Toast
Topic Author
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Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:38 pm

So today I decided to cut my hair as I hadn't done it in over 2 months and was becoming too shaggy. For the first time in my life, I chose to do it at 9 a.m., an hour when I tend to be half-asleep at the best of times. To make a long story short, I forgot to set my hair clipper to its usual max length. I pulled the machine set at 2 mm all across my skull and nearly died when I realized what I did. Having no choice really, I had to keep the setting and continued cutting, watching with horror the handfuls of my hair falling to the floor.

My head now looks like a dick with glasses. I haven't been this hairless since the Carter administration. My new neo-Nazi appearance is precisely what I didn't need now as I have an upcoming job interview and I need to re-negotiate a bank loan.  banghead 

I haven't felt this owned since the time my face was painted with indelible ink after a drinking binge at college.

Please share your stories of self-pwnage to make me feel a bit less stupid...
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airlinelover
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:39 pm

This thread is worthless without pics..

Lets do some sexy math. We add you, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply
 
B747forever
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:46 pm

Quoting Toast (Thread starter):
forgot to set my hair clipper to its usual max length. I pulled the machine set at 2 mm all across my skull and nearly died when I realized what I did.



Quoting Toast (Thread starter):
My head now looks like a dick with glasses



Quoting Toast (Thread starter):
My new neo-Nazi appearance is precisely what I didn't need now as I have an upcoming job interview

 rotfl   rotfl   rotfl 

OMG what a really big and embarrassing mistake. But really funny also.

Do I dare to ask for some pics???
Work Hard, Fly Right
 
searpqx
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:50 pm

I keep my hair buzzed anyway, so I tend to avoid that particular problem, but make up for it when trimming my moustache. I can't grow a beard, but I've had a very full moustache since I was 18. About 3 times a year I don't pay attention to the trimmer setting and shave off half of it before I realize the problem. The only fix is to trim it down to peach fuzz. When I do, for some reason my upper lip seems to swell, and the pale skin under my nose that hasn't seen the full light of day in 25 years dominates my face for about a week.
"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity"
 
EWRCabincrew
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:52 pm

Pictures, Toast. We want pics.

As for short hair...I keep mine cropped short always. It's called low-to-no maintenance.

You'll be fine.
You can't cure stupid
 
Boeing4ever
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:54 pm

My advice...Sharpie. That should give you a nice black, shiny, hair-looking color.  Wink

 airplane B4e-Forever New Frontiers airplane 
 
helvknight
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:56 pm

I can't find the proper one so:

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member - Groucho Marx
 
Toast
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:00 pm

Quoting EWRCabincrew (Reply 4):
Pictures, Toast. We want pics.



Quoting B747forever (Reply 2):
Do I dare to ask for some pics???



Quoting Airlinelover (Reply 1):
This thread is worthless without pics..

F*ck off, people.  Smile No way. I can't look in the goddamn mirror, much less aim a camera at my face and share the ignominy with the world.  ashamed 
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Kieron747
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:01 pm

Quoting Toast (Thread starter):
My head now looks like a dick with glasses.

Cut or uncut?

Signed,

RootsAir
Airliners.Net - The Jam Rag Of The Web.
 
B747forever
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:02 pm

Quoting Toast (Reply 7):
No way. I can't look in the goddamn mirror, much less aim a camera at my face and share the ignominy with the world.

So you look so horrible that you even cant watch your self in a mirror?? How will you survive this period, until your hair grows out.???
Work Hard, Fly Right
 
Toast
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:11 pm

Quoting B747forever (Reply 9):
How will you survive this period, until your hair grows out.???

What I need now is a length of orange sheet. I've decided to join the Burmese revolution. I'll rather face machine guns than the smart-ass comments of my friends and colleagues.  bomb 
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MD11Engineer
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:13 pm

Quoting Searpqx (Reply 3):
I keep my hair buzzed anyway, so I tend to avoid that particular problem, but make up for it when trimming my moustache. I can't grow a beard, but I've had a very full moustache since I was 18. About 3 times a year I don't pay attention to the trimmer setting and shave off half of it before I realize the problem. The only fix is to trim it down to peach fuzz. When I do, for some reason my upper lip seems to swell, and the pale skin under my nose that hasn't seen the full light of day in 25 years dominates my face for about a week.

Happened to me once as well. Without moustache I looked like a friggin school boy. I grew it back within one week though..  relieved 

Quoting Toast (Reply 7):
Quoting EWRCabincrew (Reply 4):
Pictures, Toast. We want pics.



