fumanchewd
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I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:24 am

I am not a fan of people who pay exhorbitant amounts for basic things. I have recently moved into a new apartment and I have a friend who works for Sealy. He told me that he is allowed to purchase three mattresses a year at a very low flat rate. My mattress before the move was a a cheap $300 dollar deal with multiple dirty fluid stains Wow! that was worn out by some hard action. I asked if he could pick me up a mattress for cheap and he kindly agreed.

I moved into my apartment and he was extremely busy and was not able to help me get the mattress for awhile. I tossed the old mattress because I expected him to pick it up shortly but I finally heard from him last week that he was able to get me a Stearns and Foster pillowtop. I ended up waiting almost 2 months in a sleeping bag on carpet waiting for the mattress, but I knew it was coming and was ok with it. I was overjoyed to learn that Sterns and Foster queen pillowtops start at $1200 and I would be paying less than $500.

So he called me today telling me that he was on the way with the mattress. Well, he shows up with a Sterns and Foster Golden Elegance queen mattress and box spring. After a quick google I saw this...

http://www.us-mattress.com/stearns-a...foster-golden-elegance-boxtop.html


Holy s#$#. I am now the princess and the pea on a $4500 bed. I am a hiker, an outdoorsman, a camper, a ruffian, and I expect to dirty my mattress with wine, beer, and bodily fluids. Yet, I cannot turn this down for the price.

What kind of man am I if I have to use a stepladder to get into bed.

Does anyone else have opinions on overpriced beds?

[Edited 2008-01-30 21:30:50]
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
scrubbsywg
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Matress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:31 am

after seeing that picture, i was going to ask if you needed a stepladder to get into bed. that thing is fucking HIGH!
 
unattendedbag
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:36 am

Treat it like you would a $500 mattress, after all, that is what you paid for it. If you spill something on it, get a new one next year! Just make sure you remain friends.
Slower traffic, keep right
 
fumanchewd
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:37 am



Quoting ScrubbsYWG (Reply 1):
after seeing that picture, i was going to ask if you needed a stepladder to get into bed. that thing is fucking HIGH!

I'm 6'1" and I have to swing my leg horizontal to get up. If I sit on the edge my feet don't touch the ground. I am very worried about my current repotoire of sexual positions. The light on my ceiling fan may just barely be above my head in doggy, and I have 10' ceilings.  Wow! I will have to learn a whole new system of sexual interaction with this incredible height!!!!
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
fumanchewd
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:39 am



Quoting UnattendedBag (Reply 2):
Treat it like you would a $500 mattress, after all, that is what you paid for it. If you spill something on it, get a new one next year! Just make sure you remain friends.

He was actually verrrry lucky. He told me that he has only seen three of these mattresses in the year that he has worked there and he was suprised that he was able to get it for me. This is a once in the lifetime (or 20 years) type of thing.
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
MD11Engineer
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:42 am



Quoting Fumanchewd (Thread starter):
I am now the princess and the pea on a $4500 bed.

In a few years you might become the QUEEN on the pea!  Silly  duck 

Jan
Je Suis Charlie et je suis Ahmet aussi
 
NeilYYZ
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:47 am



Quoting Fumanchewd (Thread starter):

Does anyone else have opinions on overpriced beds?

Yes, after living in a motel for the past 5 months I'd kill for one! Looks like a nice bed, I'd never pay 4500 for it, but if someone offered me one for the price you paid I'd get it in a heartbeat.
It may be too early to drink scotch... But it is NEVER too early to think about it...
 
lobster
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:49 am

F@ck it! Sell it, buy yourself a nice $500 mattress and take a trip!  Big grin  Big grin



I can't believe someone would pay that much for a bed thats not even air. I thought my $800 was REALLY expensive. Damn.
 
mandala499
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:49 am

Jerk and mattress?
something's "off"...

Perhaps a hi-loader would be more suited to get on that bed! LOL
When losing situational awareness, pray Cumulus Granitus isn't nearby !
 
fumanchewd
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:51 am



Quoting Mandala499 (Reply 8):
Jerk and mattress?
something's "off"...

Mandala, you know my dating life!!

We are all so much the same on the internet.
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
fumanchewd
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 5:53 am

I actually spoke to my friend of 15 years about this today and he was going apes#%#. He told me that I could walk in any bar and ask the girls if they want to be the first in my 5k bed! That's not my style though. I much prefer to tell them that my 2" penis is 8.  Smile
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
Pyrex
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:09 am



Quoting Fumanchewd (Thread starter):
Does anyone else have opinions on overpriced beds?

Can't really say I ever gave that issue much thought...  Smile
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fumanchewd
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:17 am



Quoting Pyrex (Reply 11):

Can't really say I ever gave that issue much thought...

I will do a sleep report in the AM. Just keep in mind that I've had 4 Blue Moons already and am into my 2nd Peroni which may inhibit the report. But then again, its about any other night so I do have a point to initiate comparisons....
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
Pyrex
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:19 am

4 Blue Moons and 2 Peronis? Sounds like a good way to, hem, christen the mattress with bodily fluids in its first night.
Read this very carefully, I shall write this only once!
 
fumanchewd
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:22 am

Nah, I'm good. My bladder is so small that I have to pee hard from my body absorbing water during a rain. I go to bed empty.
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
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viaggiare
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:27 am



Quoting Fumanchewd (Reply 3):
I am very worried about my current repotoire of sexual positions. The light on my ceiling fan may just barely be above my head in doggy

Mythbusters had an episode on decapitation by a ceiling fan and here's what they found...

