pawsleykat
Posts: 1714
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 7:38 pm

Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 6:42 pm

... my mum and dad have split up and will be filing for divorce. hissyfit  I won't bore y'all with all the details but I'll give a little insight.

In April of this year, my dad met up with a girl he had first met in Edinburgh over 6 years ago. At that point in time, they had been having an affair and my mum found out some time later. My dad apologised and we went on living. However, in April, this girl was having problems with the man she had moved away to live in Wales with (5 years ago) and had contacted my dad to say she was unhappy and was coming back up to Scotland. They slept together and were nearly seen on National News whilst leaving a hotel! They kept this secret and my dad invited us all to go and 'meet' this girl for the 'first time' although the had already been sleeping together, my mum and I did not know. Then, in September, my dad joined one of these sleazy internet dating websites that had a chat thing on it. He met 2 or 3 girls off of this and started using MSN to converse. The last week has been quite difficult as my mum has found out and things were rough to say the least.
On Monday night, my dad came home and had the chance to apologise but he has made his decision. Last night, my dad decided to leave.

I am taking it really hard and this, together with the severe bullying at school, is bringing me down big time.  cry  i cannot tell anyone my feelings and even if I did, they wouldn't care  boxedin 
I just need someone to talk to and I know that this is another "life as a teenager" thread by me but posting here really helps to get it all out.

Anyway, if you have read this, thanks a lot. I appreciate any posts or IMs that you may wish to write.

Thanks for reading,

Jordan Gray (JG)  Smile
First Class passengers are my favourites. They can't get any further forward without an ATPL.
 
MYT332
Posts: 7283
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2003 7:31 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 6:49 pm

Well that sucks but I'm sure you'll pull through ok. I'll leave it to other people to be more emotional/touchy feely, I'm not too good at that but all the best none the less.
One Life, Live it.
 
kazzie
Posts: 1655
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2006 5:09 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 6:56 pm

Dont let this effect your life..

theres still lots of things you can do, never forget that!
Bazinga punk.
 
pawsleykat
Posts: 1714
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 7:38 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 7:00 pm

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 1):
Well that sucks but I'm sure you'll pull through ok. I'll leave it to other people to be more emotional/touchy feely, I'm not too good at that but all the best none the less.

Thanks anyway Alex. It's just the thought that counts.

Quoting Kazzie (Reply 2):
Dont let this effect your life..

theres still lots of things you can do, never forget that!

Kaz, that is the nicest thing anyone has said to me. I really appreciate that thought  Smile

JG
First Class passengers are my favourites. They can't get any further forward without an ATPL.
 
Thom@s
Posts: 11674
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2000 2:03 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 7:09 pm

Yeah that sucks...

Anyway, join the club, and good luck to ya.

Thom@s
"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
 
ThePRGuy
Posts: 1833
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2006 10:07 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 7:16 pm

My Parents seperated when I was two, so consequently I do not remember much of it, if any come to think of it. Both parents now have extended families (we are an official step family) and I live with my mum. It has worked out really well, and now I cannot even imagine it not being this way.
I now have 2 step brothers, a step sister, and 2 half sisters, as well as a step mum, step dad, and step grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins to suit.

I visit my dad every 2 weeks or so, as he lives in Surrey and me in Maidenhead and we often do pieces for papers, as for some reason the traditional UK media don't seem to understand that a seperated family can be considered normal. (Morons - usually the Daily Mail)  Yeah sure

But anyway, Jordan, don't let it get you down too much, in the future you will be happier with this situation I believe, as both your parents should in the near future be happier with the new circumstance. But for now, keep smiling, and most importantly, keep browsing a.net  Silly


Thanks
Alex
Heathrow has been described as the only building site to have its own airport.
 
sean377
Posts: 1128
Joined: Sat Mar 03, 2001 1:18 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 7:38 pm

Get them both to still come to Iceland and we'll all knock some sense into them!  Silly

Being serious, my parents divorced when I was your age, and my 12 year old daughter has recently had bullying problems at school. You will get through this. IM me if you want to.

