SmithAir747
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A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Fri Feb 08, 2008 6:12 pm

OK...time for Friday's REALLY stupid, morbid thread: What kind of coffin do YOU really want, if you could choose it? That's if you have the opportunity to pre-plan your own funeral, instead of what the funeral director THINKS your family should put you in.

I'll start out. As an Irish-descended American, I really want one of the traditional Irish simple wooden coffins, which are 6-sided ("toe-pinchers" as they are commonly referred to as).

One example is this one from Remeire ( http://www.remeire.com ), an Irish company supplying coffins to the American market (there is a demand among Irish-Americans for a traditional Irish funeral). This lovely example sports a relief carving of St. Patrick (one of my patron saints) on its side:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/SmithAlien747/lismore_coffin_lg.jpg


Or, here's another alternative I'm thinking about--a lovely, utterly simple, plain pine or oak coffin made by the Trappist monks at New Melleray Abbey in Iowa ( http://www.trappistcaskets.com ). It would fit well with my tastes--utterly simple, like my primary patron saint (St. Francis of Assisi) would have loved. There is no fancy ornamentation on it, just a simple wooden cross on top:




Those two above appeal to me much more than the typical over-ornamented, very expensive US caskets, commonly sold through funeral homes.

Now it's your turn: What would YOU honestly want?

Would you want a simple wooden coffin?

Or would you want to take the plunge and splurge a tiny bit on the two extreme examples following?

1) Batesville's "Promethean" 48-oz bronze, gold-plated casket, perhaps the world's most extravagant and expensive (between $18,000 and $25,000). Is a casket REALLY worth that much? A nice used luxury car could be had for that price...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v655/SmithAlien747/PrometheanFullSize.jpg


2) Or, if you want to follow the example of the Egyptians, and live on immortally through modern mummification...There is actually a company called Summum ( http://www.summum.org ) that will mummify you for a cool $67,000! You could either be put in an Egyptian-styled mummiform case, or a Time Capsule case.






So, what would you choose? Have fun, and dream up what box you want!

SmithAir747
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made... (Psalm 139:14)
 
airfoilsguy
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Fri Feb 08, 2008 6:26 pm

Burn me and use the ashes as plant fertilizer. Cemeteries are a wast of good land.
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Toast
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Fri Feb 08, 2008 6:26 pm

Cool thread!  ghost  Big grin

Let's see... I'm gonna donate my body to science after I kick the bucket. Let them salvage anything useful and save somebody else's life with it. I don't know what the procedures are when your body is in pieces, but they can put whatever remains in jars of formaldehyde for all I care. Creeping the shit out of first-year medical students sounds like fun.  devil 

I really don't care, though. A garbage can or a plastic bag, and a landfill or compost heap all suit me fine. The only thing I wouldn't want is wasting cash on a fancy funeral. That's why I'll make sure to die penniless. It's not like I'm taking money anywhere.

I also like the idea of my friends burning my ass and having a huge BBQ over it.  Smile
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PlymSpotter
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Fri Feb 08, 2008 6:31 pm

I don't particularly want a coffin, wrap me in a cloth and bung me in the ground will do, or preferably cremate my body on a pyre - but I seem to remember that doing is now illegal in the UK for some reason. I think of my body rather like a shell - it's the spirit inside which counts, and that moves on when you die.

Fingers crossed it's not yet a while though!


Dan Smile
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Rara
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Fri Feb 08, 2008 7:56 pm

I want to be cremated - don't like the idea of my body slowly decomposing, stinking and eaten by worms. And then buried anonymously, without a tombstone. My grandparents are buried somewhere under a large, green meadow with some trees, no tombstones anywhere... I think that's lovely. Above all I don't want my family to spend any more money than absolutely necessary.

Good thread idea though!
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EWRCabincrew
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Fri Feb 08, 2008 8:10 pm

After I have donated uesful parts, it's off to the furnace for me. In keeping with me being gay, no box for me. Big grin  Silly
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Halcyon
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Fri Feb 08, 2008 8:59 pm



Quoting PlymSpotter (Reply 3):
cremate my body on a pyre

That or something simple. I really won't care by that time.
 
