fllcontinental
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Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:20 am

I have homophobia and am not proud of it. It's not that I think that gays are morally repugnant but I just feel uncomfortable anytime I am around a gay. Does anybody else here share my fear?
 
EWRCabincrew
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:30 am

Quoting Fllcontinental (Thread starter):
homophobia

You have a fear of homos? Big grin

Quoting Fllcontinental (Thread starter):
I just feel uncomfortable anytime I am around a gay

What is it that makes you feel uncomfortable? How would you know you are around "a gay"? Do you find it strange that you are uncomfortable around gays, but gays aren't uncomfortable around you?
You can't cure stupid
 
ScarletHarlot
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:32 am

Yes, it is wrong to be homophobic. Gays are people just like straights. Everybody deserves to have someone to love and to love them. So what if gays are born with the need to love people of the same sex? Why does that make them less of a person? It doesn't.

How many gay people do you actually know or have you actually talked to? Are you uncomfortable because you are just not around gay people much? I think you would find that if you are open minded in your interactions with gay people, you would find that they're just as interesting and nice as anybody else. How do you know, anyway? I am sure you've interacted with many gay people and not known it.
But that was when I ruled the world
 
fumanchewd
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:33 am

Perhaps you are intimidated by their shoes.
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
NWA742
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:34 am

I think the word itself is pretty useless. A "phobia" means an actual fear of something.

I have never heard of nor seen any person that actually is afraid of gay people, yet I've seen many be labeled as homophobes because they don't understand or agree with the gay lifestyle.





-NWA742
Some people are like slinkies - not good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs
 
Klaus
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:35 am

Quoting Fllcontinental (Thread starter):
I have homophobia and am not proud of it.

Sorry to hear that. But actual conversations with ordinary gay people can usually cure it over time.
 
Klaus
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:47 am

Quoting NWA742 (Reply 4):
I think the word itself is pretty useless. A "phobia" means an actual fear of something.

I think it's quite adequate for many. Especially those who are scared of the idea that they somehow could not survive a gay person expressing feelings for them (which almost never happens in real life, and a simple "Sorry, I'm not interested!" isn't actually that difficult, really).

Quoting NWA742 (Reply 4):
I have never heard of nor seen any person that actually is afraid of gay people, yet I've seen many be labeled as homophobes because they don't understand or agree with the gay lifestyle.

"The" gay lifestyle? There are at least thousands of different lifestyles of different gay people, and most of them are pretty much identical to those of similar heteros.

And what exactly gives you the idea that your approval was somehow required for any of them anyway?  eyebrow 

Insisting on that weird idea is what makes you a homophobe.
 
davestanKSAN
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:50 am

Are you serious? I recommend talking to a Gay person and you'll get over your "fear." There's plenty of Gay people on this site if you don't know where to start.

Quoting Klaus (Reply 5):
But actual conversations with ordinary gay people can usually cure it over time.

There's lots of extraordinary gay people too  angel 

Dave
Yesterday we've sinned, today we move towards God. Touch the sky....love and respect...Safe Star!
 
Klaus
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:54 am

Quoting DavestanKSAN (Reply 7):
There's lots of extraordinary gay people too

Absolutely. But a few of them might in fact be a little intimidating.
Quite similar to a few "outstanding" heteros who might not be ideal for overcoming heterophobia...! Big grin
 
davestanKSAN
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:57 am

Quoting Klaus (Reply 8):
Absolutely. But a few of them might in fact be a little intimidating.
Quite similar to a few "outstanding" heteros who might not be ideal for overcoming heterophobia...!

 laughing  I know, I know. It's like asking JGPH1A how to be a vegetarian!!  duck   silly 

Dave
Yesterday we've sinned, today we move towards God. Touch the sky....love and respect...Safe Star!
 
EWRCabincrew
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:03 am

Quoting Klaus (Reply 8):
few of them might in fact be a little intimidating

Just like some heteros.

FllContinental, this is a great time to become a better person, let your guard down and talk with someone whom you feel makes you uncomforable, for whatever reason that may be.

Like DavestanKSAN suggested (hell, there's a thread on who is and who isn't here), talk to anyone of us. Ask us a question or two (or three).

Expand your horizons.
You can't cure stupid
 
cakentennis
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:06 am

Quoting NWA742 (Reply 4):
gay lifestyle

There's no such thing. The media only projects the stereotypes, why? because the majority of gay people/couples with regular boring lives like the rest of the populace aren't news worthy.

