JAGflyer
Topic Author
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Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 6:12 am

Ned Flanders: I've got family here from all over the world.
José Flanders: Buenos ding-dong-diddly-dias, señor.
Ned Flanders: And this is Lord Thistlewick Flanders.
Lord Thistlewick Flanders: Charmed. [nudged by Ned] Uh, a-googly-doogly.
Ned Flanders: Ha ha. Terrific.
Support the beer and soda can industry, your recycle old airplanes!
 
YYZflyer
Posts: 3516
Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2006 9:54 am

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 6:47 am

Homer:Doh!!
Homer:Ahh crap.
Professor Frink: Hoimon glaven!( no idea haw to spell it )
Avoid hangovers, stay drunk.
 
dragon-wings
Posts: 3907
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2001 4:55 am

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 7:37 am

Bart (yelling to a baseball player): You throw like my sister, man!
Lisa (yelling to same baseball player Bart was): Yeah, you throw like me!

Bart to Homer: “No offence, Homer, but your half-assed underparenting was a whole lot funner than your half-assed overparenting.

Homer: There, there, Bart. If something's hard, then it's not worth doing.

Homer: "To alcohol! The cause of- and solution to- all of life's problems"

Homer: "You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."

Homer: Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat. It also gives me the right - no, the duty - to make a complete ass of myself!
Don't give up don't ever give up - Jim Valvano
 
dtwclipper
Posts: 6668
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2003 3:17 am

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 7:39 am

Homer: D'oh
Lisa: A deer
Marge: A female deer
Compare New York Air, the Airline that works for your Business
 
HBIHLtoEZE
Posts: 247
Joined: Tue Aug 17, 2004 10:50 pm

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 7:40 am

Ralph Wiggum:

The breath of my cat smells of cat food  cool 
Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life.
 
EMBQA
Posts: 7797
Joined: Sat Oct 25, 2003 3:52 am

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 7:57 am

Marge: Homer, your said if you don't come in today, don't bother coming in on Monday...!!
Homer: WooHooo, FOUR DAY WEEKEND....!!
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog"
 
GLAGAZ
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 8:01 am

Homer: Boy, you don't have to follow in my footsteps.
Bart: Don't worry, I don't even like using the bathroom after you.

Gaz
Neutrality means that u don't really care cos the struggle goes on even when ur not there, blind and unaware
 
Mexicana757
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 8:15 am

Ralph Wiggum Qoutes

"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me."

"Hi, Principal Skinner! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!"

"Me fail English? That's unpossible."
 
dtwclipper
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 8:34 am

Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."
Compare New York Air, the Airline that works for your Business
 
vikkyvik
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 8:43 am

Ralph (upon seeing Marge crying): "Her eyes need diapers!"

Barney: "I made a movie???"

Bart: "I have to tell you something. I think all girls are stinkypants."
Girl: "That took a lot of courage."

Girl: "There's no such thing as cooties, cootie-shots...or cootie insurance!"
Bart: "But State Farm took my money..."

Lou: "Well that made us look bad, huh Chief?"
Chief: "Just slink away, boys, slink away."

Bart: "Take'em away, boys."
Chief: "Hey that's my line! Bake'em away, toys."

Criminal-Guy (I forget his name): "The race begins when I yank down my girlfriend's tube top."
(Girlfriend looks horrified)
Guy: "What? I'm just trying to bring you into my world!"

El-Souveniros-Jackitos Guy: "If my jacket burns, then I burn with her. For I would rather die than have people not know what stores I've been to."

I hope I got those all correct.

~Vik
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".
 
JAGflyer
Topic Author
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:18 am

Homer: As soon as I get finish school I'm so outta here!
Otto: Dude! Your mom is hot (in reference to Marge)

Homer: I owe it all to Yes-I-Cannabis!
Support the beer and soda can industry, your recycle old airplanes!
 
futureualpilot
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:23 am

Principal Skinner: Would you support taxes to fund school programs?

Homer: Hell no! I'm saving up for a speedboat!




Just heard that today....got a good chuckle.
Life is better when you surf.
 
HPLASOps
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:45 am

Homer: Son, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is never try.



Ralph Wiggum: I bent my wookie!
"Just because I know how to get off a freeway doesn't mean I know how to get back on!" - Retard Joe
 
senorcarnival
Posts: 1732
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2005 4:05 am

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 10:40 am

That Family Guy lovefest was making me sick! Thanks for starting this...I got all these on a forward from a fellow Simpsons freak a couple of years back

Bart: What do we need church shoes for? Jesus wore sandals.
Homer: Well, maybe if he had had better arch support, they wouldn't have caught 'im.