Sean
Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man... Landing is the first!
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:05 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 8:05 pm

Jordan,

I went through the experience of my Dad leaving my mum for a younger woman when I was 12 so I can understand just how you feel. Through in the fact that we lived in a Cornish village where everybody knew everybody's business and it was tough indeed.

But ultimately it made me stronger as a person and as odd as it seemed it made things much better for me as a teenager. No more rows at home between my parents. For my mum, although it was tougher financially, being apart from my Dad gave her the time to enjoy all the things that interested her - painting, writing, travelling - things she simply couldn't get to do with Dad.

These days my parents get on really well. Dad remarried (the woman he moved in with - depsite some further misdemeanors on the way), mum is still single but enjoys all her interests. She did 20 years of marriage and doesn't have a need for that again. They even worked together at college for a while.

Both of them are ultimately much better for the divorce. Importantly, both of them never did the tug-of-war thing with me (my older brother soon went into the army aafte rthe divorce so was less of an issue with him), and I hope that they don't make life difficult for you. In that respect I was lucky. If your parents put you at the top of their priorities and make sure it is as easy for you as possibly during such a difficult time (i.e. no arguments over visits, weekends, etc) then there is nothing to stop you enjoying an even better teen life than you might otherwise think right now.

I wish you the best of luck and hope you come out of this ok. Just remeber your mum needs your support right now so try to give it where you can and not be too much of a burden  Smile
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
PlymSpotter
Posts: 9986
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2004 7:32 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 8:20 pm

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
They slept together and were nearly seen on National News whilst leaving a hotel!

That would have to be one of the most embarrassing ways for anyone to find out  Sad

Still, keep your head up, perhaps at some point get away from the house, is there a good friend of family member who you could go and stop with for a couple of days if things get to much for you back home? I know technically its a bit like running away, but I find it helps to just get away from everything, and look at things from the outside for a bit.

I am sure you will be fine, no matter how dire things are, just try and keep thinking positive and try to be happy.

Dan Smile
...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
 
BMIFlyer
Posts: 8065
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 7:11 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 9:09 pm

Ah, that sucks man, always a sticky situation, divorce  Sad

Good luck with it all anyway  Smile



Lee
Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
 
speedbird747BA
Posts: 1312
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 9:47 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 9:18 pm

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
together with the severe bullying at school

I get all the divorce stuff but.........bullying? You should hit them back, because (as of 0616 CST 11/1/06) there are currently 43,045 a.netters I'm sure would back you up. And that's quite an army my friend. Can you imagine if a plane flew over with every a.netter standing in one field? Interesting, howevre, I'm sure youll pull through and become rich.

Cheers,
Kyle
How long do I have to climb, up on the side of this mountain of mine?
 
TedTAce
Posts: 9098
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 12:31 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 9:50 pm

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):

Not that a child ever can do without their parents, I think now for you is an especialy vulnerable time. I hope your dad at least tries to make the point he still loves you. If he doesn't; eff him. Realize this though, as it is the same thing I have been telling my kids: How this divorce affects you is your decision. You can use it as an excuse to fail, or you can take responsibility and use it to make you stronger.
This space intentionally left blank
 
Queso
Posts: 3109
Joined: Sat Jul 08, 2006 12:28 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:23 pm

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 1):
Well that sucks but I'm sure you'll pull through ok. I'll leave it to other people to be more emotional/touchy feely, I'm not too good at that but all the best none the less.

Me too, x2. I wish there was some magic piece of advice I could give or something that could be said to make it all OK, but there's simply not.

On the other hand, I can say that "that which does not break us makes us stronger". You'll end up being a stronger person because of having experienced this and you are learning to deal with a very tough situation- that experience and knowledge will help you to handle things that happen later in your life more confidently and in a positive manner.

