NZCH
Topic Author
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What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 4:17 pm

im a normal 15 yr old teen. recently a girl that i knew from primay school asked me for my number. so i gave her my number. And we started seeing each other just as friends, things were going really well, we were going for walks, talking about stuff, she was really interested in me or so i thought. Then all of a sudden she started ignoring me and went off me. i need some advce on what to do. should i just ignor her and hope that she will want me back or keep persisting at her? i really do like her but i dont no what to do.


Regards

NZCH
Airlines flown: BA,BD,NZ,SQ,FR,ZB,EK,JQ
 
stlgph
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 4:57 pm

Lucky for you that STLGPH love doctor is in the house and is here for you.

Granted you are 15 and thus will deter me from using some scenarios (and choice language) to completely explain everything to you, but granted, if you put some real long thought into it, you'll figure it out on one of those long walks you are now taking by yourself.

However, young Josh Hatton, there *IS* something I can explain to you and that is the concept of "Fresh meat."

How many times have you gone to the grocery store with your mom and dad and they are there...skirming up and down the aisles buying this and that (perhaps extra heavy on the canned goods if you happen to be episcopalian) and then you all come to the meat counter and you notice your mom and dad paying extra bit of attention to the meat that is on display. They observe it, they look at it, they pick it up, check it out, perhaps poke at it through the plastic lining that covers it, and maybe they even smell it. They tilt it here and there in the light to make sure they can see as many nook and crannies as possible.

What they are doing is simply indulging themselves in having "the freshest meat" as possible.

Why?

The freshest meat is the choice meat. No one ever eats bad meat. You get stuck with bad meat you get ill...sometimes violently ill to the point where you wish you were dead (stop real quick right now and compare this bad meat scenario to a potential divorce situation).

Typically the best meat is the one that is chosen, taken home, and then enjoyed over a great meal. If there is good quality there, then often times your parents will return to the store and try to select the same name brand because it has proven to have fruitful results for them.

So, therefore, if you have deemed yourself of being good company, the girl will keep coming back to you for more and more "together time."

However, there is a scenario that can drastically change this time of glee.

Notice, importantly, how I refrained from saying that the freshest meat is the *BEST* meat. Sometimes that simply is not true. Here in the United States of Theocracy, along a meat counter there are often several selections of filet, which is a certain cut of meat. You have your basic filet, then next to it for a higher price there is a Grade A choice of filet, and then next to that for an even higher price is the U.S. Prime choice of filet.

It could be, with no offense to you at this time, that you just happen to be that basic cut of filet. You had your enjoyable moments and qualities about you, but however, the girl decided to ante up the price to be paid for perhaps the Grade A choice because she enjoyed that quality a lot more. Perhaps sooner than not, she'll move up to the U.S. Prime choice of filet leaving you behind in the dusk.

But do not fret, my fair weathered friend, for I am going to offer you some *REAL* important advice here. The problem with teenage boys is that they are all about *right now.* Do not take what I have told you and think that you are unworthy of someone's attention. Obviously you have something to offer or she wouldn't have bothered in the first place. What you need to do now is soul search (again, on those long walks you are now taking alone) and figure out what it is you can offer to people. Then work on it.

Prep yourself. Groom yourself. Educate yourself. Culture yourself.

Do not prepare for tomorrow...prepare for the future. Do not try to be the ultra cool or super uber hot 16 or 17 year old teenage male. You will have nothing to offer the world except perhaps your looks which, will more than likely, fade away when you turn 19 and become an alcoholic. Instead, what you should do, is work and prep your own self...physically...mentally..and emotionally...into being one hell of a catch when you are say...20 or 21....

"Yes, the waiting is the hardest part," said Uncle Tom Petty, but when you find yourself the happiest you've ever been in your young adult hood years, because of what you stop and took time to do for yourself during your growing & pain years, you'll feel a whole lot better about everything you've yet to grow through.

And when all those girls from before that didn't call you come crawling up to you then, if you need any help on how to deliver "Bitch, please" with a bunch of pizazz and a *snap* *snap* to go with, I'll be more than happy to send you my instructional video for 10% off.


G

P.S. - Use protection
if assumptions could fly, airliners.net would be the world's busiest airport
 
Twistedwhisper
Posts: 689
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:13 pm

Women... you can't live with them and you can't live without them.