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aerorobnz
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Fri Feb 08, 2008 9:41 pm

Drop me in a hole in the ground and leave me to rot in peace (into pieces). I want no funeral, no casket, no tombstone.
Flown to 120 Airports in 44 Countries on 73 Operators. Visited 55 Countries and counting. Wanderlust is like Syphilis, once you have the itch it's too late for treatment.
 
IFEMaster
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Fri Feb 08, 2008 10:09 pm

My current last will and testimony has me ending up as...



...and being sprinkled...

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LHboyatDTW
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Fri Feb 08, 2008 10:31 pm

Morbid thread indeed.

I'd just like to have my ass get cremated and spread out somewhere like Northern MI. The idea of a coffin kinda creeps me out, considering that I am somewhat claustrophobic. Also cemeteries while interesting are a large waste of land in my opinion.
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scottieprecord
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Fri Feb 08, 2008 10:44 pm

No coffin necessary...

Two options:
a) to science
b) cremated, part of it spread in a few places around Texas, and the rest loaded up into fireworks to be shot off at the night-time funeral / BBQ  Smile
 
57AZ
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Fri Feb 08, 2008 10:55 pm

I would prefer the Trappist casket as I intend to be cremated. As shown above, the casket is simple wooden and the metallic hardware can be replaced with wooden handles for the purpose of cremation.
"When a man runs on railroads over half of his lifetime he is fit for nothing else-and at times he don't know that."
 
NoUFO
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Wan

Sat Feb 09, 2008 12:04 am



Quoting Scottieprecord (Reply 10):
a) to science

Spent the last week of January in a University hospital and while I was checking-in they asked me if anything goes seriously wrong like it did the other day if they could have my "*caugh* dead body for *ahem* ... uh... autopsy" then.
I agreed, but it did feel odd.
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JAGflyer
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 12:59 am

Support the beer and soda can industry, your recycle old airplanes!
 
An-225
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 1:14 am

I just want to be cremated and I wouldn't want to have a large funeral. No funeral, no crying and no religion please, thanks.

Alex.
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alfa75
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:51 am

How about having this done?

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skyyblue
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:54 am

Discussed this with my mother after coming home from my great-grandmother's funeral. I want to be cremated. I told my mother to go skydiving (she is petrified of flying) with my remains and sprinkle me in the air.
 
arluna
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 4:13 am

Hello all,

For me it'll be the Body Farm at the University of Tennessee Forensic Science Lab.

They will put me outside and study the rate of decomposition or whatever else they do.

When they've completed that they will take the skeleton that's left and use it in a classroom somewhere.

Sounds like fun, huh?

J
 
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 5:20 am



Quoting EWRCabincrew (Reply 5):
After I have donated uesful parts, it's off to the furnace for me. In keeping with me being gay, no box for me.

Apart from donating any usefull parts as I doubt there will be any after years of drinking & smoking . Thats the same for me EWRC
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QFA380
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 5:50 am

Lots of people wanting to have their bodies given to science. I think I'll just have a fairly simple coffin, get cremated and have my ashes scattered but have a plaque somewhere. The only reason for this is so if anyone ever feels like doing some family history they will be able to find me and know a little about me.
 
skyyblue
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 6:02 am



Quoting QFA380 (Reply 19):
I think I'll just have a fairly simple coffin, get cremated and have my ashes scattered but have a plaque somewhere. The only reason for this is so if anyone ever feels like doing some family history they will be able to find me and know a little about me.

Why have the coffin if you get cremated?
 
QFA380
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 6:08 am



Quoting SKYYBLUE (Reply 20):

For the funeral....?
 
SmithAir747
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 6:12 am

Quoting QFA380 (Reply 19):
Lots of people wanting to have their bodies given to science. I think I'll just have a fairly simple coffin, get cremated and have my ashes scattered but have a plaque somewhere. The only reason for this is so if anyone ever feels like doing some family history they will be able to find me and know a little about me.

I don't know anything about Australian law on funeral practices, including caskets for cremation, but is a coffin required for cremation? Are you planning to have a wake and funeral prior to cremation? Or do you plan on direct cremation after death, with a memorial service later on? If you want a funeral prior to cremation, you could get by with just a simple wooden coffin--and get cremated in it (if there are no metal pieces in the coffin). Otherwise, for direct cremation, is a coffin still required? Or can you just get cremated in a cardboard box?