As for the bullies at school, these things seem to have a way of working themselves out. Since we don't know the exact nature of the bullying, it's hard to know exactly how to counter it. But if it involves physical violence, Google some websites on Martial Arts self-defense techniques. A lot of them have been developed for a "Bambi vs Godzilla" perspective, so even if the neaderthals are bigger than you or are greater in numbers, you can still counter their efforts. You'd be surprised how effective it can be when you know the principals of using their own force and momentum against them! Just don't get in over your head and tell a responsible adult what is going on and that you are having problems with someone. Teachers, principals, that's what they get paid for, make them earn their money!

If it's emotional bullying, just keep your head high (I know, that's easy for me to say) and take the high road. Act like an adult and be responsible you'll gain credibility among the right kind of peers. Once you do that, you'll have an impenetrable circle of friends and the bullies won't even be able to see you, let alone being able to single you out to give you a hard time!

If all else fails, resort to dirty tricks (aka "alternate tactics"). At your age, some of these bullies might have girl (boy?) friends. Send flowers to the girlfriend and put the name of one of the bully's best friends on the card! They'll be so damned busy trying to figure out how to keep their girlfriend away from the friend, they won't have time for you! This also accomplishes the "divide and conquer" technique. You can think up lots of other things like this since you are young and creative, make a game out of it!

Best of luck!
From another "JG"!
 
legoguy
Posts: 2970
Joined: Tue Jun 13, 2006 8:59 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 10:43 pm

I can only echo what others have said. Hold your head high and you will get through this shitty time. It will make you stronger and in a few years you will be looking back at all of this and laughing. Best of luck
Can you say 'Beer Can' without sounding like a Jamaican saying 'Bacon'?
 
808TWA
Posts: 664
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2006 7:54 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 11:08 pm

Hey Pal, so very sorry to hear that this has happened to you. I've always said that I wish you all the very best of luck with life. In time everything which seems to be on top of you, will turn around in your favour.

Unfortunately it tends to be the kids who suffer the most and yet it is that very fact which seems to get ignored when the divorce word is thrown around.

Keep your chin up Jordan and remember that if you want to IM me that I'm always here at the same address as before.

Good luck,

-Alan
Love is in the air, so practice safe flying
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 11:09 pm

Wow. that's rough - never having been through divorce (my parents, while both clinically insane, are still together  crazy  Wink it's hard to know what to say - just don't take any of the emotional schrapnel on yourself - it's not something you could have prevented, sad but true.

As for the bullying - just tell them politely but firmly to Fuck Right Off. Bullies are almost always insecure morons acting out, just keep telling yourself that whatever happens, you're still better than they are - oh, and tell someone about the bullying ! You don't have to put up with abuse, from anyone. That's what policemen are for.
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:05 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 11:12 pm

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 15):
That's what policemen are for.

Oh ok. I thought policemen were for mocking and lampooning at every available opportunity.

Or is that just in the case of ANCBig grin



Seriously though JGP is right. If you are being bullied - tell somebody in authority that you are. You may think it might only make things worse, but really its the best way to put a stop to it.
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Wed Nov 01, 2006 11:23 pm

Quoting Cornish (Reply 16):
Or is that just in the case of ANC ?

ANC is both ex-military (and an NCO to boot) AND a pleessman, and is thus doubly deserving of abuse. Plus he lives at the arse-end of the universe, far enough away to be mocked with impunity  Smile

I will now go and hide in my secret, Cheney-style bunker.

See, JG - that's what happens to bullies when they grow up - they become ANC. If that isn't divine retribution, I don't know what is.

 biggrin 
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
Pope
Posts: 3995
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 5:57 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 12:33 am

I suggest you take up yoga as a way to get your mind and body in balance.
Hypocrisy. It's the new black for liberals.
 
