IAH777
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So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Sat Sep 09, 2006 5:23 pm

...and the last azalea bush on the front of the house isn't getting enough water, causing it to grow much more slowly than the others. She called our landscaper, Mark, who offered to come over and lay some pipe. He was the one who originally tore-up our bed a couple of years ago, so who better to give us another head? What I really hate about Mark is how he always wants to hang out and talk after the job is done. Why can't he understand we just want him to do it and leave? I'd knock it out myself, but I just can't get a grip on Mark's plumbing.

Also, she reported that the dog (the one I made retarded by punching her in the face) dug a hole in the back yard. Must have been awfully deep, because she said she looked to see how deep it was and saw a Vietnamese kid. Seriously. Our neighbors are immigrants.
 
rammstein
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Sat Sep 09, 2006 5:33 pm

I hate bushes as well, it's better to keep that area bold and clean.
He who wishes to be rich in a day will be hanged in a day. --Leonardo Da Vinci
 
baylorairbear
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her

Sat Sep 09, 2006 5:41 pm

I'm torn. Do I encourage this behavior by contributing my own comedic genius, or do I show scorn for the thread starter for punishing our eyes with this? I'll decide in the morning.

BAB scratchchin 
I'm just skipping stones...
 
KevinL1011
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Sat Sep 09, 2006 6:13 pm

There's already a Shaving Brush thread.



Ooops! My bad!
You meant shaving bush!

474218, Carl, You will be missed.
 
gocaps16
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Sun Sep 10, 2006 10:29 pm

I need to trim my bush, you think she ll trim it for me?

Kevin
 
HatTrick
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Sun Sep 10, 2006 10:57 pm

My wife once called me to say she had the crabs....................Yes, the soft shell Maryland Blue Crabs I asked her to pick up at the market.
 
deltagator
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Sun Sep 10, 2006 11:02 pm

"If you can't delight in the misery of others then you don't deserve to be a college football fan."
 
asuflyer05
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Mon Sep 11, 2006 12:18 am

So you let another man help shave your wife's bush?
 
photopilot
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Mon Sep 11, 2006 1:01 am

Is the bush down in the valley where the little stream is? Do you have to fertilize the bush very often, or just a periodic re-seeding? Big grin  Big grin  Big grin
 
Thom@s
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Mon Sep 11, 2006 3:23 am

I liked the election campaign t-shirt with a pic of a nude woman with a shaved nether region, with the slogan "Read my lips, no bush after the election."

Thom@s
"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
 
FlyDeltaJets87
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Mon Sep 11, 2006 3:53 am

Quoting Thom@s (Reply 9):
I liked the election campaign t-shirt with a pic of a nude woman with a shaved nether region, with the slogan "Read my lips, no bush after the election."

I found the "I like my women like I like my politics: No Bush" shirts pretty funny.
"Let's Roll"- Todd Beamer, United Airlines Flight 93, Sept. 11, 2001
 
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Aeroflot777
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Mon Sep 11, 2006 4:10 am

Yipee, one of these threads again...  Yeah sure

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Wife called, assuming you live together, it's YOUR bush too!

Aeroflot777
 
RobertNL070
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Mon Sep 11, 2006 5:21 am

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
causing it to grow much more slowly than the others.

Be sure to use rainwater, azaleas and rhododendrons do not appreciate tap-water unless it is very soft tap-water. If you haven't done it already, replacing some of the top soil with some acid soil will be advantageous. Avoid hoeing and forking around them because they are shallow-rooted. Once established they will need little care.

 Wink
Youth is a gift of nature. Age is a work of art.
 
TedTAce
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Mon Sep 11, 2006 6:04 am

As long as it's red, bush is good  Wink
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JGPH1A
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Mon Sep 11, 2006 6:07 am

Quoting BaylorAirBear (Reply 2):
I'm torn. Do I encourage this behavior by contributing my own comedic genius

I'd say yes, if you actually HAD any. Alas...
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
IAH777
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Mon Sep 11, 2006 3:00 pm

Quoting Asuflyer05 (Reply 7):
So you let another man help shave your wife's bush?

