jmc1975
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Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:12 am

What is the general consensus on this forum of gay behavior in public gyms, locker rooms, saunas, etc.? Is there a sense of entitlement to sneak a peak at an innocent patron or to excessively expose themselves.

A few months ago, something very peculiar happened to me while at my local gym. I went into the dry sauna where I frequently go to sweat out toxins.

As I was the only one in there (with a towel on), some guy comes into the sauna completely in the buff. Now at first, it didn't really surprise me as there are many old dudes who simply just don't care and they strut around their wrinkly stuff. But this one guy who was in his mid/late 30s came prancing in like he was very glad to be there..somewhat reminded me of British singer Holly Johnson in his 1989 music video "Lovetrain".

He sat down on the planks, looked intently right at me and said "Oooh, the nails are hot!" I didn't acknowlege him, but I looked down at the planks an realized there were NO nails anywhere that were exposed to touch anyones body! Over the next minute or two, he continued to try to make eyes at me and I simply keep looking down minding my own business. He then got up, started walking around in front of me, and proceeded to do some stretches as if he had no respect for what I didn't want to see. I had to basically put my head between my knees in order not to see his ass. He then sat down again and kept looking at me.

Two minutes later, I went to take my shower where there was nobody else taking a shower at the time. The layout of the shower stalls is such where you have a corridor with four shower stalls on each side (eight total). So I went all the way to the end to a stall that had the most potential privacy. A few minutes later, as I was enjoying my warm and relaxing shower, Holly Johnson slowly walked up and into the shower frickin' DIRECTLY ACROSS from me, all while he was giving me this slow, creepy, celestial gaze as he walked in. He didn't even have the descency to pick one of the other five showers where we would be out of eachothers sight! So I immdiately grabbed my towel, covered up, and gave him the f*** off stare.

I later told a couple of my gay friends of the incident. Although, the story made them laugh; they made it clear to me that this guy was completely out of line. Any more thoughts?
.......
 
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OA260
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:20 am



Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
"Oooh, the nails are hot!"

 rotfl   rotfl 

Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
Two minutes later, I went to take my shower where there was nobody else taking a shower at the time. The layout of the shower stalls is such where you have a corridor with four shower stalls on each side (eight total). So I went all the way to the end to a stall that had the most potential privacy. A few minutes later, as I was enjoying my warm and relaxing shower, Holly Johnson slowly walked up and into the shower frickin' DIRECTLY ACROSS from me, all while he was giving me this slow, creepy, celestial gaze as he walked in. He didn't even have the descency to pick one of the other five showers where we would be out of eachothers sight! So I immdiately grabbed my towel, covered up, and gave him the f*** off stare.

Sounds a bit of a stalker alright. He should have gotten the message after a few mins. You did the right thing though to give him a f** off stare. No need to be nasty or verbally say anything , you did the right thing.Some people dont know when to take no for an answer and that goes across the board whether it be a guy or a girl.
 
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PA110
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:21 am

Nope, pretty clear to me. Some folks don't get the hint. Sure, there are lots of pick-ups going on all the time in gyms and healthclubs. Most of my brethren who may be on the prowel have their gaydar tuned well enough to know fairly quickly when they're barking up the wrong tree. This guy either didn't get the hint, or thought he was such hot stuff that he was sure to turn a straight boy. Most of those attempts never end well.

Kudos to you for keeping your cool and just moving on. You shouldn't have had to put up with that. I'm gay, and if that scenario was presented to me, I would have had a few choice words for that preening queen!
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Emirates773ER
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:21 am



Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
Any more thoughts?

Never use public saunas.  Wink
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davestanKSAN
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:21 am

I agree that the guy was completely out of line. Maybe you should have reported him to the gym staff.

Some people get up in arms about this sort of topic, but there's really no need to. The truth is that I've found most gay men behave absolutely as normally as straight men in a locker room type of situation. Chances are that the gay person doesn't want to look at your junk anyway, so there's no need for you to worry about them staring at you. It's a common misconception that some men have, but if you talk to a gay person, they will tell you the same as I just did.

