klmcedric
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Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 2:27 am

I don't know what lead to it , but while having some beers with other crewmembers in a bar in Georgetown, Washington DC, we had a hilarious discussion about reading while attending to your daily business in the restrooms.

One conclusion we draw is that men are more prone to be heavy readers then
women.

As I'm sure that more then one stupid friday-night thread is allowed, here we go:

Do you read while taking a dump, and if so wich is your favourite lecture for this joyfull occasion and how much time on average will you spend reading.
 
AeroWesty
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 2:31 am

Never once, and don't understand why anyone would. Do your business, wipe, flush and go. There are more exciting things in life than sitting on the can.
International Homo of Mystery
 
Jkw777
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 2:37 am

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 1):
Never once, and don't understand why anyone would. Do your business, wipe, flush and go. There are more exciting things in life than sitting on the can.

Absolutely agreed!

To be honest, reading is for the lounge or for just before bedtime! Not for the crapper!

Cheers,
Justin  Smile
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KFLLCFII
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 2:51 am

Quoting KLMCedric (Thread starter):
Do you read while taking a dump, and if so wich is your favourite lecture for this joyfull occasion and how much time on average will you spend reading.

This will probably be the most outrageous reply to the topic, but it's the honest-to-god truth. My favorite lecture for this joyful occasion?

Quantum mechanics, relativity, and superstring theory Big grin



I'll read a few pages per "sitting"...It makes the occasion a very uplifting experience!
"About the only way to look at it, just a pity you are not POTUS KFLLCFII, seems as if we would all be better off."
 
vikkyvik
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 2:54 am

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 1):
There are more exciting things in life than sitting on the can.

Indeed, but if you're gonna be there for a few minutes anyway, might as well make it somewhat entertaining.

I have a couple Guitar Worlds that I'll typically glance through while dropping the boys off at the pond. Funny thing is, when I first tried to read while on the crapper, it felt way too unnatural. Now I'm used to it I guess.

~Vik

EDIT:
"Quantum mechanics, relativity, and superstring theory"

Hahahaha, I think I actually got through most of "A Brief History Of Time" while on the crapper.

[Edited 2006-08-18 19:55:54]
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".
 
cedarjet
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:01 am

Airline timetables, of course. Right now I have Koreanair's latest and Air France winter 05 (in French), Cathay Pacific 2003. The good stuff (BOAC, Braniff, MEA from the 60s) are in the bookcase in the living room.
fly Saha Air 707s daily from Tehran's downtown Mehrabad to Mashhad, Kish Island and Ahwaz
 
yooyoo
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:06 am

Hey, it's good alone time.

I usually read the daily flyers from the paper and look for good sales on stuff i need.

I never read any novels. There are some books i have read i would use to wipe my ass with though.
I am so smart, i am so smart... S-M-R-T... i mean S-M-A-R-T
 
Sabena332
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:09 am

Yes, I always hear radio and read something while sitting on the crapper, currently I read the Bundesliga season start edition of my favourite football magazine "Kicker".

A few years ago I spent several weeks with a friend in Spain, we shared a bed- and bathroom and after three days we almost had a library in the bathroom, the collection contained news magazines like "Stern" and "Spiegel" but also the LTU and Aero Lloyd inflight magazines and other stuff we got for free in the plane like "Sport Bild" and "Auto Bild". Taking a dump there was always very entertaining. Big grin

By the way, sometimes I even check my mails while sitting on the crapper, WiFi makes it possible.

Patrick
NZ1's mother is a disgusting crack-whore and his father is a worthless alcoholic!
 
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jetjack74
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:16 am

Quoting KLMCedric (Thread starter):
I don't know what lead to it

Massive amounts of booze and beer I suspect.

Quoting KLMCedric (Thread starter):
but while having some beers with other crewmembers in a bar in Georgetown, Washington DC, we had a hilarious discussion about reading while attending to your daily business in the restrooms

Was this before or after the food came?

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 1):
Never once, and don't understand why anyone would. Do your business, wipe, flush and go. There are more exciting things in life than sitting on the can.

