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Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Thu Mar 16, 2006 7:36 am

What are the plus / minus points?
 
jafa39
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Thu Mar 16, 2006 7:43 am

No shit from ANYBODY if you live on your own, you can fart, scratch, watch porn, daytime TV, be a slob, be ultra-tidy, stay out all night, in all day and do exactly as you please.

The downside is loneliness but i never suffered from it I always have appreciated time on my own to re-charge and recoup.

The only reason Mrs Jafa and i have managed 22 years together is because she is ultra-low maintenance and appreciates time on her own as much as i do.

The thought of having my parents living nearby or anyone else who might unterrupt our glorious selfishness gives us the heebies.
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
sunshine79
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Thu Mar 16, 2006 7:48 am

I will be living by myself in a couple of weeks time. I prefer it that way as I can do what I want, when I want. I love my own space, and don't like anyone crowding it. I don't have to answer to anyone and have to think or consider about anyone else.

Minus points would be it can get a bit lonely sometimes, but friends are only a phonecall away, and no-one to help do the chores or clean up after you.
Formerly alcregular, Why drive when you can fly?
 
jafa39
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:28 am

Quoting Sunshine79 (Reply 2):
no-one to help do the chores or clean up after you.

But less mess to start with eh?  Wink
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
kiwiinoz
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:32 am

After living alone for a year, (couple of years ago now), I recommend it as a critical thing to do for anyone, as part of their own self development.

You learn to be comfortable with your own company, and gain confidence in your independance. You know the saying, "You can't love someone else until you can love yourself". Well I've always loved myself because I am way cool, but I think time spent alone took the affair to the next level, and has had a hugely positive impact on my relationships now.
 
corey07850
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:36 am

After having a mess of a roommate Freshman year in College I've lived by myself in a 1 bedroom apartment ever since... I absolutely love it!

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 1):
No shit from ANYBODY if you live on your own, you can
fart, scratch, watch porn, daytime TV, be a slob, be ultra-tidy, stay out all night, in all day and do exactly as you please.

That pretty much sums it up. You get a feeling of self pride knowing you're on your own and you can do as you please.

The downside is that it's a lot more expensive than living with others. My rent is about 550 a month which isn't too bad, but then you add in the cost of utilities, cable, internet, food, etc it adds up to a lot.... I'd say I pay $1000 a month just for the basics for a 20-something college student....

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 1):

The downside is loneliness but i never suffered from it I always have appreciated time on my own to re-charge and recoup.

Again another good point... It took me 4 months until I picked up a pup to keep me company, and that has really done the trick.

If I had to do it all over again, there is no doubt I would do it again. It's a good experience and you really learn to be independent...
 
searpqx
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Thu Mar 16, 2006 9:22 am

No person should be considered an adult until they've spent AT LEAST a year (preferably three or more) completely on their own, in their own place, paying all their own bills with no close family w/in a 45 minute drive. It allows you to find out exactly who you are, what your likes/dislikes are and forces you to learn to be self-reliant. Only then can you really know how compatible you are with another person, or if you're one of those folks (like myself and apparently Mr. & Mrs. Jafa) that needs lots of personal space and alone time.

Oh, and you can wear/not wear whatever you damn well please around the house, eat cookies wherever you want, and if you want to leave the toothpast on the right-hand side of the sink, you can damn well do it w/o a single comment (um, that last little bit may have been me projecting -please disregard...  Embarrassment )
"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
 
Thom@s
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Thu Mar 16, 2006 8:24 pm

After moving out I've lived with a roomate for some time now. But as she is moving to the other end of the country, I'm getting an temporary appartment to myself. Should be nice in some ways I'd think.  Smile

Thom@s
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SmithAir747
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 12:57 am

I am now! In England of all places--far away from home in Fort Wayne, IN, USA! Until I moved over here in 2004, I was living at home with my family in Fort Wayne.

I'm now in my 2nd year as a student at King's College London (studying for a future career in craniofacial deformities research).

I live by myself in a single study bedroom (really small & cosy) in a student residence hall (International Hall) in London's Bloomsbury district. Meals are catered, but otherwise I'm basically on my own. I have good study habits and my room is very neatly organised and clean. Laundry facilities are provided, as are music practice rooms (where I can practice both my piano and violin in peace and quiet). There is also a bar/lounge area, but I avoid it due to the crowds and noise.

Being alone (since moving over here from the USA in 2004) has taught me a lot. I've learned to save money in as many ways as I can (since London can really rip you off if you're not careful); I avoid eating out (why eat out if you can eat meals in your residence hall which are covered in your hall fees?) unless I absolutely have to--and then I look for the CHEAPEST places to eat as possible--Subway is a godsend!

