UAL747
Topic Author
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How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 6:17 am

http://www.thedeathpsychic.com/


I die because:

Your next door neighbor beats you to death with a shovel.

 Smile

UAL
"Bangkok Tower, United 890 Heavy. Bangkok Tower, United 890 Heavy.....Okay, fine, we'll just turn 190 and Visual Our Way
 
gkirk
Posts: 23346
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 6:22 am

While having fun with fireworks, an M-80 blows up in your hand. You die from massive blood loss.
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
srbmod
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 6:29 am

While attending a horse show, you bend over to tie your shoe. Halfway though the brief process, you receive a deadly kick from a startled Clydesdale.
 
AsstChiefMark
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 6:38 am

While working as a prostitute, you acquire a deadly virus that kills you from the inside out over the period of several years.
Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Damned MSP...Red tail...Red tail
 
fumanchewd
Posts: 2878
Joined: Fri Jun 03, 2005 7:43 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 6:40 am

You are electrocuted while attempting to rewire some light fixtures in your home.

Errr.. I was going to change a ceiling fan/light panel in the morning. Maybe I'll buy some insulated boots.
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
BAxMAN
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 7:04 am

You are beaten to death by a disgruntled teammate with a bar of soap stuffed in a gym sock.

I suppose worse things can happen after bending over in the shower to pick up my teammate's soap.
I need to get laid
 
CPH-R
Posts: 6059
Joined: Thu May 03, 2001 5:19 pm

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 7:07 am

While grocery shopping, a can of soup falls from above your head and strikes you in the face. You sue the grocery store, and upon hearing that you've won a large cash settlement, you suffer a massive heart attack and fall to the ground dead.

.. eh, that's karma for you  Wink
 
aviationmaster
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 7:17 am

This is interesting:

"Engine failure causes an airplane you're on to fall rapidly and crash into the ocean, killing everyone on board. "

Guess I picked the right hobby Big grin
 
DAL767400ER
Posts: 5084
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 7:20 am

"While in a hardware store, a strange man picks up an axe and attacks you with it, dismembering your body."
Yeah right  Silly .

[Edited 2006-05-01 00:20:49]
 
ilikeyyc
Posts: 1326
Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2003 8:09 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 7:21 am

An amputee overhears you as you snicker and make jokes about him. Enraged, he beats you to death with his prosthetic leg.
Fighting Absurdity with Absurdity!
 
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AirPacific747
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 7:23 am

During a routine haircut, your stylist violently sneezes and inadvertently stabs you in the neck with a pair of scissors, severing your carotid artery.

and here you can see when you'll die:

http://www.deathclock.com/



[Edited 2006-05-01 00:25:00]
 
YYZflyer
Posts: 3516
Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2006 9:54 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 7:26 am

During a routine haircut, your stylist violently sneezes and inadvertently stabs you in the neck with a pair of scissors, severing your carotid artery.
Avoid hangovers, stay drunk.
 
thepilot
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 7:36 am

Wind shear causes an airplane you're on to fall rapidly and crash into the ocean, killing everyone on board.

I'm a pilot to.  scared 
From YVR
 
ilikeyyc
Posts: 1326
Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2003 8:09 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 7:36 am

From the death clock link above:

Your personal day of death is:
Thursday, December 7, 2056

I'm in no hurry to get there. But now I'm curious, in 2056 won't we be able to regenerate limbs with human cloning technology? So in theory we won't have people with artificial limbs to be used as death clubs..... Maybe I will get to live a little longer?
Fighting Absurdity with Absurdity!
 
bushpilot
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 7:37 am

While walking up an escalator, your shoelace gets caught in the moving stairs, and you are dragged all the way to the top. You die from internal injuries.

Funny thing was as a young kid I did get my shoelace stuck in a shopping mall escalator. My dad thinking quickly took the shoe off, apparently it got jammed in there pretty good and they had to shut down the stairs to get it loose. I was 3 or 4 years old.
 
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AirPacific747
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 7:42 am

I will die on October 24, 2060

1,719,292,821 seconds left lol
 
IBERIA747
Posts: 1648
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 8:10 am

"While on a boat, you slip and fall overboard. As you struggle to climb back in, your hands are chopped off by the motor's blades. You sink beneath the water as you bleed profusely. "

Interesting stuff...
¡¡VIVA ESPAÑA!!
 
carmenlu15
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 8:10 am

Quoting Aviationmaster (Reply 7):
Guess I picked the right hobby

Tell me about it... Big grin

While sunbathing in your yard, a commercial airliner accidentally unloads its waste tank. You are impaled by several spears of frozen urine which fall from 30,000 feet above you.
Don't expect to see me around that much (if at all) -- the contact link should still work, though.
 
aviationmaster
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Joined: Thu Oct 28, 1999 3:47 pm

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 8:16 am

Quoting Carmenlu15 (Reply 17):
While sunbathing in your yard, a commercial airliner accidentally unloads its waste tank. You are impaled by several spears of frozen urine which fall from 30,000 feet above you.

 faint   laughing 

At least the chances of that happening are close to zero Big grin
 
bill142
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 8:23 am

After haggling over the price of meat, an enraged butcher whips you to death with a large beef tongue.

