fspilot747
Posts: 3455
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 1999 2:58 am

Airlines To Scrap Seats In Order To Cut Costs.

Thu Feb 02, 2006 10:21 am

After following suit with Subsidiary American Eagle when they announced a $1.00 charge for a can of soda, American Airlines announced Thursday that they will be scrapping seats in favor of "Comfort pAAds (tm)."

Said CEO Gerard Arpey, "It's amazing how much these seats cost to install and maintain. The $0.0043 it costs to maintain each seat per day digs a real hole in our profits, or lack of. We go through a lot of Febreze, and that stuff isn't cheap!" Added Arpey, "Plus, it's not like the flying public cares. If they could save a buck, they'd hang on to the tail."

This has followed a series of cost cutting measures by several U.S. airlines. Since 2002, nearly all U.S. airlines have ceased food service. Some flights from the East Coast to the West Coast often surpass 6 hours. Ticket-agents have been replaced with computers, and cute, pretty flight attendants with crabby grandmothers.

When asked of future plans, Arpey suggested the possibility of getting rid of passengers altogether. "It would save a lot of weight."

United, Northwest, and Delta are expected to follow shortly.
 
ArmitageShanks
Posts: 3766
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2003 5:30 am

RE: Airlines To Scrap Seats In Order To Cut Costs.

Thu Feb 02, 2006 10:26 am

This atrocious attempt at humor makes me want to vomit.
 
fspilot747
Posts: 3455
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 1999 2:58 am

RE: Airlines To Scrap Seats In Order To Cut Costs.

Thu Feb 02, 2006 11:10 am

Aww well. I'm studying for 4 exams right now and I'm trying to amuse myself. I need a beer

 splat 
 
BigOrange
Posts: 2291
Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2004 2:20 am

RE: Airlines To Scrap Seats In Order To Cut Costs.

Fri Feb 03, 2006 4:54 am

Quoting ArmitageShanks (Reply 1):
This atrocious attempt at humor makes me want to vomit.

Aw come on, where's your sense of humor??

I thought it was pretty funny and started to believe it until I read about crabby grandmother's replacing flight attendants. Then I knew it was a joke, that happened years ago Big grin
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Airlines To Scrap Seats In Order To Cut Costs.

Fri Feb 03, 2006 5:03 am

Quoting ArmitageShanks (Reply 1):
This atrocious attempt at humor makes me want to vomit.

well I liked it ... .the only problem is that I am worried someone from an airline will read it and think "Now there's an idea !"
 
stuckinMAF
Posts: 1022
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 9:49 pm

RE: Airlines To Scrap Seats In Order To Cut Costs.

Fri Feb 03, 2006 5:10 am

Quoting FSPilot747 (Thread starter):

Source?  Silly
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity" -Sigmund Freud
 
erikwilliam
Posts: 2122
Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2004 12:30 am

RE: Airlines To Scrap Seats In Order To Cut Costs.

Fri Feb 03, 2006 5:13 am

you know man, can´t blame a man for trying, and you did, not sucessfully I must say but you did, and that deserves a reward.
Dida, Cafu, Lucio, Roque Junior, Roberto Carlo, Emerson, Ze Roberto, Ronaldinho, Kaka, Adriano, Robinho, Ronaldo
 
tbar220
Posts: 6706
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2000 12:08 pm

RE: Airlines To Scrap Seats In Order To Cut Costs.

Fri Feb 03, 2006 6:00 am

hehe, I like it.

filler filler filler
NO URLS in signature
 
Nordair
Posts: 1080
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 1:36 am

RE: Airlines To Scrap Seats In Order To Cut Costs.

Fri Feb 03, 2006 8:52 am

Quoting FSPilot747 (Thread starter):
it's not like the flying public cares. If they could save a buck, they'd hang on to the tail."

Regardless, isn't THAT the truth.  Smile
"It is never legitimate to use the words of scripture to promote a loveless agenda." - Right Rev. Dr. Peter Short

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