kmh1956
Posts: 2854
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2005 4:08 am

Friday Wisdom From Kelly

Fri May 05, 2006 9:24 pm

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a
garage makes you a car.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried
before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of cheques.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist
change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks
before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake
when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy fridge.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. It's not the jeans that make your bum look fat.
26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not
achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be
"meetings".
27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.
29. You should not confuse your career with your life.
30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
31. Never lick a steak knife.
32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
reason why we put the clocks back.
34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests
that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging
from her at that moment.
35. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a
big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
36. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender,
religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside,
we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
37. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
person.
38. Your friends love you anyway.
39. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built
the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
 
MYT332
Posts: 7283
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2003 7:31 pm

RE: Friday Wisdom From Kelly

Fri May 05, 2006 10:33 pm

Quoting Kmh1956 (Thread starter):
27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

Tell that to the folks over in Aviation Hobby.
One Life, Live it.
 
carmenlu15
Posts: 4517
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:24 am

RE: Friday Wisdom From Kelly

Sat May 06, 2006 12:09 am

Nice list, thanks for sharing!

Quoting Kmh1956 (Thread starter):
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

 bigthumbsup 
Don't expect to see me around that much (if at all) -- the contact link should still work, though.
 
DrDeke
Posts: 805
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2005 7:13 am

RE: Friday Wisdom From Kelly

Sat May 06, 2006 4:22 am

Quoting Kmh1956 (Thread starter):
27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

Yes, yes there is. Fortunately I never see this line. I crossed it on the mental illness side and never came back  Wink.

-DrDeke
If you don't want it known, don't say it on a phone.

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