Agreed there. The loo is last place I like to spend quality time. In a place were air freshener is kept for use on a regular basis, After I make my deposit I just want raise up and get the hell out of there.

[Edited 2006-08-18 20:20:19]
Made from jets!
 
AeroWesty
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:24 am

Quoting Jetjack74 (Reply 8):
This is a place were air freshener is kept for use on a regular basis.

There's a LOT I could do with this line, but instead I'll just make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl.
International Homo of Mystery
 
ScarletHarlot
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:34 am

I've heard it is best to avoid
Too much time spent over the void.
You'd best not spend a lot
Of time on the pot
If you want not to get hemmorhoids!
But that was when I ruled the world
 
BradWray
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:46 am

I take my laptop the toilet with me  Smile

Happy Dumping!

Bradley!
Hamilton: English for 'Alonso's bitch' :D
 
AsstChiefMark
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 3:58 am

I'll admit it. Yes. I usually read an atlas or A-to-Z. You know what they say... Garbage in, garbage out.

Mark  Smile
Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Damned MSP...Red tail...Red tail
 
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jetjack74
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 4:15 am

Quoting BradWray (Reply 11):
I take my laptop the toilet with me

Warning to all A.netters: Do not touch this man's computer if he brings it to the next meet.
Made from jets!
 
BradWray
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 4:19 am

Quoting Jetjack74 (Reply 13):
Warning to all A.netters: Do not touch this man's computer if he brings it to the next meet.

It gets cleaned daily  indifferent 
Hamilton: English for 'Alonso's bitch' :D
 
ajd1992
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 4:21 am

Good idea, taking a laptop is not a good thing. I read whatevers in there, usually a few Airliner World or F1 magazine. Or if my dad's at work, i'll steal his FHM and read through the articles at the back, after the women of course Big grin
 
gkirk
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 4:28 am

Usually Nuts, Zoo or FHM  Wink
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
halls120
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 4:42 am

Depends. Sometimes yes, especially in the morning. Usually not if it's an evening seance.

Don't know why. Habit, I guess.
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain, a Biography
 
AsstChiefMark
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 4:55 am

Quoting BradWray (Reply 11):
I take my laptop the toilet with me

Oh, you can do better that that! If you're going to use a computer in the shitter, then do it the right way!



Mark  Wink
Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Damned MSP...Red tail...Red tail
 
IFEMaster
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 5:19 am

Depends...if I'm taking a really big mansize sh*t and know from the outset that I'm going to be in there a while, I'll take some reading material.

If I'm just dropping some rabbit pellets, I won't bother. I'd only get through a paragraph or two, and the story will just be getting good when I find that I'm done and I wish I had a one onboard that could sink the titanic just so I could sit there and read a bit longer.
Delivering Anecdotes of Dubious Relevance Since 1978
 
BA787
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 5:32 am

Quoting Ajd1992 (Reply 15):
steal his FHM

Ladies Confessions are the best, unfoirtunately for me, my mum decided to flick through to see why I read it and read this page, now she has banned me from buying it saying it is too explicit for a fourteen year old

I'll jus take the nearest thing that i'm reading whether its airliner World or a novel

Reading Airways and Jeremy Clarksons Biography at the moment
Next will be The Clinic by Jonathan Kellerman

Tom
 
Cadet57
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 5:54 am

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 18):

That your office there Mark?  Wink
Doors open, right hand side, next stop is Springfield.
 
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jetjack74
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 5:57 am

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 18):
Oh, you can do better that that! If you're going to use a computer in the shitter, then do it the right way!

Just make sure you put the seat down when you leave, and use the alcohol wipes on the keyboard.
Made from jets!
 
scintx
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 6:50 am

I currently have in the crapper a 2006 US road atlas and the latest timetable from Southwest.
Attention All Planets of the Solar Federation....We have assumed control.....We have assumed control......
 
gkirk
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 6:55 am

Quoting BA787 (Reply 20):

Ladies Confessions are the best, unfoirtunately for me, my mum decided to flick through to see why I read it and read this page, now she has banned me from buying it saying it is too explicit for a fourteen year old

 rotfl  rotfl  rotfl 
When you hear the noise of the Tartan Army Boys, we'll be coming down the road!
 
frequentflyer
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 8:21 am

Not only do I read... but I also listen to music... once at work -I was younger...- I even forgot my SOny Walkman in there, and obviously somebody else found it and... had to inquire as to who was its owner. I'll let you figure out the embarassment.