Quoting Fllcontinental (Thread starter):
I have homophobia and am not proud of it. It's not that I think that gays are morally repugnant but I just feel uncomfortable anytime I am around a gay. Does anybody else here share my fear?

I'd blame that on lack of exposure. As someone pointed out, you'll soften up the more you converse with them and realise gay people aren't any different from straight people as much as your religious institution would like you to think otherwise.
 
squared
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:11 am

Admitting that you are homophobic is probably the first step in the right direction. Once you've had a few conversations with gay people, like Klaus has suggested, you'll soon realize that gay men and women are just as diverse as straight men and women.

Quoting NWA742 (Reply 4):

I have never heard of nor seen any person that actually is afraid of gay people, yet I've seen many be labeled as homophobes because they don't understand or agree with the gay lifestyle.

I always snicker at the thought that there is such a thing as "the" gay lifestyle.
 
Klaus
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:12 am

Quoting EWRCabincrew (Reply 10):
Just like some heteros.

Indeed:

Quoting Klaus (Reply 8):
Quite similar to a few "outstanding" heteros who might not be ideal for overcoming heterophobia...!



Quoting Cakentennis (Reply 11):
As someone pointed out, you'll soften up the more you converse with them and realise gay people aren't any different from straight people as much as your religious institution would like you to think otherwise.

And whatever some people say, you can't "change" in whatever direction, especially not by "exposure" to gay people. If you're straight, then that's what you are and it won't change anyway. So no need to fear anything, really.

I find it extremely peculiar that some of the most homophobic people are so adamant that it was all about "rejecting the choice" - if they were truly straight themselves, they would know that there was no choice involved, really...!  mischievous 
 
NWA742
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:15 am

Quoting Klaus (Reply 6):
I think it's quite adequate for many. Especially those who are scared of the idea that they somehow could not survive a gay person expressing feelings for them.

I see where you're coming from, but I still think the "phobia" is rarely applicable in the case of a person who either doesn't support and/or doesn't understand the concept of homosexuality.

My point is that ignorance or lack of support or understanding of an idea, lifestyle, or concept, doesn't equal phobia - it's more a matter of ignorance or simply being anti-something.

And before you carry on with more personal attacks such as those that I'm about to respond to in this post, let me clarify that I'm not talking about myself here.....

Quoting Klaus (Reply 6):
"The" gay lifestyle? There are at least thousands of different lifestyles of different gay people, and most of them are pretty much identical to those of similar heteros.

Ok well, forget the "lifestyle" then. Concept, idea, whatever word suits you. That's beyond the point anyway.

Quoting Klaus (Reply 6):
And what exactly gives you the idea that your approval was somehow required for any of them anyway?

And what exactly gives you the idea that I think my approval is required for anything even remotely related to homosexuality? Stop making things out to be more than they are, Klaus.

Quoting Klaus (Reply 6):
Insisting on that weird idea is what makes you a homophobe.

I insisted on no such idea - don't toss words into my mouth. I'm not gay, I hold nothing against gays, I'm not afraid of them, and the entire subject is highly irrelevant and meaningless to me.

And remember, tossing words into someone's mouth is what makes you unable to carry on a conversation without namecalling or pulling your arguments straight out of your ass.




-NWA742
Some people are like slinkies - not good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs
 
NWA742
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:17 am

Quoting Cakentennis (Reply 11):
There's no such thing. The media only projects the stereotypes, why? because the majority of gay people/couples with regular boring lives like the rest of the populace aren't news worthy.



Quoting SQuared (Reply 12):
I always snicker at the thought that there is such a thing as "the" gay lifestyle.

I guess "lifestyle" was the wrong word to use........by lifestyle I simply mean't the concept of being sexuality active with the same sex, nothing more.




-NWA742
Some people are like slinkies - not good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs
 
DeltaAVL
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:27 am

My best friend is gay; I'm straight. I hang out with him all the time, and often forget that he is gay, because he acts just like any other person.

