7324ever
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I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:56 am

No its not that type of thread...

I have a man in his early 30s as a client and for 6 months I have been showing him houses and he just found one and now he put in an offer and got the house. Know im 28 and single and in his his words "A very good looking gentlemen". I think he has been getting the wrong impression and we are half way through closing and sence a lot of the papers are dying down he has been wanting to kind of setting up dates and I am not gay but I really don't know how to tell him that I am not and if I word it wrong he can sue me for discrimination. So I don't want to hurt his feelings and at the same time have him trying to sue me. Does any one have any ideas on how I can say I am not interested?
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dtwclipper
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:00 am

Well, first we need a picture of you!

Quoting 7324ever (Thread starter):
Does any one have any ideas on how I can say I am not interested?

Tell him you don't socialize with clients.
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7324ever
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:05 am



Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 1):
Well, first we need a picture of you!

Quoting 7324ever (Thread starter):
Does any one have any ideas on how I can say I am not interested?

Tell him you don't socialize with clients.

All get right on that!


But I can't say that because his reasons for meeting are usually house related but then he tries to plan out golf dates or movies and it is very awkward and I always say I am busy and I feel bad but I really am not like that...
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dtwclipper
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:08 am



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 2):
But I can't say that because his reasons for meeting are usually house related but then he tries to plan out golf dates or movies and it is very awkward and I always say I am busy and I feel bad but I really am not like that...

Ok, if you like the guy as a buddy, have a man date, go golfing, whatever. If he hits on you just tell him that you're not gay. Just do it as not to embarrass him. You can never have to many friends.
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Fly2HMO
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:11 am



Quoting 7324ever (Thread starter):
and I am not gay

Dude seriously, just tell him "I'm not gay", or I guess a more politically correct way (as much as I hate that stuff  banghead  ) Just tell him you date women.

Quoting 7324ever (Thread starter):
trying to sue me

I don't see how he could. It's not like you're denying him getting the house because he's gay, you're denying him a date.
 
7324ever
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:26 am



Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 3):

Ok, if you like the guy as a buddy, have a man date, go golfing, whatever. If he hits on you just tell him that you're not gay. Just do it as not to embarrass him. You can never have to many friends.

Thanks, Would you find it offensive at all if a guy you liked turned you down?

Quoting FLY2HMO (Reply 4):
Dude seriously, just tell him "I'm not gay", or I guess a more politically correct way (as much as I hate that stuff banghead ) Just tell him you date women.

I believe the PC way is *Person with a different but perfectly acceptable life style*

But the issue is if I say it the wrong way or he feels sad then he can sue and say I did it in derogatory manner...
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Curtisman
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:26 am

Just be honest. Nothing is better than the truth.

Are you sure he is asking you on a date? Perhaps he is just enjoying your company and wants to hang out with you. If you like his company then go with him - you might make a good friend.


I see you are in Serbia and I have no idea what kind of laws you have there. But if you can be sued for telling someone you are not gay then that is quite an interesting law. I would guess that Serbian law does not forbid you from telling the truth.


Honesty is best.

Cheers!

[Edited 2009-07-14 18:28:23]
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2H4
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:35 am

Casually mention your upcoming weekend plans with your girlfriend.

2H4
Intentionally Left Blank
 
aznmadsci
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:37 am



Quoting 7324ever (Thread starter):
Does any one have any ideas on how I can say I am not interested?

If he's told you he has a plan for a dungeon, then RUN FOR THE HILLS, BOY!  eek 

Drop subtle hints that you dig chicks, and not the type of chicks with sticks! If he asks you what are you doing for the weekend, just make up something like hanging out with the guys and meeting up with the gals. He should get the hint from that. Just don't say "Dude, sorry I'm not gay" when he asks that question. The only time to be blnt is if he has his hands in your pants. Otherwise, be flattered and keep it professional.
The journey of life is not based on the accomplishments, but the experience.
 
7324ever
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 1:56 am



Quoting CurtisMan (Reply 6):
Just be honest. Nothing is better than the truth.

Are you sure he is asking you on a date? Perhaps he is just enjoying your company and wants to hang out with you. If you like his company then go with him - you might make a good friend.


I see you are in Serbia and I have no idea what kind of laws you have there. But if you can be sued for telling someone you are not gay then that is quite an interesting law. I would guess that Serbian law does not forbid you from telling the truth.


Honesty is best.

No I live in the States were you can easily be sued for that.

I know he is asking me and flirting he stopped calling me Zack and gave me a pet name "TB" I don't know what it stands for but I have some ideas. And he says "If your not doing anything Saturday night I know a great little Italian place that has the BEST spaghetti" (but that in the most non rude gay way)

Quoting 2H4 (Reply 7):
Casually mention your upcoming weekend plans with your girlfriend.

2H4

Wish I could have tried that before I knew he was gay but I said I was single pretty much on are first meeting. Plus when he has put an offer on a 700k plus house and put more than half down and is pre approved for the rest of the loan  cloudnine 

Quoting AznMadSci (Reply 8):
If he's told you he has a plan for a dungeon, then RUN FOR THE HILLS, BOY! eek

Drop subtle hints that you dig chicks, and not the type of chicks with sticks! If he asks you what are you doing for the weekend, just make up something like hanging out with the guys and meeting up with the gals. He should get the hint from that. Just don't say "Dude, sorry I'm not gay" when he asks that question. The only time to be blnt is if he has his hands in your pants. Otherwise, be flattered and keep it professional.