So I'd say you did the right thing, and sorry you had to deal with such a douche.  Smile

Dave
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foppishbum
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:27 am

Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
the story made them laugh

Sorry man, but it is funny.

Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
they made it clear to me that this guy was completely out of line. Any more thoughts?

I agree with them. Holly Johnson was way out of line...I do believe most gay guys (like myself) are not like that lol! I keep my eyesight to myself whenever I go to the gym or in sauna, etc and I like to cover up my body... cus I don't have the world's greatest built lol. Maybe it's the Chinese culture but I seldom make any eye contacts with people I don't know heh and don't like to be naked in public. I can't stand the Japanese hot springs - you have to be completely naked in there.

I personally like my own space and feel very uncomfortable when people look at me with any intention. Even sitting in the lecture hall, I like to have the two seats right next to me unoccupied...a bit sociophobic, eh? LOL!

So after that, are you gonna go back to that gym? Or has it scarred you for life?

[Edited 2007-12-05 16:28:36]
Taiwanese-American :D
 
luv2fly
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:43 am

Here is a brief video of do's and don'ts, no need to thank me!

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fumanchewd
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:29 am



Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
A few months ago, something very peculiar happened to me while at my local Turkish bathhouse. I went into the dry sauna where I frequently go to sweat out testicles.

You were asking for it.  Wink
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redngold
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:39 am



Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
Although, the story made them laugh; they made it clear to me that this guy was completely out of line.

I think that pretty much sums it up; you agree with them. Don't give it another thought.
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seb146
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:16 am

I expect guys to be naked in a locker room. I expect guys to take peeks in a locker room. This guy is a stalker and needs to have his membership revoked! That was way out of line! I used to go to a gym in south Portland. The locker room was lockers, showers, and guys. We went in, did our business, and left. Not much talking just like it should be.
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PA110
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:44 am



Quoting Seb146 (Reply 9):
The locker room was lockers, showers, and guys. We went in, did our business, and left. Not much talking just like it should be.

Hmmmm, just like a bathhouse  Wink
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AA777
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 4:23 am

Ew. The guy sounds like a perv. You have to realize that if you're gay, going into a locker room where there may be attractive, unclothed men makes it hard not to sneak a peek out of the corner of your eye. Just imagine what you would do if the locker rooms were co-ed and you got to see women changing. lol. Again, you might find it hard NOT to look. BUT.... thats in no way, shape, or form a free ticket to stare. Staring is rude and degrading for anyone. Were I you in that situation, I'd mind my own business and look away for as long as possible....but if it continued on the way you described, I'd stare right back at him- except I would have given him a death stare. Maybe then he'd get the point. Some people know nothing of class, consideration or discreetness.... be them gay, straight or in between.

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PureKiwi
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 6:50 am

That guy was waaaay out of line. At the gym I take a peek out of the corner of my eye or look in the mirrors at the hot guys but never stare/stalk/hit onto them ever.

I also see someone else I know is gay taking peeks at other guys in the changing room so I geuss its ok for gays to take a quick look but not acceptable to act like the guy in the first post.
 
TSS
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 7:01 am

Three words: "Eyes front, soldier!".

Yes, the guy was waaaay out of line.
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EWRCabincrew
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 7:36 pm



Quoting TSS (Reply 13):
Three words: "Eyes front, soldier!".

So, "Make a hole!!!" would be bad, too, then?  devil 

Quoting TSS (Reply 13):
Yes, the guy was waaaay out of line.

Big time. Unless of course he was impressed with your meat and two veg and was envious to the point of jealous. Big grin
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slider
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 7:46 pm



Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
He then sat down again and kept looking at me.

That guy needs a good odl fashioned ass whipping, plain and simple. I wouldn't have let any dude do that and carry on repeatedly.

Quoting Joni (Reply 17):
This guy was flirty and a bit forward, but in my opinion not dramatically "out of line".