That uncovered my habit !
Take off and live
 
ba757
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 8:26 am

Quoting KFLLCFII (Reply 3):
Quantum mechanics, relativity, and superstring theory

God you must be bored shitless...

Adam
 
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falstaff
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 11:17 am

I read while on the throne! I never sit very long, but in a week or so I can get through a magazine. Right now there is Airways magazine. Last week: Beer Cans & Brewery collectibles.
My mug slaketh over on Falstaff N503
 
KFLLCFII
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 11:20 am

Quoting BA757 (Reply 26):
shitless...

Actually, quite the opposite  Wink
"About the only way to look at it, just a pity you are not POTUS KFLLCFII, seems as if we would all be better off."
 
EWRCabincrew
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 11:25 am

Count me in as a "yes".
You can't cure stupid
 
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RobK
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 1:13 pm

 rotfl  Quality thread!

I confess to having a good read on the throne too. I'm a bit of a lazy bastard and generally ignore everything that comes through the letter box unless it looks like something interesting. After about 4 weeks of ignoring it you get to the point where you can no longer open and close the door properly because of 6 inch of mail jammed under it so I round it up and have a good session on the throne opening all the letters and reading the flyers and stuff  bigthumbsup 

One of mates has gone one step further and fitted a magazine rack on the wall next to his bog. There's about half a dozen of the current months mens mags in there like FHM, GQ, Nuts, etc.  bigthumbsup 

R
 
canuckpaxguy
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 1:17 pm

Yes I do read on the crapper thanks for asking.
I keep a stack of Maxim's in there as well as the alumni magazine from my university. I also added my collection of Gordon Korman books like "This Can't Be Happening at McDonald Hall", "No Coins Please" and "Son of Interflux". (My fellow Canucks should know who Gordon Korman is!!!).

My friends actually have their own bookmarks, and they read the books whenever they come over. Damn me for buying the premium toilet paper and having the good books! I can never get my friends out of my toilet!

G
 
BA787
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 6:44 pm

Quoting Gkirk (Reply 24):

I was suitably pissed off. She hid it though, whcih was daft cos I found it and now when shes out just read it. She can bin it now anyways, i read it all


Tom
 
skidmarks
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 7:39 pm

When you've got one iminent that would be better off being delivered by cesarean section, when you KNOW your gonna be sitting there for ever waiting for tha bastard to exit, thats the time to read on the bog. Lull it into a fasle sense of security then squeeze those cheeks and push! Who said women are the ony people who know the feeling of childbirth! Big grin

Andy  old 
Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
 
ltbewr
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:46 pm

Not at work for a number of years, but still do so at home. Usually auto magazines, sometimes mail (bills), preparing bills for payment. The lighting is good, you have nothing else to do anyway so why not use your time in a productive way while doing your 'doody'.

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 10):

Actually that is true and limiting time on the porcelin throne is better for your anal health.

Here is real story from my work many years ago: Some attorneys used small handheld 'microcassete' recorders so they could dictate letters and other documents anywhere for their secretaries to type up. One day a secretary was typing up the dictation tapes for her attorney boss and hears a wooshing noise in the background on the tape. At first she was puzzled by this then after some checking around, came to the conclusion that the guy had been dictating while taking a dump. That is a little too much multitasking.
 
Jkw777
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:49 pm

Even though I don't read, I do take my iPod in with me but it remains in my shirt pocket! No skin contact whilst I'm doing the business, lol!  Wink

Cheers,
Justin Big grin
jkw6210@btopenworld.com or +447751242989
 
lewis
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 9:56 pm

I always have magazines or comics with me. In my student house we had a huge collection in the bathroom, mainly Nuts and car magazines.

