BR076
Topic Author
Posts: 1032
Joined: Mon May 02, 2005 4:10 am

Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 5:46 am

Not really, but he was a dopehead

Quote:
Jesus w as almost certainly a cannabis user and an early proponent of the medicinal properties of the drug, according to a study of scriptural texts published this month. The study suggests that Jesus and his disciples used the drug to carry out miraculous healings.

FULL ARTICLE

[Edited 2006-01-05 21:46:31]

[Edited 2006-01-05 21:50:56]

[Edited 2006-01-05 21:52:39]
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jafa39
Posts: 4320
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:14 pm

RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 5:48 am

I thought he was Indian as he lived with his folks until he was 30 and went into the family business.... Wink


BTW A Indian bloke told me this!
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
jamesbuk
Posts: 3712
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RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 5:54 am

wow thats quite amazing

that means millions of people worship some druggie and somewhat a drug dealer

(no offense intended in this and if it is sorry as everyone nos religion is a weird subject to talk bout these days due to all the crap the government puts out to us about what we can and cant do)
You cant have your cake and eat it... What the hells the point in having it then!!!
 
Logan22L
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RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 6:03 am

Now we know why Ralph Reed is so short.
"The deeper you go, the higher you fly. The higher you fly, the deeper you go."
 
Newark777
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RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 6:06 am

Quoting Jamesbuk (Reply 2):
is a weird subject to talk bout these days due to all the crap the government puts out to us about what we can and cant do

Now what the hell are you talking about?  Confused

Harry
Why grab a Heine when you can grab a Busch?
 
Confuscius
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RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 6:37 am

"Jesus w as almost certainly a cannabis user..."


This guy must be Jesus...

Ain't I a stinker?
 
JRadier
Posts: 3946
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2004 11:36 pm

RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 6:41 am

from a foreign point of view, jesus was most likely a dutch guy (as we are all stoned 24/7 according to popular belief  Wink ). From a dutch pov jesus was most likely a foreigner visiting the netherlands  Wink.
 
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Braybuddy
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RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 8:36 am

No, no. Jesus was IRISH!

1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He lived at home until he was 33
4. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was convinced he was God
 
TACAA320
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RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 8:48 am

Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 7):
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He lived at home until he was 33
4. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was convinced he was God

He never had kids, nor brothers or sisters.
María Magdalena was not one of His apostle [but she's a Saint right now].
And the Da Vinci Code is pure fiction.
'Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind'. Albert Einstein
 
aviationmaster
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RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 9:33 am

Aha! So that's what allowed him to walk on water...  Wink
 
mauriceb
Posts: 2150
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RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 9:51 am

i always knew i had a lot in commen with jesus :P
 
Mir
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Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 3:55 am

RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 10:26 am

Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 7):
No, no. Jesus was IRISH!

1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He lived at home until he was 33
4. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was convinced he was God

5. His father was a carpenter.

Quoting BR076 (Thread starter):
Jesus w as almost certainly a cannabis user and an early proponent of the medicinal properties of the drug, according to a study of scriptural texts published this month. The study suggests that Jesus and his disciples used the drug to carry out miraculous healings.

Now I want to see Pat Robertson call for the legalization of cannabis. That would be fun.

-Mir
7 billion, one nation, imagination...it's a beautiful day
 
Pe@rson
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RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 10:29 am

LMAO! This is a truly great thread.  Big grin Keep it up.
"Everyone writing for the Telegraph knows that the way to grab eyeballs is with Ryanair and/or sex."
 
MDorBust
Posts: 4914
Joined: Fri Sep 30, 2005 10:10 pm

RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 10:33 am

Quoting Mir (Reply 11):
Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 7):
No, no. Jesus was IRISH!

1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He lived at home until he was 33
4. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was convinced he was God

5. His father was a carpenter.

6. The last thing he did was go drinking with his buddies.
"I KICKED BURNING TERRORIST SO HARD IN BALLS THAT I TORE A TENDON" - Alex McIlveen
 
Cadet57
Posts: 7169
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RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 10:58 am

Quoting MDorBust (Reply 13):
Quoting Mir (Reply 11):
Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 7):
No, no. Jesus was IRISH!

1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He lived at home until he was 33
4. He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother was convinced he was God

5. His father was a carpenter.

Naaa, that makes him Jewish. Atleast, Robin Williams says so...
Doors open, right hand side, next stop is Springfield.
 
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HAWK21M
Posts: 30014
Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2001 10:05 pm

RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 2:04 pm

Wasn't he born in Bethleham.
regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
TACAA320
Posts: 7153
Joined: Fri Aug 06, 2004 3:03 am

RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 10:40 pm

Quoting HAWK21M (Reply 15):
Wasn't he born in Bethleham.

He was.
'Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind'. Albert Einstein
 
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HAWK21M
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RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Fri Jan 06, 2006 11:18 pm


regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
Mir
Posts: 19383
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 3:55 am

RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Sat Jan 07, 2006 12:26 am

Quoting Cadet57 (Reply 14):
Naaa, that makes him Jewish. Atleast, Robin Williams says so...

If we accept #4 to be true, then there is no way he could have been Jewish, since we know he never graduated from medical or law school, and that's the only way a Jewish mother would think her son is God.  Smile

-Mir
7 billion, one nation, imagination...it's a beautiful day
 
sudden
Posts: 3936
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2001 5:20 pm

RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Sat Jan 07, 2006 12:51 am

Quoting Confuscius (Reply 5):
This guy must be Jesus...

No, that guy must be Dutch!

Aim for the sky!
Sudden
When in doubt, flat out!
 
jamesbuk
Posts: 3712
Joined: Mon May 02, 2005 11:52 pm

RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Sat Jan 07, 2006 3:56 am

Quoting Newark777 (Reply 4):
Now what the hell are you talking about?

you know what i really dont know for the last couple of days ive been in a real weird mood which has made me write really weird things
You cant have your cake and eat it... What the hells the point in having it then!!!
 
Tom in NO
Posts: 6725
Joined: Thu Nov 11, 1999 10:10 am

RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Sat Jan 07, 2006 4:31 am

Quoting BR076 (Thread starter):
Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Right.....Jesus and also Bart's grandmother (hint: see "Blazing Saddles").

Tom at MSY
"The criminal ineptitude makes you furious"-Bruce Springsteen, after seeing firsthand the damage from Hurricane Katrina
 
Newark777
Posts: 8284
Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2004 6:23 am

RE: Jesus Was Almost Certain Dutch

Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:06 am

Quoting Jamesbuk (Reply 20):

you know what i really dont know for the last couple of days ive been in a real weird mood which has made me write really weird things

Haha, happens to the best of us.

Harry
Why grab a Heine when you can grab a Busch?

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