lehpron
Posts: 6846
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2001 3:42 am

If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:35 am

To answer I'd say "I know", but what else to say and what to do, I don't know.

[Edited 2006-04-16 02:37:16]
The meaning of life is curiosity; we were put on this planet to explore opportunities.
 
stirling
Posts: 3897
Joined: Sat Jun 12, 2004 2:00 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:36 am

There's many a fish in the sea my friend.
Delete this User
 
aloges
Posts: 14842
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:38 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:44 am

I'd probably have trouble getting over my sarcasm and answer "Yes, and the doctor who gave it to me was really cute, too."
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
boeingfanyyz
Posts: 970
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2005 12:12 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 10:07 am

I'd probably say "Dont worry baby, I've got another bullett all loaded up". Seems pretty cheesy, but it would get the point across.  wink 

Cheers,
Boeingfanyyz  airplane 
"If it aint boeing, it aint going!", "Friends are like condoms...they protect you when things get hard!"
 
FlightShadow
Posts: 1060
Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2005 4:43 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 10:09 am

"you had your shot" ... ?

Signed,
FlightShadow in need of enlightenment
"When the tide goes out, you can tell who was skinnydipping."
 
IHadAPheo
Posts: 5499
Joined: Mon Sep 17, 2001 3:26 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 10:20 am

"you had your shot..."

"Not to worry, I shoot blanks"


IHAP
Pray hard but pray with care For the tears that you are crying now Are just your answered prayers
 
lehpron
Posts: 6846
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2001 3:42 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 10:26 am

Quoting Stirling (Reply 1):
There's many a fish in the sea my friend.

i understand and accept that old saying, just having a hard time believing it applies to me.

Quoting Boeingfanyyz (Reply 3):
I'd probably have trouble getting over my sarcasm and answer "Yes, and the doctor who gave it to me was really cute, too."



Quoting Boeingfanyyz (Reply 3):
I'd probably say "Dont worry baby, I've got another bullett all loaded up". Seems pretty cheesy, but it would get the point across.

thanks for the short laugh

Quoting FlightShadow (Reply 4):
you had your shot" ... ?

everyone deserves a second chance, supposedly; that was my shot. admitting wrongs just doesn't cut it. i'm still happy despite everything, she was awesome and because of her, i am who i am and proud of it. I just i miss her, I might always for the rest of my life. i abused her kindness for being a dick and i'll never forgive myself. she's the only one ever so far that i cared about, just didn't act like it before and i cant forget that stuff.
The meaning of life is curiosity; we were put on this planet to explore opportunities.
 
aloges
Posts: 14842
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 3:38 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 10:27 am

Quoting Ihadapheo (Reply 5):
"Not to worry, I shoot blanks"

Erm, your profile says otherwise.  Wink
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
rolfen
Posts: 1539
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:03 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:24 pm

I would bury my head in regrets but I have learned to know better then that. Doubt feeds doubt, so dont doubt what you did that's who you are and if they dont like them, well, you know, s**** them.

There probably was nothing to shoot at in the first place. That's funny though I never heard a girl say that. Usually if they like you they're open until you take your shot (of course, dont wait monthes), and then well, for me, they close up and I end up the messed up one.

Dont put yourself in the position of blame. Why? Why my friend? What crime did you do?
rolf
 
L-188
Posts: 29881
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 1999 11:27 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:33 pm

Quoting Lehpron (Thread starter):
"you Had Your Shot"

Just tell her that hunters pass up non-trophy shots.
OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
 
Confuscius
Posts: 3568
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2001 12:29 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:36 pm

If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

But you didn't swallow....let's try again.
Ain't I a stinker?
 
bristolflyer
Posts: 2103
Joined: Fri May 14, 2004 1:35 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:54 pm

Without knowing any of the surrounding details, here's my 2 cents...

This woman has got a massive ego. She's kind of saying - 'I'm so special, you're gonna get one chance and you didn't achieve what was required'.

It's kind of like that other thread titled 'Girls' on the forum. A lot of men look at the female of the species as though they call all the shots when it comes to dating and that they have to fall in with whatever the girl wants in order for the relationship to go ahead (notice that I didn't say 'to be successful').

