He should be less aggressive
3) He should be more tolerant
4) He should be more polite
5) He should be less grumpy
6) He should try to be more open-minded
7) He should try to switch from silly insults to slightly less crude means of self-expression.
8) He should stop posting when drinking.
9) He should be more English
10) He should get married then he would either a) Calm down or b) have something to moan about
11) If not More 'British' then He should be much less Scottish.
12) He should stop shooting himself out 5 minutes after having been let in again
13) He needs a full time job or should go to University or some trade training (maybe in beermaking or pub management)
14) He needs to mature.
15. Move the heck away from Scotland. Perhaps the climate up there is part of his problem. Maybe he can find a job tending bar in the Balearics.....
16) Take himself out of the gene pool.
17) Bow down to the superiority of English people
18) State categorically that Scotland is totally inferior to Scotland
19) Burn a Scottish flag
20) Kill a loyal Scottsman
21) Tell everyone how bad Scotland is
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
9VSPO
Posts: 4187
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 6:59 am

You know what? I don't even know Kirkie and I find myself sticking up for the guy! Some of these posts are awful. Long live Kirkie! I hope to see some more of his humerous posts soon!  Wink

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves!
 
Sabena332
Posts: 14938
Joined: Wed May 09, 2001 3:57 am

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 6:59 am

22) He should start smoking weed, that will make him cool down.

Patrick
NZ1's mother is a disgusting crack-whore and his father is a worthless alcoholic!
 
srbmod
Posts: 15446
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 1:32 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 7:03 am

Quoting Banco (Reply 17):

I doubt he can even find the Balearics...

 rotfl 

I bet he couldn't spell cat if you spotted him the c and the t.......
 
ME AVN FAN
Topic Author
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 7:12 am

Quoting 9VSPO (Reply 23):
I hope to see some more of his humerous posts soon!

most people here hope to see him back soon ! but his behaviours are subject to improvement. Here now an updated compilation of recommendations to him :
-

Pieces of advise for “ Gkirk “
#########################

1) He should be less exciteable
2) He should be less aggressive
3) He should be more tolerant
4) He should be more polite
5) He should be less grumpy
6) He should try to be more open-minded
7) He should try to switch from silly insults to slightly less crude means of self-expression.
8) He should stop posting when drinking.
9) He should be more English
10) He should get married then he would either a) Calm down or b) have something to moan about
11) If not More 'British' then He should be much less Scottish.
12) He should stop shooting himself out 5 minutes after having been let in again
13) He needs a full time job or should go to University or some trade training (maybe in beermaking or pub management)
14) He needs to mature.
15. He should move the heck away from Scotland. Perhaps the climate up there is part of his problem. Maybe he can find a job tending bar in the Balearics.....
16) He should stop hijacking threads with senseless posts

-
-----
 
Pe@rson
Posts: 16015
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2001 6:29 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 7:17 am

My few hints of advice are conspiciously missing.
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
9VSPO
Posts: 4187
Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 9:03 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 7:19 am

Quoting ME AVN FAN (Reply 26):

ME AVN FAN , Shall we point out all your inadiquaces? Or are you perfect?  Wink
 
Pe@rson
Posts: 16015
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2001 6:29 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 7:21 am

Quoting 9VSPO (Reply 28):
Shall we point out all your inadiquaces? Or are you perfect?

Evidently you're not perfect, spelling-wise, judging by 'inadiquaces.'  Big grin
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
ME AVN FAN
Topic Author
Posts: 12970
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 8:46 am

Quoting Pe@rson (Reply 27):
missing.

too extreme !
 
Pe@rson
Posts: 16015
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2001 6:29 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 8:49 am

Quoting ME AVN FAN (Reply 30):
too extreme !

Nonsense! Mine are the only ones which are sufficiently worthwhile.
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
StevenUhl777
Posts: 3281
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2001 11:02 am

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 8:52 am

Marry a nice German girl who will keep him in line....  duck 
And the winner for best actress is....REESE WITHERSPOON for 'Walk the Line'!!!!!!!!
 
lesmainwaring
Posts: 522
Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2005 12:47 am

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 8:57 am

He should become gay. He might still be obnoxious, but at least he will be fabulous.
I want something under my wheels thats plenty long and mighty dry --- Vern Demarest
 
ME AVN FAN
Topic Author
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 9:29 am

Quoting Pe@rson (Reply 31):
the only ones which are sufficiently worthwhile

well, you ask for his unconditional surrender ............................
 
ME AVN FAN
Topic Author
Posts: 12970
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 9:31 am

another update :
-
Pieces of advise for “ Gkirk “
#########################

1) He should be less exciteable
2) He should be less aggressive
3) He should be more tolerant
4) He should be more polite
5) He should be less grumpy
6) He should try to be more open-minded
7) He should try to switch from silly insults to slightly less crude means of self-expression.
8) He should stop posting when drinking.
9) He should be more English
10) He should get married then he would either a) Calm down or b) have something to moan about
11) If not More 'British' then He should be much less Scottish.
12) He should stop shooting himself out 5 minutes after having been let in again
13) He needs a full time job or should go to University or some trade training (maybe in beermaking or pub management)
14) He needs to mature.
15. He should move the heck away from Scotland. Perhaps the climate up there is part of his problem. Maybe he can find a job tending bar in the Balearics.....
16) He should stop hijacking threads with senseless posts
17) He should marry a nice German girl who will keep him in line....
 
