IAH777
Topic Author
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I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 2:04 pm

So, I've taught my dog that chomping-down on something moving about under the covers is a fun game. A lesson that has backfired on many, many occasions. Most resulting in language that the clergy do not know and a few requiring a trip to the bathroom to inspect what feels like an amputated toe.

Earlier this evening, my dog and I were engaging in some fun under the covers...erm  blush ...I was under the blanket and she was chasing my hand as I grabbed her feet. At one point, as I was reaching for a paw, I punched her in the face with a closed fist, causing pain and a yelp. When I shot out from under the blanket in worry, she dove under my chin with her ears back as if to say, "Dad, I'm sorry for whatever I did to deserve a beating!" Needless to say, I felt terrible.

Just now, she made eleven complete circles on the couch before she finally laid down. Did I make my dog retarded?  confused   worried 
 
piercey
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RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 2:13 pm

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
I Punched My Dog In The Face.



Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
Very nice. (In small doses)

Way to show your sig....  duck 
Well I believe it all is coming to an end. Oh well, I guess we are gonna pretend.
 
CastleIsland
Posts: 3212
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RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 2:13 pm

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
Did I make my dog retarded?

No, she was born that way.

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
So, I've taught my dog that chomping-down on something moving about under the covers is a fun game

Good thing you can't make some things move under there anymore, or we'd have a "balls and all" post in the near future.

OK, I refuse to use the f-ing wink.
"People don't do what they believe in, they just do what's most convenient, then they repent." - Dylan
 
Halcyon
Posts: 1622
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2006 4:47 pm

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 2:18 pm

Dear Lord, he's a monster! Perhaps we can call this new fetish "petophilia?"  Big grin
 
looneytoon
Posts: 438
Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2005 9:33 am

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 2:19 pm

I dropped my miniature dachsie (he was stolen from my yard about 3 years ago...poor doggy) from chest level once. He landed on his head and then started biting at the air. Turns out that the drop dislocated his jaw and the biting action put it back into place. I think that was one of the last times I picked him up while he was a puppy.

Play with your dog and see if he acts strange. Then take him to a vet if he is.
LooneyToon
 
IAH777
Topic Author
Posts: 2810
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:55 pm

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 2:22 pm

Quoting CastleIsland (Reply 2):
No, she was born that way.

 relieved 

Quoting CastleIsland (Reply 2):
Good thing you can't make some things move under there anymore, or we'd have a "balls and all" post in the near future.

 grumpy 
 
HPLASOps
Posts: 1767
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RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 3:27 pm

Quoting Halcyon (Reply 3):
Perhaps we can call this new fetish "petophilia?"

There already is a term for it - beastiality.

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
Earlier this evening, my dog and I were engaging in some fun under the covers...erm

Not even funny to joke about man

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
At one point, as I was reaching for a paw, I punched her in the face with a closed fist, causing pain and a yelp. When I shot out from under the blanket in worry, she dove under my chin with her ears back as if to say, "Dad, I'm sorry for whatever I did to deserve a beating!"

And yet women wonder why we're more likely to show more concern for our pets than them.  devil 
"Just because I know how to get off a freeway doesn't mean I know how to get back on!" - Retard Joe
 
skidmarks
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RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 3:48 pm

And this is the man who would be King? What hope have we peasants if he smacks his bitch about?

:D

Andy  old 
Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
 
bill142
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RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 3:56 pm

I'm reporting you to the RSPCA
 
Halcyon
Posts: 1622
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2006 4:47 pm

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 4:10 pm

Quoting HPLASOps (Reply 6):
There already is a term for it - beastiality.

Haha, yes I know, but it does not too ofent involve beating the animal in question to the point of retardation.  bigthumbsup 
 
SK A340
Posts: 829
Joined: Thu Mar 09, 2000 2:44 am

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 6:30 pm

I accidentally kicked a dog in the head once. I was about to jump over a vacuum cleaner and kicked the dog under the mouth which made an awful sound when the teeth knocked together. I was afraid she had bitten herself in the tongue, but there wasn't any damage done.

