Zach60
Topic Author
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 5:35 pm

Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 3:09 pm

I posted a few months ago under -'Wife wants more lovin'

My wife told me yesterday she wants a divorce.She said she told me she wanted more from a husband than just a housemate to rear children. I have to admit I didn't do many of the suggestions I was told but I never thought she would go to this level.

I never thought before about being divorced and not seeing my kids everyday.That is what is causing an ache inside me most.
 
ajd1992
Posts: 2390
Joined: Mon Jul 24, 2006 7:11 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 3:20 pm



Quoting Zach60 (Thread starter):
I have to admit I didn't do many of the suggestions I was told but I never thought she would go to this level.

From this statement alone, I doubt you're going to get much sympathy from us...

And plus you don't really post this sorta stuff on the internet.

You lost your kids through your own doing, so it's your fault.
 
Rara
Posts: 2296
Joined: Wed Jan 17, 2007 7:41 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 4:20 pm



Quoting Ajd1992 (Reply 1):

And plus you don't really post this sorta stuff on the internet.

True, that's because people like you helpfully jump in with a three-line analysis of someone else's marriage problem! Completely unnecessary.

Who's "fault" it is is not up to you to judge, and if you have nothing else to offer, I suggest you stay out of it.
Samson was a biblical tough guy, but his dad Samsonite was even more of a hard case.
 
iairallie
Posts: 2326
Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 5:42 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 4:27 pm

Sounds like she tried telling you what she needed out of the relationship and for whatever reason you didn't think it was worth the effort. What did you expect the end result to be? Marriages take lots of work.
Enough about flying lets talk about me!
 
AGM100
Posts: 5077
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2003 2:16 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 4:27 pm



Quoting Zach60 (Thread starter):
never thought before about being divorced and not seeing my kids everyday.That is what is causing an ache inside me most.

Now is the time to do something about it. Please believe me ,,, nothing good will come from your divorce. Unless you are getting your kids away from violence or drug and alcohol abuse.

This will haunt you for the rest of your life , do everything within your power to keep your family together. We did not , (My Ex and I) and I see the pain and confusion in my kids all the time. Be honest with your wife and open your soul to her , if she rejects it then you have to do whatever needs to be done. But please just be sure that you satisfy yourself that you honestly and deeply tried to keep your family together.

I hope the best for you ,
You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
 
User avatar
HAWK21M
Posts: 29867
Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2001 10:05 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 4:37 pm

Maybe you both can work out a solution & get back on track for the sake of the kids.
Put in that extra effort & see.A solution will def arise.

regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
iairallie
Posts: 2326
Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 5:42 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 4:43 pm

I do have to agree with AG and Hawk. Though I think you may have left it too late it is still worth the effort to save the marriage especially for the sake of your children.
Enough about flying lets talk about me!
 
planewasted
Posts: 460
Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2008 11:47 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 4:52 pm

If he doesn't love his wife enough, how can it be his fault? Such things happen, what to do?
Divorce in a good and mature way will probably be the best in the long run.
 
AGM100
Posts: 5077
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2003 2:16 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 5:09 pm



Quoting PlaneWasted (Reply 11):
Divorce in a good and mature way will probably be the best in the long run.

Very hard to divorce in a " good and mature way" there will be pain . Of course the adults have to be "business" like but the pain of failure and the hole that is left in your heart are hard to heal. No matter what the situation is , My wife left me for someone else , I still blame myself in some way. Always wondering , what I could have done better , did I push her away without even knowing , was I a big ass and never even realized. These are questions that come in the middle of the night , and prey on your mind. Unless you just dont care , some people go on and just dont care about any of it.

How do you teach your daughters about love and life and how to treat their future spouse when your marriage is pile of smoking wreckage ?

There are so many reasons to keep your marriage together , they far out number the reasons to let is crash. In my opinion anyway ... that all.
You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
 
planewasted
Posts: 460
Joined: Thu Jan 17, 2008 11:47 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 5:35 pm

Ok, you have much more experience with love than I do and I respect that (I'm worthless with girls    ). I just try to apply some rational thinking. Of course these matters are never easy and there are lots of things to consider.

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 12):
Very hard to divorce in a " good and mature way" there will be pain . Of course the adults have to be "business" like but the pain of failure and the hole that is left in your heart are hard to heal. No matter what the situation is , My wife left me for someone else , I still blame myself in some way. Always wondering , what I could have done better , did I push her away without even knowing , was I a big ass and never even realized.