Interesting.
 
ABfemme
Posts: 1189
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 8:29 am

I die being dragged up an escalator - how nice!!
Women do not have hot flushes, they have power surges
 
futureualpilot
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 8:38 am

While hanging Christmas lights, you slip on an icy patch and fall from your roof, plummeting to the concrete below. You break your neck and die instantly.


I am supposed to die on September 27, 2083...I'll be 96...why I'm hanging X-mas lights in September, I don't know but I suppose I'll be happy to be that mobile at that age!
Life is better when you surf.
 
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AirPacific747
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 8:46 am

Quoting FutureUALpilot (Reply 21):

I am supposed to die on September 27, 2083...I'll be 96...why I'm hanging X-mas lights in September, I don't know but I suppose I'll be happy to be that mobile at that age!

haha nice!! Big grin
 
Boeing744
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 8:49 am

You put an excessive amount of lighter fluid onto a charcoal grill. Upon lighting the grill, you are engulfed in flames and are burned alive.
 
MrChips
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 8:59 am

Quote:
While attempting to remove a slice of burnt toast from your toaster using a metal fork, you're electrocuted.

Nice - I'm not THAT stupid...

Everyone knows that you use PLASTIC forks to retrieve stuck toast.
Time...to un-pimp...ze auto!
 
AA777
Posts: 2358
Joined: Thu May 20, 1999 7:07 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 9:27 am

While leaving a Chinese restaurant, you suffer fatal cardiac arrest and collapse into a pond of frantic Koi.

Yep. Sounds like me. I love Chinese food.

-AA777
 
EWS
Posts: 3369
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 6:41 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 9:31 am

A homeless man hits you with a fast-moving shopping cart, breaking your neck

Yikes.. suppose its better then being beaten to a pulp by skidmarks and ANCFlyer.. Big grin

Lew
 
yegmaster
Posts: 932
Joined: Sun Dec 26, 2004 6:58 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 10:14 am

I'm gonna get gored by a bull in Spain.
Should be a fun vacation.
Cheers.
 
lentigomaligna
Posts: 438
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 10:21 am

While crossing what is typically a very quiet street, you're struck by a speeding motorist and are killed instantly.

Amazing how many of us die by murders or freak accidents, eh?
 
Daleaholic
Posts: 2653
Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2005 9:38 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 10:24 am

Eek  Wink

A suicidal airline pilot intentionally crashes the plane you're on, killing you (and everyone else on board).

Kinda coincidental I found the site on here eh?
Religion is an illusion of childhood... Outgrown under proper education.
 
Duff44
Posts: 1561
Joined: Fri Apr 21, 2006 11:48 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 10:26 am

"While in a hotel pool, you are trapped underwater by the powerful suction of the pool's pump, and you drown to death."

I don't swim (I can but choose not to)... so that's a full load...
I'll rassle ya for a bowl of bacon!
 
satx
Posts: 2771
Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2005 7:26 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 10:28 am

A crazed man in a hardware store fatally attacks you with a garden hoe.

I guess the other guy survives. I'd be pissed if I can't take him down in the process. Now I'll be sure to be on guard while buying hardware, especially in the hoe section.

Quoting MrChips (Reply 24):
Everyone knows that you use PLASTIC forks to retrieve stuck toast.

I have been using metal cutlery for decades. So far, so good.  Big grin
Open Season on Consumer Protections is Just Around the Corner...
 
beefer
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 1:23 pm

"While you're in bed with another woman, your wife comes home and catches you in the act. In a fit of rage, she stabs you to death violently with a pair of scissors."

.............................

Good grief!!! But then this must actually happen at least a couple of times each day around the world.
 
UAalltheway
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Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 8:31 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 1:28 pm

After suffering with a severe headache for days, the aneurysm in your brain bursts, killing you instantly.

Yayers.
 
joffie
Posts: 814
Joined: Sun Mar 26, 2006 5:45 pm

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 1:48 pm

You develop an extreme case of intestinal worms after eating at a "new" sushi restaurant. Your body is unable to fight off the infection, and you die from abdominal rupture.


Damn, I like Sushi Big grin
 
NightHawk117
Posts: 174
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 12:07 pm

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 1:51 pm

Pat Robertson smites you with his bible after he hears you say the word "damn". You die of a concussion.
 devil 
Team Stealth...when it absolutely, positively HAS to be taken out overnight!
 
studentflyer
Posts: 667
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2004 9:02 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 3:52 pm

As the unfortunate target of a serial killer, your face is skinned using steel wool and subsequently doused with bleach. While you're still alive, your face is then doused with ammonia. The bleach and ammonia chemically react and melt the remaining flesh from your skull.

hmm... funny :P
 
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LTU932
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 4:26 pm

While attempting to remove a slice of burnt toast from your toaster using a metal fork, you're electrocuted.