Homer: Oh! And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember that time I took a home wine making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: And how!

Homer: If the Bible has taught us nothing else -- and it hasn't -- it's
that girls should stick to girl sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.

Homer (giving a lecture on marriage): What is a wedding? Webster's Dictionary defines a wedding as "The process of removing weeds from one's garden."

Homer (reading Internet for Dummies): Wow... they've got the Internet on
computers now?

Marge: You know, it's funny... your father and my mother both seem very
lonely.
Homer: Tee hee hee hee hee! That is funny!

Homer: A big mountain of sugar is too much for one man. I can see now
why God portions it out in those little packets.

Homer: Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees?
Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees
at you?

Lisa (reading invitation): "Come to Homer's BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB."
Bart: What's that extra B for?
Homer: That's a typo.

Homer: (Offering Lisa a donut.) Donut?
Lisa: Uhh... got any fruit?
Homer: This one has purple in it. Purple's a fruit.

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What
about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Heh heh heh... ooh... yeah... right, Lisa. A wonderful...magical
animal.

Doctor: (Eating a hot dog) Delicious!
Homer: I've got the presciption for you, Doctor... another hot beef
injection! (Hands him a hot dog)

Marge: Do you want your son to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, or
a sleazy male stripper?
Homer: Can't he be both, like the late Earl Warren?
Marge: Earl Warren was never a stripper!
Homer: Oh, now who's being naive?

Mr. Burns (Golfing with Homer): Use an open-faced club! A sand wedge!
Homer: Mmmmm... open-faced club sandwich.

Homer: For once, somebody may call me "Sir" without adding, "...you're
making a scene."

Homer (Upon finding out he's been admitted to college): (Singing) I am
so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T!

Homer: Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that... building... thingie...where our beds and TV... is.

Homer: Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Homer: Woo hoo! Cheap meat!

Homer: Oh, Lord! Why do You mock me?
Marge: Homer, that's not God. That's a waffle Bart stuck to the
ceiling.
(Marge pries the waffle off the ceiling.)
Homer: Lord, I know I shouldn't eat Thee, but... (munch munch munch)
mmm... sacrelicious.

Homer: Mmmm... beer.

Homer: Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This bible
cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except
this guy.

Homer: Mmmm... invisible cola.

Lenny: Hey, Homer? What do I tell the boss?
Homer: Tell him I'm going to the back seat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

Homer: Mmmm... free goo.

Big brother representative: Now, Mr. Simpson, may I ask why you're
here?
Homer's brain: Don't say revenge. Don't say revenge.
Homer: Ummm... revenge?
Homer's brain: Okay, that's it. I'm outta here. (step step step step
step... slam)

Homer: Okay, brain. You don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's
get through this thing and then I can continue killing you with beer.
Homer's Brain: It's a deal!

Homer: Ah, Andy Capp, you wife-beating drunk...

Homer: But Marge! I was a political prisoner!
Marge: How were you a political prisoner?
Homer: I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw you a picture?

Homer: Bart, a woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one! (chugs beer)

Old man: Take this doll, but beware; it carries a terrible curse.
Homer: Ooo, that's bad.
Old man: But it comes with a free serving of frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Old man: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Old man: But it comes with your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Old man: The toppings contain potassium benzoate...
Homer:
Old man: That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

Homer: Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Homer: If something goes wrong, blame the guy who can't speak English.

Homer: Son, when you participate in sporhing events, it's not whether
you win or lose... it's how drunk you get.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson
is, never try.

Homer: Mmmmm... 64 slices of American cheese. 64 (munch munch
munch)...63 (munch munch munch)
(cut to much later)
Homer: 2... (munch munch munch) ... 1 (munch munch munch)
Marge: Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer: I think I'm blind.

Homer: Mmmmm... floor pie.

Homer: It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but
somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology.
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: Okay, I will!

Reporter: Don't you think it's dangerous to send civilians into space?
Homer: I'll handle this... the only danger in space is if we land on the terrible Planet of the Apes... wait a minute. Statue of Liberty...THAT WAS OUR PLANET! YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO
HELL! (Starts sobbing uncontrollably)

Homer: Ahhh... sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?

Homer: Mmmm... bowling alley fresh.

