TedTAce
Topic Author
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What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:41 am

What kind of man stays with a woman who has cheated on him, proffessed her love for another, and wants to stay in the relationship to stay with her kids and 'give the relationship a chance' then insists on 'staying in touch' with her lover?

Yeah, yeah, I know.. just answer the question please.
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Cadet57
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:50 am

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
Yeah, yeah, I know.. just answer the question please.

Sorry Ted, but I have to say.. Pretty nuts. I mean. My opinion may be worthless seeing as im 19. But I was kind of like that. My ex cheated on me for a month til she dumped me(we'd been dating for 7). For awhile I even wanted to forgive her and take her back. But I realized ultimately would only lead to more heartbreak for me so I just called it off and havent looked back since.
Doors open, right hand side, next stop is Springfield.
 
Jkw777
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 7:55 am

Ted,

Absolutely under no circumstances would I stay with someone that cheated on me. Justin is right with his comments about it leading to more heartbreak. Once a cheater always a cheater in my opinion!

Regards,
THE Justin  Smile
jkw6210@btopenworld.com or +447751242989
 
ilikeyyc
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 8:02 am

There is a line in the Declaration of Independence that says:

.....and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

I know I didn't answer the question, but its food for thought.
Fighting Absurdity with Absurdity!
 
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Braybuddy
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 8:11 am

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
What kind of man stays with a woman who has cheated on him, proffessed her love for another, and wants to stay in the relationship to stay with her kids and 'give the relationship a chance' then insists on 'staying in touch' with her lover?

Obviously, a man who loves his wife! I don't see anything wrong in what you are doing, as long as it's not causing you too much pain or grief.

And, of course, you now have carte blanche to play the field! You never know what might be around the corner . . .
 
Air380
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 8:17 am

A man that wants to be hurt again and again, sorry.
 
BAxMAN
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 8:19 am

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
What kind of man stays with a woman who has cheated on him, proffessed her love for another, and wants to stay in the relationship to stay with her kids and 'give the relationship a chance'

This kind of man is reasonable. Maybe clutching at straws, but forgive and forget...

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
then insists on 'staying in touch' with her lover?

Ah, this kind of man is a sucker.
I need to get laid
 
greasespot
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 8:58 am

Quoting Jkw777 (Reply 2):
Absolutely under no circumstances would I stay with someone that cheated on me.

Easy to say...now......lets see how you think years from now when you have al ife together and kids.


GS
Sometimes all you can do is look them in the eye and ask " how much did your mom drink when she was pregnant with you?"
 
halls120
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:16 am

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
What kind of man stays with a woman who has cheated on him, proffessed her love for another, and wants to stay in the relationship to stay with her kids and 'give the relationship a chance' then insists on 'staying in touch' with her lover?

An optimistic fool.

I stayed with my ex after she had an affair only because she swore it was over, that it would never happen again, and because of the kids.

While she was right about the previous affair being over, she cheated again.

Here's the bottom line. you can NEVER trust her again. The trust she violated can never be rebuilt, IMO. That she would cheat on you in such a brazen fashion indicates that she is integrity challenged, to say the least.
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain, a Biography
 
GDC2006
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:18 am

Sometimes love is unconditional, and sometimes you have to force yourself to adhere to some form of conditons.........

You can forgive and you can get over infidelity but no way can you make a relationship work while she stays in touch with the third party.

That is your condition, the third party no longer has a part in her life or she no longer has a part in yours, forget all that "its for the kids" kids are resilient and quickly adapt to situations. YOU are the priority so start giving her some conditions but be willing to accept she may not be prepare to live by them and make yourself some contingency plans.

But trust the voice of experience, forgiveness and a hard line DO work.
Trust a woman? How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die?
 
Jkw777
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:33 am

Quoting Greasespot (Reply 7):
Easy to say...now......lets see how you think years from now when you have al ife together and kids.