I'm twice your age, and I still haven't REALLY figured them out.
There can be a number of reasons for her behaviour... She might have been in love and now she's not... she might think that you should have to work for it.

It could have been something you've said or done, but it's more likley that she is like every other teenage girl (and some of the guys too) on this planet; She's indecisive.

Try and talk to her, or do something for her. Girls in general love the fact that guys get off their arse and actually do something. One example could be that you write her a poem. Don't spend all your money on her though. Buying stuff is appriciated for ten minutes, but writing a poem or picking her some flowers generally lasts longer.
Every now and them I bumb in to my ex (we broke up before you were born to put things in perspective) and everytime she's talking about the poem I gave her. And it wasn't even a good one.

Problems are best solved through communication, and we communicate mainly with our mouth and ears... So talk to her, and listen to her. And think, very openly, about what she's saying, don't jump into conclusions... girls have a way of not being blunt. And don't mention sex, for the love of God, do not. If things works out, you will get there without having to talk about it.

Good luck mate.
Read between the lines.
 
ANCFlyer
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:25 pm

Quoting STLGph (Reply 1):
Lucky for you that STLGPH love doctor is in the house and is here for you.

 rotfl 

Quoting TWISTEDWHISPER (Reply 2):
Women... you can't live with them and you can't live without them.

I'm twice your age, and I still haven't REALLY figured them out.

I'm three times your age, damn near but not dead, and I don't have 'em figured out either . . . .

That said: You're 15.

Man, don't sweat it - so many women, so little time . . . .
FOR THOSE THAT FOUGHT FOR IT, FREEDOM HAS A FLAVOR THE PROTECTED WILL NEVER KNOW OR UNDERSTAND
 
Twistedwhisper
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:31 pm

And here's STL Gph educating our young friend in... yes, what?
Read between the lines.
 
stlgph
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:40 pm

Quoting TWISTEDWHISPER (Reply 4):
And here's STL Gph educating our young friend in... yes, what?

That. Is. Classic.

 crackup 
if assumptions could fly, airliners.net would be the world's busiest airport
 
NZCH
Topic Author
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:50 pm

i do have a job, and i did buy her stuff like phone cards chocolate. And at first she was really in to me as a friend. but she just went off me all of a sudden. by da way we are both POMS and live in new zealand. im just feel bad about it. i feel helpless in a way. i dont want 2 be some swank arse 16 17 yr old guy who flirts with chicks and try to look cool. i just want be normal in a way. lol

NZCH
Airlines flown: BA,BD,NZ,SQ,FR,ZB,EK,JQ
 
stlgph
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 5:53 pm

You got 'dumped.'

You are now normal.

Congratulations.
if assumptions could fly, airliners.net would be the world's busiest airport
 
NZCH
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 6:01 pm

Quoting STLGph (Reply 7):

LOL
jee thanx. no i didnt get dumped as we wern't going out. we just friends and liked it that way.
Airlines flown: BA,BD,NZ,SQ,FR,ZB,EK,JQ
 
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aerorobnz
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 6:09 pm

Quoting STLGph (Reply 1):
Prep yourself. Groom yourself. Educate yourself. Culture yourself.

I agree, but don't do that for anyone except yourself. There's nothing quite as empowering as being in demand, without feeling compelled to do anything about it. If you are able to call the shots as and when you please, then you'll never have to post on A.net about your lovelife again because you won't have any problems.


If nothing else just fool around with her best friend. Just cos that is always good for a laugh, and once you leave school you'll never have the excuse again.
Flown to 128 Airports in 48 Countries on 81 Operators. Visited 56 Countries and counting. Wanderlust is like Syphilis, once you have the itch it's too late for treatment.
 
rolfen
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 6:10 pm

Girls at that age are real hard. Going for walks and talking a lot is the right way to start a relationship, but some girls dont know that, or maybe dont want a serious relationship at 15.

Whatever you do, know that rejection is a part of life, if she doesnt want to see you again, then it's not really your fault, this happens. Learn from it and move on. It's good that you started early. Dont let what happens with this girl get you down.

