fumanchewd
Posts: 2878
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Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:10 am

I had a date a few weeks ago with a beautiful girl who has recently purchased a puppy. Its a large breed and pretty big for its age-its huuuge puppy paws are frightening. So after an evening of dinner, sweaty groping, flailing body parts, and curious looks by the watching dog I passed out in her bed- extremely tired and drunk.

I woke up the next morning spooning this girl with her in front of me at around 0800 hot as hell and sweaty. It felt as though a heavy blanket was clinging to my back. I turned a little bit and looked behind me only to look into the beautiful brown eyes of her puppy. Her eyes were wide open looking into mine as I turned and I swear she was sneering. Her front leg was thrown over my shoulder and she was spooning me from behind. I was essentially the meat in a spooning sandwich and the worst part is I don't remember how far I let the dog go. I feel so cheap and degraded.  Wink Everytime time I think about that night I can't help recalling those huge paws groping me.

I seriously do not like dating women who allow dogs in their bed.
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
carmenlu15
Posts: 4517
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RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:12 am

Cue Gkirk jokes in 5... 4... 3... 2...  duck 
Don't expect to see me around that much (if at all) -- the contact link should still work, though.
 
NeilYYZ
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RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:14 am

Well now, that's a story I might not have made public.

Look at the bright side, at least it was a female dog, a male dog and you might have had a problem.

PS - Go to a vet and get checked for fleas.
It may be too early to drink scotch... But it is NEVER too early to think about it...
 
Tom in NO
Posts: 6725
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RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:17 am

Why is it that after reading this thread I can't get the term "doggie style" out of my mind?  confused 

Tom at MSY
"The criminal ineptitude makes you furious"-Bruce Springsteen, after seeing firsthand the damage from Hurricane Katrina
 
andessmf
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RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:19 am

Doesn't beat my story.

Girlfriend in the apartment, early 1994. We go in the bedroom, leaving my cat behind. So the cat starts meowing (very annoying) and I let her in so we can continue. So said cat parks herself in a way that anything 'hanging' is within easy reach...

Being a cautious man, I removed myself from possible danger ASAP, as I saw her intently staring and certain moving parts, and I was not letting her pounce on anything.
 
fumanchewd
Posts: 2878
Joined: Fri Jun 03, 2005 7:43 am

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:23 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 4):
Being a cautious man, I removed myself from possible danger ASAP, as I saw her intently staring and certain moving parts, and I was not letting her pounce on anything.

Thats what you get for using catnip to get rid of jock itch.  Smile
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
IAH777
Posts: 2810
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RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:25 am

The wife's dog is a panty raider and its always an underwear scavenger hunt to recover wayward drawers afterward. My shepherd just tries to put herself in the middle of the action. Stupid dogs.
 
cedars747
Posts: 2584
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RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:26 am

Quoting Fumanchewd (Thread starter):
Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?



OH NOOOO

Alex!!!
Tengo una pasion por la aviacion /لدي شغف للطيران / I have a passion for aviation /Jeg har en lidenskap for luftfart/ J'ai une passion pour l'aviation.
 
searpqx
Posts: 4173
Joined: Thu Jun 29, 2000 10:36 am

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:32 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 4):
Doesn't beat my story.

Is there a situation where you don't have a sex story? Should we perhaps make sure you're not Westy's straight alter-ego?  Wink

I raised a wolf cub many years ago, and as wolves tend to do, he rapidly grew to about 3.5ft at the shoulder. Though he was never allowed on the bed, he'd still try, except as he got older and stronger, his attempts to leap onto the bed became leaps over the bed. We decided it was time to lock him out of the bedroom when one of his leaps coincided with our own afternoon romp. Having 110 lbs of fur and claws land on my back added a whole new dimension to our play!
"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
 
stlgph
Posts: 9179
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RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:32 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 4):
Girlfriend in the apartment, early 1994

hrmm. interesting.

weren't you married in 1990 though?