Pe@rson
Posts: 16015
Joined: Sat Jan 13, 2001 6:29 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 9:40 am

Quoting ME AVN FAN (Reply 34):
well, you ask for his unconditional surrender ............................

And what's wrong with that? He is Scottish. He is inferior to the English. He must therefore surrender - it is his duty. He must lay down his weapons - which, considering Scotland is far less developed than England, will be bows-and-arrows - and surrender. If he does not, he will be shot. Well, he will be shot anyway, but we cannot risk hurting one of our special Englishmen. Not like those Scottish peasants. He will be surrender or die.  

[Edited 2005-12-30 01:42:36]
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
Klaus
Posts: 20622
Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2001 7:41 am

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 10:24 am

Come on - that is cheap while he's away. Think of his blood pressure, will you? Big grin
 
AsstChiefMark
Posts: 10465
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2004 2:14 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 11:08 am

Stop walking through the tall heather whilst wearing a kilt.

Too much testicle tickle. It's way too distracting.

Mark
Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Damned MSP...Red tail...Red tail
 
ME AVN FAN
Topic Author
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RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 11:25 am

Quoting Pe@rson (Reply 35):
He is Scottish. He is inferior to the English. He must therefore surrender - it is his duty.

whatever, I favour FAIRNESS

Quoting Pe@rson (Reply 35):
He will be surrender or die.

and plead for mercy in his favour !
 
Nordair
Posts: 1080
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 1:36 am

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 12:28 pm

He should realize that suicide isn't such a bad thing.
"It is never legitimate to use the words of scripture to promote a loveless agenda." - Right Rev. Dr. Peter Short
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 8:18 pm

Quoting Klaus (Reply 36):
Come on - that is cheap while he's away.

Dunno about cheap, but it's a lot less fun when he can't reply. I usually end up getting emails from him along the lines of "Wheesht, pou ya heid, ya basta" Big grin
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
Andreas
Posts: 5880
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 7:56 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 8:29 pm

Quoting RichardPrice (Reply 2):
I feel sorry for his missus

Yes, poor animal.... cry 

Quoting NoUFO (Reply 11):
I believe he called somebody "sheep shagger

OUTRAGEOUS!!!!!! Ban him for life...what a jerk!!

Quoting Banco (Reply 16):
I doubt he can even find the Balearics...

I doubt he could take the fact that by 9am all stools at the bars would be covered with English towels PLUS the German ones on the sunbeds...

Quoting StevenUhl777 (Reply 31):
Marry a nice German girl who will keep him in line....

Sorry, forbidden under German law...only the Brits are allowed to marry animals...see other thread!  Wink

Kirkie, I told you yesterday...why don't you just listen ONCE?!
I know it's only VfB but I like it!
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:05 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 8:30 pm

18.) a white and blue scrawl on his cave wall does not make for a flag  Wink

Quoting Banco (Reply 40):
I usually end up getting emails from him along the lines of "Wheesht, pou ya heid, ya basta"

its like getting a meaningless foreign spam message isn't it Big grin
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 8:33 pm

Quoting Cornish (Reply 42):
its like getting a meaningless foreign spam message isn't it

Indeed. I tried to reply to him once and inadvertently ordered a year's supply of some drug I'd never heard of.  Wink
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:05 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 8:53 pm

Quoting Banco (Reply 43):
Indeed. I tried to reply to him once and inadvertently ordered a year's supply of some drug I'd never heard of.

Ahem - not one that began with V and ended in A was it old man ?  Wink
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
Andreas
Posts: 5880
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2001 7:56 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 8:57 pm

Quoting Cornish (Reply 44):
not one that began with V and ended in A was it old man

Cornish...one he had never heard of!!!! Christ, can't you read?  Wink
I know it's only VfB but I like it!
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 9:04 pm

Quoting Cornish (Reply 44):
Ahem - not one that began with V and ended in A was it old man ?

 snooty 
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
RODOL
Posts: 315
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 8:45 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 9:36 pm

19. He should support a team that wins occasionally. biggrin 


 
BlackandWhite
Posts: 109
Joined: Tue Aug 12, 2003 6:35 am

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 10:33 pm

A quote from History for Pe@rson and his remarks in reply 35

" As long as but a hundred of us remain alive, never will we on any conditions be brought under english rule.
It is in truth not for glory, nor riches , nor honours that we are fighting,
But for freedom and for that alone , which no honest man gives up but
with life itself "

Declaration of Arbroath 6 April 1320
 
Banco
Posts: 14343
Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2001 11:56 pm

RE: 100 Hints Of Advice For Gkirk

Fri Dec 30, 2005 10:37 pm

Quoting BlackandWhite (Reply 48):
Declaration of Arbroath 6 April 1320

A fine quote. Merely six years after the last time Scotland managed to beat England at anything. Big grin
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.

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