My wife actually fled the country with my unborn kid so don't tell me what it's like...
jkw6210@btopenworld.com or +447751242989
 
skysurfer
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:40 am

My 30 year old brother does.....he loved his gf and her child but she played around on him, and she now has him wrapped around her lil finger. I can see that he's weak coz he's not that great with women, but i don't say anything because it's not my place, he has to learn for himself. But i'd have kicked her into touch a long time ago....i just hope he doesn't try and blame anyone when he realizes, coz i'll tell him straight.

Cheers
In the dark you can't see ugly, but you can feel fat
 
777236ER
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:42 am

What kind of man...puts their kids through this.

How long has this been going on now? Months? First you hate each other, then she's off to fuck her boyfriend, then she's going to live with him, now you've fucked each other and you want to get back together, but with her fucking him on the side?

Grow up. You're not a kid anymore, both of you have responsibilities. How do you think your children feel with their mum and dad acting like two idiots in a soap?

Frankly, it doesn't matter to anyone what you and your wife do. But whatever you do, stick to it, and make sure the kids know what's going on. You've brought them into this before, at least learn from that mistake and put them ahead of your sexual frustration.
Your bone's got a little machine
 
fspilot747
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:15 am

Kind of man with a dick with no balls and no brains. Sorry.
 
ZKSUJ
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:46 am

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
What kind of man stays with a woman who has cheated on him, proffessed her love for another, and wants to stay in the relationship to stay with her kids and 'give the relationship a chance' then insists on 'staying in touch' with her lover?

Don't know. However I know of a few people in a similarish situation
 
vikkyvik
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:50 am

Quoting 777236ER (Reply 12):
What kind of man...puts their kids through this.

How long has this been going on now? Months? First you hate each other, then she's off to fuck her boyfriend, then she's going to live with him, now you've fucked each other and you want to get back together, but with her fucking him on the side?

Grow up. You're not a kid anymore, both of you have responsibilities. How do you think your children feel with their mum and dad acting like two idiots in a soap?

Frankly, it doesn't matter to anyone what you and your wife do. But whatever you do, stick to it, and make sure the kids know what's going on. You've brought them into this before, at least learn from that mistake and put them ahead of your sexual frustration.

I'd pretty much agree with that.

It's a tough situation, Ted, because emotions are ANYTHING but logical. But I really think you have to keep the kids at the forefront. Someone said kids adapt easily; that's true, but hardly the whole story. They can develop emotional issues or problems due to the crap they go through when they're young.

So whatever you do, please do it for the kids.

~Vik
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".
 
Cadet57
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:56 am

Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 15):
So whatever you do, please do it for the kids.

Could not have said it better dude. Even if you are from Boston  Wink
Doors open, right hand side, next stop is Springfield.
 
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NWOrientDC10
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 11:28 am

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
What kind of man stays with a woman who has cheated on him, proffessed her love for another, and wants to stay in the relationship to stay with her kids and 'give the relationship a chance' then insists on 'staying in touch' with her lover?

I have no answer for this question. All I can say is that you're probably feeling the worse pain a person can feel - a broken heart. The only cure for a broken heart is time.

Meanwhile, I do have some suggestions; rent some comedy movies. Laughter is the best medicine. Also, think back to a time before you met your significant other. Think about a girl you had a crush on before you met this one (It worked for me, anyway).

Something else you said in this post which kind of sticks out - "her kids". It sounds like there are children involved. If so are they your children or did she already have the children when you met her/got involved with her? The reason I'm asking is because this already complicated situation could be a. she has children, you do not. b. the children are both of yours c. some children are yours, some are step children. If you have an attachment to the kids, then things are complicated even further. When children are involved, legal matters will surely follow.

For what it's worth, some of us a.netters are good listeners. Also, drop by the live chat. I'm there sometimes and will hear you out, as will others there.

Whatever happens, we're here for you.  Smile

Good luck and try to have a good day  bigthumbsup 

Russell



.
Things aren't always as they seem
 
luv2fly
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:15 pm

Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 15):
So whatever you do, please do it for the kids.

I'm sorry that is just wrong, years from now are the "kids" going to say, gee was it not great that mom and dad stayed in a loveless sham of a marriage just to protect us.
You can cut the irony with a knife
 
Cadet57
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:18 pm

Quoting Luv2fly (Reply 18):
gee was it not great that mom and dad stayed in a loveless sham of a marriage just to protect us.

