Jaws707
Topic Author
Posts: 667
Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2001 10:45 am

Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:12 pm

So there is this girl that I became friends with a couple of months ago. Our parents are friends and they introduced us, and we hit it off pretty well. We talk on the phone about weekly and its usually a nice relaxed conversation, but I can't tell if she is at all interested in me besides being friends. We went out on a date where we saw a movie then had a drink about a month ago. This last weekend it was her friends Bday so I went out with the group and again it was fun. She bought me two drinks and didn't let me buy her any, so I thought that was kind of weird. Talking to her friend, she said "I've heard a lot about you, but wouldn't go into specifics." I think she is shy and kind of a homebody as I frequently call her up to hang out on the weekends, but she stays in a lot or just visits her friends. Outside of asking her out on a real date, does anyone have any suggestions on how I can gauge her interest in me? We have talked about some classic movies she hasn't seen that I have on DVD, so I am thinking about calling her up and kind of inviting myself over to watch one of these? Would you recommend this approach?
 
Newark777
Posts: 8284
Joined: Thu Dec 02, 2004 6:23 am

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:16 pm

Quoting Jaws707 (Thread starter):
Outside of asking her out on a real date

Why not?

Quoting Jaws707 (Thread starter):
so I am thinking about calling her up and kind of inviting myself over to watch one of these? Would you recommend this approach?

If you want to, just do it. You seem as though you are very nervous about asking her to even hang out.

Harry
Why grab a Heine when you can grab a Busch?
 
TedTAce
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:22 pm

Quoting Jaws707 (Thread starter):
We have talked about some classic movies she hasn't seen that I have on DVD, so I am thinking about calling her up and kind of inviting myself over to watch one of these? Would you recommend this approach?

ABSOLUTELY!!!! Just keep playing it cool; make sure you compliment her on her appearence when you see her. Make sure you take every chance you can to compliment her.
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GQfluffy
Posts: 3072
Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2005 1:25 pm

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:22 pm

The typical cliche answer; Just go with it and be yourself, if it's meant to happen, it will happen...

Honestly, it will if it's supposed to. Just let it go. If she's a home body, call her up, ask if she wants to do a movie night or something, and maybe bring something with you. Dessert, flowers, ecetera ecetera. If nothing happens from it...well...I'm not saying you're going to get laid, so don't count on it, but like no hug or a quick peck on the cheek when you leave, or if she doesn't seemed interested in seeing you again, you might have an answer. Good luck you heartbreaker... Big grin
This isn't where I parked my car...
 
CastleIsland
Posts: 3212
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:28 pm

Sometimes the hardest question you can try to answer is: "Is this something more than friendship?"

One way of looking at this is: are you comfortable with a woman who is obviously shy about her feelings? Are you basically the same way?

Or, "well, I can't deal with the uncertainty that I am seeing, I need someone who is more direct."

Keep in mind that if she is veiled in her interest toward you, this is possibly representative of how she IS (not necessarily a bad thing, just reality).

Personally, I prefer a blunt woman who speaks her mind. I do not like games. Now, I'm not necessarily saying that she is playing games, but uncertainty is based on one of two things: shyness/reluctance or manipulativeness.

You make the call. One is innocent, the other is not.
"People don't do what they believe in, they just do what's most convenient, then they repent." - Dylan
 
mirrodie
Posts: 6789
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 3:33 am

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:35 pm

Jaws, you got to sink your teeth into this gal and throw all caution to the wind!

What are you, Geroge McFly? c'mon?!

Take her out to a movie;

or rent a classic movie, invite yourserlf over and make her dinner.
If nothing happens after that, you have your answer.


If she lives with her parents and you want some alone time, go for a day out, pack a picnic basket, hit the zoo and then a park afterwards. Water, Wine, fruit, maybe grapes, maybe cheese....Personally the wine and fruit and maybe sandwiches is good, the cheese is overkill. Wine is always good for every occasion.

Now, I said zoo b/c I know that was what my wife liked when we dated. But what is she into? Nascar? The Cubs? Skydiving? Find out her likes and get creative. Amusement park perhaps? Gardens, Museums?

...you know, reading woman is great. It is a great game and there is so much sexual energy in there. Laugh a bit and get a good look at her eyes. Does she laugh like one of your friends or is she laughing and keeping her eyes on you? how is the eye contact? I felt I was always able to tell that way.