Homer: Mmmm... urinal fresh.

Homer: Mmmm... elephant fresh.

Homer: Mmmm... soylent green.

Homer: Mmmm... crumbled-up cookie things.

Homer: Awww... 20 dollars!? I wanted a peanut.
Homer's brain: 20 dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how.
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo hoo!

Homer: When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I
thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie -- Spaceballs. But instead it was painful and disturbing. Like that movie -- Police Academy.

Marge: Homer, did you call the audience "Chicken"?
Homer: No! I swear on this bible!
Marge: That's not a bible. That's a book of carpet samples.
Homer: Mmmm... fuzzy.

Homer (Looking at a "nudie deck"): "The girls of the internet." Ooh, I'd go online with them anyday!

Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad!
Homer: Did you wreck the car?
Bart: No.
Homer: Did you raise the dead?
Lisa: Yes.
Homer: But the car's okay?
Bart & Lisa: Uh-huh.
Homer: All right then.

Homer: Mmmmm... reprocessed pig fat...

Homer (praying): Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever... thy will be done (munch munch munch).

Homer: If there's one thing I've learned, it's that life is one crushing
defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

Apu: Howdy, neighbor! May I spray you with the hose in a playful fashion?
Homer: Uhhh... spray the boy.

Homer: (On George Bush) I didn't vote for him!
Marge: You didn't vote for anybody.
Homer: I voted for Prell to go back to the old glass bottle. Then I
became deeply cynical.

Homer: Rock stars... is there anything they don't know?

Homer: What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back
here, anyway.

Homer: To find Flanders, I have to think like Flanders.
Homer's brain: I'm a big four-eyed lame-o! And I wear the same stupid
sweater every day and...
Homer: The Springfield river!

At the Chili Cookoff
Homer: Five-alarm chili, eh?
Ned: Uh-huh.
Homer: [eats some] One, two... hey, what's the big idea?
Ned: Oh, I admit it. It's only two-alarm, two-and-a-half, tops. I just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids.
Todd: Daddy? Are you going to jail?
Ned: We'll see, son. We'll see.

George: I'll ruin you like a Japanese banquet! I'll take your head and -- Gorbachev! Heh, what are you doing here?
Mikhail: I just dropped by with present for warming of house. Instead, find you grappling with local oaf.
Homer: Oh, brought some of your commie friends to help you fight dirty, eh?
George: But Mikhail, they put a wig on my head, my memoirs --
Barbara: George! This is the last straw. You apologize to Homer right now!
George: But Bar, [quietly] we can't show any weakness in front of the Russians.
Barbara: [reproachful] George...
George: [pause] Yes, dear.
Mikhail: [speaks Russian to his driver, and laughs]
Oh no, she's getting impatient! Take a stab at it!
 
JAGflyer
Topic Author
Posts: 3453
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 12:02 pm

Ned: (to Moe) And you are a ugly, hate-filled MAN!
Moe: I may be ugly, and I may be hate-filled, but I'm not a-what was that last thing you said?
Support the beer and soda can industry, your recycle old airplanes!
 
futuresdpdcop
Posts: 1226
Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 10:26 am

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 12:14 pm

"If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit.

Ooopps wrong Simpson.
 
boeingfanyyz
Posts: 970
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2005 12:12 pm

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 12:45 pm

Quoting FutureSDPDcop (Reply 15):
Ooopps wrong Simpson.

Actually, Simpson did not say that, but it was his lawyer (Cochran, I believe) who said that infamous line.

Please correct me if im wrong!

Cheers,
Boeingfanyyz  airplane 
"If it aint boeing, it aint going!", "Friends are like condoms...they protect you when things get hard!"
 
futuresdpdcop
Posts: 1226
Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 10:26 am

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 1:54 pm

Quoting Boeingfanyyz (Reply 16):
Actually, Simpson did not say that, but it was his lawyer (Cochran, I believe) who said that infamous line.

Please correct me if im wrong!

You're right. Was just tryin to make a joke.
 
YYZflyer
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 1:59 pm

Bart: Gee, sorry I was born.
Homer: You don't know how long I've been waiting to hear that.

Bart: (to Moe on phone) Is there a Mr Jass there, first name Hugh?
Moe: Ya just a sec. Is there a Hugh Jass here, everybody I'm looking for a Hugh Jass?
Hugh Jass: Yes I'm Hugh Jass
Moe: Phone call
Hugh: Hello
Bart: Umm, this was supposed to be a prank phone call......bye.
Hugh: Ah, what a nice young lad.
Avoid hangovers, stay drunk.
 
nkops
Posts: 2156
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 1:59 pm

Warden: How is a pig suppose to survive in space?

