jafa39
Posts: 4320
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:14 pm

Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:28 am

Tired of being deleted for being off-topic? Fed up with having to stay focussed and relevant?

Welcome to "Jafa's Speakeasy", the only thread on a.net where going off at a tangent is actively encouraged, come inside and ramble on freely but remember boys and girls, staying on topic won't earn you any brownie points!!!

So, to start you all off, here's a topic you're bound not to want to stay on for too long:

What would you rather fly in, an Airbus Piloted by G W Bush, a Boeing Piloted by Osama Bin Laden, an Embraer Piloted by Tony Blair or an Antonov with a Gay Pilot?

Let the slip the lateral thinkers!!!!!
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
ScarletHarlot
Posts: 4251
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2003 12:15 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:31 am

I want a margarita. Mmmmmmargarita!
But that was when I ruled the world
 
skidmarks
Posts: 6614
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 7:51 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:32 am

Oh dear, such a choice. Bush is senile, so he's out. Bin Laden is a nutter, so thats him off the list, Blair - wanker, thats a no. Has to be the Antonov with the poof! Big grin

Andy  old 
Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:38 am

Jafa39 : you can go off topic if you want
crowd ( in unison ) : we can go off topic if we want
Jafa39 : you can think for yourselves
crowd (in unison) : we can think for ourselves
Jafa39 : you are all individuals
crowd ( in unison ) :we are all individuals
Kiwiandrew : I'm not
 
ScarletHarlot
Posts: 4251
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2003 12:15 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:40 am

Hey Kiwiandrew, wanna li'l drinkie?
But that was when I ruled the world
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:41 am

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 4):
Hey Kiwiandrew, wanna li'l drinkie?

always! are you buying ?
 
skidmarks
Posts: 6614
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 7:51 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:43 am

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 4):
Hey Kiwiandrew, wanna li'l drinkie?

What a wanton woman!!!!!!!!!!!! Never offered me one  Sad

Andy  old 
Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
 
ScarletHarlot
Posts: 4251
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2003 12:15 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:44 am

It's Jafa's speakeasy, so I think he provides the alcohol. Right, Andy old pulse?  Wink
But that was when I ruled the world
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:45 am

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 6):
What a wanton woman!!!!!!!!!!!! Never offered me one

never offered you a drink ? or a wanton woman? ( or either?)
 
searpqx
Posts: 4173
Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2000 10:36 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:46 am

The Antonov, but only if Scarlet is serving
"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:48 am

so once and for all time which is better A or B ?

personally I think B - because the Beriev A-40 Albatros is way cooler than anything that Antonov ever came up with
 
mhodgson
Posts: 4673
Joined: Mon Dec 30, 2002 8:47 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:48 am

Living for the weekend Big grin
No trees were harmed by this message. However, several million electrons were terribly inconvenienced
 
redngold
Posts: 6673
Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2000 12:26 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:49 am

As far as I know, none of those situations involve a *real* pilot except for the Antonov with the gay pilot (dig at GWB definitely implied) so I'd definitely choose the last option.

Besides, I'd fly on Seven3Seven's plane anytime...  Wink
Up, up and away!
 
skidmarks
Posts: 6614
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 7:51 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:50 am

Quoting Kiwiandrew (Reply 8):
never offered you a drink ? or a wanton woman? ( or either?)

Either lol Big grin

Andy  old 
Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:52 am

actually a 'wanton woman' would be a great name for a cocktail... I wonder what the ingredients would be
 
jafa39
Posts: 4320
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:14 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:53 am

Quoting Kiwiandrew (Reply 3):
Kiwiandrew : I'm not

Damn you Andrew, everyone else has fallen under my evil spell......

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 7):
Right, Andy old pulse?