Now about what you should do... I dont know, it depends. You say that she asked for your number. Is she also the one to call you usually? If she's doing all the work then you might have to call her back and take some initiative yourself and chase her a bit. But if YOU're the one to always call her and now she's not answering anymore, she might not want to see you and there's not much you can do.

TWISTEDWHISPER gave some good advice: dont jump to conclusions, be attentive about how she feels about you, see what makes her happy and try to make her feel better about you. Often your love can blind you and make you think that she feels the same.

Good luck, and dont ignore any other girls because of this one, you'll regret it later. Look around, there might be other girls also interested in you.
rolf
 
CMHSRQ
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 6:16 pm

Quoting STLGph (Reply 1):

This is great, loved the post, does it come in a flow chart?

NCZH, ignore her, play hard to get but still be nice. People always like a challenge. If it works cool, if not your 15 and just starting the best years of your life. Once you get married it's all down hill.  Smile
The voice of moderation
 
stlgph
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 6:19 pm

Quoting CMHSRQ (Reply 11):
This is great, loved the post, does it come in a flow chart?

Ooh, I'll have to make that happen! It'll be easier to read than those Bureau of Labor Statistics thingies you're tossing in that other post ;p

And while I write this, I suddenly got the idea to perhaps film an instructional video outlining what I wrote above. If I could now just get a grocery store manager to allow me to film inside the store....
if assumptions could fly, airliners.net would be the world's busiest airport
 
NZCH
Topic Author
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 6:20 pm

Put it this way i've admitted defeat from her for now. all my mates are like theres no point and there probably right in a way. im quite popular wit da girls but always turn them down. until now when this 1 girl seemed out of the ordinary, or so i thought. we were going so well, 2 well maybe. to tell the truth i av not been my self since i started to get know her, and now she's always on my mind even though we dont see each other. i just have to find a way of stop thinking about her.

NZCH
Airlines flown: BA,BD,NZ,SQ,FR,ZB,EK,JQ
 
joffie
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 6:23 pm

What a bitch

If she just ignore's you for no reason tell her where to go!!

Anyway, you shouldn't worrey. You are only 15.
 
NZCH
Topic Author
Posts: 92
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2006 6:30 am

RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 6:24 pm

Quoting CMHSRQ (Reply 11):
NCZH, ignore her, play hard to get but still be nice. People always like a challenge. If it works cool, if not your 15 and just starting the best years of your life. Once you get married it's all down hill.

Im not plannig on getting married any time soon. thanx for the advice. And yes some of my best yrs in life ar about to hit me. i have just got my resrticted driving licence. thats a start. now i can go where ever i want. LOL

NZCH
Airlines flown: BA,BD,NZ,SQ,FR,ZB,EK,JQ
 
stlgph
Posts: 9476
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 4:19 pm

RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 6:25 pm

Quoting NZCH (Reply 13):
Put it this way i've admitted defeat from her for now.

*AHEM*

May I remind you....

Quoting STLGph (Reply 1):
And when all those girls from before that didn't call you come crawling up to you then, if you need any help on how to deliver "Bitch, please" with a bunch of pizazz and a *snap* *snap* to go with, I'll be more than happy to send you my instructional video for 10% off.

Continuing...

Quoting NZCH (Reply 13):
im quite popular wit da girls but always turn them down.

Again...use protection!!!

Quoting NZCH (Reply 13):
until now when this 1 girl seemed out of the ordinary, or so i thought.

I could say so much...but I'll just sum it up with letting you know that your first 5...maybe 6 marriages will start off with this same feeling. Sooner or later, you'll come to figuring out this whole "feeling" thing.

Quoting NZCH (Reply 13):
we were going so well, 2 well maybe.

I'm sure....until you started texting her using shortcuts like this.

Quoting NZCH (Reply 13):
to tell the truth i av not been my self since i started to get know her, and now she's always on my mind even though we dont see each other.

This is how you will feel after your first 5 or 6 divorces.

