pjflysfast
Posts: 442
Joined: Wed May 31, 2006 11:05 pm

Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:12 am

I have not heard a good joke in a while so if any of you think you are up to the challenge of making me and others laugh go right ahead and pictures are also funny so use some if you have some.  biggrin 
 
MYT332
Posts: 7285
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2003 7:31 pm

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:16 am

Quoting PJFlysFast (Thread starter):
go right ahead and pictures are also funny so use some if you have some

I'll dig out my photos of JGPH1A and Pe@rson.
One Life, Live it.
 
cosec59
Posts: 2618
Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2005 2:59 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:18 am

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 1):
I'll dig out my photos of JGPH1A and Pe@rson.

Is JGPH1A burning his backside on a lightbulb?
Rules are for the obedience of fools but for the guidance of wise men
 
MYT332
Posts: 7285
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2003 7:31 pm

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:30 am

Quoting Cosec59 (Reply 2):
Is JGPH1A burning his backside on a lightbulb?

No this is the hamster felching incident. Quite horrific. Armageddon!
One Life, Live it.
 
IAH777
Posts: 2810
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:55 pm

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:32 am

A white missionary in Africa spent several months with a nomadic tribe in a remote part of the countryside. One day, the Chief's daughter gave birth to an albino child. Unfamiliar with genetics, the Chief was livid. He chased-down the missionary and dragged him back to his hut.

"You violate daughter. You must die," said the Chief.

"Wait!" pled the missionary, "Let me explain! The child is an albino. A freak of nature caused by a genetic foul-up!"

The Chief looked confused, so the misisonary tried to think of a way to illustrate his point.

"Look at that flock of sheep. All but one are white. The black one..."

The Chief suddenly looked terrified and cut-off the missionary. He leaned in close and said, "Listen. You no tell about sheep and I no tell about baby."
 
PlymSpotter
Posts: 10022
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2004 7:32 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:33 am

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 3):
No this is the hamster felching incident. Quite horrific. Armageddon!

Dare I ask which one was doing the felching? I mean, has the hamster got out yet?  Wow!
...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
 
Thom@s
Posts: 11674
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2000 2:03 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:43 am

Bet you can't name all three of Donald Duck's sons...

(or whatever)  Yeah sure  Wink

Thom@s
"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
 
MYT332
Posts: 7285
Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2003 7:31 pm

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:50 am

Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 5):
mean, has the hamster got out yet?

Well you see, Pe@rson went to investigate where the hamster had gotten to but soon found out he couldn't see much down there. This lead him to take out a match and light it around the anus area. Sadly the resulting flame ignited a pocket of methane gas which propelled the poor hamster out of JGP's bottom like a cannonball hitting the wall, splattering it's tiny brains everywhere.
One Life, Live it.
 
PlymSpotter
Posts: 10022
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2004 7:32 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:59 am

I dread to think what happened to Pe@rson then. Or perhaps he's yet to find his way out  duck 
...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 4:59 am

Quoting Myt332 (Reply 7):
Well you see, Pe@rson went to investigate where the hamster had gotten to but soon found out he couldn't see much down there. This lead him to take out a match and light it around the anus area. Sadly the resulting flame ignited a pocket of methane gas which propelled the poor hamster out of JGP's bottom like a cannonball hitting the wall, splattering it's tiny brains everywhere.

You clearly have a great deal of experience in this area - do share ! As for these heinous insinuations, I deny everything - I am a peaceful herbivore.
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
AirTranTUS
Posts: 3313
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2005 9:12 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:02 am

Quoting IAH777 (Reply 4):
The Chief suddenly looked terrified and cut-off the missionary. He leaned in close and said, "Listen. You no tell about sheep and I no tell about baby."

 rotfl   rotfl   rotfl 

I didn't know Gkirk was an African Chief!  Wow!
I love ASO!
 
baylorairbear
Posts: 2841
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2005 5:25 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:09 am

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 9):
As for these heinous insinuations

What? Anus insertions?

BAB
I'm just skipping stones...
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:15 am

Quoting Thom@s (Reply 6):
Bet you can't name all three of Donald Duck's sons...

nephews actually .

but that does remind me of a very lame joke

Mickey and Minnie Mouse are in the divorce court , it has been a long a bitter case but finally the judge has reached a decision .