Unless you're trying to get romantically involved with the person, it doesn't make a lick of difference whether he/she is gay or straight. I've been told that many people who claim they have "homophobia" are insecure with their sexual orientation, but I would hope that you would have figured yourself out by the 36-45 age.  Wink
"We break, We bend, With hand in hand, When hope is gone, Just hang on." -Guster
 
luv2fly
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:31 am

I'm sure a member from the Cleveland area has an opinion on this subject she will share with you if you ask.
You can cut the irony with a knife
 
Klaus
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:43 am

Quoting NWA742 (Reply 14):
My point is that ignorance or lack of support or understanding of an idea, lifestyle, or concept, doesn't equal phobia - it's more a matter of ignorance or simply being anti-something.

Different issue. I wasn't talking about that in the statement you quoted.

Quoting NWA742 (Reply 14):
And what exactly gives you the idea that I think my approval is required for anything even remotely related to homosexuality? Stop making things out to be more than they are, Klaus.

Your post #4:

Quoting NWA742 (Reply 4):
yet I've seen many be labeled as homophobes because they don't understand or agree with the gay lifestyle.

You complained bitterly about people being unfairly labeled "homophobe" for "not agreeing" with an imaginary but clearly dismissed "gay lifestyle".

That sentence is brimming with so many well-known misunderstandings, claims, qualifications and implications that it's not that difficult to decipher.
 
Toast
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:54 am

It's all in your upbringing, and that in itself is heavily influenced by the terrible legacy of centuries of religiously-determined societal "norms".

There is no such thing as a rational argument against homosexuality. Its strong association with "sin", and our atavistic fear and mistrust of people who are different is really all there is to homophobia. I've also heard people expressing fear at the idea that a gay could make a pass at them. That is totally unfounded. I have studied and work in a profession that for some reason seems to attract many gay men, so I've been around them quite a lot. Rest assured that a gay man interested in you will always try to determine your orientation first via other people who know you better, and will leave you alone if you're straight. That reduces very significantly the probability of anyone actually approaching you. And even if that happened (never happened to me), what makes you so uncomfortable about the idea? Have women who you'd never look twice at never made a pass at you? In the unlikely event of that happening with a guy, just be nice and simply say why it couldn't work, and voilà. Don't for a second imagine that the typical gay is a Republican senator cornering you in a public restroom, or leather-clad biker with a handlebar mustache inviting you to a steamy tango.

I know it only sounds easy to change one's attitude. I for myself have had the privilege of a liberal upbringing, and I live in a society that is extraordinarily tolerant toward homosexuality. Unfortunately, a comfortable majority of people on this planet still haven't, sorry for the image, untightened their asses about certain ancient "moral values" that should have no relevance whatsoever in today's world. Homosexuality is still legally punishable, sometimes by death, in a sickening number of countries. This double religious-legal stigma will take a long time to wear off, and will continue to influence people's mentality for probably centuries to come.

Gay people are just as valuable and good citizens as everybody else, and they have a variety of lifestyles as rich as everybody else. Even to begin generalizing about such an enormous amount of people - possibly up to 20% of all humans - solely on the base of their sexual preferences is absurd. As more of them dare to come out of a closet, people will begin to realize just how overwhelmingly "normal" gay people are. Come to Brussels or Amsterdam and have a look around. Count the rainbow flag stickers on cars and shop windows. My newsagent is gay, my landlord is gay, my grocer is gay, my neighbors - pre-school teachers - are a lesbian couple, several fellow lecturers at my college are openly gay, maybe half of the guys I work with, highly qualified people without a hint of drag queen campness, are gay as well. Chances are - no, it's certain - that a significant portion of your own friends and acquaintances are gay as well, however "manly" your job may be. So do them and yourself a favor and let people know it's OK to you. Don't help perpetrate the stupid myth that gays are sleazy perverts. The self-sustaining mechanism of prejudice and ignorance has to be stopped.

[Edited 2007-11-05 19:03:59]
Shit Piss Fuck Cunt Cocksucker Motherfucker Tits
 
Boeing744
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 3:05 am

Quoting Toast (Reply 19):

Along with your informative and intelligent posts about linguistics (an area that greatly interests me), that post gained you entry to my Respected User list! I agree with everything you've said!
 
EWRCabincrew
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 3:09 am

Another point: Heteros aren't normal. Just common.

A lot of people here have given great advice. It's up to you at this point. You won't be disappointed.
You can't cure stupid
 
NeilYYZ
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 3:16 am

Quoting Fllcontinental (Thread starter):
Does anybody else here share my fear?