Indeed I used to be like this. Well a lot of men need to raise their game, and if the girl doesn't like what they're offering then that's just the way it is, don't change just to fall in with them.

Similar to getting a 'no' from an interview, it's normally not 'cos you're a bad person it's cos you're not compatable with the other party. Get out there and find a better match!

BF
Fortune favours the brave
 
airwave
Posts: 1105
Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:42 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 12:57 pm

Quoting Aloges (Reply 2):
I'd probably have trouble getting over my sarcasm

Same here. Although I don't know if it'd be sarcasm so much as ambivalence or even relief, lol. Though I'm sure some droll wit would shine through in the end. It almost always does.

Airwave  eyebrow 
When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.
 
md80fanatic
Posts: 2365
Joined: Tue Apr 13, 2004 11:29 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 1:26 pm

If you care about her the way you say you do, then she'll be back....sooner or later. Don't close that book just yet.  Smile Give her the space she needs to decide what is real and what is not.
 
User avatar
HAWK21M
Posts: 29867
Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2001 10:05 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sun Apr 16, 2006 9:28 pm

The 1st was to check.The 2nd is the real one  Smile
regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
rolfen
Posts: 1539
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:03 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:28 am

Quoting Lehpron (Thread starter):
If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

I didnt want to waste my ammo on you.


Quoting Lehpron (Reply 6):
i abused her kindness for being a dick and i'll never forgive myself

Would you tell me what your crime was? The way I see it she's the one being a dick, and she's testing you with some pure bitch stuff by putting the blame on you. If she was halfway decent she'd have at least made up an excuse, like she's engaged, she has other plans, or simply she doesnt want to, instead of blaming you for being who you are... of course that's is unless you really are a dick and did some intentional evil to her and conscious efforts to hurt her. But dicks usually dont describe themselves as dicks and always deny being so. That's why your case looks more like exessive self-blame and a badly wounded ego.



[Edited 2006-04-16 21:41:47]
rolf
 
LSPA
Posts: 188
Joined: Sun Jan 22, 2006 6:32 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:41 am

"you had your shot"

well..too bad i missed you.
~reach for the sky!
 
copaair737
Posts: 3571
Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2003 5:00 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 4:49 am

Quoting L-188 (Reply 9):
Just tell her that hunters pass up non-trophy shots.

I'll have to remember that one. Its great. I always come up with something cynical to say, but that one takes the cake.

-Copa
Livin' on Reds, Vitamin C, and Cocaine
 
AR385
Posts: 6735
Joined: Fri Nov 07, 2003 8:25 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 5:32 am

Quoting Stirling (Reply 1):
There's many a fish in the sea my friend.

Not only that Lephron, but unfortunately that's life. You screwed up, fine, learn from your mistake, and move on. Before you know it, you will find someone who will fill your soul, mind and heart. Now, concentrate on your studies, exercise, and get an interesting hobby (preferably one where you can socialize with ladies) From your profile, any decent, intelligent woman who does not set her eyes on you would be plain dumb...and I'm not gay.

In 1998 on my second year at UVA's MBA program, my wife to be broke up with me because she found another guy. I also got the "You had your shot" speech. Well, yes, I was devastated, took a lot of energy just to get up every morning to get to class, but then, after a while, the pain just went away, to a more "I'm glad I didn't marry her" attitude. I mean if she can exchange a three year relationship for one where she met a guy for only two months, well, her freaking loss.

All in all, I got engaged a year ago, and if you ask me, my feelings for my fiancee have nothing to do with what I thought at the time I felt in 1998. I really love my fiance.

So, be patient, don't deny the pain, just let it roll, and soon you'll discover, it's just part of life.
 
rolfen
Posts: 1539
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:03 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 6:39 am

I'm glad I never came across such a woman. "You had your shot". What's that? Does she really expect every guy that she crosses to be dying to "take shots at her" and change himself into what she wants? That is a messed up personnality.

[Edited 2006-04-16 23:47:13]
rolf
 
lehpron
Posts: 6846
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2001 3:42 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 8:23 am

Quoting Rolfen (Reply 15):
Would you tell me what your crime was?

Years ago I used to have emotional problems and dumped them on anyone who could help me, even on A.net. Back then I was pretty selfish, I was more concerned about what was going on with me than how it affected anyone else. She claimed I was always a downer, my guess she could only take so much, that I may never change.