I figured the Oilive Oil from the "Lube a Boob" thread has probably started to ferment by now, we could serve "Loobaritas".
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
SFOMEX
Posts: 1602
Joined: Sat Dec 04, 2004 8:55 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:55 am

Why is Gkirk such an obnoxious fella?
The only thing worst than the GOP is the Democratic Party, think about it!
 
searpqx
Posts: 4173
Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2000 10:36 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:58 am

Quoting Kiwiandrew (Reply 14):
I wonder what the ingredients would be

Sloe Gin?
"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
 
theCoz
Posts: 3933
Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2004 11:06 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 6:58 am

Hey Jafa39, what's like being that gay?
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:00 am

actually 'the wanton woman' would be a great name for a pub. ( shouts to other half ) "I'm just off to 'the wanton woman' for a quick one" ( imagines look of confusion on partners face as he tries to figure out whether I have suddenly turned straight )
 
ScarletHarlot
Posts: 4251
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2003 12:15 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:02 am

So have I become the bawdy bar wench of Jafa's speakeasy?

Get your drink orders in, boys, before I have too many margaritas and can't remember who ordered what!

And Skiddy...you just showed up! Now I'll offer you a drink. What are you having?
But that was when I ruled the world
 
jafa39
Posts: 4320
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:14 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:05 am

Quoting TheCoz (Reply 18):
Hey Jafa39, what's like being that gay?

I'm as gay as you are cool (Said the straight guy..ha ha!)

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 20):
So have I become the bawdy bar wench of Jafa's speakeasy?

We'll need a doorman, and possibly a chef, Logan22L...can you chuck a band together?
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:05 am

Thanks Scarlet , I'll have a Caiparinha to start .
 
theCoz
Posts: 3933
Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2004 11:06 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:06 am

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 21):
I'm as gay as you are cool (Said the straight guy..ha ha!)

 rotfl   banghead 
 
searpqx
Posts: 4173
Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2000 10:36 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:08 am

It's just barely past noon here - I'll start w/ a mimosa for now. Oh, and a bar menu please
"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
 
Logan22L
Posts: 4464
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2004 5:59 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:10 am

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 20):
So have I become the bawdy bar wench of Jafa's speakeasy?

Apparently. However, since it is something like 11:00 AM Saturday down in Jafa's neck of the woods, he'll be abstaining until noon or so (isn't that right, mate?). I'll have his until then. I'll start with three fingers of Laphroaig and see how it goes from there.
"The deeper you go, the higher you fly. The higher you fly, the deeper you go."
 
xORDLLAA
Posts: 99
Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 11:37 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:11 am

ALL OF KIWIS RULES !!!!!!!!!!!!
life is beautiful...
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:11 am

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 21):
can you chuck a band together?

anyone seen Jake and Elwood recently?
 
jafa39
Posts: 4320
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:14 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:13 am

Quoting SFOMEX (Reply 16):
Why is Gkirk such an obnoxious fella?

Its a Scottish version of polite and requires years of practice in sub-zero temperatures, plus a diet of deep-fried chocolate bars and pizza  Smile
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
BDKLEZ
Posts: 1687
Joined: Sun Jun 26, 2005 11:57 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:13 am

"The totalistic presumptions of philosophy are in themselves idealistically a theoretical pile of steaming dog poo!" - Anon (As quoted on the wall of our gym when I was at school.)
Trespassers will be shot; survivors will be shot again!
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:14 am

heeeeeeyyyyyy "the wonton woman" would be a great name for a chinese takeaway !
 
jafa39
Posts: 4320
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:14 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:14 am

Quoting Logan22L (Reply 25):
(isn't that right, mate?).

Ah, but its saturday and too windy for fishing, a man needs a hobby!
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:16 am

Quoting Logan22L (Reply 25):
However, since it is something like 11:00 AM Saturday down in Jafa's neck of the woods, he'll be abstaining until noon

unless he is still going from last night
 
Logan22L
Posts: 4464
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2004 5:59 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 7:16 am

On a completely appropriate off-topic note, BaylorAirBear is on-line. Not sure if he's still in Iraq or not.
"The deeper you go, the higher you fly. The higher you fly, the deeper you go."
 
theCoz
Posts: 3933
Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2004 11:06 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 9:05 am

Quoting Logan22L (Reply 33):
On a completely appropriate off-topic note, BaylorAirBear is on-line.



That could be new thread material.  bigthumbsup 
 
BA380
Posts: 1441
Joined: Mon May 17, 2004 9:59 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 9:09 am

excellent notion - let's go off-topic! right up my street...