Not I. I'm straight, but I've got quite a few gay friends. I play on a hockey team with two gay men, there's never any tension in the locker room (which is a question that people seem to like to ask). I don't see any difference between my gay friends and my straight friends.

Quoting Fumanchewd (Reply 3):
Perhaps you are intimidated by their shoes.

I've queried a few of my gay friends as to the appropriate shoes, they told me that Dockers a collared shirt and runners just did not go. One of the men I queried pointed out a few nice pairs for me, and I'll admit, they do go better than runners.
It may be too early to drink scotch... But it is NEVER too early to think about it...
 
NWA742
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 3:41 am

Quoting Klaus (Reply 18):
You complained bitterly about people being unfairly labeled "homophobe" for "not agreeing" with an imaginary but clearly dismissed "gay lifestyle".

 rotfl 

Complained bitterly?

Quoting NWA742 (Reply 4):
I have never heard of nor seen any person that actually is afraid of gay people, yet I've seen many be labeled as homophobes because they don't understand or agree with the gay lifestyle.

Seems more like a simple observation to me, Klaus. Oh, and where did I say they were being unfairly labeled? I'm sure that special little contraption in your head divulged to you an implication that it's unfair, but in reality it's just an example of what I perceive as misuse of a word - fairness has no implication regarding the issue.

Also, did you miss the whole segment regarding throwing words into peoples' mouths? How about making things out to be more than they are? Seems to me you are further proving my point about people who toss words, call people names, and pull their arguments out of that particular place I mentioned before.

Oh, and thank you for telling me and everyone else the way I feel. I appreciate it.

Quoting Klaus (Reply 18):
imaginary but clearly dismissed "gay lifestyle".

Eh,  redflag 

Already corrected the use of the word "lifestyle". Further proof of your ability or lack there of to have a logical debate.




-NWA742
Some people are like slinkies - not good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs
 
Klaus
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 3:59 am

Quoting Toast (Reply 19):
Don't for a second imagine that the typical gay is a Republican senator cornering you in a public restroom, or leather-clad biker with a handlebar mustache inviting you to a steamy tango.

Which is a scary thought from either side of the aisle...! Big grin

Quoting NWA742 (Reply 24):
Seems more like a simple observation to me, Klaus.

I see. So you didn't imply anything at all. Okay.
 
NWA742
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:05 am

Quoting Klaus (Reply 25):
I see. So you didn't imply anything at all. Okay.

Learning to recede from knee-jerk reactions based on your emotions is a lesson worth learning.




-NWA742
Some people are like slinkies - not good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs
 
EWRCabincrew
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:06 am

Instead of sidetracking here, an A.netter has posted a very valid feeling and wants to know what to do. We've done a good job so far, let's continue.

Why not help him out and keep semantics for another thread, where we can hash it out ad nauseum.
You can't cure stupid
 
jafa39
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:17 am

Quoting Fllcontinental (Thread starter):
Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

As long as you don't go around hurting them it is up to you who you like and don't like...I am uncomfortable around loud, fat women.

If the thought of men putting their peepees up each others butts makes you feel bad....well, it ain't everbody's cup of tea and you are free to not like it or approve of it as long as you keep it real.

There is a school of thought that you should like everybody who is "different" and that not to makes you "phobic" but that is BS.....plenty of white, straight people i don't like and I am a white, straight, person.

Trouble is the PC lobbyists will try to make you feel guilty for knowing what you like and you don't like.

Gay people do not feel they have to apologise for who they are and neither should you.

Just don't be a hater..
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
AeroWesty
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:19 am

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 28):
If the thought of men putting their peepees up each others butts makes you feel bad

... focus on the blowjobs.  Wink
International Homo of Mystery
 
NWA742
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:19 am

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 28):
There is a school of thought that you should like everybody who is "different" and that not to makes you "phobic" but that is BS.....plenty of white, straight people i don't like and I am a white, straight, person.

Trouble is the PC lobbyists will try to make you feel guilty for knowing what you like and you don't like.

Gay people do not feel they have to apologise for who they are and neither should you.

Just don't be a hater..

  


Thank you. Reading some intellectual text here is quite refreshing at this point.



-NWA742

[Edited 2007-11-05 20:20:28]
Some people are like slinkies - not good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs
 
jafa39
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:30 am

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 29):
. focus on the blowjobs.

Westy!!! Go to your room at once!!!  Smile
We, the undersigned, do hereby consent.....
 