I don't have much of a social life, so there's no reason for me to go out to the pub/club/bar at all. I stay away from the crowded, expensive touristy spots (I've done them before!), and I find my own ways to see London--just by walking around and getting to know my way around very well. To save money on London commuting, I ride my bicycle every day between my hall and my campus (at Guy's Hospital campus, London Bridge); if I need to use London transport, I avoid the Tube and use buses (there are two direct buses to campus from my locale, more direct than any Tube route).

I find ways to have fun without spending a lot of money--on nice, clear days I'll go out and shoot planes at LHR. Otherwise, I'll walk around London, spend hours in bookstores on Charing Cross Road, explore Harrods once in a while just to see it (the prices really scare me though), sometimes browse vintage/retro markets and shops, etc. It takes a while, but I find ways to keep myself occupied on the days when I have no class (on Thursdays and weekends).

Otherwise, the rest of the week, I'm in lectures or in the dissection room cutting up some poor dead guy.

It took me a year and a half, but I finally found a church in London that felt like family and was friendly--the American Church in London, just 15 minutes' walk from my residence hall. My spiritual life is very important to me--one of my greatest legacies from my large Christian family that I don't want to lose now that I'm on my own for the time being.

I'm still continuously adapting to life in London (and probably will always have to keep adapting); London is a far cry from the small city of Fort Wayne, IN, USA, where I've grown up amongst lifelong family and friends. Here I'm slowly but steadily making a few friends at a time--mostly among my KCL classmates and professors and my church and in other places.

I'm really learning to be self-reliant and independent while I'm here in London, while making friends (at a slow pace) and being a bit wary of strangers (of which London is full). I enjoy lots of solitude, but I also enjoy having a close-knit, select circle of friends around me (church, university, etc).

If I had the opportunity and resources, and I knew I would be in London long-term (depending on where my future craniofacial research opportunities are), I would get my own "bachelor pad" (a nice small flat) in central London, preferably near Guy's Hospital campus, where I could have my own piano and could play my violin as well, have my own art studio/gallery (to be shown to select friends), my own kitchen (where I could prepare the LARGE portions of food I need to survive on due to my malnutrition and skeletal thinness), and my own facilities. It would have a second, guest bedroom for Mom if she wanted to come over from America to visit me (or another close relative or friend wants to visit) besides my main bedroom. My home would be done in a nice, simple retro 70s scheme (wood paneling, fondue set, etc). I might not even consider a car, since why would I need one here in London?

Being on my own has really helped me start thinking and planning for my future life and career.

SmithAir747
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made... (Psalm 139:14)
 
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yowza
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 1:05 am

Living alone = bliss. You make the rules, you set the time. It's amazing. I currently enjoy these freedoms and am even currently "working" from home. Amazing.


YOWza
 
mhodgson
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 1:06 am

Quoting SmithAir747 (Reply 8):
I would get my own "bachelor pad" (a nice small flat) in central London, preferably near Guy's Hospital campus, where I could have my own piano and could play my violin as well, have my own art studio/gallery (to be shown to select friends), my own kitchen (where I could prepare the LARGE portions of food I need to survive on due to my malnutrition and skeletal thinness), and my own facilities. It would have a second, guest bedroom for Mom if she wanted to come over from America to visit me (or another close relative or friend wants to visit) besides my main bedroom. My home would be done in a nice, simple retro 70s scheme (wood paneling, fondue set, etc). I might not even consider a car, since why would I need one here in London?

Good thing you're saving money - something like that in central London would probably set you back about £1,000,000 at least!
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skidmarks
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 1:10 am

Living on your own developes your domestic skills. After my first divorce I made myself cook and clean. Of course, my efforts weren't nearly good enough for my next wife, but hey, you can't be good at everything!  wink 

Now, I sometimes think that living on your own is the only way to get peace and quiet. But maybe I'm just an old cynic Big grin

Andy  old 
Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
 
mhodgson
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 1:13 am

I'm quite looking forwards to living on my own - I'm not sure I'd enjoy a house share as I'm the kind of person who ends up doing everything (at home, when my parents go away I end up clearing up my brothers mess for him) because I like things to be tidy - not exactly sterile, but so there is space to walk on the floor and I can find things I need. I also like my independence, and would probably enjoy it!
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A332
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 1:33 am

I've been out on my own for several years now... own my own house and what not... it's fabulous.

I do like having roomies though... but only people I know well.. it curbs the loneliness!
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aerobalance
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 1:51 am

It sucks. I'd rather be beaten by my wife.

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scott2187
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 1:51 am

i'll be moving into my own apartment this summer...i'm away from home right now, but i have a roomate. i just like the independance i have while i'm not living in the rents' house
“Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.”
 
ANCFlyer
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 2:02 am

Since I was 17 . . . .

Wouldn't have it any other way . . .

And I didn't just move down the street from Mommy . . . I was 2000 miles away. Really will tell the tale on whether you're a grown up or an overaged teenybopper.