/Micke
 
jap
Posts: 2196
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2005 7:25 am

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 8:35 pm

You EVIL, EVIL MAN!!!!  grumpy 



 biggrin  I'm sure she's fine- the "circling" before lying down is instinct behaviour- in the wild, she'd do this in a grass field to get a nice patch of stomped down grass that'd ensure her cover from predators AND a nice hidingplace, should a snack (ie. squirrel) come by  mischievous  Maybe you woke up the wolf inside her?  eek  Perhaps she didn't think the imaginary grass was stomped/leveled enough  Silly

Come to think of it, it IS really retarded... where the hell is the grass indoors and why does the dog think it STILL has to level the stupid grass when he/she is in the couch?! I've gotten stepped on many times by my dachsie because he went completely obsessive compulsive and HAD to do this...  irked 
Scandinavian chick with a scandinavian horse- oh yeah! :D
 
ANITIX87
Posts: 2952
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RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:10 pm

Quoting HPLASOps (Reply 6):
Not even funny to joke about man



Quoting HPLASOps (Reply 6):
There already is a term for it - beastiality.

Where's Kirky when you need him?!  Smile

TIS
www.stellaryear.com: Canon EOS 50D, Canon EOS 5DMkII, Sigma 50mm 1.4, Canon 24-70 2.8L II, Canon 100mm 2.8L, Canon 100-4
 
Queso
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Joined: Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:28 pm

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:24 pm

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
Did I make my dog retarded?

Pets and their owners often share many traits.

Why would you stoop to the level of amusing the animal yourself rather than assigning this menial task to the court jester or some other loyal subject?
 
baylorairbear
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RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:34 pm

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
I punched her in the face with a closed fist



Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
Did I make her retarded?

Maybe that's why Jap acts the way shes does?  scratchchin 

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
Just now, she made eleven complete circles on the couch before she finally laid down.

She was probably just looking for a place to squeeze in beside your fat ass.

My mom's dog bit me mega-hard last night when she tried to gank my hamburger. She didn't realize it, but she grabbed my thumb instead and wouldn't let go. I had no choice but to smack her with an open hand on top of her head really, really hard, then banish her to her house for a while. I now have a nice puncture wound on my beautiful man-thumb.

BAB  devil 
I'm just skipping stones...
 
AeroWesty
Posts: 19551
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RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:39 pm

Oddly, I have nothing of substance to add at all to this thread, as I'm a pussy man, myself.  mischievous 
International Homo of Mystery
 
KaiGywer
Crew
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RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:41 pm

Quoting BaylorAirBear (Reply 14):
My mom's dog bit me mega-hard last night when she tried to gank my hamburger. She didn't realize it, but she grabbed my thumb instead and wouldn't let go. I had no choice but to smack her with an open hand on top of her head really, really hard, then banish her to her house for a while. I now have a nice puncture wound on my beautiful man-thumb.

Just bite back Big grin
“Once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, an
 
MattRB
Posts: 1358
Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2005 4:49 am

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:48 pm

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7):
And this is the man who would be King? What hope have we peasants if he smacks his bitch about?

Help! Help! I'm being repressed! See the violence inherent in the system!
Aviation is proof that given, the will, we have the capacity to achieve the impossible.
 
Queso
Posts: 3109
Joined: Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:28 pm

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Thu Jul 27, 2006 9:58 pm

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 15):
I'm a pussy man, myself.

That's not what I heard!
 
IAH777
Topic Author
Posts: 2810
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:55 pm

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Fri Jul 28, 2006 1:17 am

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7):
And this is the man who would be King? What hope have we peasants if he smacks his bitch about?

Just imagine what I'll do to you for your insolence, knave!

Quoting Jap (Reply 11):
Maybe you woke up the wolf inside her?

Doubtful. She's a shepherd/imbecile mix.

Quoting Queso (Reply 13):
Pets and their owners often share many traits.

 grumpy  Though she does bark at minorities....

Quoting Queso (Reply 13):
Why would you stoop to the level of amusing the animal yourself rather than assigning this menial task to the court jester or some other loyal subject?

My court jester corps is too busy responding to A.net forum threads.

Quoting BaylorAirBear (Reply 14):
She was probably just looking for a place to squeeze in beside your fat ass.

No. Lemuel the Franciscan Donkey isn't allowed on the furniture. And he's very sensitive about his weight.

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 15):
Oddly, I have nothing of substance to add at all to this thread...

Status quo.

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 15):
...as I'm a pussy man, myself.