THinking back, I dunno, dude, if I had to wonder whether she was interested, I usually lost interest. And then suddenly their interest skyrocketed and they wanted me. And I am serious, not sure if anyone else can relate to that.

Any uncomfortable silences? Did you kiss her on your first date? And why not? How did you leave off? a handshake? cheek? hug? back seat romance?

There is hte funny approach,....next time you see her, laugh and over the course of a drink, tell her how you have a quarter inch killer and that if she is looking for bigger, she better look elsewhere. Then watch how she laughs. But can you pay off that kind of joke? How shy is shy? Can you talk to her about anything?

I remember one date over some club sandwiches at the diner and within an hour, we were talking about how much she loved giving and performing oral sex. And I responded with how much I loved receiving it. To this day, not sure how the discussion transcended to that within an hour but it really told me heaps of info about this gal. I mean, how did I read her and get the conversation there? No clue to this day.

There is always the direct approach, "Hey, is this something that could go somewhere?" Casual and yet non confrontational, rather than, "You dig me?"


Have fun. Remember, half the fun is the chase!
And after my many pearls of wisdom, I expect you to keep us posted. Wink


One last bit...she told her friends about you....could be a great thing or a bad thing.... but the fact that she invited you out with her friends bday and told them about you is a good thing.


have fun, take a shot on gaol and sink your jaws into the experience!

[Edited 2006-06-15 06:44:42]
Forum moderator 2001-2010; He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless st
 
mirrodie
Posts: 6789
Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 3:33 am

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:48 pm

Castle Island makes good points too.

doesnt seem like she is playing games. I think he and I have some experience to know what we like. Perhaps you don't yet and figuring it out with this gal might help to that end.

good point.

Ah, the thrill of the hunt. This is a great time for you two perhaps!
Forum moderator 2001-2010; He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless st
 
unattendedbag
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 1:55 pm

Quoting Jaws707 (Thread starter):
Would you recommend this approach?

Post a picture of this girl so that we may be able to better advise you.  Smile
Slower traffic, keep right
 
LOT767-300ER
Posts: 8526
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 2:02 pm

Quoting Jaws707 (Thread starter):
Would you recommend this approach?

Give me her mobile # and your name and Ill ask her, We both live in Chicago so I could mediate *coughs* your predicament.
 
nosedive
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 3:58 pm

Quoting LOT767-300ER (Reply 8):
Give me her mobile # and your name and Ill ask her, We both live in Chicago so I could mediate *coughs* your predicament.

signed,
FLAirport
 
emrecan
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 4:05 pm

If she is beautiful, don't miss her... Be strong and ask to date...

As A.net family; we trust you, you can do it !!!
 
LOT767-300ER
Posts: 8526
Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2001 12:57 pm

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 4:18 pm

Quoting Nosedive (Reply 9):
signed,
FLAirport

My KIA has an interior by BMW.

Signed,
ILS.
 
legoguy
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 4:23 pm

Good luck with this gal and go for it! Just dont mention your a member of Airliners.net. hehehe
Can you say 'Beer Can' without sounding like a Jamaican saying 'Bacon'?
 
ZKSUJ
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 6:46 pm

Good luck.

Learn from mistakes of others (myself included) and do things which you will not regret in the future. Timidness at times like these can make you look back later on and say things like 'if only...', or 'It could be this way...'
 
TedTAce
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 6:54 pm

PS. this thread is worthless w/out a picture of said object of affection
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HAWK21M
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 9:50 pm

Put it accross.Why you Stalling.
You fear being rejected.It does not matter.At least You'll know.And things could be Better too.
Go for it.
regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
legoguy
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Joined: Tue Jun 13, 2006 8:59 pm

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 9:52 pm

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 14):



Quoting HAWK21M (Reply 15):

picture picture picture picture picture. Can u hear the chant. we want picture  Smile
Can you say 'Beer Can' without sounding like a Jamaican saying 'Bacon'?
 
EasternSon
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 10:00 pm

Be the guy in the rated R movie. Short of being an ass, let her know you're interested. Take her to a romantic dinner, make lots of eye contact, tell her how pretty she is, ask her lots of questions about herself and shut up and listen to the answers. You'll know by the end of the night if she's interested in a relationship.

