cfalk
Posts: 10221
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2000 6:38 pm

Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)

Sat Feb 18, 2006 3:02 am

It's all detailed in Texas law. Texas, in its wisdom, has the following statutes:


370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport (non-commercial) purposes.

370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.

370.03 Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for rabies, and vermin.

370.04 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed immediately to the nearest car wash.

370.05 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a powerboat, helicopter or aircraft.

370.06 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.

370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoon.

370.08 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs, hospitals or brothels.

370.09 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the same.

370.10 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, drugdealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

370.11 Bag and Possession Limits per day:
- Yellow-bellied sidewinders, 2;
- Two-faced tortfeasors, 1;
- Back-stabbing divorce litigators, 3;
- Horn-rimmed cut-throats, 2;
- Minutiae-advocating dirtbags, 4.
- Honest attorneys protected (Endangered Species Act).

(Got this off of an email. But I know Texas, and I am sure that some people are looking at this and going, "Hmmm, actually not a bad idea for a bill".) Big grin
The only thing you should feel when shooting a terrorist: Recoil.
 
ANCFlyer
Posts: 21391
Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 3:51 pm

RE: Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)

Sat Feb 18, 2006 3:05 am

Brilliant . . .


Of course, you have your Kevlar Flame Proof shorts on I'm sure!

  

Quoting Cfalk (Thread starter):
"FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.

Could have used this for politicians as well . . .

[Edited 2006-02-17 19:11:41]
FOR THOSE THAT FOUGHT FOR IT, FREEDOM HAS A FLAVOR THE PROTECTED WILL NEVER KNOW OR UNDERSTAND
 
texan
Posts: 4059
Joined: Tue Dec 23, 2003 2:23 am

RE: Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)

Sat Feb 18, 2006 3:06 am

 rotfl 

Great one! Did somebody say scotch?!?

Texan
"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library."
 
LHMark
Posts: 7048
Joined: Fri Jan 21, 2000 2:18 am

RE: Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)

Sat Feb 18, 2006 3:09 am

Quoting Cfalk (Thread starter):
370.06 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.

Awesome.
"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
 
texdravid
Posts: 1394
Joined: Fri May 14, 2004 3:21 pm

RE: Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)

Sat Feb 18, 2006 3:17 am

It's certainly funny, but somehow a young lawyer from D.C. won't think so.
Prepare to be flamed. Good luck, and keep it up.
Tort reform now. Throw lawyers in jail later.
 
stuckinMAF
Posts: 1022
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2005 9:49 pm

RE: Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)

Sat Feb 18, 2006 3:34 am

Quoting Cfalk (Thread starter):
But I know Texas, and I am sure that some people are looking at this and going, "Hmmm, actually not a bad idea for a bill".

On the phone with Kay Bailey Hutchison's office right now!

Hmm....wonder if I can go for paralegals too since I have an "super-combo" hunting and fishing license!

edited for spelling

[Edited 2006-02-17 19:37:50]
"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity" -Sigmund Freud
 
halls120
Posts: 8724
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2005 3:24 am

RE: Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)

Sat Feb 18, 2006 3:39 am

Quoting Cfalk (Thread starter):
- Honest attorneys protected (Endangered Species Act).

At least I'm safe!  biggrin 
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain, a Biography
 
TACAA320
Posts: 7153
Joined: Fri Aug 06, 2004 3:03 am

RE: Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)

Sat Feb 18, 2006 7:06 am

Don't find it funny at all.
'Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind'. Albert Einstein
 
User avatar
fxramper
Posts: 5837
Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2005 12:03 pm

RE: Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)

Sat Feb 18, 2006 7:24 am

I saw a bumper sticker today at AUS,

I'd rather hunt with Cheney, than ride with Kennedy!

cheers.

Drew
 
StevenUhl777
Posts: 3281
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2001 11:02 am

RE: Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)

Sat Feb 18, 2006 2:16 pm

Quoting Cfalk (Thread starter):
370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport (non-commercial) purposes.

Awwww...rodents, snakes, attorneys...what's the difference at the end of the day?!  biggrin 

Thanks for that... Wink

Quoting FXramper (Reply 8):
I'd rather hunt with Cheney, than ride with Kennedy!

That made my day, FXramper...I passed it along to those who would appreciate it, and to my Uncle who will be very pissed off about it!  biggrin 
And the winner for best actress is....REESE WITHERSPOON for 'Walk the Line'!!!!!!!!
 
cfalk
Posts: 10221
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2000 6:38 pm

RE: Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)

Sat Feb 18, 2006 2:54 pm

Quoting TACAA320 (Reply 7):
Don't find it funny at all.

Your post is pretty funny Big grin
The only thing you should feel when shooting a terrorist: Recoil.
 
StevenUhl777
Posts: 3281
Joined: Sun Jul 08, 2001 11:02 am

RE: Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)

Sat Feb 18, 2006 3:09 pm

Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 1):
Quoting Cfalk (Thread starter):
"FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.

Could have used this for politicians as well . . .

Hell, yeah...I got my first hot date since '69 coming up, too...

Signed,
Sen. Ted Kennedy,
D-MA
And the winner for best actress is....REESE WITHERSPOON for 'Walk the Line'!!!!!!!!
 
dl021
Posts: 10836
Joined: Fri May 21, 2004 12:04 pm

RE: Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)

Sun Feb 19, 2006 12:13 am

Good stuff.... In Georgia it's open season year 'round on lawyers, except for your own.....  Wink
Is my Pan Am ticket to the moon still good?
 
wardialer
Posts: 1139
Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2001 1:08 pm

RE: Cheney Did Nothing Illegal ;-)

Sun Feb 19, 2006 1:36 am

I just wished he shot himself instead...Esp. on 9/11/01....

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