DC10extender
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:40 am

Well, I don't understand why those who are gay are what they are but that doesn't mean I look down on them or hate them or anything. It is just something I don't understand. Just like I don't understand how anyone can be liberal  Big grin.
Did you ever read on your birth certificate that life is fair? Thats cause its not there.
 
EWRCabincrew
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:57 am

Quoting DC10extender (Reply 32):
I don't understand how anyone can be liberal

Or Republican. Big grin
You can't cure stupid
 
tsaord
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:26 am

Well,

A lot of gay/bi men are just regular men. Nothing to fear there.

Now when you see the flaming queens, mean acting like women, the drag queens, the oooooooo child and the like, if you have never been around that before then it may make one uncomfortable.

To me a phobia comes from a result of something happening to you once before. If not then you need to ask yourself why you fear them. What is it about Homos/Bi's that makes you scared?
there are icons, then there are legends, then there is rick flair
 
AeroWesty
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:33 am

Quoting Tsaord (Reply 34):
Now when you see the flaming queens, mean acting like women, the drag queens, the oooooooo child and the like, if you have never been around that before then it may make one uncomfortable.

Why would it? They're people too.
International Homo of Mystery
 
User avatar
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:56 am

Why not just hate everyone equally?  Wink
"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem - government IS the problem." - Ronald Reagan

Comments made here are my own and are not intended to represent the official position of Alaska Air Group
 
fumanchewd
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:58 am

Quoting Fllcontinental (Thread starter):
Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

It really is a sad thing when a citizen is so afraid of congress and daytime television hosts.

Seriously though. I am not impressed in general with the way gays dress, yet their choice of shoes is impeccible. Has anyone seen a gay man wearing bad shoes? (With the exception of Richard Simons)'
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
vikkyvik
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:51 am

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 35):
Why would it? They're people too.

It's just human nature (at least, for a lot of people). You're bound to be uncomfortable around something you've never experienced before. I know I am. Hell, when I first came to USC, I experienced quite a bit of culture shock, because there were so many Asians around campus (my hometown is something like 90% white). But I got used to it pretty quickly - like you said, they're people too.

Fllcontinental, I would say there's nothing "wrong" per se with being uncomfortable around gay folks. Like others have said, you probably just haven't been around them enough, and haven't been able to get past the idea that despite them being normal people, they're normal GAY people.

My freshman year in college, there was a gay dude who lived on our floor. We hung out with him a fair amount, and that was all well and good.

Then, one night, a bunch of us were hanging out in his room, and his boyfriend was there too. His boyfriend was sitting on his lap, and they'd exchange the occasional (or frequent  Smile ) kiss. That was the first time I was around a gay couple just being a couple, in my memory, and I was definitely a bit uncomfortable for awhile. But I thought about it a lot over the next few days, and realized that, really, it wasn't anything different from what straight couples would do. So I just decided to let go of the discomfort. No point to it, really - it's just extra baggage for which there's no need.

So, really, I would encourage you to try and open your mind. But if you decide not to, well, you're quite entitled to your thoughts. But remember, it's much easier to just be comfortable around people from all walks of life - it's much less stressful.

~Vik
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".
 
AeroWesty
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:59 am

Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 38):
You're bound to be uncomfortable around something you've never experienced before.

I'm usually intrigued and curious, not uncomfortable.
International Homo of Mystery
 
ScarletHarlot
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:03 am

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 39):
I'm usually intrigued and curious, not uncomfortable.

Some of us take longer to get to that point than others, Westy. If you grew up pretty sheltered it may take a bit longer to be comfortable with new situations.
But that was when I ruled the world
 
Frontiercpt
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:10 am

Quoting Klaus (Reply 6):
"The" gay lifestyle? There are at least thousands of different lifestyles of different gay people, and most of them are pretty much identical to those of similar heteros.

There is one comment I'd like to make in regard to the "gay lifestyle." It's not related to anyone or any comments in particular, it just sort of occurred to me because of this quote.

When people find out I'm gay, they usually say "Oh I support you, I'm just not so sure about the gay lifestyle, but other than that that's great!" Well my problem with that is that they are making a rather sweeping judgemental statement, assuming that I (along with every other homosexual or non-hetero in the world) live a gay lifestyle. I take offense to that because, depending on what gay lifestyle you are talking about, I'm most likely not living it. In general, most people mean the promiscuous lifestyle, but to say they don't support it when I'm definitely NOT promiscuous is rather bold of them. Not to say that gays are the only ones with promiscuous lifestyles, we just get the rat for it.