That I have and she didn't know and my guess that didn't matter was probably why she said that I had my last chance.

Quoting Ar385 (Reply 18):
So, be patient, don't deny the pain, just let it roll, and soon you'll discover, it's just part of life.

I've had this pain for years, I don't think it's going away. I'm getting pretty close to having the audacity of claiming no one know what this is like. There is a lot I haven't said, much of it doesn't make sense to me; my feelings, what has happened, my wishes, etc. I'm normally and extremely logical person -- I can't describe this shit, I lost my dream girl dammit, I pushed her away!

I'm not being dramatic, I figure now that maybe I'm not supposed to know, like I'm supposed to live with the pain I have. I get to keep these memories. Luckily though, I know how to hide it, as long as i pay attention to my career, no one knows.
The meaning of life is curiosity; we were put on this planet to explore opportunities.
 
User avatar
yowza
Posts: 4275
Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 7:01 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 8:37 am

Quoting Confuscius (Reply 10):
If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

But you didn't swallow....let's try again.

Coming from confucius, I'd have to agree with this  Wink

Jokes aside, tell her what she means to you and that you know you've been a dick and that you probably don't deserve another chance. But if she were to give you a second chance that it would be the single most important act of forgiveness in her life and that you will dedicate yourself and your future to making her see that.

You don't need to believe the above to say it but it will work. After a little bit of her holding this over your head you can say "you can't hold this over my head forever" and you're in the clear.

YOWza
 
AR385
Posts: 6735
Joined: Fri Nov 07, 2003 8:25 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 8:52 am

Quoting Lehpron (Reply 20):
I've had this pain for years, I don't think it's going away. I'm getting pretty close to having the audacity of claiming no one know what this is like. There is a lot I haven't said, much of it doesn't make sense to me; my feelings, what has happened, my wishes, etc. I'm normally and extremely logical person -- I can't describe this shit, I lost my dream girl dammit, I pushed her away!

I'm not being dramatic, I figure now that maybe I'm not supposed to know, like I'm supposed to live with the pain I have. I get to keep these memories. Luckily though, I know how to hide it, as long as i pay attention to my career, no one knows.

Ok, First of all you need to get this in your head. NO ONE is supposed to live with any pain. If there are memories you are hiding, you need them to come out, not in this forum obviously but somewhere with other people that can help you.

You appear to have been and are in a state of long-term, major depression. This is ok, it is normal. I have it, but I control it with therapy and medications. Since 15% to 20% of people with your condition and mine committ suicide, you are a good candidate for help. I would suggest you go to a psychiatrist who will certainly help you. Take it from me, life does not have to be that sad. It's just our neurotransmissors playing with us. Also, unless you are OK, you will never find someone OK for you. Think about that. But please, seek some sort of counseling. We all want to see you in this forum often.
 
rolfen
Posts: 1539
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:03 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 9:22 am

Quoting Lehpron (Reply 20):
Luckily though, I know how to hide it, as long as i pay attention to my career, no one knows.

Yeah, hide your feelings away and live alone for the rest of your life.

Quoting Lehpron (Reply 20):
She claimed I was always a downer

Well maybe you are one, listen to yourself... you say that you lost the girl of your life... It makes me wonder how old you are... are you over 50?

Maybe you're just stuck in a bad situation and you need to try to change things, and then something good will happen which will give you back some optimism. Dont say that you have already tried. You are never done trying in life, but a little counseling might spare your energy.

[Edited 2006-04-17 02:28:36]
rolf
 
Nordair
Posts: 1080
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 1:36 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 9:32 am

Quoting Lehpron (Reply 20):
Years ago I used to have emotional problems and dumped them on anyone who could help me, even on A.net. Back then I was pretty selfish, I was more concerned about what was going on with me than how it affected anyone else. She claimed I was always a downer, my guess she could only take so much, that I may never change.

Speaking as one of those on a.net whom you dumped on, I'd advise telling her how you feel and with any luck, she will have a measure of understanding about your state of mind then and now. If she still rebuffs you, then try to move on with some dignity.

She may have been your "dream girl", but dreams are just that...dreams. They are never what they seem and they are never real.