I beg to differ. Im sure you will find the kids may look at it and see that both their parents atleast tried for their sake to make their life as un fucked up as possible.
Doors open, right hand side, next stop is Springfield.
 
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NWOrientDC10
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:24 pm

Quoting 777236ER (Reply 12):
What kind of man...puts their kids through this.

How long has this been going on now? Months? First you hate each other, then she's off to fuck her boyfriend, then she's going to live with him, now you've fucked each other and you want to get back together, but with her fucking him on the side?

Grow up. You're not a kid anymore, both of you have responsibilities. How do you think your children feel with their mum and dad acting like two idiots in a soap?

Frankly, it doesn't matter to anyone what you and your wife do. But whatever you do, stick to it, and make sure the kids know what's going on. You've brought them into this before, at least learn from that mistake and put them ahead of your sexual frustration.

Lighten up, Mr.777. Sometimes matters of the heart require a delicate touch. Save the harshness for other things.

Good Day  Smile

Russell
Things aren't always as they seem
 
vikkyvik
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:29 pm

Quoting Luv2fly (Reply 18):
I'm sorry that is just wrong, years from now are the "kids" going to say, gee was it not great that mom and dad stayed in a loveless sham of a marriage just to protect us.

Rereading my post, I don't see one place where I said they should stay in a loveless marriage.

Otherwise, in my opinion, if you're going to bring kids into the world, you'd damn well better be prepared to make them your priority until they're old enough to take care of themselves.

I'm EXTREMELY thankful every day that my dad remarried my stepmom after my mom died. It was very difficult for a few years, having a new stepmom and two stepbrothers, but I understand quite well now that it was very much needed, for all concerned.

So yeah, maybe the kids will grow up, understand, and be thankful.

[Edited 2006-10-30 04:30:37]
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".
 
Roger136913
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:32 pm

Quoting 777236ER (Reply 12):
What kind of man...puts their kids through this.

How long has this been going on now? Months? First you hate each other, then she's off to fuck her boyfriend, then she's going to live with him, now you've fucked each other and you want to get back together, but with her fucking him on the side?

Grow up. You're not a kid anymore, both of you have responsibilities. How do you think your children feel with their mum and dad acting like two idiots in a soap?

Frankly, it doesn't matter to anyone what you and your wife do. But whatever you do, stick to it, and make sure the kids know what's going on. You've brought them into this before, at least learn from that mistake and put them ahead of your sexual frustration.

It may be harsh but it's the truth....

I don't know anyone here and don't post much but I have read your threads and can't understand why you go public ?

I personaly would not put the kids through this. Imagine how confused they are let alone you?

Seems like your asking the world to give you answers as to what you should do? No one can answer that question only you.

Though I don't know you but only from your posts I do wish you the best.
I would cut my loses and move on....
 
cfcuq
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:36 pm

Quoting Roger136913 (Reply 22):
don't know anyone here and don't post much but I have read your threads and can't understand why you go public ?

 checkmark 
Rt on, enough. Ted, live your own life !!!
 
halls120
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:49 pm

Quoting Luv2fly (Reply 18):
I'm sorry that is just wrong, years from now are the "kids" going to say, gee was it not great that mom and dad stayed in a loveless sham of a marriage just to protect us.

Depends on the age of the kids. When we broke up, our kids were 14 and 18, and both of them knew that the marriage had disintegrated and that life in the house was a living hell.

Quoting Cadet57 (Reply 19):
I beg to differ. Im sure you will find the kids may look at it and see that both their parents atleast tried for their sake to make their life as un fucked up as possible.

They will only think that if you are able to pull it off. If one parent is openly cheating on the other parent, what kind of lesson is that?
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain, a Biography
 
vaporlock
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 12:52 pm

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
What kind of man stays with a woman who has cheated on him, proffessed her love for another, and wants to stay in the relationship to stay with her kids and 'give the relationship a chance' then insists on 'staying in touch' with her lover?

Yeah, yeah, I know.. just answer the question please.