"Normal household fans do not have the power even to inflict serious injury while spinning at top speed—they are more likely to break first. An industrial fan is capable of inflicting a fatal injury, but is not powerful enough to take a head off. Even a purpose-built razor-sharp, stainless steel fan powered by a lawn mower engine could not completely sever a head from the neck."

You could always use the carpet for any stunts which might entail a risk of having other body parts severed or otherwise mutilated.
Entre el fuerte y el débil, la libertad oprime. Sólo la ley libera.
 
fumanchewd
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:30 am



Quoting Viaggiare (Reply 15):
"Normal household fans do not have the power even to inflict serious injury while spinning at top speed—they are more likely to break first. An industrial fan is capable of inflicting a fatal injury, but is not powerful enough to take a head off. Even a purpose-built razor-sharp, stainless steel fan powered by a lawn mower engine could not completely sever a head from the neck."

You could always use the carpet for any stunts which might entail a risk of having other body parts severed or otherwise mutilated.

This is true. However, one of my fave's is to have the girl do doggy on the floor with her body laying on the bed. Does anyone know any 7' women to do this on my new mattress?
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
Pyrex
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:37 am



Quoting Fumanchewd (Reply 16):
Does anyone know any 7' women to do this on my new mattress?

I actually do. Bur believe me, you do not want to go there...
Read this very carefully, I shall write this only once!
 
fumanchewd
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:42 am



Quoting Pyrex (Reply 17):
I actually do. Bur believe me, you do not want to go there...

Don't get me wrong, I am desperate, but I would never f#%# with Chewbacca's girl.
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
LASoctoberB6
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 6:51 am



Quoting Fumanchewd (Reply 3):
I'm 6'1" and I have to swing my leg horizontal to get up. If I sit on the edge my feet don't touch the ground. I am very worried about my current repotoire of sexual positions. The light on my ceiling fan may just barely be above my head in doggy, and I have 10' ceilings. Wow! I will have to learn a whole new system of sexual interaction with this incredible height!!!!

 scared   eek  Uh..... um... I- I- think I'm just gonna press that back button now on my browser...  beady   covereyes 


TMI !!
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j_hallgren
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:01 am

Geeez! I'm 6'-9" and I'd likely not be able to touch the floor with that thing!
I don't get why people want beds so high...I like to be able sit on edge and tie my shoes, and that wouldn't work with that height.

About ceiling fans: They CAN hurt! I've been hit by a couple over the years that I forgot were there in friends houses...but it also really depends on which way the blades are turning...the lower edge first, and then top edge is worse, as the other direction, it's not much of a hit, but more of a slap.
COBOL - Not a dead language yet!
 
ZBBYLW
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:02 am

WOW great deal on the bed! I have a feeling you might beable to come up with some new positions rather then do the old ones over and over. Or you could just take a step ladder and do you other one... its your call...
Keep the shinny side up!
 
AirTranTUS
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:16 am

I love ASO!
 
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Jetsgo
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:48 am

$4500.....is it $4500 comfortable? I can't imagine it...

Congrats though...
Marine Corps Aviation, The Last To Let You Down!
 
NoUFO
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:37 am



Quoting Fumanchewd (Thread starter):
I am a hiker, an outdoorsman, a camper,

Same here, and just like you, I spent a fortune on my bed, - and I have no regrets.

Maybe it's a clear sign that I'm getting older and smug, but I would say there are two things that are worth spending loads of money on: Food and a good bed. Both are basic things.

Hopefully you have tested the mattress for firmness and comfort before purchasing it, though.
I support the right to arm bears
 
MD11Engineer
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 11:44 am



Quoting NoUFO (Reply 24):
Maybe it's a clear sign that I'm getting older and smug, but I would say there are two things that are worth spending loads of money on: Food and a good bed. Both are basic things.

Actually a Norwegian proverb used to say that a man needed two things of good quality: Good boots and a good bed, since, if he isn't in one, he will be in the other.

Jan
Je Suis Charlie et je suis Ahmet aussi
 
huskyaviation
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:31 pm



Quoting NoUFO (Reply 24):
Same here, and just like you, I spent a fortune on my bed, - and I have no regrets.

Maybe it's a clear sign that I'm getting older and smug, but I would say there are two things that are worth spending loads of money on: Food and a good bed. Both are basic things.

I agree...you're gonna spend 15-33% of your life in a bed, might as well be comfortable!

No comment on the other myriad stuff Fuman talked about in this thread  Wow!
 
luv2cattlecall
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Fri Feb 01, 2008 9:05 am

Not sure about a sky high bed, but I highly recommend everyone experience the "Tempurpedic Tango" at least once in their life! The hookers like it so much that they usually give me 50% off  Big grin !
.
 
fumanchewd
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Fri Feb 01, 2008 5:35 pm



Quoting Luv2cattlecall (Reply 27):
The hookers like it so much that they usually give me 50% off !

I already got that before my mattress. But then again, they are usually midgets and 50% smaller.
In the time of chimpanzees, I was a monkey...
 
emiratesa345
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RE: I Am Now A Jerk With An Overpriced Mattress

Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:22 pm



Quoting UnattendedBag (Reply 2):
Treat it like you would a $500 mattress, after all, that is what you paid for it. If you spill something on it, get a new one next year! Just make sure you remain friends.

Or... if you spill something on it, it looks like you can just rip the top part off and sleep on the rest of it.

-Mark
You and I were meant to fly, Air Canada!

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