Homer: Air

Warden: There's no air in space.

Homer: But there's an air and space museum.
:evil:
 
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EGTESkyGod
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 7:55 pm

Comic Book Guy: "Pardon me, "SANTOS"... if that is your real name.... BART SIMPSON...... but your phoney credit card is no good here... now make like my pants... and split!"


Duffman: "Are you ready for some Duff love?!"
Duffman: "Duffman is THRUSTING in the direction of the problem!"
Duffman: "That brown patch needs a little H-2-Ooooooh.... OOOOOOOOOOH, yeah!!"


Bart: "There's no such thing as a sole, it's just something you're parents make up to scare you, like the booger man or Michael Jackson!"
(as a Michael Jackson fan, I still found that hilarious!)

Homer: "Every time I learn something new it pushes old stuff out of my brain."

Homer (on meeting Tony Blair): "Wow, I can't believe we just met Mr Bean!"
I came, I saw, I Concorde! RIP Michael Jackson
 
JGPH1A
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 8:35 pm

Best Homer line ever:

(Referring to Homer's patented moon-waffles, made with waffle batter, caramels and liquid smoke, wrapped around a stick of butter)

"Mmmmmm - fattennninggggg !"

 rotfl 
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 8:38 pm

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 21):
Best Homer line ever:

(Referring to Homer's patented moon-waffles, made with waffle batter, caramels and liquid smoke, wrapped around a stick of butter)

"Mmmmmm - fattennninggggg !"

I thought that was your line JGP...  duck 
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
mhodgson
Posts: 4673
Joined: Mon Dec 30, 2002 8:47 pm

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 8:51 pm

Marge: Wow, look at this place. The house number is spelled out with letters.
Homer: Get used to it, honey. From now on, we'll be spelling everything with letters.
No trees were harmed by this message. However, several million electrons were terribly inconvenienced
 
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OA412
Crew
Posts: 3763
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:06 pm

Homer: Son, if you really want something in life you have to work hard for it, NOW QUIET, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Marge: Homer are those bowling balls filled with liquor?
Homer: I can explain Marge! Please let me explain! Oh, why won't you let me explain!

Street Vendor: I have Mountain Dew or crab juice.
Homer: Ewww, blech, yuck...I'll take a crab juice.

Sherry (or Terry. How to tell them apart?): I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's.

Bart: We're going to live like kings! Damn, hell, ass kings!

Jimbo: Nice PJ's Simpson. Did you're mommy buy'em for you?
Bart: Of course she did, who else would have?
Jimbo (dumbfounded): All right, you win this round Simpson.

Homer (attempting to immitate Mr. Burns): Hello, my name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me.
Postal Clerk: OK Mr. Burns, what is your first name?
Homer: I don't know!

Burns: I need this letter sent to the Prussian consulate in Siam via Aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?
Postal Clerk (sounding like the squeaky-voiced-teen): Ummm, I'll have to check the manual
Burns: Bah, Ignorance!

Mmmmm, organized crime
Mmmmm, elephant fresh
Mmmmm, urinal fresh
Mmmmm, bowling fresh
Hughes Airwest - Top Banana In The West
 
Brendan03
Posts: 928
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2005 3:55 am

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:38 pm

This is one of my favorites

Bart reading from Cue Cards homer wrote:

Bart: Hello Mr... [Hesitation] Curns, Me bort, Me need money, Me sick
Homer: Oooh! He card read good!
Coolier than thou.
 
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EGTESkyGod
Posts: 1460
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 9:44 pm

Mrs Lovejoy: "They were having S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!"
Krusty: "SEX Cauldren?! I thought they closed that place down!!"

Krusty: "Lets just say it moved me..... TO A BIGGER HOUSE!! Oops! I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud, oh-ho dear!!"

[Edited 2006-03-29 13:45:35]
I came, I saw, I Concorde! RIP Michael Jackson
 
MattRB
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Wed Mar 29, 2006 10:47 pm

Homer: Shut up brain or I'll stab you with a Q-Tip™!

Ralph: I sleep in a drawer.
Aviation is proof that given, the will, we have the capacity to achieve the impossible.
 
