singaporegirl
Posts: 288
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Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:18 pm

i really don't know what to do with my sister. she's in so much trouble and there's nothing that i could do from here. my little sister is studying in new york, she's a very good student, but even back home in singapore, her taste in men can be rather questionable. she's been dating this one guy for several months and they lived together. it's her apartment, the lease is under her name and everything. the relationship ended, she asked him to move out. 2 days later, my sister went out with her girlfriends, had a few drinks, came home and found the ex boyfriend in the apartment. she asked him to leave, he said no and said that he'd destroy the apartment if she wouldn't take him back. she called the police and when they came they said that he had the rights to be there. apparently in nyc if you've been living in a place for more than 30 days, that place automatically became your residence, even though your name is not on the lease and you're not paying rent. my sister told the cops that he had threaten her and the property and the police asked if there's any witness to that threat and when she said no, the cops said there's nothing they could do. they said that they'd arrest HER if she changes the locks to the apartment because that's an illegal eviction. i really don't know anything about american real estate law but so far what i've been hearing things are totally out of whack. i know it's odd to ask a.net about this but i wonder if anyone could give me an advice to help her. he is still living in her apartment and she's really afraid. she's now staying with her friends. she belongs in her apartment and i really wish i could help her from here. your advice would be appreciated!
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ronglimeng
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:23 pm

I don't know that much about American law but I watch COPS a lot, and on that program the police in various jurisdictions seem to deal with similar issues quite often.

They don't seem to have too much trouble arranging for the person not named in the lease to leave.

The story you are getting from your sister sounds kind of strange to me.
 
Superfly
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:27 pm



Quoting Singaporegirl (Thread starter):
the relationship ended, she asked him to move out. 2 days later, my sister went out with her girlfriends, had a few drinks, came home and found the ex boyfriend in the apartment. she asked him to leave, he said no and said that he'd destroy the apartment if she wouldn't take him back. she called the police and when they came they said that he had the rights to be there. apparently in nyc if you've been living in a place for more than 30 days, that place automatically became your residence, even though your name is not on the lease and you're not paying rent. my sister told the cops that he had threaten her and the property and the police asked if there's any witness to that threat and when she said no, the cops said there's nothing they could do. they said that they'd arrest HER if she changes the locks to the apartment because that's an illegal eviction.

Sounds like she isn't telling you the full story.
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SpeedBirdA380
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:28 pm



Quoting Singaporegirl (Thread starter):
he said no and said that he'd destroy the apartment if she wouldn't take him back. she called the police and when they came they said that he had the rights to be there. apparently in nyc if you've been living in a place for more than 30 days, that place automatically became your residence,

Now I live in the UK and have never lived in America but that sounds like total bu***T to me.

If your sisters name is on the lease and she does not want him there then surely the police MUST remove him from her apartment.
 
singaporegirl
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:36 pm

hi all. thanks so much for the input so far. the term that was used was squatter's right? what is that exactly? something to do with a residence became yours after 30 days living there or something like that.
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Superfly
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:37 pm



Quoting SpeedBirdA380 (Reply 3):
If your sisters name is on the lease and she does not want him there then surely the police MUST remove him from her apartment.

 checkmark 

I doubt New York housing laws are much different than San Francisco's either.
Here in San Francisco, she'd be allowed to kick him out. If his name is on the lease too, then the landlord would have to evict her too. The landlord can't do that unless he has a reason. If the ex-boyfriend is not on the lease but the landlord accepted payment from this guy, he wouldn't be able to ask him to leave either.
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B747forever
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:37 pm

Wow, first time ever I hear about something strange like this.

Sorry to say this, but do you for sure know that you sister tells the whole story/truth.
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ArmitageShanks
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Sat Oct 18, 2008 12:50 am

What about her getting a restraining order against him so he can't be near her... wouldn't that technically limit is presence in the house?
 
NIKV69
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Sat Oct 18, 2008 1:19 am

I would check NYC laws on that. It sounds fagazy. Also teach your sister that you don't let guys move in with her that she hasn't known for a bit longer than a few months. Good luck and keep us posted.
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SpeedBirdA380
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Sat Oct 18, 2008 1:31 am

Something is not right here.

Like I said before I have never lived in America but I think US law is simular to UK law on this matter.

Quoting Singaporegirl (Reply 4):
hi all. thanks so much for the input so far. the term that was used was squatter's right? what is that exactly? something to do with a residence became yours after 30 days living there or something like that.

Theoretically with that rule I could check into a hotel for a couple of months and then claim the room as my residence and live there for the rest of my life!

Sorry but It just does not make sense. Are you sure your sister did not become lovestruck by this guy and put his name on the lease or something?  Confused
 
vikkyvik
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Sat Oct 18, 2008 1:55 am



Quoting Superfly (Reply 2):

Sounds like she isn't telling you the full story.

 checkmark 

Didn't get more than halfway through the story before bullshit alarms were going off in my head.

I truly doubt that you can live somewhere for 30 days and suddenly be an official resident. How would sublets ever work, if that were the case?

If she is afraid for her health, first thing she should do is get a restraining order.