Teddy, all I can say is that you must really be in love with her! Your obviously not thinking about yourself. The children are a big part of why your thinking/doing what you are but remember... the kids are a lot smarter than you think and at this point they know that something is wrong with daddy & mommy.

Hey, your a smart guy and you need to think about yourself....only you can answer your question honestly. Just don't put yourself and your feelings on the back burner...you deserve to live a happy life with someone who will care for you ... and your children.

Phyllis  bouncy 
 
TedTAce
Topic Author
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 1:51 pm

Thanks for the input all.

I wish I could post the e-mail exchanges, but that would take too much time and honestly wouldn't be prudent.

What has happened since I started this thread would be hilarious if it wasn't my life. Suffice it to say I'm not staying in the marriage and she's livid that I have rejected her.

C 'est La Vie, but I can't keep living with a lie.
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andessmf
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 2:31 pm

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
What kind of man stays with a woman who has cheated on him, proffessed her love for another, and wants to stay in the relationship to stay with her kids and 'give the relationship a chance' then insists on 'staying in touch' with her lover?

Ted, it'll give it my unbiased opinion and become the devils advocate again, since I somewhat encountered and have encountered this problem lately.

First, you have to find out the real reasons she cheated on you. This could be something that did not involve you at all. Or it could be that the ass that you can be on this site shines thru on your married life as well.

It could be also a simple situation of you and/or your wife not having had enough sexual encounters with the opposite sex, and after several years of marriage that curiosity comes back up to the surface.

That is a question that only you can answer, but remember that you are not a rug that anyone can walk on. Always keep your head high.

And another thing to remember, and this makes me sound like an ass: Long time married people dont always need intimacy, they need a good f***. If you both dont know how to do, LEARN.
 
diamond
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 3:05 pm

Typically when one spouse wants to leave another, and then they somehow manage to piece it back together ... they will eventually split up anyway. All you are doing (probably) is postponing the separation/divorce for a little while longer ... and postponing your own happiness.
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HAWK21M
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 4:53 pm

Only a Fool.
Once Betrayed.Never Trust.
regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
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EA CO AS
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 4:59 pm

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
What kind of man stays with a woman who has cheated on him, proffessed her love for another, and wants to stay in the relationship to stay with her kids and 'give the relationship a chance' then insists on 'staying in touch' with her lover?

This is obviously a trick question, since no real man would stay under these conditions.
"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem - government IS the problem." - Ronald Reagan

Comments made here are my own and are not intended to represent the official position of Alaska Air Group
 
halls120
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:34 pm

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 26):
Suffice it to say I'm not staying in the marriage and she's livid that I have rejected her.

C 'est La Vie, but I can't keep living with a lie.

Good for you. Time to move on a start a new life.

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 27):
First, you have to find out the real reasons she cheated on you. This could be something that did not involve you at all. Or it could be that the ass that you can be on this site shines thru on your married life as well.

 redflag  Ted could be the biggest ass on the planet - but that doesn't give his wife an excuse to cheat. A person with integrity doesn't cheat on their spouse, no matter how big an ass the spouse might be. Infidelity is NEVER excused because "he/she doesn't understand me" or some similar rot.
"Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." Mark Twain, a Biography
 
cornish
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 9:45 pm

Quoting Halls120 (Reply 24):
Quoting Luv2fly (Reply 18):
I'm sorry that is just wrong, years from now are the "kids" going to say, gee was it not great that mom and dad stayed in a loveless sham of a marriage just to protect us.

Depends on the age of the kids. When we broke up, our kids were 14 and 18, and both of them knew that the marriage had disintegrated and that life in the house was a living hell.

I was 11 when my parents divorced. He cheated on mum and moved out to live with his girlfriend. I knew what was going on and still saw him regualrly after the divorce.

Frankly I had a far better life at home once my parents divorced, no more rows and arguments which would only have got worse and worse had they stayed together in a sham of a marriage. Dad cheated on his girlfriend too eventually which just goes to show that mum was right not to stay with him.

Ultimately he grew up, married his girfriend and even had another kid.

But I for one am glad my parents didn't stay together in some sham marriage - it would have just made my mum more and more unhappy and Dad would still have played away.