JAGflyer
Topic Author
Posts: 3453
Joined: Tue Aug 10, 2004 5:31 am

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 12:25 am

Homer: Now we can get in on that Quimby lawsuit. Show your mother Bart.
Bart: (in Quimby accent) Mayah Quimby is my er-a-fatha. Gimme one million dollas!
Support the beer and soda can industry, your recycle old airplanes!
 
carmenlu15
Posts: 4517
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:24 am

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:02 am

"Mmm... unprocessed fishsticks"
"Mmm... ooh... maca-ma-damia nuts"
"Mmm... chocolate, ooh... double chocolate, (gasp) new flavor... triple chocolate!"
"Mmm... urinal fresh"
"Mmm... Marge"

Homer: "I want to share something with you -- the three little sentences that will get you through life. Number one, 'cover for me.' Number two, 'oh, good idea, boss.' Number three, 'it was like that when I got here.'"


Bart: "Man, I wish I was an adult so I could break the rules."


Homer, to the editor of the Reading Digest magazine: "Oh, I love your magazine. My favorite section is 'How to Increase your Word Power.' That thing is really, really, really... good."


Chief Wiggum: "Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city. He is the cancer and I am the... uh... what cures cancer?"


Lisa: "A man who envies our family is a man who needs help."


Homer: "Hey, if you're going to get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things!"
Don't expect to see me around that much (if at all) -- the contact link should still work, though.
 
DAL767400ER
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 1:37 am

Lisa: "This is not a Delta hub"
Homer: "Must destroy mankind!" (watch beeps) "Oh, lunch break"
Moe: "Yeah, Moe's Tavern, home of the world's smallest Large Screen TV."
 
senorcarnival
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Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2005 4:05 am

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 3:44 am

Homer, to Human-Killing Robots at Itchy and Scratchy Land: No one ruins my family's vacation except me!
Oh no, she's getting impatient! Take a stab at it!
 
nkops
Posts: 2156
Joined: Fri Jun 03, 2005 10:09 am

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 4:23 am

Anybody remember the episode when they changed the flight pattern of Springfield airport to go right over the Simpsons home??

The professor was on his flying contraption that you have to pedal. "Well, it's still better than flying USAir".
:evil:
 
senorcarnival
Posts: 1732
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2005 4:05 am

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 5:03 am

Quoting Nkops (Reply 32):

Yeah, and Lisa is sitting on the ground, bracing herself while listening to the sound of the jets, saying: "There goes the 10:15 from Phoenix, here comes the 10:32 from Newark." Big grin
Oh no, she's getting impatient! Take a stab at it!
 
senorcarnival
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Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2005 4:05 am

RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 5:11 am

A couple of the music choices on this show always made me laugh too. When Marge goes to Rancho Relaxo and Lisa and Bart stay at Patty and Selma's, Homer stays with Maggie (and Barney) but he loses Maggie. He calls SPD's Department of Missing Babies and their hold music is "Baby Come Back."

When Marge calls the Krusty Doll Hotline in one of the Halloween specials, their hold music goes, "Everybody loves a clown, so why don't you?"

Here's a couple of funny ones from the episode where Homer must help the IRS retrieve a trillion Dollar bill as punishment for tax evasion.
Kent Brockman: Tardy tax payers are scrambling to mail their returns by midnight! Sir, why did you wait until the last minute to pay your taxes?
Otto: Taxes?! Isn't this the line for Metallica?

[Lenny calculates his expenses leaning on Frink's back.]
Professor Frink: Oh no, no, no, I felt that! You didn't carry the 1, you foolish person! Now you'll incur the penalties, compound interest, and the wrath, and the trudgeons! B'hoy!

Homer: Marge! How many kids do we have? Oh, no time to count, I'll just estimate! Uh... nine!
Marge: Homer, you know we don't h--
Homer: Shut up, shut up! If I don't hear you it's not illegal! OK, I need some deductions, deductions... ah!! Business gifts!
[Homer grabs the boat painting from above the couch and hands it to Marge.]
Here you go, keep using nuclear power!
Marge: Homer! I painted that for you!
Homer: OK, Marge, if anyone asks, you require twenty four hour nursing care, Lisa's a clergyman, Maggie is seven people, and Bart was wounded in Vietnam!
Oh no, she's getting impatient! Take a stab at it!
 
DAL767400ER
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:08 am

Quoting Nkops (Reply 32):
Anybody remember the episode when they changed the flight pattern of Springfield airport to go right over the Simpsons home??