Take care of yourself first and don't worry about her.
"It is never legitimate to use the words of scripture to promote a loveless agenda." - Right Rev. Dr. Peter Short
 
ETStar
Posts: 1850
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2004 6:25 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 9:39 am

"you had your shot"

"yup, and I chose to save it"
 
rolfen
Posts: 1539
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:03 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 9:40 am

Quoting YOWza (Reply 21):
Jokes aside, tell her what she means to you and that you know you've been a dick and that you probably don't deserve another chance. But if she were to give you a second chance that it would be the single most important act of forgiveness in her life and that you will dedicate yourself and your future to making her see that.

Yowza, you're a genius.
rolf
 
lehpron
Posts: 6846
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2001 3:42 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 11:40 am

Quoting AR385 (Reply 22):
You appear to have been and are in a state of long-term, major depression. This is ok, it is normal. I have it, but I control it with therapy and medications. Since 15% to 20% of people with your condition and mine committ suicide, you are a good candidate for help. I would suggest you go to a psychiatrist who will certainly help you. Take it from me, life does not have to be that sad. It's just our neurotransmissors playing with us. Also, unless you are OK, you will never find someone OK for you. Think about that. But please, seek some sort of counseling. We all want to see you in this forum often.

I've done all that a long time ago, I'm not despressed anymore. I've been overall happy for over a year and a half. Just this one subject gets me; when I think about it, I usualy don't. It seems seasonal, around this time is when we met and last spoke. The title of this thread happened a while ago. Since then, I've been trying to figure out what I did and what she meant to me and why it matters.

For the record, I'm about as far from suicide as the moon. I'm too close to finishing college and I have several projects to prove my ideas, some that have started because I was trying to impress her but others that began in the 90's. I technically have a life to start, I just wish she was part of it.

Quoting YOWza (Reply 21):
Jokes aside, tell her what she means to you and that you know you've been a dick and that you probably don't deserve another chance.

I plan to say that, but I feel she may reply, "I dono what to tell ya", what then?

Quoting YOWza (Reply 21):
But if she were to give you a second chance that it would be the single most important act of forgiveness in her life and that you will dedicate yourself and your future to making her see that.

When I discuss my ideas to professors and friends, I tell them I do not want them to believe in me, rather, they believe in the data I am presenting; actions speak louder than words and seeing is believing. I can only hope she will let me show her.

Quoting Rolfen (Reply 23):
Well maybe you are one, listen to yourself... you say that you lost the girl of your life... It makes me wonder how old you are... are you over 50?

If I come off as a downer now, I do not see how that can imply that this has always been the case. I was then (I'm not denying that or implying it was done on purpose), but I have been busy lately and once in a while when I'm not, things will come back. She doesn't know half this stuff, I've never really said it, I'm worried it'll have no impact cuz it's been a while. Then I'll really feel odd.

Wow, I sense deja vous...  irked 
The meaning of life is curiosity; we were put on this planet to explore opportunities.
 
rolfen
Posts: 1539
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:03 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 9:23 pm

We're obviously not in the same age and in the same situation / frame of mind, so I wouldnt want to give you any more "advice".
Just dont be so pessimist, you may meet another "woman of your life" tomorrow. You never know. Some of the things I have been wanting badly for for one year or more happened during these 2 weeks. Dont give up, keep trying as hard as you can, it helps a lot in the long term.
rolf
 
User avatar
EGTESkyGod
Posts: 1460
Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2005 11:27 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Mon Apr 17, 2006 11:02 pm

Lehpron, buddy, don't hang yourself up on it, it doesn't do you (or her) any good. I learned that a long time ago, and I only turn 20 next week.

Though I wasn't with the girl at the time, I had a similar situation about 4 years ago, and I hung myself up on it for ages and ages. Then another similar situation about a year or two back, and didn't let myself get hung up over it. And trust me, it works.

I'm happy now, and have been since, doesn't mean I didn't like the girls, but sometimes you just gotta get on with things otherwise you will stay down for a long time.

Best of luck to ya, matey.
I came, I saw, I Concorde! RIP Michael Jackson
 
AirframeAS
Posts: 9811
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2004 3:56 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Tue Apr 18, 2006 2:42 am

I think the best way to deal with it is to move on. What some women cannot understand is that we, guys, cannot take clues, hints or anything like that. If a woman wanted something, she should be direct and just SAY what the hell she wants.