Erm, I don't even have a functioning toaster at home right now, so...

Quoting Carmenlu15 (Reply 17):
While sunbathing in your yard, a commercial airliner accidentally unloads its waste tank. You are impaled by several spears of frozen urine which fall from 30,000 feet above you.

Damn, I feel for you, Carmen. That's nasty. I hope you don't live under a very busy airway.  Confused But being the sceptic that I am, I'm sure something like that won't ever happen to you or anyone.  Wink
 
texan
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 8:33 pm

While you're walking down a busy street, a suicidal maniac jumps from an apartment window thirty stories above you. Unfortunately for both of you, the maniac lands directly on you. You're crushed to death, and the suicidal maniac walks away unscathed.

Wednesday, January 2, 2075

Wow, another nearly 70 years, which would put me at 93. 94 if I held out for two more weeks.

Texan
"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library."
 
LHMark
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 8:35 pm

"While driving, you attempt to beat a freight train and drive around the gates. Thanks to a miscalculation on your part, the train collides with your car and crushes your body. Your car (and your lifeless body) continue to be pushed for several hundred feet until the train comes to a stop."

I guess it beats bone cancer.
"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
 
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EGTESkyGod
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 9:01 pm

"You die from electrocution after urinating on an electric fence. Unlucky."
I came, I saw, I Concorde! RIP Michael Jackson
 
Jaspike
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 9:11 pm

"You commit suicide after being diagnosed HIV positive."

 Wow! Not good.

Tom
 
We're Nuts
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RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 9:14 pm

A tormented street mime beats you to death with an "unimaginary" cane.

I'll give the little freeloader a good fight.
Dear moderators: No.
 
Tom12
Posts: 1050
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2005 7:29 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 9:16 pm

Prior to surgery, you are accidentally given a lethal dose of anesthesia and never wake up.

Great! lol

Tom
"Per noctem volamus" - Royal Air Force Bomber Squadron IX
 
malb777
Posts: 443
Joined: Thu Jul 08, 2004 5:53 pm

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 9:38 pm

A deranged homeless man climbs over the dividing wall of a department store dressing room and strangles you to death with a clothes hanger.


Gee I hope he is cute and we " do it first"
thank god i was not born a bird. this type of flying is much better
 
Doona
Posts: 3382
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 9:43 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 10:05 pm

While sleeping, you're tied to your bed by your girlfriend and peeled to death using a vegetable peeler.

This is pretty bad, being killed by my girlfriend, since I'm gay...

Cheers
Mats
Sure, we're concerned for our lives. Just not as concerned as saving 9 bucks on a roundtrip to Ft. Myers.
 
KPDX
Posts: 2373
Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2005 10:04 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 11:13 pm

In a case of mistaken identity, you are shot to death by a drug dealer.
 rotfl 

KPDX  Smile
View my aviation videos on Youtube by searching for zildjiandrummr12
 
alphafloor
Posts: 1265
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 12:36 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 11:28 pm

'You are mauled to death by a rabid pitbull.'

Man... !
Whatever
 
CanadianNorth
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Joined: Sat Aug 24, 2002 11:41 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 11:32 pm

"While driving, you impatiently tailgate a slow-moving semi. Without warning, the semi slams onto its brakes, and you slam into the back of it. A second semi, which happens to be impatiently tailgating you, slams into the back of you, crushing you between the two semis."

Too bad I'm the type that a) respects the semi drivers and the fact that with those kind of loads they can't and probably shouldn't do the speed limit all the time; and b)leaves my 3 seconds and waits for a straight strech to pass...



CanadianNorth
What could possibly go wrong?
 
fbgdavidson
Posts: 3563
Joined: Thu Oct 14, 2004 6:25 am

RE: How Will You Die? Death Psychic Tells All

Mon May 01, 2006 11:39 pm

Anyone else think the guy who wrote these is an aviation fan with a fetish for the homeless? Seems to have way above the average quota for these!

Quoting Doona (Reply 45):
This is pretty bad, being killed by my girlfriend, since I'm gay...



Quoting We're Nuts (Reply 42):
A tormented street mime beats you to death with an "unimaginary" cane.

 rotfl 

Quoting EGTESkyGod (Reply 40):
"You die from electrocution after urinating on an electric fence. Unlucky."

I've done this (after testing it wasn't a strong current first with a piece of grass) and you just feel the odd pulse coming back through the pee. The odd things 13yr olds do....
"My first job was selling doors, door to door, that's a tough job innit" - Bill Bailey

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