Posts: 1329
Joined: Mon May 24, 2004 7:50 am

New English System

Mon Mar 13, 2006 11:23 am

Hey everyone, well, it has finally happened...

"The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag
is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finaly cum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in
ze forst plas."

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

I hop no vun taks ofens!

And right after we got a new spell checker...  Smile

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Posts: 4282
Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 7:01 am

RE: New English System

Mon Mar 13, 2006 11:42 am

I first read this in the early 90s. It gets posted here onA.net every few months. Thanks for sharing none the less.

Posts: 8065
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 7:11 am

RE: New English System

Mon Mar 13, 2006 11:44 am

Hmm, i've seen this before.

Anyway ta for posting  silly 

Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
Posts: 3516
Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2006 9:54 am

RE: New English System

Mon Mar 13, 2006 12:47 pm

That is so hard to read; its like me trying to read french, I can't understand whats coming out of my own mouth.
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