Wow- I shudder to think of what WOULD be out of line then.
 
gunsontheroof
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 8:00 pm



Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
He sat down on the planks, looked intently right at me and said "Oooh, the nails are hot!" I didn't acknowlege him, but I looked down at the planks an realized there were NO nails anywhere that were exposed to touch anyones body! Over the next minute or two, he continued to try to make eyes at me and I simply keep looking down minding my own business. He then got up, started walking around in front of me, and proceeded to do some stretches as if he had no respect for what I didn't want to see. I had to basically put my head between my knees in order not to see his ass. He then sat down again and kept looking at me.

 rofl 

Not to make fun of your dilemma or anything, but it is a pretty funny story. You told it well. Hopefully, such encounters won't become the norm at your local gym/sauna.

Quoting Slider (Reply 28):

That guy needs a good odl fashioned ass whipping, plain and simple. I wouldn't have let any dude do that and carry on repeatedly.

Ah, how tactful. I suppose you get into your fair shair of public sauna brawls?
 
slider
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 8:13 pm



Quoting Gunsontheroof (Reply 29):
Ah, how tactful. I suppose you get into your fair shair of public sauna brawls?

If some dude starts eyeballing me all creepy like that, tact isn't exactly high on the list.
 
TheCol
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Thu Dec 06, 2007 8:48 pm



Quoting Joni (Reply 17):
Less acceptable would have been if he'd pinched your ass and completely unacceptable if he'd forced you to give him a blowjob.

I believe that would be called sexual assault, which is illegal in most countries.

Quoting Gunsontheroof (Reply 29):
Ah, how tactful. I suppose you get into your fair shair of public sauna brawls?

 sarcastic 
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ADXMatt
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Sun Dec 09, 2007 6:12 pm

Hi JMC,,

Not to minimize your feelings but the story is kind of funny. You did the right thing to just ignore it and take the high road.

Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
He then got up, started walking around in front of me, and proceeded to do some stretches as if he had no respect for what I didn't want to see. I had to basically put my head between my knees in order not to see his ass. He then sat down again and kept looking at me.

That probably would have bothered me too.

I will usually sit on my towel as my gym the wood gets hot and if I was already sweaty the sweat feels like it is burning. I then usually use the excess towen to cover my man parts.

The nails are hot comment was most likely a way to see if you were going to engage in conversation. It was probably hot when he sat down and maybe he thought you saw him make a weird face or something. There is nothing wrong with striking up a conversation. Predatory staring is over the line when the other party is clearly not welcoming it.

Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):
Holly Johnson slowly walked up and into the shower frickin' DIRECTLY ACROSS from me

Your gym doesn't have shower curtains? Either way he should have used one of the other stalls.
 
1MillionFlyer
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Sun Dec 09, 2007 6:20 pm

I hate to break it to you but is usualy the "straight" married men that act like that in the locker rooms. It got so bad in Nashville at the YMCA's that they had to put up signs and install extra lighting.


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Braybuddy
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:05 pm



Quoting ADXMatt (Reply 30):
Your gym doesn't have shower curtains?

I've never seen curtains in gym showers. Why would you want curtains on a cubicle?
 
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falstaff
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Sun Dec 09, 2007 10:42 pm

A couple of years ago there was a sign taped to the sauna door at my gym that read: Lewd acts in the sauna will result in termination of your membership. When I asked the manager what happened all he said was "those two guys are not coming back to the gym" Sex acts in the sauna are not permitted in the sauna at my gym regardless of who you are.

Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 32):
I've never seen curtains in gym showers

my gym has actual doors. I sometimes take a shower at the gym locker room at work (if I am going out after work and no going home first) and there are no doors there.

Quoting Slider (Reply 28):
If some dude starts eyeballing me all creepy like that

I usually have my glasses off while I am naked in the locker room (as I am just about to get in or have just got out of the shower) so I couldn't tell if someone is checking me out or not.

Quoting EWRCabincrew (Reply 25):
your meat and two veg

never heard that one. I always like to use two balls and a bat or twig and berries.  Silly

Wonder what kind of perversion goes on in the ladies locker room?  blush 
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fumanchewd
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Sun Dec 09, 2007 10:53 pm



Quoting Falstaff (Reply 33):
Wonder what kind of perversion goes on in the ladies locker room?