In the USA, the law says that no coffin is necessary for cremation. Cremation is normally the cheapest way to go--if your body is directly cremated after death. Funeral homes, however, in the name of profit, will try to sell you all kinds of caskets for cremation--such as wooden coffins or cloth-covered caskets that are marketed for cremation, pushing up the price. In fact some casket companies make special caskets that look like normal caskets on the outside, but have a removable interior liner (cardboard box) that gets cremated whilst the outer shell gets reused. Sometimes, funeral homes will "rent" a nice casket for the wake and funeral, then take the body out and cremate it, and reuse the casket.

But US law specifically states that no coffin is required for cremation--even a cardboard box will do just fine. It's the funeral homes themselves that try to "hard-sell" you a fancy casket, even for cremation! In fact, funeral homes in the USA often run afoul of the law and gouge grieving families with all kinds of upsells!

What do Australian funeral providers do?

SmithAir747

[Edited 2008-02-08 22:15:22]
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made... (Psalm 139:14)
 
57AZ
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 6:16 am



Quoting SKYYBLUE (Reply 20):
Why have the coffin if you get cremated?

In many places, the body is required to be put into a container for health/sanitation reasons. For obvious reasons, crematories can only accept a body that is in a combustible container such as a fiberboard transportation container or a wooden casket or coffin. Most wooden casket makers offer models for traditional burial and cremation. Traditional burial caskets have metal hardware such as handles for the pallbearers while cremation caskets have wooden handles and no or very little metal hardware. Interior finish also differs.
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QFA380
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 6:27 am



Quoting SmithAir747 (Reply 22):

I have no idea of the laws, I think rent-a-casket and cardboard ones are legal. Except I'd prefer my own coffin than one that a few other people have been in too (I know they replace the linings but still).
 
SmithAir747
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 6:32 am



Quoting QFA380 (Reply 24):

Quoting SmithAir747 (Reply 22):


I have no idea of the laws, I think rent-a-casket and cardboard ones are legal. Except I'd prefer my own coffin than one that a few other people have been in too (I know they replace the linings but still).

I'm curious...What do the coffins in Australia look like? Do they look like traditional Anglo-Irish wooden coffins with 6 sides (like the ones I showed in my thread opener), or do you have rectangular "caskets" with half-couch lids (split lids, with the head panel open for viewing)?

SmithAir747
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aerorobnz
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 6:54 am



Quoting SmithAir747 (Reply 25):
I'm curious...What do the coffins in Australia look like?

If it's like NZ, and i think it is, the smaller Anglo Irish style is far more common.
Flown to 120 Airports in 44 Countries on 73 Operators. Visited 55 Countries and counting. Wanderlust is like Syphilis, once you have the itch it's too late for treatment.
 
babybus
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 7:08 am

I suspect when I die, I will rise again and be assumed bodily into the heavens.  Wink

Dying, it's such a waste of time.
and with that..cabin crew, seats for landing please.
 
co777er
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 8:03 am

What ever COSTCO has on sale at the time is fine with me.


http://www.costco.com/Common/Categor...C|20595&lang=en-US&whse=BC&topnav=
Just kidding
 
QFA380
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Wan

Sat Feb 09, 2008 10:00 am



Quoting SmithAir747 (Reply 25):

Yeah, as AerorobNZ said the 6 sided ones are much more common. I've never see or even heard of a rectangular one being used. Another thing we do differently is very very few funerals are open casket which is probably why we use coffins. The 6 sided ones are much cheaper, some of the best ones you can buy cost about as much as the cheapest caskets.

Quoting Babybus (Reply 27):
Dying, it's such a waste of time.

I must agree, although its easier for those that are still here, the sooner they die the less pensions they get. Big grin So it saves us working to pay taxes as we pay less taxes, so we waste less time. So them not dieing is a waste of time.  Wink
 
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OA260
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 10:59 am

I like the Indian tradition of floating on a burning raft surrounded by nightlights !!!