I don't find it weird at all. I have been to so many houses that have a magazine case next to the crapper.
 
scamp
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 11:21 pm

Thanks to a goodly amount of fiber in my diet, no. I'm usually on and off faster than it would take me to pick something up to read.
If it pisses off the right, I'm all for it.
 
skidmarks
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sat Aug 19, 2006 11:33 pm

Quoting Scamp (Reply 37):
Thanks to a goodly amount of fiber in my diet, no. I'm usually on and off faster than it would take me to pick something up to read

FAR too much information thank you!! Big grin

Andy  old 
Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
 
ajd1992
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sun Aug 20, 2006 12:48 am

Quoting BA787 (Reply 20):

Ladies Confessions are the best, unfoirtunately for me, my mum decided to flick through to see why I read it and read this page, now she has banned me from buying it saying it is too explicit for a fourteen year old

14 Year olds can buy FHM? Sorted :P I bought the news of the world as it's basically legal porn, but apparently the stupid woman shouldn't of sold it to me :S It bugs me that you can shag at 16, but can't watch others doing it until your 18 ...
 
skidmarks
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sun Aug 20, 2006 12:56 am

Quoting Ajd1992 (Reply 39):
14 Year olds can buy FHM? Sorted :P I bought the news of the world as it's basically legal porn, but apparently the stupid woman shouldn't of sold it to me :S It bugs me that you can shag at 16, but can't watch others doing it until your 18 ...

You wicked boy!!!!!!!!! Go to your room and No supper for you!! Big grin

Andy  old 
Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
 
Pyrex
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sun Aug 20, 2006 1:09 am

Quoting KLMCedric (Thread starter):
Do you read while taking a dump,

Yep... sometimes it is the only reason to go inside in the first place. Crapping can be a relaxing moment in a hectic day som might as well make the best of it.

While at home, I usually read magazines, or books when I am out of them. I ususally don't read newspapers - too dirty. I never leave anything in there, though - a bathroom is not a place to store books, if you want to read something prepare your dump in advance.

While at work I usually play games in my cellular phone, as it is easier to justify why I took it to the bathroom...
Read this very carefully, I shall write this only once!
 
ajd1992
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sun Aug 20, 2006 3:47 am

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 40):
You wicked boy!!!!!!!!! Go to your room and No supper for you!! Big grin

C'mon, we gotta get our thrills somehow Big grin
 
MD11Engineer
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sun Aug 20, 2006 4:39 am

Quoting LTBEWR (Reply 34):
Here is real story from my work many years ago: Some attorneys used small handheld 'microcassete' recorders so they could dictate letters and other documents anywhere for their secretaries to type up. One day a secretary was typing up the dictation tapes for her attorney boss and hears a wooshing noise in the background on the tape. At first she was puzzled by this then after some checking around, came to the conclusion that the guy had been dictating while taking a dump. That is a little too much multitasking.

We had a professor in university once, who decided to go for a dump a few minutes before his lecture. Only problem was that he forgot to switch off the wireless microphone he was carrying around his neck and which was connected to the lecture hall's PA system.
When he came back he realised something was wrong from all the student's grinning faces....


Jan
Je Suis Charlie et je suis Ahmet aussi
 
ba757
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sun Aug 20, 2006 4:41 am

Quoting MD11Engineer (Reply 43):
We had a professor in university once, who decided to go for a dump a few minutes before his lecture. Only problem was that he forgot to switch off the wireless microphone he was carrying around his neck and which was connected to the lecture hall's PA system.
When he came back he realised something was wrong from all the student's grinning faces....

Well...I guess shit happens?  Wink

Adam
 
Go3Team
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sun Aug 20, 2006 5:02 am

I don't have enough time to pick something up to read, before its time to clean up. I did know a few people who would spend 30-45 minutes on the bowl. They did have a lot of reading material available though.
Yay Pudding!
 
Duff44
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RE: Do You Read While On The Crapper?

Sun Aug 20, 2006 5:02 am

I'm never usually on the throne long enough to need something to read... but I always have my mobile on me so I can surf the net/send messages etc.
I'll rassle ya for a bowl of bacon!

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