User avatar
nighthawk
Posts: 4763
Joined: Sun Sep 16, 2001 2:33 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 12:56 am

hey jordan,

Sorry to hear about this! I cant say I know what your going through, as i havent been there myself, but if you ever want to talk im always on MSN. Just gimmie a shout.

Just remember that none of this is your fault, and theres little you can do about it. It will all work itself out and eventually everything will be ok again, your parents might not be together but everyone will soon find happiness again.

Life goes on, you just need to adapt to the changes and move on.
 
GSM763
Posts: 573
Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2006 3:35 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 1:08 am

Hi Jordan

Really sorry to hear that, I've never been through anything like this myself so I'm not going to try and counsel but please do remember my thoughts are with you and to get in touch with me if you want (not that you probably will). Remember that this shouldn't stop you doing anything and although your parents no longer love each other they almost certainly still love you
 
ORFflyer
Posts: 3142
Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2005 2:42 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 1:18 am

Sorry to hear about your situation, both at home and at school.

For the home life, I think Ted has it right....

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 11):
How this divorce affects you is your decision. You can use it as an excuse to fail, or you can take responsibility and use it to make you stronger.

For the school situation, I think the best thing is to:

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 15):
As for the bullying - just tell them politely but firmly to Fuck Right Off. Bullies are almost always insecure morons acting out, just keep telling yourself that whatever happens, you're still better than they are - oh, and tell someone about the bullying ! You don't have to put up with abuse, from anyone. That's what policemen are for.

Disclaimer: I will steadfastly deny agreeing with JGP. Even though it's right here in black and white....  Big grin  Wink
 
DrDeke
Posts: 805
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2005 7:13 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 1:23 am

Quoting Queso (Reply 12):
Send flowers to the girlfriend and put the name of one of the bully's best friends on the card! They'll be so damned busy trying to figure out how to keep their girlfriend away from the friend, they won't have time for you! This also accomplishes the "divide and conquer" technique.

That is a damn good idea! Fortunately I was never bullied enough to have to resort to measures like this, but it's honestly one of the most creative anti-bully ideas I've ever heard.

-DrDeke
If you don't want it known, don't say it on a phone.
 
pawsleykat
Posts: 1714
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 7:38 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 1:54 am

Thanks so much guys! I never expected so many people to reply. I had today off of school and I think that has helped a little.

Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 8):
is there a good friend of family member who you could go and stop with for a couple of days if things get to much for you back home?

Not really. The closest (in distance) member of my family is my grandad but I don't get on with him very well. I have no other relations in Central Scotland and the nearest friend / family member is probably in England and I cannot catch a bus to take me that far every morning  rotfl .

Thanks a lot for all your help folks. On the plus side, I got Flight Simulator X today so as soon as I get home (at a friends just now) I am going to install it and fly all night, if I can  Smile

JG
First Class passengers are my favourites. They can't get any further forward without an ATPL.
 
AGM100
Posts: 5077
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2003 2:16 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:17 am

May I reccomend , talking to both your parents and letting them know how you feel. Let them know you understand that divorce happens and that you love both of them. Believe me , they feel guilty for doing this to you , even if they dont express it. You are going to have to be stronger than them and most kids your age. You no longer have the luxery of having a group family. Do not get shortsighted on how you feel right now ... look to the future ! And dedicate yourself to not repeating their mistakes , and fullfilling your own life !

I always tell my kids that someday you will look back on all this and it will seem different. You will! It will not seem so bad 10 years from now , which may seem long but it goes by fast

Take care Kid ,

Quoting TedTAce (Reply 11):
You can use it as an excuse to fail, or you can take responsibility and use it to make you stronger.

 checkmark 
You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 3:47 am

Quoting ORFflyer (Reply 21):
Disclaimer: I will steadfastly deny agreeing with JGP. Even though it's right here in black and white....