Sometimes its MUCH better for the kids long term to end things. Saying that parents should stay together "for the sake of the kids" is bullshit if it just leads to even more unhappiness at home I'm afraid.
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
BMIFlyer
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 10:30 pm

Quoting Jkw777 (Reply 2):
Absolutely under no circumstances would I stay with someone that cheated on me. Justin is right with his comments about it leading to more heartbreak. Once a cheater always a cheater in my opinion!

My thoughts entirely.

Under no circumstances would I stay in a relationship with such a person.



Lee
Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
 
TedTAce
Topic Author
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 11:47 pm

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 27):
Or it could be that the ass that you can be on this site shines thru on your married life as well.

 checkmark   Wink

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 27):
It could be also a simple situation of you and/or your wife not having had enough sexual encounters with the opposite sex, and after several years of marriage that curiosity comes back up to the surface.

The wife has had very few experiences. I have had 'enough' experiences, some people have had more, and others less. I'm mostly satisfied with my premarital experience, the only thing missing from that resume being two girls at once; but I wouldn't have cheated to fill that easily ignorable hole.

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 27):
Long time married people dont always need intimacy, they need a good f***. If you both dont know how to do, LEARN.

This honestly is a good point. Our married sex life has been for shit over the past year when this all began and honestly wasn't stellar leading up to it. We are both to blame, I just wish she would have choosen counseling over another man.

Quoting Halls120 (Reply 31):
Ted could be the biggest ass on the planet - but that doesn't give his wife an excuse to cheat. A person with integrity doesn't cheat on their spouse, no matter how big an ass the spouse might be. Infidelity is NEVER excused because "he/she doesn't understand me" or some similar rot.

 checkmark  Excellent point!


So here is the deal. We will move and share/rent a space together in WV. Then get a divorce as soon as legally possible. Once the divorce is a done deal I will buy a house of my own and things will go from there. We are agreeing that the shared expense of a living place aside, we will be fiscally divorced once the house in Florida is sold. And yes I'll get that in writing/notarized before we move.
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vikkyvik
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Mon Oct 30, 2006 11:47 pm

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 26):
C 'est La Vie, but I can't keep living with a lie.

Well, good luck man. Hope everything works out for you and the kids.

Quoting Cadet57 (Reply 16):
Even if you are from Boston

Hey! That's SUBURBAN Boston (soon to be Slummerville).
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".
 
andessmf
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Tue Oct 31, 2006 2:05 am

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 34):
Quoting Halls120 (Reply 31):
Ted could be the biggest ass on the planet - but that doesn't give his wife an excuse to cheat. A person with integrity doesn't cheat on their spouse, no matter how big an ass the spouse might be. Infidelity is NEVER excused because "he/she doesn't understand me" or some similar rot.

Excellent point!

Of course it is not an excuse to go ahead and cheat. But if Ted (and thank God he doesnt) wanted to be able to fix the relationship, both partners actions have to be looked at.

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 34):
I just wish she would have choosen counseling over another man.

 checkmark  Funny how a little communication can go a long way. I dont know exactly how my Latin wife and I made it thru the first few years, but communication is the key.

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 34):
the only thing missing from that resume being two girls at once

Beat you on that one!

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 34):
I'm mostly satisfied with my premarital experience

Good, my wife is by far the best one I experienced.

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 34):

Jeez, Ted, let me see if I can say this well. Thru this, you seem to be the party who is behaving the best. Congratulations for what its worth.
 
aerobalance
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Tue Oct 31, 2006 2:18 am

Quoting TedTAce (Thread starter):
What kind of man stays with a woman who has cheated on him, proffessed her love for another, and wants to stay in the relationship to stay with her kids and 'give the relationship a chance' then insists on 'staying in touch' with her lover?

One who should let go, discover themsleves - who they really are, move on and don't be angry to let love grow again.
"Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy..."
 
TedTAce
Topic Author
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Tue Oct 31, 2006 2:21 am

Quoting Aerobalance (Reply 37):
One who should let go, discover themsleves - who they really are, move on and don't be angry to let love grow again.

