Trading Standard Officers have ordered the urgent recall of a defective
product found to be faulty and dangerous.
Over the Christmas and New Year period, tests proved the components in the
product called "Chelsea FC" would fall apart when placed under the smallest
amount of pressure. Consumers first experienced problems last year, when it
was noted the product failed to work properly in Europe.
Complaints were made about it malfunctioning and then emitting a continuous
whining noise - usually in Portuguese. At the time the
complaints were ignored. But when the product started falling apart in
Britain over Christmas, the Trading Standards Authority took action. A
spokesman warned: "We particularly want to stress to parents that, with
"Chelsea FC", there is a genuine risk of choking that may end in tears come
Despite assurances from the company behind the product that action was
taken to correct the faulty parts, including abandoning the use of the
highly unpredictable and sub-standard component "Robert Huth", malfunctions
have continued. Consumers have been urged to check the small print
carefully for the words "this product may contain traces of Shevchenko". If
that is the case buyers of the product are urged to put it back in its box
and return immediately. "Shevchenko" has been known to cause a severe
allergic reaction in many consumers, causing them to shout involuntarily
"You useless Ukranian t**t" and "For f*** sake, bring back Carlton Cole."