Or you could go for this one in Ghana :::

 
HT
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 12:01 pm



Quoting 57AZ (Reply 23):
Quoting SKYYBLUE (Reply 20):Why have the coffin if you get cremated?In many places, the body is required to be put into a container for health/sanitation reasons. For obvious reasons, crematories can only accept a body that is in a combustible container such as a fiberboard transportation container or a wooden casket or coffin. Most wooden casket makers offer models for traditional burial and cremation. Traditional burial caskets have metal hardware such as handles for the pallbearers while cremation caskets have wooden handles and no or very little metal hardware. Interior finish also differs.

IIRC, over here in Germany there is the option to rent a coffin to be used for the funeral service prior to cremation off-site. After the funeral service the corps will be moved to a much more basic coffin that will be burnt during the cremation.

Also, there were reports a while ago, that corpses were removed from expensive coffins prior to cremation. The expensive coffin then was sold & re-used (without an okay from the original buyer) while the corps was incinerated seperately. These actions were preformed by criminal personell of the crematorium.

______________
Related question:
Is the coffin open or closed during the funeral service where you live ?
Over here in protestantic northern Germany it is "closed".
-HT
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 12:18 pm



Quoting Toast (Reply 2):
Creeping the shit out of first-year medical students sounds like fun.

Trust me, some of us were a fair bit creepier than any dead body in the hall.  duck  But yes, we do very much appreciate the donations, though our ways of coping may seem odd at times.

Quoting CO777ER (Reply 28):
What ever COSTCO has on sale at the time is fine with me.

Speaking of which:



Yes, that is a fridge right next to the caskets.  ill 
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MadameConcorde
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Wan

Sat Feb 09, 2008 12:48 pm

I want some of my ashes to be sent off to Space and float around the universe for time eternal whichever way possible. There must be a cost to this, I am not sure how much. The rest can go to the sea off Waikiki beach or Rarotonga.

There has to be something beforehand. A service of sorts.

I want it to be in the form of a giant organ concert. Several virtuoso organist friends would be playing a "special" for me on a very large church organ in an unconventional manner. Improvisations as well as written music. Messiaen or Max Reger, or whatever else they want to play. No bla-bla-bla, or singers, or hymns, or priest. Whoever is in the church at that time will get an optimal, never heard before, organ concert. Just like some set practice time, only there will be three or four geniuses coming to play my final concert.

No coffin or flowers. I want something totally anonymous. A small box with the ashes hidden in the organ loft will do fine.
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Pe@rson
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 1:14 pm

Gees. I'm only 25. I have at least another 200 years before I must consider such a thing.
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gkirk
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 1:33 pm



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skidmarks
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 2:33 pm

It's getting too close for comfort now and I'd rather just think about living whatever I have left as opposed to worrying about what to do with my cadaver when my soul shuffles off this mortal coil!

However, I rather like the idea of a burial with a black-and-yellow handle for emergencies or just in case! Big grin

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Toast
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 2:38 pm



Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 36):
worrying about what to do with my cadaver when my soul shuffles off this mortal coil!

Donate it to the British Museum?  duck 
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gkirk
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 2:40 pm



Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 36):
It's getting too close for comfort now

 rotfl 
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aerorobnz
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sat Feb 09, 2008 11:11 pm



Quoting Skidmarks (Reply 36):
However, I rather like the idea of a burial with a black-and-yellow handle for emergencies or just in case!

have an exit row window and emergency slide placed in the side of your coffin.
Flown to 120 Airports in 44 Countries on 73 Operators. Visited 55 Countries and counting. Wanderlust is like Syphilis, once you have the itch it's too late for treatment.
 
TSS
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sun Feb 10, 2008 2:25 am

For a coffin, just a basic black or navy blue model with silver-toned (no gold, please) fittings will be fine with me. The only extra-cost option I'd like is a dark-colored lining, as I hate pastels.

Whether I like it or not I'll be buried in the family plot, and I even know exactly which space is mine. Before anyone asks, yes, I make a point of dancing on that very spot every time I'm there. Big grin

I'd like for alcohol to be served at my viewing and at my funeral, but unfortunately both the funeral home and church where these events will be held are in a dry county.  Sad
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jetjack74
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RE: A Stupid Morbid Thread: What Coffin Do You Want?

Sun Feb 10, 2008 3:01 am

I concur

Ashes to ashes
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