Daleaholic
Topic Author
Posts: 2653
Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2005 9:38 am

Sick Jokes

Sat Dec 16, 2006 12:03 am

Haven't had one for a while so thought I'd get one rolling...

Forewarning... If you are easily offended... DO NOT READ ON!
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Q. Did you hear about the dyslexic Santa?


A. He's going around Ipswich leaving prossies under the trees .



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bernard Matthews has put up a £10,000 reward for the arrest of East Anglia prostitute killer.

He commented "I've been strangling birds here for years, this is my patch."

Let's hear yours!!! Big grin
Religion is an illusion of childhood... Outgrown under proper education.
 
strasserb
Posts: 1497
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:46 pm

RE: Sick Jokes

Sat Dec 16, 2006 12:16 am

Still, even in the most arid desert is an airport somewhere ...
 
bagpiper
Posts: 1050
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2006 11:24 pm

RE: Sick Jokes

Sat Dec 16, 2006 12:23 am

Quoting StrasserB (Reply 1):

I agree.

Maybe he's drunk. Or been up for 15 hours.
 
Daleaholic
Topic Author
Posts: 2653
Joined: Sat Oct 29, 2005 9:38 am

RE: Sick Jokes

Sat Dec 16, 2006 12:36 am

Quoting Bagpiper (Reply 2):
Maybe he's drunk. Or been up for 15 hours.

Perhaps you don't watch the news... OR read the newspaper.
Religion is an illusion of childhood... Outgrown under proper education.
 
Speedbirdie
Posts: 873
Joined: Mon May 15, 2006 5:11 am

RE: Sick Jokes

Sat Dec 16, 2006 12:46 am

No, i get it. Ive had about half a million text jokes from Lew about these Ipswich murders!! Infact, I got one about 20 mins ago from him!
My fav one is this one tho...

You think its cold outside? Its Minus 5 in Ipswich at the moment....
Never give up..
 
strasserb
Posts: 1497
Joined: Fri Nov 11, 2005 7:46 pm

RE: Sick Jokes

Sat Dec 16, 2006 12:52 am

Quoting Daleaholic (Reply 3):
OR read the newspaper.

OK, I googled for that text and got this one:

Still, even in the most arid desert is an airport somewhere ...
 
9V
Posts: 1368
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:35 am

RE: Sick Jokes

Sat Dec 16, 2006 12:54 am

I know I shouldn't but...

 
EWS
Posts: 3369
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 6:41 am

RE: Sick Jokes

Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:00 am

Quoting 9V (Reply 6):
I know I shouldn't but...

 rotf !

Quoting Speedbirdie (Reply 4):
No, i get it. Ive had about half a million text jokes from Lew about these Ipswich murders!! Infact, I got one about 20 mins ago from him!

yes and i got half a million replies "You sick bastard!"

Lew  cheerful 
 
9V
Posts: 1368
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:35 am

RE: Sick Jokes

Sat Dec 16, 2006 1:13 am

I like this one.

 
User avatar
nighthawk
Posts: 4767
Joined: Sun Sep 16, 2001 2:33 am

RE: Sick Jokes

Sat Dec 16, 2006 2:50 am

Whats the difference between Mr Kipling and the Ipswich Ripper??

Mr Kipling puts 6 tarts in a box....

-------------

Ipswich Rugby Club has had to cancel the remainder of the season. Apparently they are experiencing a shortage of hookers.

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JOB VACANCY
Position: Prostitute
Location: Ipswich
Description: Excellent pay, but the shifts are murder!
 
9V
Posts: 1368
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2008 10:35 am

RE: Sick Jokes

Sat Dec 16, 2006 2:55 am

I just made this!

 
EWS
Posts: 3369
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 6:41 am

RE: Sick Jokes

Sat Dec 16, 2006 2:59 am

Quoting 9V (Reply 10):
I just made this!

Where did you get that photograph of MYT332 waiting for the 1103 Glasgow - Longdon train?  rotf 

Lew
 
User avatar
scbriml
Posts: 13251
Joined: Wed Jul 02, 2003 10:37 pm

RE: Sick Jokes

Sat Dec 16, 2006 3:06 am

Quoting Daleaholic (Thread starter):
Q. Did you hear about the dyslexic Santa?

A. He's going around Ipswich leaving prossies under the trees .

 rotfl 
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana!
 
jamesbuk
Posts: 3712
Joined: Mon May 02, 2005 11:52 pm

RE: Sick Jokes

Sat Dec 16, 2006 3:24 am

Ipswich FC have had to cancel there up coming game due to a dyslexic muderer killing or the substitutes.  silly 

rgds --James--

P.S. the old ipswich ones are getting round quick!
You cant have your cake and eat it... What the hells the point in having it then!!!
 
zippyjet
Posts: 5077
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2001 3:32 pm

RE: Sick Jokes

Sun Dec 17, 2006 7:13 am

OK, moving right along.... I believe it was the latest FHM issue the joke of the month. The guy/gal wins like some kind of Sharper Image thingy...

A man is dead and is in hell with the devil. There are three doors. The devil being in a generous mood asks this guy to pick one. The guy opens the first door and there is a man hanging by the neck being bar b qued by fire. The guy says no thanks. The devil then opens door number 2, there is some poor soul being tortured. The guy tells the devil no thanks.
Door number three is opened and there is a hottie blonde woman giving a big ass hairy fat guy amazing head. The guy smiles at the devil and says, I'll take door number three!
And......

the devil tells the hottie chick. You can stop now, your relief is here!

I guess if this guy didn't have shitty luck he'd have no luck at all.

Happy holidays to all! From
Big version: Width: 462 Height: 150 File size: 17kb
I'm Zippyjet & I approve of this message!
 
BHXFAOTIPYYC
Posts: 1442
Joined: Sat Jun 25, 2005 5:47 am

RE: Sick Jokes

Sun Dec 17, 2006 7:48 am

Books unlikely to be on sale this Christmas....

Big version: Width: 192 Height: 286 File size: 39kb


Big version: Width: 238 Height: 339 File size: 9kb
Breakfast in BHX, lunch in FAO, dinner in TIP, baggage in YYC.
 
AsstChiefMark
Posts: 10465
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2004 2:14 pm

RE: Sick Jokes

Sun Dec 17, 2006 8:20 am

Buy Your Ex the perfect Christmas present ... Black boots, short leather miniskirt, fishnet stockings, and a one-way ticket To Ipswich.

Mark
Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Damned MSP...Red tail...Red tail
 
EWS
Posts: 3369
Joined: Tue Mar 07, 2006 6:41 am

RE: Sick Jokes

Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:21 am

Quoting BHXFAOTIPYYC (Reply 15):

 rotf  Oh My...

Lew
 
User avatar
scbriml
Posts: 13251
Joined: Wed Jul 02, 2003 10:37 pm

RE: Sick Jokes

Mon Dec 18, 2006 12:39 am

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 16):
Buy Your Ex the perfect Christmas present ... Black boots, short leather miniskirt, fishnet stockings, and a one-way ticket To Ipswich.

 spit  rotfl 
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana!

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