Your long overdue submission to my overwhelming wisdom has been noted, and has been placed on file.  biggrin 
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
PlymSpotter
Posts: 9986
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2004 7:32 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 4:09 am

Quoting Pawsleykat (Reply 23):
Thanks a lot for all your help folks. On the plus side, I got Flight Simulator X today so as soon as I get home (at a friends just now) I am going to install it and fly all night, if I can

that should certainly take your mind off things Smile

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 25):
Your long overdue submission to my overwhelming wisdom has been noted, and has been placed on file.

This is until JGP accidentally eats the said file duck 

Dan Smile
...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 4:16 am

Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 26):
This is until JGP accidentally eats the said file

You won't be so lucky - your file is tabasco-coated to prevent exactly that kind of accident. Your punishment is in the planning stages...
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
PlymSpotter
Posts: 9986
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2004 7:32 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 4:19 am

Am I to fear a fate worse than death, or shall I be re-routed to Pyongyang? Or do I have to clean your toilet and then assist while you bathe in Yaks milk Wink

Dan Smile
...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 4:21 am

Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 28):
Am I to fear a fate worse than death, or shall I be re-routed to Pyongyang? Or do I have to clean your toilet and then assist while you bathe in Yaks milk

e) All of the above.
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
9V
Posts: 1368
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:35 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 4:30 am

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):

So your parents are getting divorced, so what? One in three marriages ends in divorce.

Look on the bright side. You will get 2x christmas and birthday presants, 2x places to stay and 2x everything else.  Wink

The main thing is be a man and look after your mom and make sure she is ok.  Smile

As for the school bullies, if you are being bullied you need to report it to the school ASAP otherwise it might get worse. Think about yourself and don't be afraid, no-one deservesto be bullied - fight back.  Smile
 
speedbird747BA
Posts: 1312
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 9:47 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 5:37 am

Quoting 9V (Reply 30):
fight back.

Gimme a call and I'll hop a flight over (BA, first class buddy, no stingyness here! on your tab of course) and whoop some ass for ya. Southern Style baby.

Cheers,
Kyle
How long do I have to climb, up on the side of this mountain of mine?
 
pawsleykat
Posts: 1714
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 7:38 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 6:18 am

Quoting 9V (Reply 30):
So your parents are getting divorced, so what?

That's not a very nice way to put it. I love my mum and dad so much and I hate to see them like this.

Quoting Speedbird747BA (Reply 31):
Gimme a call and I'll hop a flight over (BA, first class buddy, no stingyness here! on your tab of course) and whoop some ass for ya. Southern Style baby.

If you want to Kyle, come on over.  rotfl 

JG
First Class passengers are my favourites. They can't get any further forward without an ATPL.
 
ORFflyer
Posts: 3142
Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2005 2:42 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 8:50 pm

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 25):
Your long overdue submission to my overwhelming wisdom has been noted, and has been placed on file.

So this is a good thing. I guess I should reserve all comments about your signature for a different thread then....  Wink
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:00 pm

Quoting ORFflyer (Reply 33):
So this is a good thing. I guess I should reserve all comments about your signature for a different thread then....

(narrows eyes)

And what, pray, do you have to say about my signature ?

(strokes white cat and places foot on piranha-pool bridge pedal)
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
MYT332
Posts: 7283
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2003 7:31 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:04 pm

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 34):
And what, pray, do you have to say about my signature ?

That you should have gone with your orignal draft of:

"Old and ugly and portly and horrendous"

Makes more sense.
One Life, Live it.
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:11 pm

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 35):
That you should have gone with your orignal draft of:

"Old and ugly and portly and horrendous"

Makes more sense.

I would never speak such a hideous untruth. I would however propose that you change your signature to:

"Skinny, spotty, and unspeakably sordid"
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
kazzie
Posts: 1655
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2006 5:09 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:28 pm

Quoting 9V (Reply 30):
Look on the bright side. You will get 2x christmas and birthday presants, 2x places to stay and 2x everything else.

Trust me, this is not a bright side...