Women tend to think indirectly. IE...how much time does the woman spend in a clothing store for starters while men can go into a store and buy a pair of jeans in 5 mins compaired to 2 hours for women.

If your gf dumps you for an unexplained reason, shes an idiot.

I, too, had the 'had your shot' thrown at me last year....and hell, I dont care. I dont need her! I can go on and on about the situation, but it involves another A.netter and I wont reveal who it was for obvious reasons. Drama sucks and I refuse to be a part of it.
A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
 
DrDeke
Posts: 805
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2005 7:13 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Tue Apr 18, 2006 6:21 am

Quoting Lehpron (Reply 27):

I plan to say that, but I feel she may reply, "I dono what to tell ya", what then?

Then, I think you may have to come to terms with the situation and move on. It may take a long time to do this, but what else could you do?

-DrDeke
If you don't want it known, don't say it on a phone.
 
lehpron
Posts: 6846
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2001 3:42 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Tue Apr 18, 2006 7:20 pm

I don't know how to move on, I haven't exactly had enough experiences to justify knowing what I'm doing. Whatever most of ya'll done since your teens, I've only started in my early 20's. I might have to take the long way back.
The meaning of life is curiosity; we were put on this planet to explore opportunities.
 
jafa39
Posts: 4320
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2005 2:14 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Tue Apr 18, 2006 8:02 pm

You will regret it forever, when you are 40 you will lay awake at night dreaming about how happy you would be now if only you hadn't blown it then.

This incident will cause you misery, you will shout "Bugger!" when you think about her and no-one is listening, you will have hot sweats whenever something reminds you of her. You will call yourself a dumbass in private.

Sorry to sound negative but the true implications of this will take years to hit home...and hit they will.

Best to take up drinking right now and try to erase the memory.  Wink
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
User avatar
aerorobnz
Posts: 7413
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2001 3:43 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Tue Apr 18, 2006 8:49 pm

"As you've stated your opinion I won't waste any more of my time with you, I have better things to be doing with my life than moping over something that in the greater perspective of my life will be insignificant"

Assertiveness is a skill you will need to rely on throughout your life, learn now and you'll be better off. When a girl tells you something like that she's more likely telling you 'If you can't talk your way out of this, then it will be your last shot.' . It's a last ditch stunt to see how good your response is that is stereotypically depicted in the Romantic comedies by the needy characters that so many tragic individuals base their lovelives on. Don't be one of them.

One must always be in a position where you can come out on top of a situation. Control of your own life is more important than anything else. If you cannot control your actions & emotions then you will always have problems.
Flown to 120 Airports in 44 Countries on 73 Operators. Visited 55 Countries and counting. Wanderlust is like Syphilis, once you have the itch it's too late for treatment.
 
ANCFlyer
Posts: 21391
Joined: Mon Nov 15, 2004 3:51 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Tue Apr 18, 2006 8:50 pm

Quoting Lehpron (Thread starter):
If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

 scratchchin 

Better adjust the sights . . . .
FOR THOSE THAT FOUGHT FOR IT, FREEDOM HAS A FLAVOR THE PROTECTED WILL NEVER KNOW OR UNDERSTAND
 
rolfen
Posts: 1539
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:03 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Wed Apr 19, 2006 2:53 am

You can try making a "reset" or "recycle" like they say in aviation. Call her and tell her she's a bitch and everything you can think to hurt her. Then grieve the relationship, then move on.

I'm still having some regrets haunting me about a swedish girl I met in a bar a couple of monthes ago. All I know about her is her name and that she lives on a sailboat. Until now I cant comprehend why I exchange numbers with anything that moves but I didnt give her my number.
rolf
 
texan
Posts: 4059
Joined: Tue Dec 23, 2003 2:23 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Wed Apr 19, 2006 3:41 am

Quoting Lehpron (Thread starter):
If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

That's because it was a warning shot. The next one is not  Smile

Of course, the gracious thing to do would be to say, "Well, thank you for the chance. I wish you nothing but the best for the future. Good luck, and if you ever need a shoulder to cry on you have my number." That's a reason why I have lots of female friends, some of whom used to be girlfriends, but am still able to remain unattached. Best of both worlds.