;p
if assumptions could fly, airliners.net would be the world's busiest airport
 
andessmf
Posts: 5689
Joined: Wed Jan 25, 2006 8:53 am

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:38 am

Quoting Searpqx (Reply 8):
Is there a situation where you don't have a sex story?

No.

Quoting Searpqx (Reply 8):
Should we perhaps make sure you're not Westy's straight alter-ego?

Thanks for the compliment! That's my new nickname.

Quoting STLGph (Reply 9):

weren't you married in 1990 though?

May 24, 1997.

Celebrate 10 years soon!

That g/f was the one who helped me become a 'better' man, so if it wasn't for her, I would have never married my wife. She is a woman that gave any man only one chance for a good impression, and I passed the test.
 
AeroWesty
Posts: 19551
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2004 7:37 am

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:42 am

Quoting Fumanchewd (Thread starter):
I feel so cheap and degraded.

Wait, wait, I thought *we* did that to you.

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 4):

"We go in the bedroom, leaving my cat pussy behind."

Quoting Searpqx (Reply 8):
Is there a situation where you don't have a sex story?

At least he's trying to keep up.  Wink

I think I've said before, my hunk of fluff likes to sit on the edge of the bed while I'm having sex, gets quite cross if we try to shoo him away, and digs his paws under the door if I toss him out of the room and shut the door behind him.
International Homo of Mystery
 
stlgph
Posts: 9179
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 4:19 pm

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:45 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 10):
May 24, 1997

wow.

i was at the Fleetwood Mac concert at Warner Brothers studios that night in Los Angeles

"The Dance" if you've ever seen it.
if assumptions could fly, airliners.net would be the world's busiest airport
 
AeroWesty
Posts: 19551
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RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:49 am

Quoting AndesSMF (Reply 10):
May 24, 1997.

Oh dear, I just looked up where I was that night, and it wasn't a Fleetwood Mac concert.
International Homo of Mystery
 
IAH777
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RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:55 am

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 13):
Oh dear, I just looked up where I was that night, and it wasn't a Fleetwood Mac concert.

 laughing  You're a Queerwolf!  rotfl 
 
AsstChiefMark
Posts: 10465
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RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:55 am

When my gf and I got intimate, my first starling would get upset, start calling out, and finally take to flight. He'd always land on my back and let loose with a wad of runny bird shit. Does that count?

Mark

(edit: details)

[Edited 2007-03-23 22:57:45]
Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Damned MSP...Red tail...Red tail
 
AeroWesty
Posts: 19551
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2004 7:37 am

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:57 am

Quoting IAH777 (Reply 14):
You're a Queerwolf!

Bitch.

Quoting Fumanchewd (Thread starter):
Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?  

What A Nice Baby Bear! (by ME AVN FAN Mar 22 2007 in Non Aviation)

Signed,
ME AVN FAN
International Homo of Mystery
 
767Lover
Posts: 3254
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 6:32 am

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 6:17 am

I will admit to spooning the dog (fully dressed, mind you).

She'll be laying on the floor in her bed and I like to lay down next to her, She is about the right size for me to put an arm across her chest and spoon her.

Am I a freak?  worried 
 
fumanchewd
Posts: 2878
Joined: Fri Jun 03, 2005 7:43 am

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 6:23 am

Quoting 767Lover (Reply 17):
Am I a freak?

No. But if you respond to her licks with licks, yes.

Do you "zurbert" (sp?) her belly too?
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
fumanchewd
Posts: 2878
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RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:25 am

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 15):
When my gf and I got intimate, my first starling would get upset, start calling out, and finally take to flight. He'd always land on my back and let loose with a wad of runny bird shit. Does that count?

Sure, why not? We're all pretty open minded and some people are into scat.
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
AsstChiefMark
Posts: 10465
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2004 2:14 pm

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 8:29 am

Quoting Fumanchewd (Reply 19):
Sure, why not? We're all pretty open minded and some people are into scat.

