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PA110
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Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:07 am

OK, I'm bored, but I'm finding today's news headlines way too much fun.

From Associated Press:
A new television ad by the union-backed group WakeUpWalMart.com features a pastor asking, “Would Jesus shop at Wal-Mart? Should you?”

Accompanying the ad, is a letter to Wal-Mart Stores Inc. CEO Lee Scott that was signed by more than 130 clergy members. The letter asks Wal-Mart to provide a “higher standard for its employees and their families,” which the letter says would reflect “the best of Christian values.”


Now, I ask you... could this not be more perfect, or what?
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aloges
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:15 am

Quoting PA110 (Thread starter):
Now, I ask you... could this not be more perfect, or what?

 rotfl  Nice find! It would be so much easier if people were simply left alone to make up their mind about the stores they shop at. And I think the Bible isn't exactly clear on where to get your Mac 'n' Cheese - so maybe the folks who wrote its parts didn't think it was that important.  Wink
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
AsstChiefMark
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:17 am

Jesus was a Jewish carpenter. I think he'd be more inclined to shop at Home Depot.

Mark
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AirCop
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:52 am

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 2):
Jesus was a Jewish carpenter. I think he'd be more inclined to shop at Home Depot.

Mark

 bigthumbsup  Good one!
Bottom line, people are going to shop where ever they want to, regardless of one religious beliefs.
 
UH60FtRucker
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 7:56 am

Your men have to follow your orders. They don't have to go to your funeral.
 
nkops
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:23 am

Quoting PA110 (Thread starter):
A new television ad by the union-backed group WakeUpWalMart.com

When are they going to learn that Walmart will NEVER go union.... they would close before that happened...

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 2):
Jesus was a Jewish carpenter. I think he'd be more inclined to shop at Home Depot.

 rotfl 
:evil:
 
sylvcath
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:23 am

I am going to gather up all of my Asatru friends and write a petition to Wal-Mart asking them to please restore the values of our prechristian ancestors to their stores. This will include a Viking helmet (a real one, not the thing with horns that the cartoons portray) for the Smiley guy, who will slash prices in the name of Odin with his mighty broadsword.  Yeah sure

Quoting Aloges (Reply 1):
And I think the Bible isn't exactly clear on where to get your Mac 'n' Cheese - so maybe the folks who wrote its parts didn't think it was that important.

That was one of the parts of the "gnostic gospels" that the Council of Nicaea decided was "uninspired." Who knows, christians may have been eating the Devil's Noodles all this time and not even known it!
"sylvcath" = Sylvan Catharsis
 
TedTAce
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 8:35 am

Jesus shopping at wal mart... ok, lets start with the obvious.. how can someone who doesn't exist do anything?
Then even if he did exist; in this day and age who would believe he's nothing more then a Jewish carpenter?
Then because he is a carpenter who would give him a 'jesus worthy' job as he'd likely be a stoner?
The being said, where would he get the money to do anything but barely support himself?

People wonder why the second comming will result in our planet getting an enema... with as badly as we would treat jesus he'd be pretty effing pissed. Goodness knows I am!!!
This space intentionally left blank
 
AsstChiefMark
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 9:01 am

Quoting UH60FtRucker (Reply 4):
UH60FtRucker

I like this one better.  Silly



Mark
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galaxy5
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 9:06 am

"Then even if he did exist; in this day and age who would believe he's nothing more then a Jewish carpenter?"

There is plenty of evidence to suggest the existance of Jesus, now was he the son of god and the messiah, thats when faith comes into play. But Jesus the man did exist.
"damn, I didnt know prince could Ball like that" - Charlie Murphy
 
aa757first
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 10:24 am

Quoting AirCop (Reply 3):
Bottom line, people are going to shop where ever they want to, regardless of one religious beliefs.

The commercial does have a point.

The Roman Catholic Church is very much an advocate for social justice. The Church and affiliated bodies (like the United States Council of Bishops) strongly support increasing the minimum wage, socialistic health care, etc.