Quoting NZCH (Reply 13):
i just have to find a way of stop thinking about her.

http://personals.yahoo.com


Remember what I told you! Meat market!! They want the Prime for the lowest hassle!!!
if assumptions could fly, airliners.net would be the world's busiest airport
 
CMHSRQ
Posts: 822
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 6:26 pm

Quoting STLGph (Reply 12):
Ooh, I'll have to make that happen! It'll be easier to read than those Bureau of Labor Statistics thingies you're tossing in that other post ;p

And while I write this, I suddenly got the idea to perhaps film an instructional video outlining what I wrote above. If I could now just get a grocery store manager to allow me to film inside the store....

no kidding on the labor stuff, and what do you need permission for ? be like Nike and just do it.
The voice of moderation
 
NZCH
Topic Author
Posts: 92
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 6:26 pm

Quoting Joffie (Reply 14):
What a bitch

If she just ignore's you for no reason tell her where to go!!

Anyway, you shouldn't worrey. You are only 15.

Ur probably right.

NZCH
Airlines flown: BA,BD,NZ,SQ,FR,ZB,EK,JQ
 
stlgph
Posts: 9476
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 4:19 pm

RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 6:29 pm

Quoting CMHSRQ (Reply 17):
and what do you need permission for ?

private business. would have to have permission to film on the property.

Quoting NZCH (Reply 15):
i have just got my resrticted driving licence. thats a start. now i can go where ever i want.

Stalking is tempting, but I would advise against it until you view yet another one of my instructional videos. I'll sell this one for 15% off!

Quoting NZCH (Reply 18):
Ur probably right.

Remember.....Early 20's....early 20's....
if assumptions could fly, airliners.net would be the world's busiest airport
 
NZCH
Topic Author
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 6:34 pm

Quoting STLGph (Reply 19):
Stalking is tempting, but I would advise against it until you view yet another one of my instructional videos. I'll sell this one for 15% off!

LOL. i'm not that desperet for her. thanx though.

NZCH
Airlines flown: BA,BD,NZ,SQ,FR,ZB,EK,JQ
 
rolfen
Posts: 1539
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:03 am

RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Bac

Wed Apr 19, 2006 6:46 pm

Quoting NZCH (Reply 13):
Put it this way i've admitted defeat from her for now. all my mates are like theres no point and there probably right in a way. im quite popular wit da girls but always turn them down. until now when this 1 girl seemed out of the ordinary, or so i thought. we were going so well, 2 well maybe. to tell the truth i av not been my self since i started to get know her, and now she's always on my mind even though we dont see each other. i just have to find a way of stop thinking about her.

NZCH

You can try to get her back... you loose nothing at calling her and chasing her aound a bit... just a bit, just call her a couple of times and try to have a date with her. If that doesnt work then give up or you might get hurt. And running after someone is not very efficient usually, just see how you turn down all the girls that run after you.
And it's not a "defeat" to start with. Those things just happen. I think they happened to everyone around here.

You remind me of me when i was 18. I was in love with a girl who at the end turned me down. In the meantime I had turned down a lot of other hot girls. Dont! These girls wont be chasing you around all the time, and you might regret it later, like I did. Just do what other guys your age do. Youl have all your life for serious relationships.

One of the ways to forget her is to go out with another girl, by the way. Decide to move on, then spend some time with another girl who deserves your love.
You seem to be in love, and I think the trick is that when you're in love, you're "not yourself" like you say, and that is maybe what made the girl loose interest.

[Edited 2006-04-19 11:48:01]
rolf
 
saintsman
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 8:53 pm

Quoting NZCH (Reply 8):
we just friends and liked it that way

Bollocks!

No such thing as just friends. Don't tell me you didn't want to give her one.

Move on, its her loss. There is always someone better just around the corner waiting for you. Life's like that so get used to it.
 
scott2187
Posts: 303
Joined: Thu Feb 02, 2006 10:37 pm

RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:01 pm

Quoting NZCH (Reply 8):
we just friends and liked it that way.

if you liked it that way, then keep it that way.. just tell her you want to be friends and still hang out, she'll come around eventually.
“Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.”
 
cfalk
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 9:59 pm

If you love someone, set her free. If she doesn't come back, hunt her down and kill her.
The only thing you should feel when shooting a terrorist: Recoil.
 
Rj111
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 10:15 pm

She's testing you mate, act as if she's not ignoring you. If you ignore her she'll think you care too much and that she has power over you. Don't act desperate but don't let her know you're affected by it, imagine nothing at all has happend and you're still on level terms. Eventually she'll start reciprocating again.

Rj111
 
rolfen
Posts: 1539
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 11:42 pm

Quoting Cfalk (Reply 24):
If you love someone, set her free. If she doesn't come back, hunt her down and kill her.

