brons2
Posts: 2462
Joined: Tue Sep 25, 2001 1:02 pm

Paris Hilton's Mental Problems Revealed (joke)

Sun Jun 10, 2007 10:54 am

*Beverly Hills Nervosa: Tremors associated with residing outside the 90210 zip code
*Follicle Phobia: Fear of combing her own hair
*Congenital Servantitis: Catatonic state caused by separation from hot and cold running servants
*Media Aphasia: Inability to speak with anyone not wearing a press badge
*Jumpsuit Fever: Shortness of breath from wearing ugly clothing
*Disconjunctivitis: Inability to look at regular people
*Postparty Psychosis: Separation anxiety when deprived of room service
*Stockholm Syndrome: Addiction to Swedish masseuse
*Deep Vain Thrombosis: Compulsive need for a mirror
*Hyperactive Credit Card: Incurable Rodeo Drive shopping fetish
*Munchausen’s Syndrome: Inability to function in a room without a minibar
*Evian’s Disease: Inability to swallow tap water
*Wolfgang Puck Neurosis: Refusal to eat at an uncatered event
*Viral Celebrity Psychosis: Spending excessive time with a publicist and hangers-on
*Spinal Muscular Atrophy: Inability to do the time when she did the crime
Firings, if well done, are good for employee morale.
 
connies4ever
Posts: 3393
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 10:54 pm

RE: Paris Hilton's Mental Problems Revealed (joke)

Sun Jun 10, 2007 8:47 pm

Outstanding Brons2 ! These will be circulated at work tomorrow.

My main concern in the whole thing is, why are we paying ANY attention to this ditz ?
She's not attractive, apparently not intelligent, and apparently does not understand the consequences of her actions.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
 
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aerorobnz
Posts: 7488
Joined: Sat Feb 10, 2001 3:43 pm

RE: Paris Hilton's Mental Problems Revealed (joke)

Sun Jun 10, 2007 8:54 pm

Quoting Connies4ever (Reply 1):
She's not attractive, apparently not intelligent, and apparently does not understand the consequences of her actions.

And she weighs over 100 pounds, so she can't come to my party
signed,
Nicole Ritchie
Flown to 120 Airports in 44 Countries on 73 Operators. Visited 55 Countries and counting. Wanderlust is like Syphilis, once you have the itch it's too late for treatment.
 
ConcordeBoy
Posts: 16852
Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2001 8:04 am

RE: Paris Hilton's Mental Problems Revealed (joke)

Mon Jun 11, 2007 4:18 am

Quoting Connies4ever (Reply 1):
and apparently does not understand the consequences of her actions.

...almost cant stop but think of the Oompa Loompa song from about the brat kid:
when it finally dawned on Paris Hilton that she was not figureskating her way outta this, what's the only thing she's immediately capable of processing-- a cry for mommy.

As if the way the mother acted during the initial sentence wasn't evidence enough, THAT was more than conclusive as to the true source of this wildchild's seeming inability to handle reality.
Faire du ciel le plus bel endroit de la terre c'est impossible sans Concorde!
 
BMIFlyer
Posts: 8065
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 7:11 am

RE: Paris Hilton's Mental Problems Revealed (joke)

Mon Jun 11, 2007 5:06 am

Nice One, i'm sure the "Anti Paris" squad would no doubt approve  Wink




Lee
Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own
 
connies4ever
Posts: 3393
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 10:54 pm

RE: Paris Hilton's Mental Problems Revealed (joke)

Mon Jun 11, 2007 7:01 am

Actually, I can see this working out for Ms Hilton:

--book deal "My Life Behind Bars" (as opposed to being AT one)
--made for TV movie (hoping w/o her playing herself)
--making the rounds of the talk shows (pray to God Paula Zahn doesn't interview her - airhead central)
--hyping her next CD (should any label actually sign her)

Not that I'm being cynical.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
 
ThePalauan
Posts: 158
Joined: Thu Oct 12, 2006 9:56 pm

RE: Paris Hilton's Mental Problems Revealed (joke)

Mon Jun 11, 2007 6:48 pm

I guess her catchphrase is gonna change from "That's hot," to "I'm psycho."  Yeah sure
You can take the boy out of the island, but not the island out of the boy!
 
lincoln
Posts: 3133
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2004 11:22 pm

RE: Paris Hilton's Mental Problems Revealed (joke)

Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:10 pm

Quoting Connies4ever (Reply 1):
My main concern in the whole thing is, why are we paying ANY attention to this ditz ?

Yeah, what makes her, of all people, worthy of attention? Prior to the Simple Life thing I had never even heard of her, and I still don't think she's anything special. Wohoo, someone with money. Great. That makes her different from thousands of other Americans how? Does she have any meaningful acheivements to her name -- inventions, charitable causes, anything?

Quoting Connies4ever (Reply 1):
She's not attractive, apparently not intelligent, and apparently does not understand the consequences of her actions.

I'll agree whole heartedly with #3, partially with #2 (every once in a while she does say something that sounds mildly intelligent, but it may be scripted), but #1...when she's actually wearing clothes and not trying to look like a slut she can be somewhat physically attractive (IMO)...but usually it seems that she has this phobia of being fully clothed.

Quoting ThePalauan (Reply 6):
I guess her catchphrase is gonna change from "That's hot," to "I'm psycho."

No, her catch phrase can remain "That's hot", but her tagline is is "I'm psycho" as in Paris Hilton: I'm psycho. Sounds like a good title for a book, too.
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