My parents split up when i was 5.... ever since then i have been shoved in the middle of arguments.. Been in the middle of fights... When Crimbo came around it was the same each year... "know i want her at mine, no she is coming with me i have more money to get her a nice prez you can only get shit" Always arguments and my birthday completely forgotten.... Wasn't until i was old enough to understand everything was when i realized to not even bother with it.... Not worth the arguments... and thats put me off Christmas..

Jordan, What ever happens DO NOT let your mum and dad put you in the middle of arguments and fights, refuse the pass on hate messages, refuse to be involved with petty.. Ill be honest they will use you as a weapon against each other... dont give in to it!
Bazinga punk.
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:05 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:50 pm

Quoting Kazzie (Reply 37):
Jordan, What ever happens DO NOT let your mum and dad put you in the middle of arguments and fights, refuse the pass on hate messages, refuse to be involved with petty.. Ill be honest they will use you as a weapon against each other... dont give in to it!

While I can appreciate what you may have been through Kazzie, don't scare the lad unneccessarily. While some divorces do indeed lead to this - plenty more, including my parents divorce don't lead to the child being used as a weapon.

Jordan's still a kid and hurt and confused right now. don't make him feel 100 times worse when the reality may not see this happen.

The point being is that all divorces are different, and Jordan has to stay strong, but not feel that the absolute worst is going to happen. He has enough stress right now.
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
kazzie
Posts: 1655
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2006 5:09 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:55 pm

Quoting Cornish (Reply 38):

But its true, Better to know whats coming then to hide it from him and have it come as a complete shock... Who knows Jordan might be lucky and not have that.
Bazinga punk.
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
Joined: Fri Feb 18, 2005 8:05 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 9:57 pm

Quoting Kazzie (Reply 39):

Fair enough - but don't say it will happen. yes it might happen, but don't make out that its a certainty when his parents split up.
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
kazzie
Posts: 1655
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2006 5:09 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 10:04 pm

Quoting Cornish (Reply 40):
Fair enough - but don't say it will happen. yes it might happen, but don't make out that its a certainty when his parents split up.

As I said, It may not happen, And I hope it don't happen to him.
Bazinga punk.
 
cornish
Posts: 7651
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RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 10:07 pm

Quoting Kazzie (Reply 41):
And I hope it don't happen to him.

So do I. Lets hope his parents put him first and make a difficult thing as easy as is possible for him  Smile
Just when I thought I could see light at the end of the tunnel, it was some B*****d with a torch bringing me more work
 
skidmarks
Posts: 6614
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2004 7:51 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 10:17 pm

Jordan, my sincerest commiserations mate. Always a sad time when families are split, and I'm very aware of that right now.

Just try and hang in there. There isn't a lot you can do or say to stop what's happening, but you can try and treat both your parents the same and not favour either one.

In time it will get to be just another phase of your life, and hopefully in all the pain you'll find something to make you stronger and learn from.

And in the end, you always have this forum to rant and unload onto. With the added plus that it gives JGPH1A, PlymSpotter, Petit-Pe@rson and other irresponsible oiks an excuse to make derogatory remarks about each other. Which should certainly take your mind off your immediate problems!! Big grin

Now, I'm going to hide from the monster that lives in the South of Frogland and do some work.

Take care

Andy  old 
Growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional
 
express1
Posts: 847
Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2006 2:08 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Thu Nov 02, 2006 11:08 pm

You know it makes me really angry that when people that sort of thing,thinking about themselves and not the rest of the family,your mum should now do the right thing and tell him where to go.

take it easy mate,look after your mum,and dont be so hard on ya selfs,stick together and be strong,it will work out in time.

all the best

dave
David.S cavanagh since 1961,if you can do better,then show me.
 
ORFflyer
Posts: 3142
Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2005 2:42 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Fri Nov 03, 2006 1:07 am

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 34):
And what, pray, do you have to say about my signature ?