"It is a very sad day today , you have both been idols and role models for millions of children around the world . I now have to advise you Mr Mouse that the court appointed psychiatrist has examined Mrs Mouse and declared her to be mentally sound , I am therefore denying your petition for divorce on the grounds of insanity"

to which Mickey squeakily replies in that annoying high pitched whine of his


....



....




...

"But your honour , I never said she was insane......



.... I said she was fuckin' Goofy"
 
808TWA
Posts: 664
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2006 7:54 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:20 am

What do you call an Italian suppository?............an Innuendo

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?................because the sound of a zipper scares the sheep.

How was copper wire invented?...................Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.



cough, cough,


-Alan
Love is in the air, so practice safe flying
 
IAH777
Posts: 2810
Joined: Thu Mar 20, 2008 8:55 pm

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:26 am

Quoting 808TWA (Reply 13):

How does a Scotsman find sheep in tall grass?


















Very satisfying.
 
speedbird747BA
Posts: 1312
Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 9:47 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:29 am

Quoting 808TWA (Reply 13):
Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?................because the sound of a zipper scares the sheep.



Quoting IAH777 (Reply 14):
How does a Scotsman find sheep in tall grass?

Very satisfying.

Kirkie wont like these.....excellent jokes!!  rotfl 

Cheers,
Kyle
How long do I have to climb, up on the side of this mountain of mine?
 
808TWA
Posts: 664
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2006 7:54 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:30 am

Quoting IAH777 (Reply 14):
How does a Scotsman find sheep in tall grass?

Hahahaha.....good one.

Isn't it strange how there is no such thing as virgin wool in Scotland !  Big grin
Love is in the air, so practice safe flying
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:30 am

Quoting BaylorAirBear (Reply 11):
What? Anus insertions?

BAB, I've told you already - no means NO !  yuck  I only date humans.
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
sprout5199
Posts: 1681
Joined: Sat Feb 26, 2005 8:26 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:31 am

Told to me by my 6 year old daughter(and she made up on her own)

"Daddy, what's the biggest plant in the world?"










"The power plant"

Dan in Jupiter
 
PlymSpotter
Posts: 10022
Joined: Thu Jun 17, 2004 7:32 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:35 am

Quoting JGPH1A (Reply 17):
BAB, I've told you already - no means NO ! I only date humans

What about that time with Cornish?  duck 
...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
 
808TWA
Posts: 664
Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2006 7:54 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:36 am

Quoting Speedbird747BA (Reply 15):
Kirkie wont like these.....excellent jokes!!

Lucky for me that I'm Scottish......whew!!

-Alan
Love is in the air, so practice safe flying
 
JGPH1A
Posts: 15080
Joined: Thu Aug 14, 2003 4:36 pm

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:37 am

Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 19):
What about that time with Cornish?

That was strictly business. And I got a full refund from Consumer Protection.  Smile
Young and beautiful and thin and gorgeous AND BANNED ! Cya at airspaceonline.com, losers
 
9V
Posts: 1368
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:35 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 5:46 am

 
David L
Posts: 8552
Joined: Tue May 18, 1999 2:26 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 7:06 am

Quoting 808TWA (Reply 13):
How was copper wire invented?...................Two Scotsmen fighting over a penny.

If we're going to dig out the old ones...

How was the Grand Canyon formed?...... A Scotsman chasing a penny down a rabbit hole.
 
Thom@s
Posts: 11674
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2000 2:03 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 7:19 am

Quoting Kiwiandrew (Reply 12):
nephews actually .

Exactly...  Wink

Anyway, this one is fun for football supporters (without blue kits)...



Made me laugh anyway... Big grin

Thom@s
"If guns don't kill people, people kill people - does that mean toasters don't toast toast, toast toast toast?"
 
Jamie757
Posts: 838
Joined: Wed Apr 27, 2005 8:33 pm

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 8:32 am

Here's one from the collection...

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother
couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been
suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only
made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started
to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be
thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother
came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle.
"You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Julie said, "Well, I doubt it, but
I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a
gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy
ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were
here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear
Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that
you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping
in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"


 Big grin

Rgds.
"I feel like a turkey who's just caught Bernard Matthews grinning at him!"
 
flyingbronco05
Posts: 3484
Joined: Fri May 10, 2002 11:43 am

RE: Joke And Funny Pictures Challenge

Wed Nov 08, 2006 10:34 am

The reason why #1 kept flaming out.....

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