At the risk of going off topic, I think it is scandalous that Bruce Forsysth was not given a Knighthood in the New Year's Honours...
cabin crew: doors to automatic and cross-check...
 
muddydwagon
Posts: 649
Joined: Mon Apr 25, 2005 10:38 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 9:18 am

Quoting Kiwiandrew (Reply 30):
heeeeeeyyyyyy "the wonton woman" would be a great name for a chinese takeaway !

Hey we got a chinese takeaway round here called the Poon Palace.

Cheers Peter
 
jafa39
Posts: 4320
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:14 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 9:40 am

Quoting BA380 (Reply 35):
Bruce Forsysth

And why would he? Or is it for services to comedy when he retired?
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
aerobalance
Posts: 4308
Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2000 8:35 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 9:42 am

A squid in the Nile is not as delighted as a shrimp in the gulf....
"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
 
BA380
Posts: 1441
Joined: Mon May 17, 2004 9:59 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 9:46 am

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 37):
And why would he? Or is it for services to comedy when he retired?

60 years at the top of light entertainment... that deserves a K - rather than the CBE he got.
cabin crew: doors to automatic and cross-check...
 
ScarletHarlot
Posts: 4251
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2003 12:15 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 9:49 am

All right, guys, here are your drinks. The service around here isn't the best, because you are served at my whim.

A caiparinha for KiwiAndrew...

A mimosa for Searqpx. As for the menu, I think they are still getting the kitchen up and running.

Laphroaig for Logan....

Some Patron Reposado for Jafa. And some for me. hic
But that was when I ruled the world
 
searpqx
Posts: 4173
Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2000 10:36 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 9:54 am

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 40):
I think they are still getting the kitchen up and running.

Chinese take out sounds good - how about sending Kiwi out for some?
"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
 
jafa39
Posts: 4320
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:14 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 9:57 am

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 40):
And some for me. hic

Hmmmm, I'll buy a bed for you to collapse on methinks!!! Or we can starch your clothes and put you on a skateboard, that'll keep you upright and speed up the drinks.

The menu must have pies......
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
Logan22L
Posts: 4464
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2004 5:59 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 10:03 am

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 42):
The menu must have pies......

Four of fish and finger-pie, methinks.
"The deeper you go, the higher you fly. The higher you fly, the deeper you go."
 
searpqx
Posts: 4173
Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2000 10:36 am

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 10:51 am

Quoting Logan22L (Reply 43):
Four of fish and finger-pie, methinks.

And here I thought this was a family joint . . . Big grin
"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
 
jafa39
Posts: 4320
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:14 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 11:18 am

Quoting Searpqx (Reply 44):
a family joint

Sabena332 sells them in the smoking room  Wink
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
kiwiinoz
Posts: 1999
Joined: Mon Oct 10, 2005 3:07 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 11:28 am

Quoting XORDLLAA (Reply 26):
ALL OF KIWIS RULES !!!!!!!!!!!!

You're onto something there.

Anyone watching the tennis?
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 3:19 pm

Quoting BA380 (Reply 39):
60 years at the top of light entertainment

60 years of telling the same 'jokes' merits an award ?
 
ScarletHarlot
Posts: 4251
Joined: Tue Jul 22, 2003 12:15 pm

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 3:31 pm

Hey boys, I'm back. Anybody need a drink?

Quoting Searpqx (Reply 41):
Chinese take out sounds good - how about sending Kiwi out for some?

Can somebody get me some Thai while they're out?

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 42):
Hmmmm, I'll buy a bed for you to collapse on methinks!!! Or we can starch your clothes and put you on a skateboard, that'll keep you upright and speed up the drinks.

Please don't starch my clothes, that'll make me itch. How about some rollerblades? A joke about you trying to get me into bed is just dying to be made, but since I know you're a gentleman (and I'm afraid of Mrs. Jafa), I won't go there.  Smile
But that was when I ruled the world
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Jafa's Speakeasy (Official Off-Topic Thread)

Sat Jan 21, 2006 4:14 pm

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 48):
Hey boys, I'm back. Anybody need a drink?

hmmm , it's 8:13 in the morning here in BRU .... so why not , it will help me blend in with the locals . I'll have a Mort Subite please

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: aerlingus747, JJJ and 10 guests