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AeroWesty
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:15 am

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 40):
If you grew up pretty sheltered it may take a bit longer to be comfortable with new situations.

But then that would validate any phobia for simply never having been exposed to something new. We experience new, different, and sometimes interesting things all day. If you'd only been served vanilla ice cream as a child, would you be phobic of strawberry when you first saw it, or say "that looks different, I'll try that"?
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TSS
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:16 am

Quoting Toast (Reply 19):
Don't for a second imagine that the typical gay is a...leather-clad biker with a handlebar mustache inviting you to a steamy tango.

Hah! We should all be so lucky!  crossfingers   laughing 

Seriously though, you've probably met and befriended a number of gay people without realizing it. As Toast pointed out so eloquently, not all of us look like denizens of the Blue Oyster Bar. In fact, some of the high points of my existence thus far have been when a new friend points to a guy or gal whose sexual preference would be obvious from on board the space shuttle and whispers to me "That person is gay! I can spot 'em anywhere". Oh really?  eyebrow   devil 
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jafa39
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:43 am

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 35):
Why would it? They're people too.

Yeah but we all choose the people we like to hang out with.....same old same old, you can not like smokers, you can not like republicans, you can despise Volvo drivers and no-one will question it but the moment you don't like gay people...you have a "problem" and everybody wants to tell you you're wrong...haven't given it time....well my mum said that about Brussalls Sprouts and I still hate the f@#*ers!!

Quoting EA CO AS (Reply 36):
Why not just hate everyone equally?

Probably the best idea in this thread.

Quoting Fumanchewd (Reply 37):
Has anyone seen a gay man wearing bad shoes?

Yes, oddly enough I knew a gay man who wore socks with sandals and he tried to get his hands on my parts......so now I am uncomfortable around men who wear socks with sandals...unless they are German in which case i kinda expect it  Wink

Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 38):
His boyfriend was sitting on his lap, and they'd exchange the occasional (or frequent ) kiss. That was the first time I was around a gay couple just being a couple, in my memory, and I was definitely a bit uncomfortable for awhile.

I hate to be around boy/girl couples who do that, its blatant exhibitionism regardless of the gender make up of the couple.......yucky...WTF they trying to prove???

And don't get me wrong, I have gay friends (I even have AeroWesty on my RU list).  Wink
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AeroWesty
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:53 am

Quoting Jafa39 (Reply 44):
Yeah but we all choose the people we like to hang out with.....same old same old, you can not like smokers, you can not like republicans, you can despise Volvo drivers and no-one will question it but the moment you don't like gay people...you have a "problem" and everybody wants to tell you you're wrong

"Fear or hatred of homosexuals, or fear of becoming one." Let's start there as a definition for homophobia.

If you despise Volvo drivers, wouldn't you necessarily have some sort of reason for why? In some posts, people are saying homophobia comes about from the fear of the unknown. If I've never met an Aston-Martin driver, should I be afraid of becoming one?  silly 
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Doona
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 8:27 am

Quoting NWA742 (Reply 14):
I see where you're coming from, but I still think the "phobia" is rarely applicable in the case of a person who either doesn't support and/or doesn't understand the concept of homosexuality.

I bet some of that actually is fear, the same way as xenophobia. On the other hand, I'd pay money to see someone be as scared of me as I am of spiders.

Quoting Fumanchewd (Reply 37):
I am not impressed in general with the way gays dress

Whoa there! I'm assuming that your basing that upon observartions of American gays, no? I'm afraid to say it, but Americans in general have piss-poor taste, alot of it due to the crap available to you. Come on, Men's Warehouse? Luckily, us gays are good at picking out shoes wherever you are in the world, so even Americans can have decent footwear.  duck   wink 

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CaptOveur
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 8:55 am

Being aware of it is the first step.

Is it ok to be scared of gay people? not really. Would I hold it against you? not really. It is like any other irrational fear, it is irrational. However, knowing it is an irrational fear is the first step. I guess what decides if it is ok or not is how you deal with it.
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jafa39
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 9:57 am

Quoting AeroWesty (Reply 45):
"Fear or hatred of homosexuals, or fear of becoming one." Let's start there as a definition for homophobia.