Its crazy! I've seen those late night Cinemax and HBO movies!
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falstaff
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Mon Dec 10, 2007 1:08 am



Quoting Fumanchewd (Reply 34):
Its crazy! I've seen those late night Cinemax and HBO movies!

Me too. I always think that stuff only goes on in the minds of us guys. Well, some of us guys. Regardless of which team we are on we are perverts.
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TACAA320
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Mon Dec 10, 2007 1:33 am



Quoting Jmc1975 (Thread starter):

Gay etiquette ?
As a straight man I never heard that the "etiquette" has a sexual orientation or connotation. Must be the same for hetero and bi.

Advice: next time wear your towel at all time at the sauna.
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TSS
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Mon Dec 10, 2007 2:22 am



Quoting Bwest (Reply 16):
Some gays probably think staring will eventually turn the victim gay as well  Smile (ah, if only!)

That would totally never work for me, as I have one of those stares that people can instantly feel. Every time I even glance at a guy I get busted, so I spend a lot of time counting ceiling tiles in public places.

Quoting BristolFlyer (Reply 22):
I keep my shorts on in public changing rooms and use a towel to keep covered.

You do realize that going to such extreme lengths to keep your naughty bits hidden only arouses the curiosity of guys who normally wouldn't pay any attention at all? The old "Hmmm, I wonder what the heck he's trying so hard to hide?" ploy.

Quoting EWRCabincrew (Reply 25):
So, "Make a hole!!!" would be bad, too, then?

 rotfl   rotfl   rotfl 

Quoting 1MillionFlyer (Reply 31):
I hate to break it to you but is usualy the "straight" married men that act like that in the locker rooms.

Too true! The real freaks are the desperate married guys that are all horned-up for what they can't get at home.
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falstaff
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Mon Dec 10, 2007 3:10 am



Quoting TSS (Reply 37):
The real freaks are the desperate married guys that are all horned-up for what they can't get at home.

Those must be the guys who hang out in Rouge Park in Detroit.
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seb146
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Mon Dec 10, 2007 4:43 pm



Quoting 1MillionFlyer (Reply 31):
I hate to break it to you but is usualy the "straight" married men that act like that in the locker rooms.

That's true. Most of the creepy guys are "straight" or married to a woman. Just the same, get a room! There are plenty of seedy motels in every city that accept cash and an alias. What is with the whole idea that the public wants to watch? It wouldn't bother me so much if it were an adults only venue or place that caters to same-genter trysts, but a gym locker room has families and kids! I don't have a problem taking a shower after a work out. I do feel wierd taking a shower in public because I have a certain piercing. But, I make it understood by not leering at other guys and by not even talking to other guys that I am in a locker room to change and take a shower and nothing more. If somebody in the locker room wants to strike up a conversation with me, he can wait until I have left the locker room. Anything else is just creepy....

Quoting Falstaff (Reply 33):
Sex acts in the sauna are not permitted in the sauna at my gym regardless of who you are.

What about in the shower? LOL That is a good rule!
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KaiGywer
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Mon Dec 10, 2007 5:22 pm



Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 32):
I've never seen curtains in gym showers. Why would you want curtains on a cubicle?

My old gym had four stalls with curtains, the shower tower thing in the middle with four heads and shower heads along the walls.
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HAWK21M
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:00 pm

What if a Gay tries this with a Straight guy.Can the Straight Guy punch him  Smile
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ADXMatt
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RE: Gay Ettiquette In Public Gym Locker Room/sauna

Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:38 pm



Quoting Braybuddy (Reply 32):
I've never seen curtains in gym showers. Why would you want curtains on a cubicle?

The gyms that I've been to had shower curtains except for Bally's and the YMCA. (Both of those just had a wall with showers and not actual stalls.

At the Bally's near me there is a sign on the door to the steam/sauna that stats bathing suit must be worn.

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