Quoting B747forever (Reply 2):
Do I dare to ask for some pics???



Quoting Airlinelover (Reply 1):
This thread is worthless without pics..

F*ck off, people. Smile No way. I can't look in the goddamn mirror, much less aim a camera at my face and share the ignominy with the world. ashamed

Shall we send you a bottle of Brasso or Sidol for polishing your "billard ball"? Big grin

Jan
Je Suis Charlie et je suis Ahmet aussi
 
Banco
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:23 pm

Get a wig.

You too can have the William Shatner look. Big grin
She's as nervous as a very small nun at a penguin shoot.
 
Klaus
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:31 pm

Quoting Toast (Thread starter):
My head now looks like a dick with glasses.

Maybe you should have kept the eyebrows, then.  mischievous 
 
LH423
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:37 pm

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 8):
Cut or uncut?

Signed,

RootsAir

 rotfl 

I once cut my hair wayyyy too short once. Everyone said I looked like a neo-nazi. A mistake I will never repeat again.

LH423
« On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux » Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:39 pm

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 8):
Quoting Toast (Thread starter):
My head now looks like a dick with glasses.

Cut or uncut?

Signed,

RootsAir

 rotfl 

It may be an improvement , I have to say that the idea of hairy Toast is a bit offputting (but I am quite conservative with breakfast - you can serve me up any manner of revolting things late in the day just don't frighten me at breakfast )

My first flirtation with baldness was semi accidental ( a home colour job that went badly wrong , and tough luck those of you who think this post is useless without pics - I have destroyed them all !) but it kind of grew on my - bad choice of words though that may be - having said that November in Belgium is not the time to start experimenting with the exposure of unprecedented amounts of scalp
 
kiwiandrew

RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:42 pm

BTW PWN ? ......... WTF ?


PS - I assume the photo in your profile is 'after'

[Edited 2007-11-06 10:21:44]
 
MD11Engineer
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:45 pm

I once asked a barber for a crew cut (Militaerschnitt). Unfortunately the bloke was quite old and gave me a Wehrmacht special (longish on top, to be combed back with Brillcreame) and almost shaved along the sides from the tip of the ears down. It was great for a living history display a few weeks later (where I was in the role of a WW2 British soldier), since it was a fitting period haircut, but my colleagues asked if I didn't fancy to trim my moustache that it would just fit under the nose, you know, like a certain Austrian from Braunau.

Jan

[Edited 2007-11-06 09:53:11]
Je Suis Charlie et je suis Ahmet aussi
 
skygirl
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:47 pm

i once died my hair copper in an attempt to go for a more auburn color. and while I was acutally able to pull off the copper look, it doesn't go to well with navy blue. I promptly became a brunette later that afternoon, before my LAX flight.
...Now they face an even greater danger...Tyrannousaurs in F-14's!!
 
EWRCabincrew
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 5:55 pm

Quoting Toast (Reply 7):
I can't look in the goddamn mirror, much less aim a camera at my face and share the ignominy with the world.

Wuss!!!   If you put all your vanity into hair (good God, man, priorities!!!), then lock yourself up till it grows back. 

It is hair, you know. Just hair.

That and you were the one who brought to our attention....suck it up and take some damn pictures!!!!! Would ya!!!  Big grin

[Edited 2007-11-06 09:56:53]
You can't cure stupid
 
AGM100
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:07 pm

My barber just screwed me over to .. She forgot to change the clipper head and nailed me with a # 1 right in the front. Ended up shaving it all off, I look like my 2nd week in bootcamp , ya know when it kinda grows out a bit .. .. !! It was kinda funny , she felt so bad she almost cried , luckily for her I dont really care that much about it.
You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
 
B747forever
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:12 pm

Quoting Toast (Reply 10):
I'll rather face machine guns than the smart-ass comments of my friends and colleagues.

Wow, so you look so bad that you can face machine guns rather than your friends. Wow.
Work Hard, Fly Right
 
NoUFO
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:26 pm

The second last time I went to the barber (that was in May if I recall correctly  Smile ), she was in such a bad mood, I was even happier than usual when I left her shop, not noticing that she did only half of her job: One side of my scalp was cut properly, the other one wasn't.

But it did help to brighten her day when I re-appeared the next morning.