Quoting SpeedBirdA380 (Reply 9):

Sorry but It just does not make sense. Are you sure your sister did not become lovestruck by this guy and put his name on the lease or something?

That's what I was wondering as well.
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Cadet57
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Sat Oct 18, 2008 2:01 am



Quoting Vikkyvik (Reply 10):
If she is afraid for her health, first thing she should do is get a restraining order.

Exactly. Hell, happened to a fomer co worker, he was living with his girlfriend. they had a fight, he went out and got cocked, came back threatened her, cops showed up, he got taken away, two days later (i may be talking out of my ass on the timeframe) he wasnt allowed in the house.
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xpat
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Sat Oct 18, 2008 12:13 pm



Quoting SpeedBirdA380 (Reply 9):
Theoretically with that rule I could check into a hotel for a couple of months and then claim the room as my residence and live there for the rest of my life!

Sure, as long as you are able to pay for your stay, the hotel cannot kick (evict) you out.
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B6JFKH81
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Sat Oct 18, 2008 1:46 pm

She could probably find some info on the actual rules/regulations from the NYC housing authority and maybe get some advice:

www.nyc.gov/nycha

Also, if your sister is a student, possibly her educational institution has a student counseling center that could put her in contact with folks that can help her? Most institutions of higher education will have services for students to help them through difficult times and contacts for her to speak with outside to help as well.
"If you do not learn from history, you are doomed to repeat it"
 
MadameConcorde
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Sat Oct 18, 2008 1:58 pm

Dear SingaporeGirl,

has your sister thought about calling on the Singapore authorities in New York City? Maybe they could be of some good help, the consulate for example.

I think they are there to help their citizens in case they have difficulties of sorts.

This is just an idea.

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singaporegirl
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Sat Oct 18, 2008 5:38 pm

hi all! thank you, thank you so much for the care and input that you've given me. my (american) husband contacted his family's attorney and through him my sister is now in contact with a ny based real estate attorney. guess what? that bizzare 30 day rule really exist in new york state. if a person lives in a property for more than 30 days, and contributed in any financial matters, that property becomes his / her residence even though his / her name is not on the lease / deed. that person becomes the sub tenant. ( i know, i know, we're still scratching our heads on that one ). i talked to my sister and she said that yes he has given her some money to take care some of the bills, food etc. even though the apartment is under her name but because she accepted money from the ex and he lived there for more that 30 days, he automatically became the sub tenant. also from the police report , the cops chose the ex bf's side because my sister was intoxicated when she dialed 911 as well as when the police arrived. they said that she was a little histerical. i never knew that my little sister is such a bad drunk. anyway, but i still don't understand this 30 day thing. she is applying for order of protection but that would only be good for several months, she and the ex boyfriend will always have to appear in court in order for the judge to extend the restraining order. anyway this whole thing has been the most aggravating thing that our family has gone through lately. again thank you for the care and input that you've shown me.
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Ps76
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Sat Oct 18, 2008 6:05 pm

Hi,

I would recommend the restraining order too. Here they're really not that difficult to get either I think. From personal experience I can tell you my ex-girlfriend got one against me once and really it works a charm (I sure didn't want to get arrested over that ***!).

Hope it works out relatively easily,

P.
 
bristolflyer
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Sat Oct 18, 2008 6:14 pm



Quoting Singaporegirl (Reply 15):
that bizzare 30 day rule really exist in new york state

I don't doubt it. I think there's a law in one city in the US (maybe a Californian city, not sure) that the timescale is about 2 days.

Quoting SpeedBirdA380 (Reply 9):
Theoretically with that rule I could check into a hotel for a couple of months and then claim the room as my residence and live there for the rest of my life!

The way they would get around this is to not let you stay for that long.
Fortune favours the brave
 
lincoln
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Sat Oct 18, 2008 7:18 pm



Quoting Singaporegirl (Reply 15):
guess what? that bizzare 30 day rule really exist in new york state.

I'm not a lawyer, and real estate law isn't my strong suit, but in many places in the US once you've resided somewhere for 30 days it is your residence and the only way to get you out is give you a 30-day notice to quit and then file for eviction in the applicable court of law.

The idea is that after 30 days you are no longer a "guest" but you are a "tenant" (especially if you pay any of the costs of mantaining the dwelling) and although you do not have a written lease you have the same rights as a month-to-month tenant and therefore are due 30 days notice.

Look at it from the other person's side of things -- you're living with someone for 6 months or whatever, with the expectation that you're going to continue living somewhere then all of a sudden your roommate/girfriend/boyfriend/parents/etc. tell you to "get out" where are you suposed to go? How can you be expected to make arrangements for a new residence and move in the span of minutes or hours?

Lincoln
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luv2fly
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RE: Help! Need Advice For My Little Sister In NYC

Sun Oct 19, 2008 12:55 am



Quoting MadameConcorde (Reply 14):
Dear SingaporeGirl,

has your sister thought about calling on the Singapore authorities in New York City? Maybe they could be of some good help, the consulate for example.

I think they are there to help their citizens in case they have difficulties of sorts.

This is just an idea

I think an Embassy is more inclined to help with a legitimate problem and not a domestic/landlord housing court situation.
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