If you despise Volvo drivers, wouldn't you necessarily have some sort of reason for why? In some posts, people are saying homophobia comes about from the fear of the unknown. If I've never met an Aston-Martin driver, should I be afraid of becoming one?

Often people who despise Volvo drivers do it because they don't like their lifestyle or percieved attitudes and behaviour, some people really hate Aston Martin drivers for the same set of reasons...if you didn't like A-M drivers you may well fear becoming one, of making that lifestyle choice that would lead you to wanting to drive one...only logical really, we all fear what we despise and despise what we fear (except for Scorpios).

There may be people here who fear CastleIsland and his love of heterosexual buggery, popcorn and the ingestion of urine for sexual pleasure...and they'd be entitled to that fear, what small sea-change might it take for them to trip unknowingly into the dark side of hedonism?....its like vertigo, the vertigo sufferer fears he may jump into the abyss and that may not be somewhere he wants to be.

I said it before and it is the one issue for which one will be guarranteed to be branded a heretic or a homophobic by gays and that is simply that some people find the whole deal to be very disturbing, it disgusts them and that is something that they can control about as much as gay men (and women) can control their sexual orientation so...if we (the straights) have to accept homosexuality then it is only fair that gays accept that some people will never accept it and leave it there....and not try to make out that not liking homosexuality is some form of mental abberation that can be cured by exposure to the object of their fear....maybe they can but if you crunch the numbers it makes better logistical sense for gays or mormons or body-piercers or neo-nazis or illegal immigrants...whatever to accept that not everybody is going to like or support them.

I drive a Japanese car, drink beer, eat meat and kill fish and some people really don't like those facts...up to them really, who am I to tell them what to think?....tolerance, as Shakespear never said, works both ways....

HOWEVER....don't spit on my gay mates or I'll kick yer head in but you don't have to like them.....
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trav110
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:10 pm

Well first off, I think that being uncomfortable around gays isn't necessarily homophobia. Like others have said, it's a lot of PC bullshit that people are put through, and being uncomfortable around someone who's a certain way doesn't necessarily mean you have a phobia of them. I, for example, feel awkward around people with a noticeable physical or mental handicap. I can't explain why. Awkward is an uncomfortable feeling, so essentially I guess you say I'm uncomfortable around people with special needs. I'd love to get to know someone who's physically or mentally handicapped, as I think it'd help me feel differently around them, but in my day-to-day life as of yet I haven't come across the opportunity to do so.

Secondly, I'd imagine you probably don't have quite the right image of homosexuality. The media, with shows like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, flambouyant gays, and butch lesbians project an image to the general (straight) public that defines homosexuals as being a certain way. Usually it goes something along the lines of the men being feminine fashionistas, and the women beng butch feminst warriors. Not that there's anything wrong with any of the aforementioned stereotypes, it just seems to be that many straight people who may hold a narrow mindest on issues such as sexuality believe this to be the definition of homos all around, full stop.

I'm gay, but I love football, cars, and aviation (though I guess that doesn't backup my point too well  Wink). On top of that, I have no interest in blowing a ridiculous amount of money on a pair of the latest hottest jeans, nor do I give two shits about celebrities. I can barely match my own clothes for God's sake, and I'm clumsy and messy. I've come out to people who either flat out don't believe me, or had no idea. The point I'm trying to make is that not all homos are like the ones you see on TV, or the glaringly obvious you may see from day to day. Many, if not a majority of homosexuals are absolutely, for lack of a better term, normal.

Overall, I don't think that there is anything inherently wrong with being uncomfortable around something that's very different from what you're used to. In fact, I think it's perfectly understandable. What I would consider a problem, though, is complacency which leads to narrowmindedness, If you're not willing to get to know a gay guy, you're not doing anything to solve the problem. You say you're not proud of your homophobia, so If you have a chance, get to know someone who's gay or lesbian. I'm sure it'd help expand your mind a little bit and let you feel more at ease.

Sorry for the long-winded post, things just kept popping into my head...
 
kmh1956
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RE: Is It Wrong To Be Homophobic?

Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:25 pm

I'm not sure I'd say it was 'wrong' per se, but perhaps ignorant instead. A little education goes a long way towards understanding and the folks on A.net seem more than willing to help you out in that respect. I think it's very natural to fear that which you don't understand.....
'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield

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