Texan
"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library."
 
andessmf
Posts: 5689
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:53 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Wed Apr 19, 2006 4:31 am

Quoting AirframeAS (Reply 30):
I, too, had the 'had your shot' thrown at me last year....and hell, I dont care. I dont need her! I can go on and on about the situation

Bad idea. The trick is if that you ever will be in a long-term relationship, you need to be able to deal with the good and the bad. Just ending a relationship for whatever disagreements you might have with the other person doesnt teach you well how to properly deal with it and solve it. That attitude of 'I dont care' might fit with some relationships, but for the long term you should be able to care enough to find out why.

It could be you with the problem, it could be her, but you dont find out by not asking, in a considerate manner. My wife and I had the similar situation at the beginning of our relationship. We both had many chances of calling it quits, before and after marriage. Somehow we learned how to listen to each other and communicate properly, w/o aggravating each other further. We rarely have any heated discussions in the last several years, and when we might get to the 'you had your shot' point, the situation can be defused very easily.
 
AirframeAS
Posts: 9811
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2004 3:56 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:08 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 38):
Bad idea. The trick is if that you ever will be in a long-term relationship, you need to be able to deal with the good and the bad. Just ending a relationship for whatever disagreements you might have with the other person doesnt teach you well how to properly deal with it and solve it. That attitude of 'I dont care' might fit with some relationships, but for the long term you should be able to care enough to find out why.

I was dumped, dude.... No warnings, no nuthin! She told me I had my shot when she came home one night and dumped me on the spot right when she walked into the door. I was with her for 3 years.

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 38):
It could be you with the problem, it could be her, but you dont find out by not asking, in a considerate manner.

Oh, it is HER....not me. Believe me, I have asked. She told me a lie when I asked and I found out the truth from someone else later and then I heard it from herself much much later. Im the last person anyone would want to lie to, seriously!!!! I know I need to lighten up sometimes.....
A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
 
andessmf
Posts: 5689
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:53 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:27 am

Quoting AirframeAS (Reply 39):

Indeed it looks pretty much like her fault, after all I said it could be her. And the breakup seems pretty immature from my side. Maybe after the initial pain goes away and a few years go by, you'll be able to say 'good riddance'.

The last g/f who dumped me, dumped me for another guy, who she eventually married. I was pretty devastated but handled things well enough to attend the wedding. She later had a pretty bitter divorce with the dude and was left behind with a daughter. Guess who had the last laugh...
 
AirframeAS
Posts: 9811
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2004 3:56 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:34 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 40):
And the breakup seems pretty immature from my side.

No, its not. Its your opinion and I respect that.

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 40):
Maybe after the initial pain goes away and a few years go by, you'll be able to say 'good riddance'.

Im saying 'good riddance' now, but the pain is still there. I was trying to save a relationship that didnt exist any longer with her for like 9 months. After we broke up, she went straight into drugs, lost her job as a result of it and moved back to her hometown. She went into a nosedive in her life after she dumped me and I KNEW that was going to happen eventually.

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 40):
The last g/f who dumped me, dumped me for another guy, who she eventually married.

Lets hope it wasnt one of your buddies she married.

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 40):
Guess who had the last laugh...

Of course..... Big Bird! LOL!  laughing 
A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
 
andessmf
Posts: 5689
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:53 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:38 am

Quoting AirframeAS (Reply 41):
No, its not. Its your opinion and I respect that.

I'm sorry, I meant to say more from her side, and it looks like you are proving that.

Quoting AirframeAS (Reply 41):

Im saying 'good riddance' now, but the pain is still there

The pain might disappear once you find someone else, but yes, it will be there for a while.

And no, she didnt marry a buddy of mine. But I found out the divorce story after she talked to my wife about it!
 
AirframeAS
Posts: 9811
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2004 3:56 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:41 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 42):
The pain might disappear once you find someone else, but yes, it will be there for a while.

I want to be with someone, no question...I just hate doing the dating thing again...its sort of like interviewing someone or being interviewed by someone which sucks.

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 42):
But I found out the divorce story after she talked to my wife about it!