Of course there will be pain. But what is best, pain for a while or pain for the rest of your life? And don't blame yourself. You and your wife were probably just not the perfect match, that's noones fault.

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 12):
How do you teach your daughters about love and life and how to treat their future spouse when your marriage is pile of smoking wreckage ?

Not by being married to someone you don't love. Meeting a new woman that you really love will teach your daughters much more about love. I really hope and I think it's quite likely you will meet that woman someday.  

[Edited 2008-09-11 10:36:33]
 
dragon6172
Posts: 795
Joined: Sat Jul 14, 2007 9:56 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 5:44 pm

May I suggest you cancel your membership to a.net and any other forums you participate in. If you want to talk to someone about your relationship, talk to your friends, talk to your family, talk to your therapist, talk to your wife!! Talk to people who know you for advice, not a bunch of faceless posters on the internet. Spend less time on the .com and more with the wife and family, especially if times at home are rough.

Best of luck to you.
Phrogs Phorever
 
AGM100
Posts: 5077
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2003 2:16 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 6:12 pm



Quoting PlaneWasted (Reply 13):
Not by being married to someone you don't love

Valid point , but my take on it is this. I believe that it is very rare that you meet someone who you fall in lasting love with right away. I will admit after much time and thought about my relationship that I did not truly love my ex wife in the beginning. Sure , we were "in love " having alot of fun ... hanging out all the time , talking on the phone all the time ... could not wait to see each other. What I can say is that I fell in love with her over time. I fell in love with her after suffering with her though hard times . We were once a team , raising kids , making a home and relying on each other for support. This is what I call true Love. When that falls apart it is very hard to regain with anyone else.

Quoting PlaneWasted (Reply 13):
I really hope and I think it's quite likely you will meet that woman someday

Naa , having more fun with my kids and my fishing boat ... thanks . It takes alot of work to build love , it is not a magic spell. It is a long road that has amazing good times on it .. and some tough hills to climb.
You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
 
Rj111
Posts: 3007
Joined: Wed Sep 08, 2004 9:02 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 6:26 pm

Actually i think the anonymity of the internet can often be a good medium to talk about close things. As long as it's presented and discussed in a intelligent way and you only use it as general guidance.

However, I didn't see you previous post and have no idea of what happened, so i'm out.
 
EasternSon
Posts: 637
Joined: Fri Jun 02, 2006 10:07 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 9:23 pm

Do you still want to be married to her?

From the original post, it sounds like you love your children, and will miss them, but aren't too concerned about the end of your relationship.
"The only people for me are the mad ones...." Jack Kerouac
 
747srule
Posts: 388
Joined: Thu Mar 25, 2004 11:42 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:42 pm

If it has tits or tires,it's gonna be trouble.
Jesus is the way,the truth,and the life
 
jetblueguy22
Posts: 2509
Joined: Thu Nov 29, 2007 12:26 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:48 pm



Quoting AGM100 (Reply 3):
Now is the time to do something about it. Please believe me ,,, nothing good will come from your divorce.

Tell me about it. My parents divorced when I was in the 1st grade. I like my stepdad (don't get me started bout stepmom) but it just isn't the same. You should try really hard to prevent this. Because if you think its tough for you I guarantee its a 100 times harder on the kids.
Blue
All of the opinions stated above are mine and do not represent Airliners.net or my employer unless otherwise stated.
 
NIKV69
Posts: 10889
Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2004 4:27 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:52 pm



Quoting Zach60 (Thread starter):
'Wife wants more lovin'

This statement is pretty easy, why didn't you heed this?

Quoting Dragon6172 (Reply 10):
May I suggest you cancel your membership to a.net and any other forums you participate in. If you want to talk to someone about your relationship, talk to your friends, talk to your family, talk to your therapist, talk to your wife!! Talk to people who know you for advice, not a bunch of faceless posters on the internet. Spend less time on the .com and more with the wife and family, especially if times at home are rough



Greatest post in this history of this site.
Hey that guy with the private jet can bail us out! Why? HE CAN AFFORD IT!
 
AirframeAS
Posts: 9811
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2004 3:56 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 11, 2008 11:28 pm



Quoting Ajd1992 (Reply 1):
Quoting Zach60 (Thread starter):
I have to admit I didn't do many of the suggestions I was told but I never thought she would go to this level.