That you must be talking about the women of A-Net.  Silly  Wink
 
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AirPacific747
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RE: Well, That's It...

Fri Nov 03, 2006 1:09 am

As others have said: Join the club.. my parents got divorced less than a year after I was born.
 
pawsleykat
Posts: 1714
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 7:38 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Fri Nov 03, 2006 1:42 am

Quoting Kazzie (Reply 37):
Jordan, What ever happens DO NOT let your mum and dad put you in the middle of arguments and fights, refuse the pass on hate messages, refuse to be involved with petty.. Ill be honest they will use you as a weapon against each other... dont give in to it!

I won't! They have already tried to get me to do that before and I just told my dad to go and f**k himself (and then I got grounded).

Quoting Cornish (Reply 38):
While I can appreciate what you may have been through Kazzie, don't scare the lad unneccessarily. While some divorces do indeed lead to this - plenty more, including my parents divorce don't lead to the child being used as a weapon.

My aunt Fran (super bitch) tried to use me as a weapon against my mum when they fell out and I will not go back there.


Quoting Cornish (Reply 38):
Jordan's still a kid and hurt and confused right now. don't make him feel 100 times worse when the reality may not see this happen.

The point being is that all divorces are different, and Jordan has to stay strong, but not feel that the absolute worst is going to happen. He has enough stress right now.

Well, atleast you know I am under stress. I really appreciate your sympathies and worries for me Cornish so welcom to my RUL.  Smile

Quoting Kazzie (Reply 41):
As I said, It may not happen, And I hope it don't happen to him.

Thanks Kazzie, I really hope it doesn't happen either and I am really, *thinks for word*, glad that y'all are thinking about me like that.

Quoting Cornish (Reply 42):
So do I. Lets hope his parents put him first and make a difficult thing as easy as is possible for him

Thanks Cornish. I really appreciate the hought that everyone is putting into their messages and I really hope that this can be made easy for me.

Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 43):

Thanks Andy. I appreciate your condolences too. Thanks  Smile

JG
First Class passengers are my favourites. They can't get any further forward without an ATPL.
 
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Aeroflot777
Posts: 2959
Joined: Mon Mar 22, 2004 2:19 pm

RE: Well, That's It...

Fri Nov 03, 2006 2:12 am

I'm very sad to hear the news. Stay strong and you'll pull through.

Quoting Pawsleykat (Thread starter):
On Monday night, my dad came home and had the chance to apologise but he has made his decision.

After so much done, I hardly think that another apology would help. Apologizing can only do so much... His actions are not justified, and I think its better that your mom files the divorce before more harm is done. Unfortunately this is going to be hard on you, but just stay close to your mom and you'll get through it.

Once again I'm really sorry!  Sad

Aeroflot777
 
carmenlu15
Posts: 4517
Joined: Sat Dec 25, 2004 1:24 am

RE: Well, That's It...

Fri Nov 03, 2006 2:21 am

Sorry to hear about your parents' divorce, Jordan. Been down that road myself... I'm pretty much used to it now, but bear in mind my parents divorced more than fifteen years ago!

Every case is different. Fortunately I didn't have to deal with bitter battles for custody; but I had to endure years of "being in the middle". They were never aggressive, but still, going back and forth "tell your dad that..." "tell your mom that..." "mom says that...", takes away a lot of energy.

But you know what? Now I'm able to look back and realize that I'm still here, that somehow I managed to survive that stage of my life, and it's now a thing of the past... I've grown up, I'm now an adult (well... at least that's what my ID says  Silly ) with my own worries and responsibilities... Dad married again and is enjoying his life, Mom also married again and is enjoying her life, then why shouldn't I enjoy my life as well?

Things are bound to get rough... but stay strong, and don't forget you can always come here to vent your frustrations (or just have a laugh).

Regards,
Carmen
Don't expect to see me around that much (if at all) -- the contact link should still work, though.

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