LHMark
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Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Tue Nov 28, 2006 11:23 pm

What's the worst gift you've ever received/given/heard of? My buddy once received an electric quesadilla maker. Five years later, it's still in the box.
"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
 
Matt D
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 12:20 am

A framed portrait of Elvis along with a box of Hickory Farms assorted jams, jellies, and marmalades.
 
EasternSon
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 12:23 am

My sister, since she's a health nut, was given a contraption that allowed you to make your own organic yogurt at home.

The first ingredient listed was one quart of organic yogurt.

So, basically, in order to make organic yogurt at home, you first go to the store and buy organic yogurt and put it into the machine?
"The only people for me are the mad ones...." Jack Kerouac
 
Sabena332
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 12:27 am

A computer mouse with a Lufthansa logo on it -----> trash can.

Patrick
NZ1's mother is a disgusting crack-whore and his father is a worthless alcoholic!
 
Kieron747
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 1:01 am



Signed,

HPLASOps
Airliners.Net - The Jam Rag Of The Web.
 
aloges
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 2:37 am

Quoting EasternSon (Reply 2):
So, basically, in order to make organic yogurt at home, you first go to the store and buy organic yogurt and put it into the machine?

Shame... I thought people knew how yogurt is made.  no 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yogurt
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
EasternSon
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 5:23 am

Quoting Aloges (Reply 5):
Shame... I thought people knew how yogurt is made.

All yogurt is made from yogurt? Interesting. I guess you do learn something new every day.

But which came first, the yogurt or the yogurt?
"The only people for me are the mad ones...." Jack Kerouac
 
IFEMaster
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 5:35 am

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 4):

 rotfl  rotfl  rotfl  rotfl  rotfl  rotfl 

 highfive 

Brilliant!
Delivering Anecdotes of Dubious Relevance Since 1978
 
kmh1956
Posts: 2854
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 5:54 am

2 rolls of Rubbermaid shelf liner
'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
 
aloges
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 7:00 am

Quoting EasternSon (Reply 6):
But which came first, the yogurt or the yogurt?

The gerrrrmmmmsssss....  devil 
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
LHMark
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 7:02 am

Quoting EasternSon (Reply 6):
All yogurt is made from yogurt? Interesting. I guess you do learn something new every day.

Kind of makes you wonder on which day God created yogurt...
"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
 
aloges
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 7:06 am

Quoting LHMARK (Reply 10):
Kind of makes you wonder on which day God created yogurt...

Sixth day - why do you think did he have to rest on the seventh?
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
tz757300
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 7:16 am

Quoting LHMARK (Thread starter):
What's the worst gift you've ever received/given/heard of?

Recived:

Coal


Heard:

Flight trackers (snow globes)
LETS GO MOUNTAINEERS!
 
LHMark
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 7:41 am



Signed,
Birdwatching
"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
 
User avatar
OzarkD9S
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 6:53 pm

A dancing Santa that sings the most lame version of "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree" imaginable.

I am now a Buddhist.
Next up: STL-OAK-RNO-LAS-ICT-STL
 
andz
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 7:23 pm

I think the Bobby Gaylor song "Stop Giving Me Crap For Christmas" says it all...

Just when you think you know me
And I give you credit for being on the ball
Christmas rolls around, I open your gift
And I see, you don't know me at all
So if you don't listen to anything else
That I say all year long
Pay close attention to this
Because it's my real holiday wish

STOP GIVING ME USELESS CRAP FOR CHRISTMAS!

Forget the Clapper, I don't need to turn my lights off from bed
I don't want a Chia Dog, a Chia Sheep, a Chia Cow, or a Chia Head
And don't get some movie on video that's been marked down to $3.99
You wouldn't want to watch this piece of junk, why do you think I want to waste my time?
Now here's something that cuts me to the bone:
You order a subscription to Sports Illustrated,
You keep the magazine and give me the stupid football phone.
And I don't need Abs of Steel,
Buns of Steel,
Richard Simmons' Deal-a-Meal
Or absolutely anything made by Ron Popeil

STOP GIVING ME USELESS CRAP FOR CHRISTMAS!