From this statement alone, I doubt you're going to get much sympathy from us...

And plus you don't really post this sorta stuff on the internet.

You lost your kids through your own doing, so it's your fault.

Sorry, dude... But I got to go with Ajd1992 on this one, as much as reality hurts. Man up and move on. It is not worth hurting over... at least you'll get your freedom back, well, some of it...

Quoting IAirAllie (Reply 4):
Marriages take lots of work.

Allie said it better than I could. Marriage isn't a bf/gf type relationship at all. Marriage is a life committment.

Quoting Dragon6172 (Reply 10):
May I suggest you cancel your membership to a.net and any other forums you participate in. If you want to talk to someone about your relationship, talk to your friends, talk to your family, talk to your therapist, talk to your wife!! Talk to people who know you for advice, not a bunch of faceless posters on the internet. Spend less time on the .com and more with the wife and family, especially if times at home are rough.

 checkmark  I did this when my last ex-gf and I were having tough times...it didn't work and she left me eventually. It was all for the best. But now, I have a new gf and I am not even on A.net when I am around her.
A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
 
skysurfer
Posts: 1034
Joined: Wed Sep 15, 2004 5:37 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Fri Sep 12, 2008 12:00 am

I divorced my wife after 1 year of telling her it was coming if things didin't change * i wont go into it), but she stuck her head in the sand and i left. It's a shame yes but both sides have to be open and honest and recognize each other's side.......if only one party see's what's going on then why is it worth staying on the path to nowhere? It takes TWO to make a marriage and TWO to save it......mine didn't work out and i don't regret it because i know i did all i could but the other party didn't want to! oh well

Cheers

Stu
In the dark you can't see ugly, but you can feel fat
 
Superfly
Posts: 37735
Joined: Thu May 11, 2000 8:01 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:02 pm

Zach60:
Sorry about your marriage problems.
Look at the bright side. Your next woman will be younger & hotter.  Smile
Bring back the Concorde
 
AirframeAS
Posts: 9811
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2004 3:56 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:16 pm



Quoting Superfly (Reply 19):
Your next woman will be younger & hotter.  Smile

That is what I have now... And I'm happy!  Wink
A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
 
Flighty
Posts: 7651
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2007 3:07 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce.

Sat Sep 13, 2008 4:03 pm

Why not consider an open marriage... it's better than splitting your family up.

Quoting AGM100 (Reply 3):
Now is the time to do something about it. Please believe me ,,, nothing good will come from your divorce. Unless you are getting your kids away from violence or drug and alcohol abuse.

Exactly.


Good luck

[Edited 2008-09-13 09:07:42]
 
User avatar
HAWK21M
Posts: 29867
Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2001 10:05 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Sun Sep 14, 2008 10:17 am



Quoting Flighty (Reply 21):

Why not consider an open marriage... it's better than splitting your family up.

Makes sense.....That way the kids won't suffer & you both can live normally too.
regds
MEL.
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
ual757
Posts: 745
Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 12:58 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Sun Sep 14, 2008 4:03 pm



Quoting AirframeAS (Reply 20):
That is what I have now... And I'm happy! Wink

Ohh lucky!
 
A346Dude
Posts: 1161
Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2004 11:23 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Sun Sep 14, 2008 4:45 pm



Quoting Flighty (Reply 21):
Why not consider an open marriage... it's better than splitting your family up.

That sounds like a terrible compromise, just to avoid doing what may be hard but is probably necessary. It might last for a year or two but I can never see it working in the long run. It won't spare the kids either as they are very perceptive in these matters and are not easily fooled.
You know the gear is up and locked when it takes full throttle to taxi to the terminal.
 
Flighty
Posts: 7651
Joined: Thu Apr 05, 2007 3:07 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Sun Sep 14, 2008 6:32 pm



Quoting A346Dude (Reply 24):
It might last for a year or two but I can never see it working in the long run. It won't spare the kids either as they are very perceptive in these matters and are not easily fooled.

But again, divorce is even worse. A lot of successful marriages have included affairs over the years. I guess people keep it a secret most of the time.

