Umfolozi
Topic Author
Posts: 332
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:03 am

Staying Sane

Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:13 am

Got this at work yesterday, hope this puts a smile on your face! Have a great weekend everybody. Big grin


How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity:


1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your rubbish bin On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone is Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your cheques, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'

7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'

8. Don t use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Have Your colleagues address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

16. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'

17. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The car park, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'

18. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
The only good suit is a wetsuit
 
HowSwedeitis
Posts: 471
Joined: Wed Jul 18, 2007 8:59 am

RE: Staying Sane

Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:20 am



Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

 check  That's a classic.

-HSII
Heja Sverige!!
 
wilco737
Posts: 7279
Joined: Sun Jun 20, 2004 12:21 am

RE: Staying Sane

Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:21 am



Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

I'll do that on my next flight Big grin

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

The face of the waitress must be funny Big grin

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'

 rotfl 

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
16. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'

A classic one. And I did this once. People where like: WTF?!

Yes, you made me laugh. A good start in the day  bigthumbsup 

WILCO737 (MD11F)
 airplane 
 
TSS
Posts: 2498
Joined: Fri Dec 29, 2006 3:52 pm

RE: Staying Sane

Sat Sep 20, 2008 7:01 am



Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone is Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

If nobody got killed during the initial three weeks, then that fourth week would be fun!  bigthumbsup 

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
17. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The car park, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'

 rotfl   rotfl   rotfl 
Able to kill active threads stone dead with a single post!
 
vikkyvik
Posts: 11907
Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2003 1:58 pm

RE: Staying Sane

Sat Sep 20, 2008 7:16 am



Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

Or perhaps a Diet "dihydrogen minoxide".........

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your cheques, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'

 rotfl 

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
12. Sing Along At The Opera.

For some reason, this one cracks me up as well. Would just be so out of place.
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".
 
LASoctoberB6
Posts: 1936
Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2006 4:23 pm

RE: Staying Sane

Sat Sep 20, 2008 7:27 am

That's new to me. They sure made me smile. Thanks..  Smile
[NOT IN SERVICE] {WEStJet}
 
DFW13L
Posts: 809
Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2005 3:22 pm

RE: Staying Sane

Sat Sep 20, 2008 4:08 pm



Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone is Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

I know someone who has put decaf in the coffee maker! A secretary had to go home early with a headache!!

Great list.
See, I knew American Eagle was first class all along!
 
User avatar
HAWK21M
Posts: 29917
Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2001 10:05 pm

RE: Staying Sane

Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:41 pm

Nice ones.
Thanks....
regds
MEL
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
skygirl
Posts: 256
Joined: Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:22 am

RE: Staying Sane

Sun Sep 21, 2008 3:07 am



Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice

I did this once on accident at petsmart. My managers never let me live it down.

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

I do this during the beverage service. Most people miss it.

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your cheques, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'

I had a friend cut me a check once, and they were kind enough to write 'drugs' in the memo field. It was a lot of fun taking that to the bank...
...Now they face an even greater danger...Tyrannousaurs in F-14's!!
 
LASoctoberB6
Posts: 1936
Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2006 4:23 pm

RE: Staying Sane

Sun Sep 21, 2008 4:51 am



Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
17. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The car park, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!

My mom and I just had a laugh fit over that one. It's only the second time I've read it..
[NOT IN SERVICE] {WEStJet}
 
FlyDeltaJets87
Posts: 4479
Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 3:51 am

RE: Staying Sane

Sun Sep 21, 2008 4:53 am



Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
16. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'

Sounds like Chris in Family Guy "They have this game there where you in a dollar and you win four quarters! I win every time!"  wink 

I would harass people who were fans of certain sports teams to keep from going insane at the restaurant I worked at - I would tell anyone coming through the door (or when they came up to the register if I was cashiering) who was wearing a Pittsburgh Steeler or Dallas Cowboys shirt or jersey (biggest rivals of the Cincinnati Bengals and New York Giants, respectively) that they would be assessed a penalty on their check for wearing such God-awful stuff. I also told people wearing Boston Red Sox stuff the same thing, while I told people wearing Yankees, New York Giants, or Cincinnati Bengals stuff that they would receive 50% off. I always got a laugh out of it and the best was when customers of people who I would "charge extra" would say "the penalty's still worth it" - usually from Boston Red Sox fans.

I still find myself having to do such things to keep from going insane even
Last semester my job for ROTC job really sucked. I was "safety staff" which mant lots of standing around and watching for an hour or two at a time. It was boring and I hated it so we created ways to have fun when times . One day before physical training started we were having a "Family Guy" moment while doing radio checks - we were mimicking the "You must say over at the end of every sentence, over"...."Wait, I have to say over even if the sentence ends in over"....."What, I didn't hear what you said, over".....

Witty responses for when you answer the phone can be fun too. "Hello" or "What's up?" gets old quick.

Quoting Umfolozi (Thread starter):
17. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The car park, Yelling
'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'

Humming the Jaws theme at the ocean is pretty fun.
Sitting next to nervous fliers and pointing out at the wing flexing up and down in turbulence and saying things like "you know I could be wrong but I don't think the wing's supposed to be bouncing up and down like that" is fun too.  biggrin 
"Let's Roll"- Todd Beamer, United Airlines Flight 93, Sept. 11, 2001
 
Euclid
Posts: 324
Joined: Fri Apr 22, 2005 3:42 am

RE: Staying Sane

Sun Sep 21, 2008 11:21 am

Try going into a furniture store and ask them for a decaffeinated coffee table. Did this a few times and reactions ranged from blank stares to people finding it hysterically funny.
 
Umfolozi
Topic Author
Posts: 332
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 12:03 am

RE: Staying Sane

Sun Sep 21, 2008 3:05 pm



Quoting Euclid (Reply 11):
Try going into a furniture store and ask them for a decaffeinated coffee table.

Good one!  rotfl 
The only good suit is a wetsuit

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