My intention exactly.
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HAWK21M
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RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Tue Oct 31, 2006 7:19 pm

Time is the best healer.
regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
Kay
Posts: 1797
Joined: Fri Mar 01, 2002 3:41 pm

RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Tue Oct 31, 2006 8:10 pm

TedTace,

How about a girlfriend? It'll quiet your reactions down. But not in front of the kids. For now.

Just go hunting. Go where you like.
Kay
 
TedTAce
Topic Author
Posts: 9098
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 12:31 am

RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Tue Oct 31, 2006 9:44 pm

Quoting Kay (Reply 40):
Just go hunting. Go where you like.

I'm not in the mood. Having two kids is plenty enough adventure without dating.... for now.
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747srule
Posts: 388
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2004 11:42 am

RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 5:06 am

I found out my wife is cheating on me,and filed for divorce on 10/23.She was SHOCKED. She forced my hand,and I no longer love her. I have tried to talk to her,but it does no good. April 24,2007 is independence day. Last night I cut off ALL emotions and feelings toward her. We are living under the same roof until the house sells,then I am on my merry way. Her thought processes are way out of whack,and I don't need a person in my life like this. I have a STRONG network of people around me who support my decision and that is helping me immensely.
Jesus is the way,the truth,and the life
 
TedTAce
Topic Author
Posts: 9098
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 12:31 am

RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:09 am

Quoting 747srule (Reply 42):
I have a STRONG network of people around me who support my decision and that is helping me immensely.

No kids I take it?
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fumanchewd
Posts: 2878
Joined: Fri Jun 03, 2005 7:43 am

RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:36 am

You need to make it clear that if its going to work, she cannot continue to have contact with her lover. If she works with him, she needs to get a different job. If she doesn't agree to change jobs and lose contact with him, then she is not committed to making the relationship work and will cheat with him again.

In my mind this is the only option. If she doesn't agree to it, you must kick her to the door.

Its a matter respect. The respect that she has for you, the respect that you have for yourself, and the amount of respect that your children will have for you if you put yourself in the position to be a cuckold husband again.

Don't let her tell you that its an unfair ultimatum. She cheated on you and its only fair.
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
vikkyvik
Posts: 11768
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2003 1:58 pm

RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:42 am

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 34):


So here is the deal. We will move and share/rent a space together in WV.

Hey Ted, just out of curiousity, what's the deal with the West Virginia part in all this. Why not stay in Florida?

Thanks...

~Vik
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".
 
Cadet57
Posts: 7174
Joined: Mon Jul 25, 2005 2:02 am

RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:53 am

Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 35):
(soon to be Slummerville).

Jesus... That even makes Springfield look like Venice...
Doors open, right hand side, next stop is Springfield.
 
vikkyvik
Posts: 11768
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2003 1:58 pm

RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 11:12 am

Quoting Cadet57 (Reply 46):
Jesus... That even makes Springfield look like Venice...

Venice, California? I can see that.

All I have to say about western Mass. can be summed up by the following:

A family friend is looking at colleges. He looked at some college out in western Mass. (is Bard in Mass.?). He looked at the brochure or whatever, and saw advertised, "It's great if you have a car. We're only 80 miles from the nearest city!"

Turns out, the "nearest city" that they were referring to was Northampton.
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".
 
Cadet57
Posts: 7174
Joined: Mon Jul 25, 2005 2:02 am

RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 11:26 am

Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 47):
Turns out, the "nearest city" that they were referring to was Northampton.

 rotfl  Ahhh NoHo, I have no life so I spend my time there with my friends, Great little TOWN.  Wink

Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 47):
(is Bard in Mass.?).

Where?
Doors open, right hand side, next stop is Springfield.
 
vikkyvik
Posts: 11768
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2003 1:58 pm

RE: What Kind Of Man Stays...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 11:34 am

Quoting Cadet57 (Reply 48):
Great little TOWN.

It's a great little CITY according to its website:

http://www.northamptonma.gov/

Quoting Cadet57 (Reply 48):

Where?

Bard College. I thought that's where my friend was looking. It's in New York state, so could be....

Anyway, we should probably stop hijacking Ted's thread....
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".

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