More important is, can these people "get along" in a home environment or are they constantly fighting. What happens around the kitchen table is more important raising kids than what happens behind closed doors (or across town after hours).... ymmv
 
User avatar
HAWK21M
Posts: 29867
Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2001 10:05 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Sun Sep 14, 2008 8:36 pm



Quoting A346Dude (Reply 24):
It won't spare the kids either as they are very perceptive in these matters and are not easily fooled.

True....But if both parents handle it well......thinking of the kids in mind...It will work.its worth a try though.

regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
yka
Posts: 723
Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2001 3:00 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce.

Tue Sep 16, 2008 6:10 pm

Women are evil. Period. They have some inborn instinct that urges them to change partnters on a regular basis. Probably something to do with spreading genes. A man has the same drive but can usually be married to one chic(an prefers it that way) for a liftime and screw others on thre side without them knowing. I think thats better. No divorce, broken family's, hurt feelings, finacial losses etc. If a woman, on the other hand feels she need a new "mate" she starts blaming it on her current partner, finding non existant flaws in him, finds him more and more irritating this leads to escalating arguments and tense sitiuations. Eventually she provokes her current partner to do something he normally wouldn't and the relationship is OVER. And its the guys fault, of course.
 
StuckInCA
Posts: 1618
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2005 12:55 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Tue Sep 16, 2008 6:23 pm

I would much prefer parents being divorced than growing up in a tense, hostile, loveless household.

I think the "keep the marriage together at all costs" argument is flawed in that regard. Divorce sucks, but unhappy people and fights are way worse.

If it comes to it, I'd just focus on keeping things friendly and making sure that neither parent speaks ill of the other after the split. It can work out well.
 
cytz_pilot
Posts: 389
Joined: Sun Dec 05, 1999 3:34 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Tue Sep 16, 2008 6:55 pm

I'm truly sorry about what you're going through. All I can offer is my personal experience on the subject, as the child of a divorced couple.

My parents divorced when I was 4, and the funniest thing is that my parents were easier to get along with when they separated. They both married young, and as time went on and they aged and matured, they started growing further apart. Eventually they were arguing every day.

After they divorced, even though my mother got custody of us, they both agreed that they would do anything to keep my brother and I as a fundamental part of their lives. My father made a superhuman effort to be there for us, taking us every weekend, taking us out to dinner every Wednesday night, and volunteering to go on field trips with our school whenever his work schedule allowed. So we both had solid relationships with both of our parents without the stress of their increasingly tense marriage.

27 years later, they've both remarried people that are perfect for them, and all of them even have relationships with each other.

I know it's tough to think about it now but you can still have a strong relationship with your children after a divorce, and it can lead to better times for you as an individual. Best of luck to you and I hope you and your wife can come to a decision that is best for you both and for your children.

-Chris
 
iairallie
Posts: 2326
Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 5:42 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Tue Sep 16, 2008 8:27 pm

I agree with the last two posts. My parents are better off divorced. They are happier and are better parents seperate than they were when they were together.
Enough about flying lets talk about me!
 
trvyyz
Posts: 1331
Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2004 9:19 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:52 pm



Quoting YKA (Reply 27):
Women are evil. Period. They have some inborn instinct that urges them to change partnters on a regular basis. Probably something to do with spreading genes. A man has the same drive but can usually be married to one chic(an prefers it that way) for a liftime and screw others on thre side without them knowing. I think thats better. No divorce, broken family's, hurt feelings, finacial losses etc. If a woman, on the other hand feels she need a new "mate" she starts blaming it on her current partner, finding non existant flaws in him, finds him more and more irritating this leads to escalating arguments and tense sitiuations. Eventually she provokes her current partner to do something he normally wouldn't and the relationship is OVER. And its the guys fault, of course.

LOL! That was cool! true to some extent.
 
kmh1956
Posts: 2854
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2005 4:08 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Tue Sep 16, 2008 11:02 pm



Quoting Zach60 (Thread starter):
I never thought before about being divorced and not seeing my kids everyday.That is what is causing an ache inside me most.

Perhaps you should have considered this possibility before you decided to ignore your wife's needs. Sorry....I call 'em as I see 'em.
'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
 
Superfly
Posts: 37735
Joined: Thu May 11, 2000 8:01 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Tue Sep 16, 2008 11:59 pm

Come on, you guys should give Zach60 a break.
How come just about every relationship / marriage problem almost always comes down to 'making her happy'?
So she wants more than a "housemate to rear children".
Already he has accomplished more than what many fathers do.
There are many fathers that are never home, don't have much of a relation with his children, married to his job, has affairs, don't take care of their responsibilities, mis-manage money, alcoholics, wife beaters, etc.
Sounds like Zach60 is none of the above so why give him a hard time?