Let her know you're interested before it's too late. If you keep moping around and wondering, you'll definitely end up being friends, whether you want to or not.
"The only people for me are the mad ones...." Jack Kerouac
 
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Zkpilot
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 11:06 pm

Take her out somewhere nice... I dunno have a picnic or something... and just say that you'd like to be more than just a friend. If she says no well then you know and just be cool and be friends. If she says yes then problem solved buddy.
56 types. 38 countries. 24 airlines.
 
Jaws707
Topic Author
Posts: 667
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 15, 2006 11:44 pm

Thanks for the input everyone. The reason I have been a little more timid with her is because our parents are friends, and I guess I feel more pressure trying to impress everyone. She is a little quiet and that makes it more difficult. I am really social, but when I ask her "So what did you do this last week besides work?" and sometimes she says "nothing" or "not much" that makes it hard, but she is really nice, cute, smart, and we have simmilar values that makes her worth persuing.

I do not yet have a picture to put up, but with any luck her and I may hang out this weekend and maybe a picture shortly thereafter.
 
TheSorcerer
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Fri Jun 16, 2006 1:12 am

Quoting Jaws707 (Thread starter):
"I've heard a lot about you, but wouldn't go into specifics."

I don't consider this a sign of someone fancying me. Hear it all the time when i meet a friend's friend.

Dominic
ALITALIA,All Landings In Torino, All Luggage In Athens ;)
 
aerobalance
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Fri Jun 16, 2006 1:21 am

Quoting LOT767-300ER (Reply 11):
Quoting Nosedive (Reply 9):
signed,
FLAirport

My KIA has an interior by BMW.

Signed,
ILS.

My GM vehicle has an interior designed by Playskool!

Signed,
LOT767-300ER
"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
 
mirrodie
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Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 3:33 am

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Fri Jun 16, 2006 4:52 am

Quoting Jaws707 (Reply 19):
Thanks for the input everyone. The reason I have been a little more timid with her is because our parents are friends, and I guess I feel more pressure trying to impress everyone. She is a little quiet and that makes it more difficult. I am really social, but when I ask her "So what did you do this last week besides work?" and sometimes she says "nothing" or "not much" that makes it hard, but she is really nice, cute, smart, and we have simmilar values that makes her worth persuing.

I do not yet have a picture to put up, but with any luck her and I may hang out this weekend and maybe a picture shortly thereafter.

1. similar values are good but that you are extrovert and shes an introvert could make thisngs interesting.

2. For hte love of God, dont tell her you belong to this community of ex-cons!!

3. do not post a picture of her.

So what d you have in mind this weekend? one thing that some people are saying here is don't wait. either chase her and get your answer or be more direct. But hte longer you wait, the more friendship settles in.,
Forum moderator 2001-2010; He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless st
 
EasternSon
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Fri Jun 16, 2006 5:15 am

Yes, if there's one thing you can gather from this post it's that you should not wait.

To quote some dead guy who was probably drunk on an opiate:

"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may."

Or was it Urkel who said that?
"The only people for me are the mad ones...." Jack Kerouac
 
mirrodie
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Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2000 3:33 am

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 22, 2006 12:34 am

so Jaws, what happened man? After all this advice, we want to know that you are getting the job done  Smile
Forum moderator 2001-2010; He's a pedantic, pontificating, pretentious bastard, a belligerent old fart, a worthless st
 
David L
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 22, 2006 2:33 am

Quoting UnattendedBag (Reply 7):
Post a picture of this girl so that we may be able to better advise you.



Quoting TedTAce (Reply 14):
this thread is worthless w/out a picture of said object of affection



Quoting Legoguy (Reply 16):
picture picture picture picture picture. Can u hear the chant. we want picture



Quoting Jaws707 (Reply 19):
I do not yet have a picture to put up, but with any luck her and I may hang out this weekend and maybe a picture shortly thereafter.

Yeah, good advice. Before you do anything else, ask her if you can take her picture and you'll get back to her in a few days.  biggrin 
 
san747
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 22, 2006 12:30 pm

Quoting ZKSUJ (Reply 13):
Timidness at times like these can make you look back later on and say things like 'if only...', or 'It could be this way...'



