Source (read carefully): http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i11225
Fair-use excerpt, full article available at above link.
"WASHINGTON, DC -- The U.S. Transportation Security Agency announced it will impose more airline restrictions following the terrorist threat in the United Kingdom. Beginning immediately, all passengers will be required to wait five days before traveling.
"Travelers must wait five days after buying a ticket before they can board an airplane," TSA spokesman Kip Hawley explained. "The purpose of this is to prevent terrorism by giving the purchaser a chance to 'cool off,' rather than potentially boarding an aircraft in a fit of anger or rage. Too many terrorist acts are completed within hours of a ticket purchase."
The waiting period will be applied to all domestic and international flights. "The September 11th hijackers boarded domestic planes," Hawley recalled. "Had a waiting period been in effect, the attack would have been foiled until September 16th. We could have completely evacuated the World Trade Center and the Pentagon during that 120-hour window. Thousands of lives would have been saved.""