Who knows, maybe she dragged him to the altar in the first place. For this woman to want to sabotage their whole family just because she isn't getting 'what she wants' I find to be very selfish.

Zach60:
What ever you do, don't turn out like this guy. Big grin

Bring back the Concorde
 
StuckInCA
Posts: 1618
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2005 12:55 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Wed Sep 17, 2008 12:15 am



Quoting Superfly (Reply 33):
Come on, you guys should give Zach60 a break.

Agreed.

Quoting Kmh1956 (Reply 32):
Perhaps you should have considered this possibility before you decided to ignore your wife's needs. Sorry....I call 'em as I see 'em.

We don't really know enough to be so judgemental in my opinion. I can imagine having conversations about "I need... I want..." and not interpreting that as "If I don't get this we're finished!"

Marriage is certainly not easy (and I think mine is pretty easy). Kids make it harder. I'm sympathetic.
 
kmh1956
Posts: 2854
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2005 4:08 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:03 am



Quoting StuckInCA (Reply 34):
Marriage is certainly not easy

Preaching to the choir here...I was married to an abuser....verbal, emotional and physical. It started on the honeymoon and lasted the entire length of the marriage....no sign of it before the vows.

If...and that's a BIG if...I ever marry again, you'd better believe it when I say that I'm going to make my needs known.....and not because I'm evil or a bitch.
'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
 
TUNisia
Posts: 1515
Joined: Thu Aug 19, 2004 3:24 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:13 am



Quoting AGM100 (Reply 3):

This will haunt you for the rest of your life , do everything within your power to keep your family together. We did not , (My Ex and I) and I see the pain and confusion in my kids all the time. Be honest with your wife and open your soul to her , if she rejects it then you have to do whatever needs to be done. But please just be sure that you satisfy yourself that you honestly and deeply tried to keep your family together.

Well said (and I never agree with you). It's so important for the family unit to stay together. The kids need it and maybe in the long run things will work out. Maybe just some time apart will help?
Someday the sun will shine down on me in some faraway place - Mahalia Jackson
 
Superfly
Posts: 37735
Joined: Thu May 11, 2000 8:01 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Wed Sep 17, 2008 3:36 am

Gosh darn it.
The link from that site isn't allowing hot linking.
Here is the photo again.

Re: post #33
Bring back the Concorde
 
BN747
Posts: 5344
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2002 5:48 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:07 am

Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Quoting Zach60 (Thread starter):
I posted a few months ago under -'Wife wants more lovin'

Well it seems to me if it's true that " Wife Wanted More Lovin"...and for whatever reason you couldn't give it... then the Open Marriage crowd wins. When you knew you weren't meeting the 'Wife Wants More Lovin' demand quota...you certainly knew trouble (aka divorce was brewing) if you didn't see it coming... you're headed for trouble in the next relationship too (it can be a whole angle of attack).


Open Marriage at best would have changed matters greatly from 'wow he let's me have my cake and eat too! -- to (the worse)-- "I found a 'stud' (one he can slam and rear my kids too) and I'm outta here! It would have played out one way...or the other or some place in between. All would have beaten the what's going on now..except the last which is the exact same thing.

Now it seems, moving on is the only choice///this can't be patched up..unless the new guy turns out to be Satan's spawn..then she'll be back kicking the door down and begging and pleading. But something tells me..she's had 'somethin' cooking on the grill' long before you made your 1st Wife 'Wants More Lovin' post...

Quoting Superfly (Reply 37):


WHIPPED

LOL...awesome!


BN747
"Home of the Brave, made by the Slaves..Land of the Free, if you look like me.." T. Jefferson
 
3DoorsDown
Posts: 347
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 3:55 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:47 pm



Quoting PlaneWasted (Reply 9):
And don't blame yourself. You and your wife were probably just not the perfect match, that's noones fault.

No. Go ahead and blame yourself. If your wife points out the problem, and you choose to do nothing about it, whether it is an issue with her or with you, it's pretty much your fault. Something I would suggest is don't bring the problem here, because as you stated, you didn't do anything with the previous suggestions. Talk to your wife and a marriage counseler.