Quoting Toast (Thread starter):
I pulled the machine set at 2 mm all across my skull and nearly died when I realized what I did. Having no choice really,

Actually yes, you could have joined a Genesis cover band:
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MD11Engineer
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:38 pm

Toast, did you shave your eyebrows as well? There is nothing to make a guy look like a complete t*sser than shaving his eyebrows off. (When I was living in Ireland, the neighbouring house was occupied by a group of South African and British contractors, who would get drunk almost every evening. If a guy passed out in the common sitting room, the others would play jokes on him, like shaving his eyebrows or cutting a swathe through his hair with a clipper. Since I rarely drink, and never to the level where I pass out, it never happened to me, but I have seen several "victims").

Jan
Je Suis Charlie et je suis Ahmet aussi
 
airfoilsguy
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:44 pm

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
It's not a near miss it's a near hit!!
 
NIKV69
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 6:50 pm

Hey Jeff Greene shaved his head for Curb your enthusiam and took one for the team. Stop whining.
Hey that guy with the private jet can bail us out! Why? HE CAN AFFORD IT!
 
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LTU932
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:02 pm

Quoting MD11Engineer (Reply 17):
I once asked a barber for a crew cut (Militaerschnitt). Unfortunately the bloke was quite old and gave me a Wehrmacht special (longish on top, to be combed back with Brillcreame) and almost shaved along the sides from the tip of the ears down. It was great for a living history display a few weeks later (where I was in the role of a WW2 British soldier), since it was a fitting period haircut, but my colleagues asked if I didn't fancy to trim my moustache that it would just fit under the nose, you know, like a certain Austrian from Braunau.

Did you have the Scheitel to the right or to your left? Otherwise it would explain why they suggested the trimming of your moustache.  Wink
 
MD11Engineer
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:12 pm

Quoting LTU932 (Reply 26):
Did you have the Scheitel to the right or to your left? Otherwise it would explain why they suggested the trimming of your moustache.

Normally on the left.

Jan
Je Suis Charlie et je suis Ahmet aussi
 
davestanKSAN
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:20 pm

I did the same exact thing like five years ago. I wanted to buzz my head, but I forgot the top of the clippers, and zzzz oops!!!! Don't worry toast, it will grow back. And I'm not just buttering you up. <----See what I did there.

Dave
Yesterday we've sinned, today we move towards God. Touch the sky....love and respect...Safe Star!
 
Toast
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:21 pm

OK, you nosy bastards. Here's a pic, now leave me alone  tongue  :



Quoting NoUFO (Reply 22):
you could have joined a Genesis cover band:

...now I wish it would rain down, down on me...  raincloud 

I obviously don't have a "before" pic, so the guy you're seeing may actually look normal to you. Problem is, that's not me...

Quoting Kiwiandrew (Reply 16):
BTW PWN ? ......... WTF ?

To "pwn" is to "own", it's an alternative spelling. Don't ask.

I like it, "pooned" sounds funnier than "owned".  Smile

To all the wits of this thread with their sarcastic remarks, screw you all!  Wink If this is a hint of what I'll get tomorrow when people will see me, the day's gonna be long indeed!  Smile
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Kieron747
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:22 pm

Quoting Toast (Reply 29):
OK, you nosy bastards. Here's a pic, now leave me alone

That's one hell of an eye! Are you a Borg?  Wink

Kieron
Airliners.Net - The Jam Rag Of The Web.
 
MD11Engineer
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:25 pm

You didn't have to put on the lipstick, didn't you?  tongue 

But try some boot polish, it will make you look better (and don't forget to polish your head with a soft cloth) Big grin

Jan
Je Suis Charlie et je suis Ahmet aussi
 
ZakHH
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:32 pm

Quoting Toast (Reply 29):
OK, you nosy bastards. Here's a pic, now leave me alone

May I be the first to say...



 Big grin
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Toast
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:33 pm

Quoting MD11Engineer (Reply 31):
You didn't have to put on the lipstick, didn't you?

Fuck, that really does look like lipstick. Shouldn't have fiddled with brightness and contrast...

Quoting MD11Engineer (Reply 31):
But try some boot polish, it will make you look better (and don't forget to polish your head with a soft cloth)

For the first time in my life, I've realized that my head skin is shiny.  yuck  No polishing needed...
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diamond
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:45 pm

Quoting Toast (Reply 29):
OK, you nosy bastards. Here's a pic, now leave me alone

You'd better lose the facial hair temporarily. It's thicker and darker than what you left on your head.  Smile
Blank.
 