I like the "hunt her down and kill her". Question is, how much do you wait before hunting her down?
rolf
 
Doona
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 11:44 pm

Quoting NZCH (Reply 8):
no i didnt get dumped as we wern't going out. we just friends and liked it that way.

But that's a pre-emptive dumping, that's worse...

Cheers
Mats
Sure, we're concerned for our lives. Just not as concerned as saving 9 bucks on a roundtrip to Ft. Myers.
 
scott2187
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Wed Apr 19, 2006 11:53 pm

Quoting Rolfen (Reply 26):
I like the "hunt her down and kill her". Question is, how much do you wait before hunting her down?

that is a good question.
“Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.”
 
NZCH
Topic Author
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Thu Apr 20, 2006 6:53 am

Quoting Saintsman (Reply 22):
No such thing as just friends. Don't tell me you didn't want to give her one.

I wouldn't of minded giving her one. I didn't want to rush things, I was just taking things one step at time.

NZCH
Airlines flown: BA,BD,NZ,SQ,FR,ZB,EK,JQ
 
aerobalance
Posts: 4310
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Thu Apr 20, 2006 6:59 am

Quoting NZCH (Thread starter):
i really do like her but i dont no what to do.

Tell her that once, then go away - do nothing else. Only time will tell if she comes back but don't let that deter you from seeing, and getting to know, other people.

Dr.T
"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
 
nkops
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Thu Apr 20, 2006 7:04 am

Quoting Rolfen (Reply 26):
I like the "hunt her down and kill her". Question is, how much do you wait before hunting her down?

10..... 15 minutes tops!!
GOOFY6
 
fumanchewd
Posts: 2878
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Fri Apr 21, 2006 7:21 pm

Let the little cock monkey go. She has some swinging left in her before she's done.
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
klm672
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RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Fri Apr 21, 2006 10:25 pm

I do have a similar problem, I hope you don't mind me posting it in here.
To keep it short, I had a good friend and we went to class together (walked together everyday to class) really got close, decided to go on a date, she said she wasnt ready for a relationship I said thats perfectly ok if we are just friends thats fine, lost contact for about a month i got a new job, now whenever i IM/email her she won't write back. Should I iqnore her, write her a letter saying IDK whats up with her but i still want to be her friend (kinda like i said before), or what is temping, to go off on her on how she's a bitch and all those fun words for just randomally ditching me?
 
rolfen
Posts: 1539
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:03 am

RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Bac

Fri Apr 21, 2006 11:10 pm

Dont you hate when you're in that ditch? It's like whatever you say she's not listening.

Ok now if you really love her, you can try to arrange to bump into her somewhere . It has to appear like a completely random encounter and she must not be thinking that you are interested in her. If you're (very?) lucky then she'll loosen up and you may be able to start it all over again from the beginning, as if you just met her... It never worked for me but it should work, theoretically.

[Edited 2006-04-21 16:15:03]
rolf
 
Nordair
Posts: 1080
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2005 1:36 am

RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Sat Apr 22, 2006 12:12 am

Quoting Joffie (Reply 14):
What a bitch

If she just ignore's you for no reason tell her where to go!!

Anyway, you shouldn't worrey. You are only 15.

Summed up best in 3 short sentences.
 checkmark   checkmark   checkmark 
"It is never legitimate to use the words of scripture to promote a loveless agenda." - Right Rev. Dr. Peter Short
 
Twistedwhisper
Posts: 689
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2003 11:52 pm

RE: What Should I Do Let Her Go Or Ask For Her Back?

Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:00 am

Quoting Fumanchewd (Reply 32):
little cock monkey

LMAO! You are seriously not well  Wink

Quoting KLM672 (Reply 33):

See, here's what puzzles me; Why agree to go on a date if you're not ready to engage in a relationship?
My guess is that it was the date that ruined your friendship. Some girls are like that. Some girls you can have as a friend, you can screw around and it changes nothing... other girls, well, if they think you've given them the wrong kinda look too soon, then it's all over.

Quoting Rolfen (Reply 34):
It never worked for me but it should work, theoretically.

Nice theory, but I am not sure... I don't believe there's such a thing as a "fresh start"...
Read between the lines.

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