Quoting YKA (Reply 27):
Women are evil. Period. They have some inborn instinct that urges them to change partnters on a regular basis. Probably something to do with spreading genes. A man has the same drive but can usually be married to one chic(an prefers it that way) for a liftime and screw others on thre side without them knowing. I think thats better. No divorce, broken family's, hurt feelings, finacial losses etc. If a woman, on the other hand feels she need a new "mate" she starts blaming it on her current partner, finding non existant flaws in him, finds him more and more irritating this leads to escalating arguments and tense sitiuations. Eventually she provokes her current partner to do something he normally wouldn't and the relationship is OVER. And its the guys fault, of course.

Yeah cheating on your wife, screwing a different fish in the sea with the hopes you don't get her pregnant or you pick up some disease and pass it to her, that's way better.

3DD
 
tsaord
Posts: 1267
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2005 2:46 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:23 pm

DO NOT use kids as an excuse to stay in an unhappy marriage. If she feels she needs to go then let her go. What the both of you must do is make sure you continue to be loving and supportive of your children. Nither of you should use them to spite the other. Explain to your children, the both of you, whats happening with them and make sure they know you all will still love them.

If the divorce happens then that is what must happen. Marriages fail but you should still be able to be apart of your children's life.
there are icons, then there are legends, then there is rick flair
 
AGM100
Posts: 5077
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2003 2:16 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Wed Sep 17, 2008 8:45 pm



Quoting TUNisia (Reply 36):
Well said (and I never agree with you).

Ahhh come on ,, I am not that bad surely we can agree on something? . Dont run with the herd , dare to annoy people from time to time.

Quoting Tsaord (Reply 40):
Marriages fail but you should still be able to be apart of your children's life.



It makes your kids have to decide who they like better , even though you do everything you can to keep it cool. Your kids will eventually want to find out who was to blame. If you refuse to tell them and just ignore it .. they will make up there own mind. It is a complex spider web ,. and can be devastating to there self esteem.
You dig the hole .. I fill the hole . 100% employment !
 
StuckInCA
Posts: 1618
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2005 12:55 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Wed Sep 17, 2008 9:14 pm



Quoting AGM100 (Reply 41):
It makes your kids have to decide who they like better , even though you do everything you can to keep it cool. Your kids will eventually want to find out who was to blame. If you refuse to tell them and just ignore it .. they will make up there own mind. It is a complex spider web ,. and can be devastating to there self esteem.

I'm not sure why you think it "makes" your kids have to decide who they like better. I'm sure that happens sometimes, but it doesn't have to be that way.

Nobody need be "to blame." People change. Life changes.

As for "devastating to their self esteem," consider growing up in a house with two parents who aren't in love. I think the tension, whether obvious through fights or less obvious, in addition to a joyless home environment is much more damaging to children. How could you be an effective, happy parent if you're living with someone you used to love but don't any longer.

I don't get it at all. Divorce doesn't have to destroy children's lives if the parents are capable of maturely handling the situation and remaining committed to the children.
 
cytz_pilot
Posts: 389
Joined: Sun Dec 05, 1999 3:34 pm

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Wed Sep 17, 2008 9:55 pm



Quoting StuckInCA (Reply 42):
I'm not sure why you think it "makes" your kids have to decide who they like better. I'm sure that happens sometimes, but it doesn't have to be that way.

Agreed. The non-custodial parent needs to be there as much as possible for their children, even if that means overcoming personal issues with the spouse. If that can happen and both parents retain a solid connection with their children that puts them above all else, then there will never be a need for favoritism. It's the non-custodial parents that all but drop out of their children's lives (aka the father of my stepsisters) that are the ones that end up as the bit players in the child's life.
 
yka
Posts: 723
Joined: Sat Sep 15, 2001 3:00 am

RE: Wife Wants More Lovin' ---- Now Wants Divorce...

Thu Sep 18, 2008 4:55 pm

3DoorsDown, I think you missed the point of my post. Besides, STDs are not as common as sex-ed class might make you think and if you choose your partners carfefully and use protection if i doubt then the risk is minimal. I was only trying to help our friend zach understand why his wife is acting that way...so he dosn't blame himself..

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: aerlingus747, mmo, MrHMSH and 8 guests