Quoting EasternSon (Reply 17):
Let her know you're interested before it's too late. If you keep moping around and wondering, you'll definitely end up being friends, whether you want to or not.

VERY good advice, which I wish I had followed. I have lost oppurtunities with some great girls due to my timidness. It's all about self-confidence...
Scotty doesn't know...
 
GQfluffy
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 22, 2006 1:18 pm

Quoting San747 (Reply 26):
I have lost oppurtunities with some great girls due to my timidness.

Yup. I almost lost out on my current girlfriend cuz I didn't know what to do...luckily enough for me...one night she just came up to me, chewed my ass for being so hisitant...then kissed me....  hearts 
This isn't where I parked my car...
 
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HAWK21M
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 22, 2006 3:21 pm

Take the Initiative.Don't Loose an Opportunity.It might never come again.
regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
baylorairbear
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 22, 2006 3:25 pm

Quoting Jaws707 (Thread starter):
Trouble Reading This Girl...

That reminds me of the joke:

Why do girls have little bumps around their nipples?

BAB
I'm just skipping stones...
 
ZKSUJ
Posts: 6812
Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 5:15 pm

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 22, 2006 6:07 pm

So...
a) How did it go???

or

b) What are you going to do???

SUJ
 
TedTAce
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 22, 2006 6:59 pm

Quoting ZKSUJ (Reply 30):
a) How did it go???

It's been a week... Inquiring minds want to know!!!
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David L
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 22, 2006 7:31 pm

I hope she didn't break him.
 
rolfen
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 22, 2006 8:26 pm

Listen, I dont have the whole picture and god knows how wrong I can be with girls, but from my limited experience, it seems you're trying to build something serious with her. Relax and enjoy what you have instead of worriying about building something that you dont have.
It's good to try to read the signs, but dont overdo it because most of the times there's nothing to read anyway.
rolf
 
Jaws707
Topic Author
Posts: 667
Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2001 10:45 am

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Thu Jun 22, 2006 11:01 pm

Well last Saturday I called her up at about 5pm to see if she wanted to watch a movie, but she didnt answer and I ended up leaving a voicemail. I suggested I bring over some of the classics I have on dvd, that she has told me she wants to see. She ended up calling me back around 8pm, saying thanks for the offer, but she already had plans to grab dinner with her friend. Her friend was visiting from Milwaukee so I just told them to have fun and we'll hopefully hang out soon. This Sat her brother is getting married and because our familes are friends I am going to the wedding and I'll definately see her there. We'll talk some more, dance a little, so hopefully the evening goes well.
I want to thank everyone on here for the advice and the suggestions. I definately feel more relaxed asking her to go out and do stuff, so hopefully Sat goes well (I wouldn't mind if it went like it does for the guys in Wedding Crashers) and I'll update this afterwards.
 
rolfen
Posts: 1539
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:03 am

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Fri Jun 23, 2006 10:43 am

You didnt tell us yet how you feel about her and what you want from her.
rolf
 
ZKSUJ
Posts: 6812
Joined: Tue May 18, 2004 5:15 pm

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:17 pm

Good Luck for saturday.

SUJ  Smile
 
baylorairbear
Posts: 2841
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Fri Jun 23, 2006 5:24 pm

Quoting BaylorAirBear (Reply 29):

Why do girls have little bumps around their nipples?

So blind people can see their tits, too!

BAB rotfl  rotfl  rotfl  rotfl  rotfl I kill me!
I'm just skipping stones...
 
rolfen
Posts: 1539
Joined: Tue Jan 17, 2006 6:03 am

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Fri Jun 23, 2006 7:05 pm

Quoting BaylorAirBear (Reply 37):

Good one

[Edited 2006-06-23 12:06:28]
rolf
 
satx
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Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2005 7:26 am

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Fri Jun 23, 2006 7:30 pm

Hey, at least you tried. We get far too many "what should I do" threads and not nearly enough "you'll never believe this!" threads.
Open Season on Consumer Protections is Just Around the Corner...
 