Needless to say, I don't think Wal-Mart confers to the standards the Catholic Church sets for large employers.

I don't shop at Wal-Mart mainly for ethical reasons, it just so happens that the Church and I share this view. That being said, it is very difficult to separate your religious beliefs from your ethical and moral beliefs.

Quoting Nkops (Reply 5):

When are they going to learn that Walmart will NEVER go union.... they would close before that happened...

Yes, Wal-Mart would shut the entire company down before negotiating with a union. That makes excellent business sense.

AAndrew
 
Sabena332
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 10:35 am

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 8):
I like this one better.

The best one is:



 Big grin

Patrick
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AsstChiefMark
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 10:36 am

Quoting Sabena332 (Reply 12):
The best one is

Yes, it is.  rotfl 

Mark
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AsstChiefMark
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:10 am

Jesus Goes to WalMart

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36-2v7gow8o

And now, for something totally different...



[Edited 2006-12-14 03:32:56]
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Dougloid
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:45 am

Quoting Galaxy5 (Reply 9):
There is plenty of evidence to suggest the existance of Jesus, now was he the son of god and the messiah, thats when faith comes into play. But Jesus the man did exist.

Yep....right there in the writings of Flavius Josephus.
If you believe in coincidence, you haven't looked close enough-Joe Leaphorn
 
L-188
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 11:51 am

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 2):
Jesus was a Jewish carpenter. I think he'd be more inclined to shop at Home Depot.

Damm you beat me to it!!!

I had the exact same thought when I read the thread title.

Remember a few years ago that idiot claimed that Jesus would drive an economy car because of the milage?

Same deal, there is no way that a carpenter is going to get all of his tools in the back of a Honda Civic. Jesus would drive a Ford E-350 van.
OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
 
nkops
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 6:43 pm

Quoting Aa757first (Reply 10):
Yes, Wal-Mart would shut the entire company down before negotiating with a union. That makes excellent business sense.

I meant just a store, not the whole company... they tried it in Canada somewhere and Wal-mart just closed the store... my post wasn't clear enough, sorry!!
:evil:
 
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OzarkD9S
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Thu Dec 14, 2006 9:15 pm

Quoting Aa757first (Reply 10):


The Roman Catholic Church is very much an advocate for social justice.

Unless you're gay.
Next up: STL-OAK-RNO-LAS-ICT-STL
 
luv2fly
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Fri Dec 15, 2006 10:19 am

You can cut the irony with a knife
 
luv2fly
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Fri Dec 15, 2006 10:23 am

Quoting Aa757first (Reply 10):
The Roman Catholic Church is very much an advocate for social justice. The Church and affiliated bodies (like the United States Council of Bishops) strongly support increasing the minimum wage, socialistic health care, etc.

Unless of course you are GAY and not a priest!
You can cut the irony with a knife
 
zippyjet
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:12 pm

Why not? In addition to Jesus, Moses, Abraham, Issac and Jacob would be attracted to the little smiley faces and falling prices. And all of the above might just throw some blessings to those beseiged Wal Mart greeters. They would probably lose their luch though at those creepy Amway style rah rah rah
clappy clap sessions. However, I'm just guessing and not judging.
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jwenting
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:16 pm

When will the left learn that Walmart actually has BETTER pay and work conditions than many similar chains that are ruled by the unions?
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AeroWesty
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:28 pm

First we have this:

Quoting PA110 (Thread starter):
Accompanying the ad, is a letter to Wal-Mart Stores Inc. CEO Lee Scott that was signed by more than 130 clergy members. The letter asks Wal-Mart to provide a “higher standard for its employees and their families,” which the letter says would reflect “the best of Christian values.”

Then we have this:

Quoting Jwenting (Reply 21):
When will the left learn

Please explain which part of "the left" these 130 clergy members reflecting "the best of Christian values" represent.
International Homo of Mystery
 
Coz
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:37 pm

 
ctbarnes
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:41 pm

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 2):
Jesus was a Jewish carpenter. I think he'd be more inclined to shop at Home Depot.