Somehow, I envisioned you carrying an apricot toy poodle with a CZ-studded collar.  scratchchin 
 
SlamClick
Posts: 9576
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RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Fri Jul 28, 2006 1:28 am

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
she made eleven complete circles on the couch before she finally laid down

Normal behaviour for a whirl poodle.

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
So, I've taught my dog that chomping-down on something moving about under the covers is a fun game.

Until now I thought teaching a dog to bark was the dumbest move a dog owner could do. This certainly tops it. I take it you sleep alone!

Quoting HPLASOps (Reply 6):
There already is a term for it - beastiality.

Actually the word you are looking for is B-E-S-T-I-A-L-I-T-Y. Drop the first A. It is pronounced BEST-e-allity, not BEAST-anything. Look it up in a printed dictionary. If you use an online feature like Wiki you'll get less scholarly results. Besides you'll get about a hundred thousand hits - most of them really disgusting!
Happiness is not seeing another trite Ste. Maarten photo all week long.
 
AeroWesty
Posts: 19551
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2004 7:37 am

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Fri Jul 28, 2006 1:30 am

Quoting IAH777 (Reply 19):
I envisioned you carrying an apricot toy poodle with a CZ-studded collar.

I do wish BAB would stop telling people what he's planning on giving me for Christmas every year. Something has to be left to surprise!
International Homo of Mystery
 
fspilot747
Posts: 3455
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RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Fri Jul 28, 2006 2:39 am

That totally proves what I've been trying to tell cat critics for so long. In these exact words, "you kick a cat and it tells you to go fuck yourself and takes off for a while to let you think about what you've done. You do the same to a dog and it comes back for more. "

Dumb dogs.

But at least they're loyal.
 
scintx
Posts: 252
Joined: Sat Apr 15, 2006 6:00 am

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Fri Jul 28, 2006 3:58 am

Quoting MattRB (Reply 17):
Help! Help! I'm being repressed! See the violence inherent in the system!

It's been years since I heard this, brings back some good memories!
Attention All Planets of the Solar Federation....We have assumed control.....We have assumed control......
 
gkirk
Posts: 23345
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RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Sat Jul 29, 2006 4:17 am

IAH777, you are an ugly duck! http://mishami.image.pbase.com/u2/johann/upload/18222954.Duck.jpg
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
AeroWesty
Posts: 19551
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2004 7:37 am

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Sat Jul 29, 2006 4:25 am

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 24):
IAH777, you are an ugly duck!

Well this *might* be clever, but access is forbidden to the image.
International Homo of Mystery
 
gkirk
Posts: 23345
Joined: Thu Jun 15, 2000 3:29 am

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Sat Jul 29, 2006 4:56 am

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 25):
Well this *might* be clever, but access is forbidden to the image.

 Wink
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Sat Jul 29, 2006 5:06 am

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
Most resulting in language that the clergy do not know

You mean like Choctaw or Swahili ?

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 7):
What hope have we peasants

Who's your "we" ? Your sentence should read "What hope have I, a peasant".

Quoting ANITIX87 (Reply 12):
Where's Kirky when you need him?!

ERROR+++ERROR+++DOES NOT COMPUTE+++ - nobody has ever needed Kirkie.

Quoting IAH777 (Reply 19):
No. Lemuel the Franciscan Donkey isn't allowed on the furniture. And he's very sensitive about his weight.

 rotfl 
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
IAH777
Topic Author
Posts: 2810
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:55 pm

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Sat Jul 29, 2006 5:36 am

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 24):
IAH777, you are an ugly duck!



Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 27):
You mean like Choctaw or Swahili ?

Pidgin Sanskrit, but close!
 
skidmarks
Posts: 6614
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 7:51 pm

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Sat Jul 29, 2006 5:38 am

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 27):
Who's your "we" ? Your sentence should read "What hope have I, a peasant".

Listen, you lowlife colonial, be grateful I even include you in that Royal we!! Big grin

Andy  old 
Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Sat Jul 29, 2006 5:39 am

Quoting IAH777 (Reply 28):
Pidgin Sanskrit, but close!

The later didactic inflection, or the older nasal form ?
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
IAH777
Topic Author
Posts: 2810
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:55 pm

RE: I Punched My Dog In The Face.

Sat Jul 29, 2006 5:41 am

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 30):
The later didactic inflection, or the older nasal form ?

Cockney.  biggrin 

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