The professor was on his flying contraption that you have to pedal. "Well, it's still better than flying USAir".

Yup,hence my Lisa quote in reply 30  Wink . Best episode ever, IMO.
 
nkops
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:13 am

Quoting DAL767400ER (Reply 35):
Best episode ever, IMO

I agree... I thought it was hilarious, and I was working at US at the time.
:evil:
 
planespotting
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:35 am

Said again at again at sporting events when someone boo's:

Crowd: Booooooooooooooo! Boooooooooooooooo
Mr. Burns: Why are they booing me?
Smithers: They're not booing you sir...they're saying...."booo-urns."
Mr. Burns: Excuse me...are you saying "boooo", or "booo-urns?"
Crowd: Boooooooooooooooo!
Hans Mellman: ...I was saying "boo-urns."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
After learning that it was Maggie who shot Mr. Burns:

Marge: Well I'm sure if Maggie could talk she would apologize for shooting you.
Mr. Burns: I'm afraid that's insufficient! *directed at Chief Wiggum* Officer, Arrest the Baby!!
Chief Wiggum: Ha, yeah right pal, no jury in the world is gonna convict a baby...mmmaybe Texas.
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vikkyvik
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:22 am

I love how, reading all these quotes, you hear all the characters' voices like the episode is going on in your head. Not many shows about which I can say that.

Quoting Nkops (Reply 32):
Anybody remember the episode when they changed the flight pattern of Springfield airport to go right over the Simpsons home??

That one was on last week I think. Funny as hell.

~Vik
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".
 
senorcarnival
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 9:34 am

Quoting EGTESkyGod (Reply 20):
Comic Book Guy: "Pardon me, "SANTOS"... if that is your real name.... BART SIMPSON...... but your phoney credit card is no good here... now make like my pants... and split!"

This episode is on now. What a coincidence.
Oh no, she's getting impatient! Take a stab at it!
 
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EGTESkyGod
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 5:53 pm

Quoting Senorcarnival (Reply 31):
Homer, to Human-Killing Robots at Itchy and Scratchy Land: No one ruins my family's vacation except me!

"And maybe the boy!"

Quoting Senorcarnival (Reply 39):
Quoting EGTESkyGod (Reply 20):
Comic Book Guy: "Pardon me, "SANTOS"... if that is your real name.... BART SIMPSON...... but your phoney credit card is no good here... now make like my pants... and split!"

This episode is on now. What a coincidence.

Is a bit of a coincidence, eh?!
I came, I saw, I Concorde! RIP Michael Jackson
 
emiratesa345
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:09 pm

Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 8):
Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."



Quoting EGTESkyGod (Reply 26):
Mrs Lovejoy: "They were having S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!"
Krusty: "SEX Cauldren?! I thought they closed that place down!!"

Two of my favourites... love them!

Mark
You and I were meant to fly, Air Canada!
 
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LTU932
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:34 pm

Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 9):
Criminal-Guy

Do you mean Snake or Fat Tony with Criminal-Guy?

Some other quotes I know:

Bart: Eat my shorts!
Burns: Excellent!
Homer: Increase my killing power, ey? Let's do it!
Milhouse: Oh, Puppy Goo-Goo, fetch me a dream!
Superintendent Chalmers: SKINNER!!!
Skinner: Oh, heh, superintendant Chalmers!
Sideshow Bob, everytime he gets free and meets Bart: Hello, Bart!
Bart and Lisa: AHHHH, Sideshow Bob!
Homer: YOUR PREGNANT?! Ahhhhhhh
Homer: Hmmmmm, Chocolate! **then Homer starts drooling**
One of the Aliens joining Kang and Konos to Homer: Your wife is quite a dishhhhh.
One of the Aliens joining Kang and Konos, after being asked for his name: To pronounce it correctly, I would have to rip out your tonnnnngue.
Homer, when he is told his wish of owning a football team has come true and he sees the Broncos on his front lawn: Ohh, the Denver Broncos?
Duffman after being fired and being replaced with Santa's Little Helper: I'm not Duffman anymore.
Nelson: Haw, Haw!
 
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EGTESkyGod
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 7:02 pm

Superintendant Chalmers: "Why is it when I heard the word 'school' and the word 'exploded' I immediately thought of the word "SKINNER?!"

USAF Guy: "This is the British built Harrier jet... It is so uncomplicated even a CHILD could fly it."
Lisa: "Can I fly it?"
USAF Guy: "Of course you canNOT!"