How did your wife come to contact with the chick you mentioned?? That must be scary thinking "My ex, who dumped me, talks to my wife" Goodness Gracious!!! Thats scary! scared 
A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
 
andessmf
Posts: 5689
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:53 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:46 am

Quoting AirframeAS (Reply 43):

How did your wife come to contact with the chick you mentioned??

We still keep in contact and send Christmas cards to each other.

Quoting AirframeAS (Reply 43):
I just hate doing the dating thing again...its sort of like interviewing someone or being interviewed by someone which sucks.

Best description I heard in a long time, maybe ever.
 
AirframeAS
Posts: 9811
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2004 3:56 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Thu Apr 20, 2006 5:50 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 44):
We still keep in contact and send Christmas cards to each other.

Makes sense.

Id tell the whole story on the forum but it involves an A.netter who was totally attracted to him when me and my ex-gf met up with him for drinks all because she wanted to know who I was associating with on this board which I thought at the time was reasonable, but now I look back and think I shouldnt of done that.
A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
 
lehpron
Posts: 6846
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2001 3:42 am

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Thu Apr 20, 2006 2:23 pm

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 42):
The pain might disappear once you find someone else, but yes, it will be there for a while.

 crossfingers Someone else, there's a concept. We met 6 years ago and "it" technically ended a year ago, whatever we had be it nothing in the end... brokenheart 

But see, ya'll actually believe there would be someone else, I could consider that as butterfly effect. What if you didn't believe?
The meaning of life is curiosity; we were put on this planet to explore opportunities.
 
AirframeAS
Posts: 9811
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2004 3:56 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:11 am

Quoting AirframeAS (Reply 45):
Id tell the whole story on the forum but it involves an A.netter who was totally attracted to him

I said that wrong: My ex-gf was attracted to another A.netter. My ex never was a member of A.net.
A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
 
deltadc9
Posts: 2788
Joined: Fri Apr 14, 2006 10:00 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sat Apr 22, 2006 4:19 am

Quoting Lehpron (Reply 6):
i understand and accept that old saying, just having a hard time believing it applies to me.

Thats what everyone thinks until the next one comes along. Thats what I thought in 1985 when my first serious relationship ended. And all the ones before that that I thought were serious until I had a serious one. Then about 20 women later I found THE one, and after each one I found myself wondering if that was my last chance. Women can really screw up your common sense, like a virus.

Looking back, it was all worth it. All that crap make me appreciate my wife that much more.

Don't waste your time on women that are not interested, they distract you from the ones that ARE. They even make you believe that there are no other options. Dont get caught in that trap.
Dont take life too seriously because you will never get out of it alive - Bugs Bunny
 
YeahitsK
Posts: 492
Joined: Sat Feb 04, 2006 1:56 pm

RE: If A Girl Says, "you Had Your Shot"

Sat Apr 22, 2006 5:27 am

Looking at this as an outsider, I think you should look in the mirror and figure out if you have really changed. That's the first thing you need to know. If you haven't and that was what she didn't like about you and the relationship, you've gotta accept that and move on. If you have changed, expressed your feelings to her, and she still doesn't care (after knowing you for 6 years  Wow! ) than this is a person you don't want to continue a relationship with. I am not saying she is a bad person for feeling this way and you shouldn't either. Nor will I agree with people here who are suggesting she has a huge ego- this wasn't a girl you met in a club some night. You knew her for 6 years and both invested a lot in this relationship, and if she reached this decision (which was probably very hard for her) you should respect it and walk away now. Otherwise friend you are setting yourself up for much more heartbreak down the road.
You've changed and become a better person, and have hopefully learned some things in this relationship you can apply to your next one. Focus on that.

Quoting Lehpron (Reply 46):

Someone else, there's a concept. We met 6 years ago and "it" technically ended a year ago, whatever we had be it nothing in the end...

But see, ya'll actually believe there would be someone else, I could consider that as butterfly effect. What if you didn't believe?

I've felt this way after every breakup I ever had. I finally found the right one and you can too. Start believing in yourself first and the women will follow. Women don't like a man that has no confidence. I believe you'll find another.
Let's play some Pitch...

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Jake87, L410Turbolet, mmo, tommy1808 and 28 guests