Nah. I have it on good authority Jesus shops at Lowes.

Charles, SJ

PS: Always look on the bright side of life, ta do, ta do ta do ta do...
The customer isn't a moron, she is your wife -David Ogilvy
 
Coz
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:45 pm


 laughing 

I'm goin' to hell

 flamed   hot   melting 
 
ctbarnes
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:48 pm

Quoting Coz (Reply 25):
I'm goin' to hell

Tsk, tsk, tsk. What would the Great Pumpkin think?

Charles, SJ
The customer isn't a moron, she is your wife -David Ogilvy
 
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fanoftristars
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:49 pm

One of my favorite quotes:

"The other day I was at Wal-Mart, which is where everyone goes eventually, if they die without Christ..."
-Emo Phillips


God Wal-Mart is truly hell, especially this time of season!
"FLY DELTA JETS"
 
Coz
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Fri Dec 15, 2006 2:52 pm

 
CastleIsland
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Sat Dec 16, 2006 3:35 am

I'm gonna have to go shop at Wal*Mart for some new underwear, 'cause I've pissed meself reading this thread.
 rotfl 
"People don't do what they believe in, they just do what's most convenient, then they repent." - Dylan
 
Coz
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Sat Dec 16, 2006 3:53 am

Quoting CastleIsland (Reply 29):
I'm gonna have to go shop at Wal*Mart for some new underwear, 'cause I've pissed meself reading this thread.

Now that I think of it, I've got to give the Christians credit for being so tolerant of such antics. If this had been a thread poking fun at another unnamed religion, we'd have witnessed flag burnings, killing in the streets and threats of attack. I'm impressed; my hat's off to you Christians.  Smile

Now CastleIsland, I hear they have a great deal on lace panties this week. You'd best hurry yourself up.
 
CastleIsland
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Sat Dec 16, 2006 4:19 am

Quoting Coz (Reply 30):
Now that I think of it, I've got to give the Christians credit for being so tolerant of such antics. If this had been a thread poking fun at another unnamed religion, we'd have witnessed flag burnings, killing in the streets and threats of attack. I'm impressed; my hat's off to you Christians.

 checkmark 

Quoting Coz (Reply 30):
Now CastleIsland, I hear they have a great deal on lace panties this week. You'd best hurry yourself up.


 gnasher 
"People don't do what they believe in, they just do what's most convenient, then they repent." - Dylan
 
ilikeyyc
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Sat Dec 16, 2006 4:43 am

Jesus never made political statements and I believe that if He were alive today, Jesus would shop at Wal*Mart. Its not His style to start or participate in political boycotts for Earthly affairs. Remember, He often ate with the tax collectors.

Fighting Absurdity with Absurdity!
 
Coz
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Sat Dec 16, 2006 4:43 am

Quoting CastleIsland (Reply 31):


I am deeply offended at that.

This is you:

 
DLPMMM
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Sat Dec 16, 2006 6:38 am

Quoting Aa757first (Reply 10):
The commercial does have a point.

The Roman Catholic Church is very much an advocate for social justice. The Church and affiliated bodies (like the United States Council of Bishops) strongly support increasing the minimum wage, socialistic health care, etc.

Needless to say, I don't think Wal-Mart confers to the standards the Catholic Church sets for large employers.

If the Catholic Church knows so much about how to run large chains of discount stores, then I suggest that they either open up competing stores (not exempt from taxes as their church is), or STFU!

Quoting Jwenting (Reply 21):
When will the left learn that Walmart actually has BETTER pay and work conditions than many similar chains that are ruled by the unions?

Quite true. Wal-Mart is just a good political target for media whores (just as the group in this case).

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 22):
Please explain which part of "the left" these 130 clergy members reflecting "the best of Christian values" represent

These are probably the same clergy members who's "the best in Christian values" include molesting little boys in the apse. If they can better run a store, they should make like Jesus and lead by example by opening a chain of stores and running Wal-Mart out of business.
 
aa757first
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:26 am

Quoting DLPMMM (Reply 34):

If the Catholic Church knows so much about how to run large chains of discount stores, then I suggest that they either open up competing stores (not exempt from taxes as their church is), or STFU!