But I'm not. That bird sure knew how to ruin an evening.
Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Red tail...Damned MSP...Red tail...Red tail
 
767Lover
Posts: 3254
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 6:32 am

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 9:45 am

Quoting Fumanchewd (Reply 18):
Do you "zurbert" (sp?) her belly too?

 rotfl  Not her belly, but we've zurbeted her on her forehead and it freaks her out.
 
User avatar
RobK
Posts: 3255
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RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 2:11 pm

"Ever have a threesome with a pet?"



 confused 

R
 
lehpron
Posts: 6846
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RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 5:28 pm

This is what I see at the bottom:



Reply To: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?
The meaning of life is curiosity; we were put on this planet to explore opportunities.
 
RobertNL070
Posts: 4160
Joined: Mon Sep 22, 2003 4:29 am

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 6:10 pm

Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 15):
runny bird shit.



Quoting AsstChiefMark (Reply 15):
(edit: details)

Very nice. Thank you.  sarcastic   Wink

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 13):
May 24, 1997.

Oh dear, I just looked up where I was that night, and it wasn't a Fleetwood Mac concert.

Was that the last time you had sex then?  Wow!  duck 

Robert
Youth is a gift of nature. Age is a work of art.
 
767Lover
Posts: 3254
Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 6:32 am

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sat Mar 24, 2007 9:08 pm

Quoting Fumanchewd (Thread starter):
I passed out in her bed- extremely tired and drunk.

You sound like every woman's dream.
 
AeroWesty
Posts: 19551
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2004 7:37 am

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sun Mar 25, 2007 7:30 am

Quoting RobertNL070 (Reply 24):
Was that the last time you had sex then?

::smack smack smack::

No, actually, I was strung out on a host of psychotic drugs they were trying on me that weekend as a result of a bad reaction to having taken thyroid for the first time a few weeks prior. It turned out it was just an overdose of thyroid, but lithium, etc. when you're not bipolar is a fairly wild ride. Big grin

I ended up in the emergency psych dept. of the local hospital that night--my doctor at the time was so inept, he'd prescribed Ambien to take once every 4 hours. The pharmacy didn't even catch the error.  Wow! They had me dump all my scripts from him into the toilet with a nurse watching, then they gave me a bunch of scripts for all new drugs, which were even more fun (NOT), since they were treating something I didn't have. Emergency psychiatrists give out the most interesting medications, let me tell you!
International Homo of Mystery
 
AvObserver
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Joined: Sat Apr 06, 2002 7:40 am

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sun Mar 25, 2007 8:35 am

Quoting 767Lover (Reply 17):
Am I a freak?

No, just a bit sick. Is there any limit to the level of depravity discussed here? Fumanchewed, I'd not have disclosed such an incident if I'd been you; in fact, I'd have tried to forget about is soon as possible. Hope it hasn't scarred you for life.  vomit 
 
AeroWesty
Posts: 19551
Joined: Sat Oct 30, 2004 7:37 am

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sun Mar 25, 2007 8:37 am

Quoting AvObserver (Reply 27):
Is there any limit to the level of depravity discussed here?

No, and I like it that way.

Signed,
STLGph's last trick.
International Homo of Mystery
 
stlgph
Posts: 9179
Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 4:19 pm

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sun Mar 25, 2007 8:43 am

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 28):
No, and I like it that way.

Signed,
STLGph's last trick.

so .. um ... speaking of this pet 3 way ... anybody ever had a situation where the dog was better hung?
if assumptions could fly, airliners.net would be the world's busiest airport
 
fumanchewd
Posts: 2878
Joined: Fri Jun 03, 2005 7:43 am

RE: Ever Have A Threesome With A Pet?

Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:55 am

Quoting AvObserver (Reply 27):
Hope it hasn't scarred you for life.

Not really. I'll get over it I suppose. I'll sleep with anything as long as it doesn't give me hoof and mouth.  Wow! Can that be transmitted orally?

As for scarring, I think that the girl scarred my back and not the dog. I am keeping an eye open for symptoms of ringworm though.
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...

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