Jaws707
Topic Author
Posts: 667
Joined: Mon Aug 06, 2001 10:45 am

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Sat Jul 08, 2006 1:23 am

So I thought I would come back online and update this thing again. We had a great time at the wedding, did some dancing and it was fun. On the 4th we went out to the Taste of Chicago together, and once again it was a fun time. I think she is really starting to feel comfortable hanging out with me, and the conversation has been good. I guess she likes going to the beach so I am going to suggest that the next time we hang out. The only concerns I have is that
1. I don't think there is as much eye contact as their should be by now
2. She never let's me pay for anything. I want to and I offer all the time, but she always wants to pay for everything or at least for herself.
 
GQfluffy
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Sat Jul 08, 2006 2:19 am

Quoting Jaws707 (Reply 40):
1. I don't think there is as much eye contact as their should be by now

Eh, don't read too much into it...

Quoting Jaws707 (Reply 40):
2. She never let's me pay for anything. I want to and I offer all the time, but she always wants to pay for everything or at least for herself.

Thats when you ignore her and just pay for it, or rip it out of her hand playful-like...duh...  Wink
This isn't where I parked my car...
 
EasternSon
Posts: 637
Joined: Fri Jun 02, 2006 10:07 pm

RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Sat Jul 08, 2006 4:23 am

Jawsy, while the beach is a great idea, a day date is not a date.

Make sure this girl knows you're interested. Make it romantic. Go to a nice restaurant, get a good bottle of wine. I'd stop short at flowers, but do all the other stuff that dudes do to woo chicks. Hold doors open, pull out chairs and definitely just grab the check and pay it at the end of the meal. Leave her no room for discussion about that one.

You'll know by the end of the night if she's willing to take the friendship to a more romantic level.

Yeah, don't read into the eye contact thing, if she's shy she may not look you in the eye a whole lot. Make the glances count though.
"The only people for me are the mad ones...." Jack Kerouac
 
ZKSUJ
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Sat Jul 08, 2006 7:10 pm

Quoting GQfluffy (Reply 41):
Thats when you ignore her and just pay for it, or rip it out of her hand playful-like...duh..

Yeap. Either that or she may just be an independsant girl. I know a few girls that still pay for most of their things (i.e food etc...) even when their respective boyfriends are around.

Just get to know her more and let her feel more comfortable around you. If something is to happen, eye contact etc etc... will come in due time. By the sounds of things just keep doing what you are doing now.

Good Luck

SUJ
 
ThatPlaneGuy
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Sat Jul 08, 2006 8:01 pm

Just a thought! Have you asked her about past Bfs? How was she treated by them? Might be a reason why she does not want you to pay for everything.

She sounds like a nice girl, and you appear to be a gentleman too.

Keep us posted, and don't post a picture. It's not necessary.

Good luck
Its about the airlines and the planes they fly
 
comorin
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Sat Jul 08, 2006 9:58 pm

Jaws, put yourself in her shoes:

1. She too realizes that parents are friends, so she has to tread carefully. If things dont work out, it will be very awkward.

2. She is paying because she is uncomfortable about taking anything from you without reciprocating - which she is not ready to do yet.

3. She is aware of your interest by now, no need to make it any clearer. Unless she starts feeling the same way, she may end up feeling crowded and not having a say of her own. It's possible that she may want to meet more people before she chooses.

She is acting quite rationally, which means that she is not yet emotionally driven. Until she is willing to do that, you should be careful of laying it on the line.

So what to do? I suggest alcohol and music! It does a good job of breaking down inhibitions, and you may get an insight into her real thoughts and feelings.

Strategy? Be friends until she warms to you and opens up. Don't push - yet.

Good luck!
 
jap
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Sat Jul 08, 2006 10:01 pm

Well, she hasn't told you to p*ss off yet, so that's a good sign... ask her on a date- if she says no, then you know she's not really interested in being more than friends... then, you got that clear.
Scandinavian chick with a scandinavian horse- oh yeah! :D
 
rolfen
Posts: 1539
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:32 am

Dont push dont push dont push
Listen to the Doors:
"Take it easy baby, take it nice and slow, dont moove too fast, eeeh you want your love to last"
rolf
 
aircraft
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RE: Trouble Reading This Girl...

Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:43 am

Quoting Jaws707 (Thread starter):
Trouble Reading This Girl...

I'll give you one important bit of advice about women. If you can't tell exactly what they're thinking, give 'em a good swift kick in the leg. The answer to what's on her mind will become apprent to you immediately. Trust me, it works.

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