ScarletHarlot
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:49 pm

Why the black shirt? Are you in mourning for your lost hair?  Smile
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PlymSpotter
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:53 pm

I feel for you Toast, I could never imagine myself with short hair, even if, when thinking about it, I do look worryingly like this;

Quoting NoUFO (Reply 22):
Actually yes, you could have joined a Genesis cover band:


Dan Smile
...love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...
 
davestanKSAN
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:55 pm

At least you didn't shave your toast pussy.



Dave
Yesterday we've sinned, today we move towards God. Touch the sky....love and respect...Safe Star!
 
NoUFO
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 8:02 pm

Quoting Toast (Reply 29):
so the guy you're seeing may actually look normal to you. Problem is, that's not me...

Yeah, I know, as others long enough on theses boards can attest, that's somebody who drives a freight train.  duck 
I support the right to arm bears
 
LAXspotter
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 8:04 pm

Quoting Kieron747 (Reply 8):
Cut or uncut?

Signed,

RootsAir

 rotfl 

Toast good luck finding a Job

That picture looks quite different from yesterday in the self-pic thread....
"Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel" Samuel Johnson
 
Toast
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 8:09 pm

Quoting LAXspotter (Reply 39):
That picture looks quite different from yesterday in the self-pic thread....

Ah shit, I forgot to add a disclaimer in the self-pic thread that that isn't actually me. It's just a random guy with great taste in clothing that I found on Google Images...  Smile
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EWRCabincrew
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 9:25 pm

Quoting LAXspotter (Reply 39):
Toast good luck finding a Job

That hairstyle is always in style (at least in my mind). I wear that cut every other month.
You can't cure stupid
 
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foppishbum
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Tue Nov 06, 2007 11:35 pm

Well, I embarrassed myself a few quarters ago when I was going to take the final exam. So I pulled an all nighter to study for the exam and by the time I went to the lecture hall, I was pretty drowsy and just wanted to get it over with. I was about 10 minutes late and thank goodness the professor let me take the exam anyway. I took the exam paper and walked towards my desired seat. Next thing I know, I tripped over a wire on the ground and was in my pajamas lying face down with my things splattered all over the lecture hall. The loud boom echoed the gigantic lecture hall and I could sense 400+ people looking at me trying very hard not to laugh; some failed though. I wanted to dig a hole and just stay there. My TA came over to me and helped me gathered my things and asked if I were okay to take the exam...Seriously, I wanted to dig a hole and just hide  Sad

Even until now, some of my friends in that class still laugh at me. They said I looked drunk. Ugh...  banghead 




Peace,
foppish bum
Taiwanese-American :D
 
B747forever
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Wed Nov 07, 2007 7:27 am

Quoting Toast (Reply 29):
OK, you nosy bastards. Here's a pic, now leave me alone :

Finally a pic.

Wow, that looks just amazing. How did you succeed  Wink
Work Hard, Fly Right
 
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scbriml
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Wed Nov 07, 2007 7:52 am

Quoting Kiwiandrew (Reply 16):
BTW PWN ? ......... WTF ?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pwn



Anyway, what's hair? grumpy  old 
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana!
 
B747forever
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Wed Nov 07, 2007 7:54 am

Quoting Scbriml (Reply 44):
BTW PWN ? ......... WTF ?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pwn

Great for showing us this link.
Work Hard, Fly Right
 
LHMark
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Wed Nov 07, 2007 2:38 pm

Dude, you're Belgian, which is nearly French  Smile Just slap a beret on your head until it grows back!
"Sympathy is something that shouldn't be bestowed on the Yankees. Apparently it angers them." - Bob Feller
 
Toast
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Wed Nov 07, 2007 3:01 pm

Quoting LHMARK (Reply 46):
Dude, you're Belgian, which is nearly French

 flamed 

Update: here are the remarks I had to deal with today:

Newsagent: (long look and broad grin)
An associate: 'Jesus Christ Almighty, what happened?'
A friend: (stood behind me in the tram, didn't recognize me until I turned around): 'holy fuck Toast, what were you thinking?'
My mother (I sent her a pic): 'How cute! I'm forwarding this to the rest of the family!'
A female co-worker: 'Toast, don't worry, women like young bald guys'. 'Are you saying I'm more attractive like this?' 'Well, you actually looked better with your longer hair...'

 bomb 
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SBBRTech
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Wed Nov 07, 2007 4:02 pm

Imagine the whole lot of shampoo you gonna save from now on.
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fxramper
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RE: Toast Pwns Himself (self-pity Thread)

Wed Nov 07, 2007 5:26 pm

This will go down as a classic Anet Self Pwnage Thread!

Thanks for sharing!

 rotfl 

Quoting Diamond (Reply 34):

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