The Church isn't actually in the discount store business.

And read the post again, please. I've never heard a Church official comment on Wal-Mart. However, Wal-Mart does not really live up to the standards I think the Church would hold them to.

AAndrew
 
sprout5199
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Sat Dec 16, 2006 9:21 am

Big question I have is if Jesus did shop at wal*mart and wrote a check, would they ask for 2 forms of ID?

Does his money say "in dad we trust"?

As a father, I dont think I would trust Jesus going out with my daughters, just look at him. Long hair, sandals, toga. I don't care if your mom was a virgin, you are not going out with my daughter, I want her to be a virgin also.

Ok, now I am worried about the bolt of lighting that is sure to hit me soon.

Dan in Jupiter
 
strasserb
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Sat Dec 16, 2006 12:33 pm

Proofed:

Still, even in the most arid desert is an airport somewhere ...
 
fly_yhm
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:30 pm

Better Question
Would a Muslim shop at walmart with a Christmas tree?
Where will you spend eternity? He,s more real then you think!!!!!
 
strasserb
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Sat Dec 16, 2006 2:24 pm

Quoting Fly_yhm (Reply 38):
Would a Muslim shop at walmart with a Christmas tree?

That is just another question and btw it is out of topic.

 yes 
Still, even in the most arid desert is an airport somewhere ...
 
wunala
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Sat Dec 16, 2006 7:46 pm

Quoting OzarkD9S (Reply 17):
Quoting Aa757first (Reply 10):


The Roman Catholic Church is very much an advocate for social justice.

Unless you're gay.

Or you are in the church and have been a little too familiar with children.
 
Kay
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Sun Dec 17, 2006 7:15 am

The cartoons of Jesus combined with LOL every 2 sentences is hilarious!

Kay
 
helvknight
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Mon Dec 18, 2006 12:46 am

Only if they were doing a rollback on loaves and fishes.

btw

Quoting Fly_yhm (Reply 38):
Would a Muslim shop at walmart with a Christmas tree?

Since Jesus is also a prophet in Islam, probably yes. The Son of God bit they have a problem with but as a prophet JC is right up there with Mohammed and Moses.
I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member - Groucho Marx
 
qr332
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:26 am

Quoting Helvknight (Reply 42):
Since Jesus is also a prophet in Islam, probably yes. The Son of God bit they have a problem with but as a prophet JC is right up there with Mohammed and Moses.

And plus, I am in a 90%+ Muslim country and we have Christmas trees everywhere. Hell, there were some Qatari guys humming jingle bells next to me in a store today!
"The greatest threat to knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."
 
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scbriml
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Mon Dec 18, 2006 11:10 pm

Quoting QR332 (Reply 43):
And plus, I am in a 90%+ Muslim country and we have Christmas trees everywhere. Hell, there were some Qatari guys humming jingle bells next to me in a store today!

Just about the same here in Dubai! While the US and Europe go round wishing folks "Happy Holidays" for fear of offending non-Christians, here in a Muslim country every shop has big "Happy Christmas" signs up. scratchchin 
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana!
 
DLPMMM
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Tue Dec 19, 2006 5:44 am

Quoting Aa757first (Reply 35):
Wal-Mart does not really live up to the standards I think the Church would hold them to.

Not living up to the standards that you think a bunch of child molesters would have them live up to eh?

The Catholic Church has already lost all moral credibility in my eyes.
 
aa757first
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RE: Would Jesus Shop At Wal-Mart?

Tue Dec 19, 2006 6:33 am

Quoting DLPMMM (Reply 45):

Not living up to the standards that you think a bunch of child molesters would have them live up to eh?

Yes, every single person that is part of the Catholic Church is a child molester. No exceptions.  sarcastic 

AAndrew

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