(Chorus)
Stop giving me crap for Christmas
Useless crap
Stop giving me crap for Christmas

I don't need a radar detector, a compass, or a dashboard Jesus
Or my intestines bound up by a box of Hickory Farm Cheeses
I don't need the Showtime Oven that cooks, like, 2 ducks, 12 garlic bulbs, and a turkey
Or a food dehydrator if it dries fruit or beef jerky
And please, no wall-mounted or counter-top spice racks
Or the Ab Roller, Ab Slide, Ab Rocker, Ab Dolly or the Torso Track
No calendars featuring supermodel bimbos or babies in hats
And no Christmas music by the Jingle Dogs or the Jingle Cats
And ask me my size.
I'm tying my shirt so my fingers don't even poke out of the sleeves
And hey, isn't this the fruitcake Uncle Mike gave you last Christmas Eve?
And if you're even remotely thinking about getting me that singing, joke-telling, wall-mounted bass,
Just remember what that rhymes with, because that's where I'm gonna stick it.

STOP GIVING ME USELESS CRAP FOR CHRISTMAS!

(Chorus)

Alright, listen up.
I don't want anything proceeded by the word "decroative,"
Anything that comes with a stuffed bear or a troll doll that says "I love you."
No electronic devices that, when you push a button, say things like "Hey stupid!" or "Up yours!"
I don't want a pasta maker, a bread maker, a juice maker, a waffle maker, sandwich maker, salad maker, label maker, be a maker, wine maker,
Sausage maker, ice cream maker, pastry maker, salsa maker, coffee maker, sun tea maker
If I want that stuff, I'll buy it
I don't want anything that chops, beats, grinds, purees, minces, or slices
Cubes, shreds, blends, seperates, juliens, or dices
No 2-gallon bottles of generic shampoo "Now with 10% More!"
And nothing advertized with the slogan "Not available in any store!"
You know, they say it's the thought that counts,
So instead of making me cringe every year with what you bought,
Let's call it even forever and stop at the thought.

STOP GIVING ME USELESS CRAP FOR CHRISTMAS!

(Chorus)

Forget about the one-pount Hershey Kiss or the big pack of Life Savers,
And no smoked almonds in a dozen obscene artificial flavors,
I don't want a subscription to "Fielder's Dreams," "Sailing," or "Understanding Zen,"
And I stopped wearing pajamas when I was ten
And if you're thinking of anything from an infomercial by Tony Robbins, Body by Jake, Don Debris, Mary Lou Harris, Susanna Summers or Billy Blanks
I got two words for you: "No thanks!"
Here's something not to get me:
A coffee mug with a slogan that says something like,
"Don't talk to Bobby, he hasn't had his coffee yet."
You're an idiot!

(Repeat chorus until end)
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF...
 
Kieron747
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 7:52 pm

Quoting Aloges (Reply 5):
I thought people knew how yogurt is made.

This one's better.

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Yoghurt

Kieron747
Airliners.Net - The Jam Rag Of The Web.
 
RichardPrice
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:44 pm

I once got a £10.00 gift voucher for a shop that had closed down on Dec 24th.
 
ltbewr
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Wed Nov 29, 2006 10:42 pm

Quoting Andz (Reply 15):
I think the Bobby Gaylor song "Stop Giving Me Crap For Christmas" says it all...

Got a good laugh out of these lyrics  laughing  Good way to start the day. It certainly speaks the truth of the WTF/'What were they thinking' gifts we get every year. Perhaps we need to send these lyrics to all of our gift giving impaired relatives and friends.
In our family, we exchange ideas for gifts, sizes, preferred styles and so on well before Christmas to hopefully get what we want and need to reduce the risks of getting boobie gifts.
The worst is when you get a 'regift', some junk the giver got as a gift too (perhaps from you!). A gift should me something one can use, enjoy, benefit from. I tend to prefer dress shirts, casual shirts in my size, ties (not too many), every several years a jacket or coat, and what ever else is on my list. If you are really stumped, get them an American Express Gift Card, as can be used for almost anything, almost anywhere.

Some of the worst items I recall getting:
A reindeer shaped candy dispenser - it dispensed small round chocolate candies out it's...well...you know where. Then ended up in the garbage soon.
Shirts or sweaters of designs or colors I wouldn't be caught dead in. They ended up in the Salvation Army collection bin a few months later.
Aftershave, colonge, soap on a rope, usually of a cheap variety. Never use them as usually makes my skin break out.
Scarves - I already have enough so I could wear a different one each day for a week.
Various games, especially ones that are small, portable, with a lot of pieces. I never will use them.
Some of the items noted in the above song lyrics or like them.
 