I have been married - so I suppose that doesn't necessarily qualify as "living alone", but have been single more than married (took a while to figure out I'm not the 'get married, settle down' type).

I prefer the peace and quiet of living alone to any other lifestyle. Having experienced living alone, living with wifey, living with wifey and kid; there's no question - alone is the hot ticket for me. And to each their own.

That said: If you're still living at home, and not in college, and mooching off Mommy and Daddy, and over 18 years of age - you've got some 'splaining' to do. Grow up, get out, get a job.
FOR THOSE THAT FOUGHT FOR IT, FREEDOM HAS A FLAVOR THE PROTECTED WILL NEVER KNOW OR UNDERSTAND
 
AGM100
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 2:22 am

I moved out when I was 16 ,lived on my own for my junior and senior year of highschool. I had worked from the the time I was 13 and saved enough money to buy a car so that was all I needed!!. I moved in with an older roommate who worked , I worked after school and evenings and paid half the expenses.
I think it was good for me, taught me how to pay bills ,buy food , and take care of my business.

The down side is that I had to make some choices of how to live socially. My house started to become a after school hang out and this lead to some problems with parents. especially when sophomore girls were involved  cheerful 

I don't think either of my brothers could have done it, way too irresponsible. , they lived at home until 18.

One important part was that my parents were supportive of my decision. And would help out from time to time if necessary. The other downside is now that I am older I sometimes feel like I missed out on just being a goofy teenager. I feel like I have always been "grown up"  old 
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EGGD
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 2:23 am

Quoting SmithAir747 (Reply 8):
I live by myself in a single study bedroom (really small & cosy) in a student residence hall (International Hall) in London's Bloomsbury district. Meals are catered, but otherwise I'm basically on my own. I have good study habits and my room is very neatly organised and clean. Laundry facilities are provided, as are music practice rooms (where I can practice both my piano and violin in peace and quiet). There is also a bar/lounge area, but I avoid it due to the crowds and noise.

I wouldn't call living in a Halls Of Residence living on your own as you are in a corridor with hundreds of other people. Plus, your halls are catered, your bills are paid (or at least most of them, I know some halls you have to pay for phone/internet access) and usually your student loan covers your accomodation costs. If you had your own flat, or 'bachelor pad' as you called it, where you had to pay water, electricity, gas bills and buy your own food and cook for yourself, then you could say you are living by yourself.

I think there is a difference between living on your own and living away from your parents and some people aren't making that distinction.
 
pilotaydin
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 2:28 am

been living alone since 16, and im 25 now

well, here it is in a nutshell

alone: it's fun, free, but very dangerous on the soul, you can get bored and depressed quite fast, you can bring home anyone ya want  Wink but sometimes you have a shit day and there is no one to come home to and relax with....

all in all, it just depends on what you want
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andessmf
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 3:23 am

Quoting ANCFlyer (Reply 16):
That said: If you're still living at home, and not in college, and mooching off Mommy and Daddy, and over 18 years of age - you've got some 'splaining' to do. Grow up, get out, get a job.

Moved out at 18, bought first house at 22, married at 25, bought second house at 32. Yep, gotta move and be on your own to be able to grow up. BTW, bought my houses by myself, w/o mom or dads help.

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 11):
After my first divorce I made myself cook and clean.

Known my wife for 12 years, cooked for her less than 10 times since, maybe less. I do keep a pretty clean house, though!

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 11):

Now, I sometimes think that living on your own is the only way to get peace and quiet

Nah, you just put everybody in bed and stay way late reading, posting in forums, etc. until you feel you had enough time alone. The next morning you hit yourself in the head for having slept so little.
 
fspilot747
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 3:42 am

Quoting KiwiinOz (Reply 4):
After living alone for a year, (couple of years ago now), I recommend it as a critical thing to do for anyone, as part of their own self development.

Exactly. I lived alone for a year in University and I learned a lot about myself. I did get depressed, though, as it does become a bummer after a while. When I roomed with some buddies last year, it was definitely a lot of fun. The drunken BBQs and stuff..

In any case, try it for a little while, but try not to make a life out of it. You won't be happy if you're alone for too long, even if it means putting up with someone's else's bullshit.
 
greasespot
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 5:04 am

Living alone you can indulge your airplane porn addiction without feeling bad...  wink 

Since i got divorced in 1998 i haven ot lived with anyone.....Heck i even have friends who do not know where I live......

Privacy......privacy...privacy
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ABfemme
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RE: Have You Ever Lived On Your Own?

Fri Mar 17, 2006 8:54 am

Yeah I lived alone for many many years before I met Mr AB - Independence was the plus side, loneliness the other, but good grounding for survival - but now it feels nice to be living with someone - I used to lie in bed thinking what if something happened to me in the night - who would know ??
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