No no no....she trimmed her own bush. The landscaper merely comes by to install a head. Sprinkler head.

Quoting Photopilot (Reply 8):
Is the bush down in the valley where the little stream is? Do you have to fertilize the bush very often, or just a periodic re-seeding?

I occasionally attempt to fertilize, but that's about it.

Quoting RobertNL070 (Reply 12):
Be sure to use rainwater, azaleas and rhododendrons do not appreciate tap-water unless it is very soft tap-water. If you haven't done it already, replacing some of the top soil with some acid soil will be advantageous.

We're feeding them some sort of silver compound that made them explode. With any luck, we'll have a fantastic bed of them about the time we move out.  Sad

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 13):
As long as it's red, bush is good

Close. We have a magenta shade and white. :-p

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 14):
I'd say yes, if you actually HAD any. Alas...

 checkmark 

 
vinniewinnie
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Tue Sep 12, 2006 12:54 am

Loooooooooool reading the headline of your topic I really thought you were talking about another type of Bush!

Oh well my mistake  

Edit: kind or type of Bush? changed kind in type but not sure at all! Help!!!

[Edited 2006-09-11 18:00:25]
 
baylorairbear
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her

Tue Sep 12, 2006 1:04 am

Quoting VinnieWinnie (Reply 16):
Loooooooooool reading the headline of your topic I really thought you were talking about another kind of Bush!



BAB
I'm just skipping stones...
 
IAH777
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Tue Sep 12, 2006 9:34 am

Quoting VinnieWinnie (Reply 16):
I really thought you were talking about another type of Bush!

Don't be absurd. As if my wife could ever cut the President's hair. He's not even her Bush. She voted for McGovern.

Quoting VinnieWinnie (Reply 16):
kind or type of Bush?

Did you read past the title? Azaleas, man! Azaleas!
 
cfalk
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Tue Sep 12, 2006 9:39 am

Quoting IAH777 (Thread starter):
So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

When I saw the headline, my first thought was "What the hell are you doing wasting time on the 'net talking about it? Say you have an emergency, get your ass back home ASAP, and get in there!!!"
The only thing you should feel when shooting a terrorist: Recoil.
 
IAH777
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Tue Sep 12, 2006 9:42 am

Quoting Cfalk (Reply 19):

I would, but Armando The Pool Boy is there and he's bigger than me. Hell, I don't think our yard is even big enough for a pool.  worried 
 
vinniewinnie
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Tue Sep 12, 2006 8:59 pm

Quoting IAH777 (Reply 18):
Don't be absurd. As if my wife could ever cut the President's hair. He's not even her Bush. She voted for McGovern.

Well there r 3 types of bushes I believe:

- One belonging to the white house!
- One which you find in your garden!
- Pubic hair around the genitals of a woman when there is loads of it there!

When I read the title of your post I thought about the 3rd option! My mistake...

Anyway looooooooooooooooool again!  Wink
 
ilikeyyc
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Tue Sep 12, 2006 9:09 pm

forget it

[Edited 2006-09-12 14:20:46]

[Edited 2006-09-12 14:22:45]
Fighting Absurdity with Absurdity!
 
Kieron747
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Tue Sep 12, 2006 9:14 pm

Quoting Ilikeyyc (Reply 22):
(you do have a pet beaver, right?)

Reply 6.  sarcastic 

Kieron747
Airliners.Net - The Jam Rag Of The Web.
 
IAH777
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Tue Sep 12, 2006 11:34 pm

Quoting VinnieWinnie (Reply 21):

Tis merely the lost art of double entendre.
 
TedTAce
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Wed Sep 13, 2006 1:23 am

Quoting Ilikeyyc (Reply 22):
forget it

[Edited 2006-09-12 14:20:46]

[Edited 2006-09-12 14:22:45]

I'm sure it belonged on whiners, but would have been absolutely hilarious!!!
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vinniewinnie
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RE: So, My Wife Called To Tell Me She Trimmed Her Bush

Wed Sep 13, 2006 7:05 am

Quoting IAH777 (Reply 24):
Tis merely the lost art of double entendre.

C'est vrai  Wink

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