User avatar
HAWK21M
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Thu Nov 30, 2006 12:17 am

Since its a gift & I dont choose it.To me all Gifts are Good,But I'd say some were UnImportant like a Bottle of Sand  Smile
regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
jamesbuk
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Joined: Mon May 02, 2005 11:52 pm

RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Thu Nov 30, 2006 1:27 am

Quoting RichardPrice (Reply 17):

Was that a music shop? as i got a £20 voucher for a music that shut down very close around christmas, I was hacked off a bit but got over it since it was only a crappy music store.  silly 

Rgds --James--
You cant have your cake and eat it... What the hells the point in having it then!!!
 
nkops
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Thu Nov 30, 2006 6:34 am

Fruitcake comes to mind....
:evil:
 
vivek0072
Posts: 283
Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2005 5:43 am

RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Fri Dec 01, 2006 3:04 am

We don't celebrate Christmas in the family but coincidentally it is my b'day. Some of the worst gifts were clothes that just don't fit, soft toys - who gifts soft toys to a guy ?
But the worst are b'day cards that have 'seasons greetings' written on them.
That life's most failures were people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up. - Edison.
 
Pope
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Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2005 5:57 am

RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Fri Dec 01, 2006 3:10 am

a combo black and white tv set, air compressor, and emergency flash light that my in-laws thought would be useful. I actually told my wife to have them take it back for a refund because it was like $90. What a waste!
Hypocrisy. It's the new black for liberals.
 
YYZflyer
Posts: 3516
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Fri Dec 01, 2006 7:41 am

Long-sleeved shirts. I don't like wearing the ones that are thin. Too uncomfortable. I get them from family every year, they just end up in my room somewhere. I don't wear them. Two or three years ago I told my parents that I didn't want presents anymore and that I wanted money. I still got the stocking things though. I have been saving my money for a looong time, now it's finally going to work to my benefit, on Dec 26 I'm buying a DSLR. Back then I didn't even have an interest in photography. So lucky me. Big grin
Avoid hangovers, stay drunk.
 
ZKSUJ
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Fri Dec 01, 2006 8:04 am

An IOU

Still waiting for the cash back...
 
Garri767
Posts: 2207
Joined: Sat Mar 26, 2005 2:00 pm

RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Fri Dec 01, 2006 9:31 am

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 4):

shouldnt that have been in the "Most helpful Gifts" thread?  Wink





Garri767
Two wrongs may not make a right, but three lefts do!
 
carmenlu15
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Fri Dec 01, 2006 5:44 pm

An el-cheapo plastic jewelry box, that I got on one of those Christmas gift exchange things at work. The minimum price we had all agreed on was disregarded...  irked 

Other than that, I can't think of much... clothes that clearly don't fit, maybe.
Don't expect to see me around that much (if at all) -- the contact link should still work, though.
 
Halcyon
Posts: 1622
Joined: Sat Jul 15, 2006 4:47 pm

RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Fri Dec 01, 2006 6:49 pm

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 16):
This one's better.

Hilarious! I clicked to the next link and then got to a page on Weird Al ( http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/%22Weird_Al%22_Yankovic )...must say it was a good read until I got to this part:

In recent years, Weird Al has removed the moustache, and, failing to be a prominent llama breeder, has devoted all his time to his wife Zelda and his two beautiful children, Nathanial and Superfly.  eyebrow 

However, I suppose this explains a lot.
 
Femme
Posts: 453
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Fri Dec 01, 2006 10:11 pm

Quoting Andz (Reply 15):
I think the Bobby Gaylor song "Stop Giving Me Crap For Christmas" says it all

 bigthumbsup  Brilliant!!!

Brut Aftershave for my dad who has had a beard for years  crazy 

One of those glass fish ornaments with the multi colours  yuck 

Half a car cleaning kit........Gawd knows where the rest of it went!!

His and hers bath towels - great for when you're decorating instead of dust sheets !!

Claire  Silly
Women don't have hot flushes, they have Power Surges....
 
GAIsweetGAI
Posts: 887
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RE: Worst/stupidest Cristmas Gift

Sat Dec 02, 2006 1:38 pm

How weird would a can of corn be? (It didn't happen, it's just a weird idea)
"There is an art, or rather a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

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