[Edited 2006-03-30 11:03:10]
I came, I saw, I Concorde! RIP Michael Jackson
 
Brendan03
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 7:14 pm

Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 38):
I love how, reading all these quotes, you hear all the characters' voices like the episode is going on in your head. Not many shows about which I can say that.

Haha Definetly!

I used to watch Frasier at 7:30pm here when it was on and the simpsons at 8, All the time I'd see Kelsey Grammer doing the closing lines on Frasier to see Sideshow bob on the simpsons and I never ever realised until the episode where Sideshow Bobs brother comes into it... that someone told me

"You know who plays Sideshow Bobs brother?"
Me: ??
"David Hyde Pierce"
Me: ??
The guy who played Niles in Frasier
Me: No way.. Whoa, Duh, Ofcourse!"
Did you even realise Sideshow Bob is Kelsey Grammer?
Me: ... k, Stop it, I feel stoopdi now

and shortly after that, The charactor in simspons quotes something like "Merris, Is that you?" (Frasier fans will understand)

I'd love it if someone could quote this (I can't off hand)
Coolier than thou.
 
EddieGunsmoke
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 7:41 pm

Homer: Dog for sale! Dog for sale!
Dr. Hibbert: How much for the dog?
Homer: He's not for sale.
 
ConcordeMach2
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:04 pm

Willy (Singing)

"Im so drunk I can barely see but it helps me get through another day!
My stomach is full of Haggis and beer,
Ive got to go puke in some hay!
 
vikkyvik
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:05 pm

Quoting LTU932 (Reply 42):

Do you mean Snake or Fat Tony with Criminal-Guy?

Snake (he has the snake tattoo on his arm, right?)

Quoting Brendan03 (Reply 44):
I used to watch Frasier at 7:30pm here when it was on and the simpsons at 8, All the time I'd see Kelsey Grammer doing the closing lines on Frasier to see Sideshow bob on the simpsons and I never ever realised until the episode where Sideshow Bobs brother comes into it... that someone told me

I hear ya on that one. I had no idea that Kelsey Grammar and David Hyde Pierce played those characters, even though I watched Frasier now and then. Since I found out, it's hard to think of Sideshow Bob as just himself, without associating him with Frasier. Oh well....

~Vik
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".
 
Thom@s
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Thu Mar 30, 2006 8:57 pm

Chief Wiggum: "Allright Simpson, you're going in the chair."
Homer: *Gasp*
Wiggum: "The interrigation chair."
Homer: *phew*
Wiggum: "Plug it in boys!"
Homer: *gasp*


Sideshow Bob's brother (voice of David Hyde Pierce) is about to blow the Dam as bart jumps on his back and covers his eyes.
Bart: "Guess who!"
Brother: "Marris?"


Wiggum: "Fat Tony, you're under arrest for murder!"
Fat Tony: "What's a murder?"
Wiggum: "Don't play dumb with me."


Moe is given a lie detector test:
Moe: "Can I go now, I have a hot date tonight."
BEEP
Moe: "Ok, I have dinner plans."
BEEP
Moe: "Dinner on my own."
BEEP
(After a while)
Moe: "Look, I don't deserve this kind of treatment!"
BEEP


And so on...

Thom@s
"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
 
planespotting
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RE: Simpsons Quote Thread

Fri Mar 31, 2006 1:37 am

Quoting Thom@s (Reply 48):

Moe is given a lie detector test:
Moe: "Can I go now, I have a hot date tonight."
BEEP
Moe: "Ok, I have dinner plans."
BEEP
Moe: "Dinner on my own."
BEEP
(After a while)
Moe: "Look, I don't deserve this kind of treatment!"
BEEP

And so on.

good quote, i'll complete it for ya:

*moe is hooked up to a lie detector machine*
Chief Wiggum: Okay sir you're free to go.
Moe: Good cuz I got a hot date tonite. *beeeeep* (indicating he's lying)
Moe: A date *beeeeep*
Moe: Dinner with friends *beeeeep*
Moe: Dinner alone *beeeep*
Moe: Watchin TV alone *beeeep*
Moe: Alllriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite...I'm gonna sit at home and oggle the ladies in the Victoria Secret Catalog *beeeep*
Moe: (dejected...)Sears Catalog *ping*
Moe: Now will you unhook this already please!? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment! *beeeep*
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