Another note: These are the events as I perceived them to occur. It doesn’t mean this is absolute fact, it’s just what I would say if asked for my recollection.
A VERY Shallow “Victory”?
So she was here and at one point this morning (my Son’s birthday) she starts to say something , then retracts. I spend a few minutes trying to politely badger it out of her to no avail. Ok Fine whatever.
So about an hour later she decides to talk.
She wants to follow bozo boy (and his wife) up to Tennessee and would I re-consider the custody agreement. Now she fore-warns that this is not set in stone, there is a long way to go on this, but if it comes to fruition I can have the kids and $400/month while they are in school, She only gets them for the Summer.
After hemming and hawing on details like basically it will be her obligation to transport them, and like that, I have tentatively agreed.
Now obviously this is a personal victory, in all my arrogance (if this pans out) I’m going to be the one primarily responsible for raising the children the way I see fit and I have ABSOLUTELY NO problems with THAT aspect of the challenge should it come to pass. I know I can raise these kids and turn them into productive mostly well adjusted adults.
BUT: I really don’t want them to grow up with their mom ‘only on the summers’. They are so young and the thought of them only seeing their mother for a little more than two months out of the year is bothersome.
I know that letting her go and figuring out she’s making a huge mistake is the right thing to do, but at the cost of the kid’s experience with their mom??
After I agreed, while she was hemming and hawing about whether or not it’s going to happen. So to make a point (that we should stick with what we had previously agreed sharing custody with her staying here) I even told her she’s ‘choosing between her kids and her sex life’. Of course she said she didn't think of it like that. I said your not thinking of it like that, but that's what it boils down to.
Note we did not and will not discuss this option with the kids until it does come to pass. the Last thing we need is the kids freaking out that such an arrangment might happen.
The thing that amazed me about two hours after I had made the remark about the choice; she serving lunch and was making a point of how good a father I am in front of the kids, and how I would be great at taking care of them, and it was sincere!!!
I don't know what to hope for. One way I win and the kids will do good; the other the kids win for experience with their mom, but then she has more influence on them.
Next life: I'm going to get the twins disabled as soon as I get out of middle school.