No but the house he wanted, the master suite has a shower with room for 3+ and the floor is reinforced oak same with the walls for those nights you just cant help it  Wink  duck 

But really I try the chick thing and he giggles and scoots closer... One time he "Dropped" a pen and bent between my legs to pick it up...

I like the idea of not saying it flat out
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Phoenix9
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:05 am



Quoting AznMadSci (Reply 8):
If he's told you he has a plan for a dungeon

"It puts the lotion on its skin......"  duck   boxedin 
Life only makes sense when you look at it backwards.
 
2H4
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:06 am



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 9):
Wish I could have tried that before I knew he was gay but I said I was single pretty much on are first meeting.

No problem, just talk about the girl your buddy is setting you up with this weekend, and how much you're looking forward to going out with her.

2H4
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7324ever
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:14 am



Quoting Phoenix9 (Reply 10):

"It puts the lotion on its skin......" duck boxedin

Phoenix you know how to make my day!

Quoting 2H4 (Reply 11):
No problem, just talk about the girl your buddy is setting you up with this weekend, and how much you're looking forward to going out with her.

2H4

Thanks 2H4! But how do I make up a girl outa know were?
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UAL747
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:24 am

Ummm, okay:

1st and formost, YOU can be fired for fraternizing with clients.

2nd, if you don't like him in either way, then just say that you'd rather keep a professional relationship since he is your client.

He will react in one of two ways:

1. He will respect that, and move on.

2. You'll lose a sale, and he will be upset, but he cannot sue you for wanting to keep the relationship professional. If YOU feel like you are being harassed, it's more YOU who can sue.

Just because he's gay doesn't mean he wants to screw you. But you know, I'd really have to observe your behavior with him to see if you are giving off any kind of "I'm interested vibe" whether intentional or not.

Those are you options, and you cannot be sued. End of story. But I will tell you this, you start going golfing with him, and hanging out with him, the relationship will be even more awkward if he really is hitting on you. But again, I've never heard of anyone being sued for turning someone down for unwanted sexual advances, but in order to know if that is what he is doing, you'd have to hang out with him in a non-professional environment, which then opens up the pandora's box.

Your call, I just say keep it simple, keep it professional. If you want to hang out with him, then tell him you need to end the professional relationship as it conflicts with your work ethics.

That's how you deal with it. You bring personal relationships into any business, and it's bound to get, "hairy."

The absolute worst thing you can do is just let it ride, giving him mixed signals. He'll only get frustrated, and you will too.

Don't follow other's advice and say, "Umm, I'm not gay." I'd find that offensive. The professional thing to do would be to follow what I said above. Because, what IF he's not hitting on you, and he just wants to hang? I don't hit on everything that walks. I might look, but I don't hit on them, and I keep it professional when doing business.

UAL

[Edited 2009-07-14 19:30:32]
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2H4
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:34 am



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 12):
Thanks 2H4! But how do I make up a girl outa know were?

She's a cute brunette with Lisa-Loeb style glasses. She's a freelance graphic artist, so she doesn't get out much. Your friend Kevin went to school with her and thinks you two would be a great match. You talked with her on the phone the other night for an hour and she seems really cool, so you're really looking forward to dinner with her on Saturday night.

Like that.

2H4
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UAL747
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:37 am



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 9):
"TB"

Tuberculosis?

Total Bottom?

LOLOLOL.
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Curtisman
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:42 am

Well I will disagree with a lot of what is said here - don't make up a fake girl ... lies do not show professionalism and it lowers your own personal ethics.

The truth is all that matters.

Now that doesn't mean mentioning gay or anything like that. Just be professional and decline any of his invites - you don't need a reason.

Be honest - you'll benefit in the long run.

Cheers!
Citizen of the World
 
SXDFC
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:49 am



Quoting 2H4 (Reply 14):

2H4 just described my type of girl!

A brunette!!!  bigthumbsup  (not the Lisa Loeb though!)

In most cases honesty works the best, but in this case, your better off sticking to 2H4's advice!!

2H4 make me up a GF! =P
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aznmadsci
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:52 am



Quoting 2H4 (Reply 14):
She's a cute brunette with Lisa-Loeb style glasses. She's a freelance graphic artist, so she doesn't get out much.

She sounds like a lipstick bohemian chic lesbian!
The journey of life is not based on the accomplishments, but the experience.
 
7324ever
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:56 am



Quoting 2H4 (Reply 14):
She's a cute brunette with Lisa-Loeb style glasses. She's a freelance graphic artist, so she doesn't get out much. Your friend Kevin went to school with her and thinks you two would be a great match. You talked with her on the phone the other night for an hour and she seems really cool, so you're really looking forward to dinner with her on Saturday night.

Like that.

Perfect and I think I will use it. Its specific but not to rehearsed and not to specific as to ask questions. I really appreciate the help!



Quoting Ual747 (Reply 15):
Tuberculosis?

Total Bottom?

LOLOLOL.

I was thinking Tight Bottom from what he was hinting at...

Quoting CurtisMan (Reply 16):
Well I will disagree with a lot of what is said here - don't make up a fake girl ... lies do not show professionalism and it lowers your own personal ethics.

The truth is all that matters.

Now that doesn't mean mentioning gay or anything like that. Just be professional and decline any of his invites - you don't need a reason.

Be honest - you'll benefit in the long run.

Thats the other side IM worried about and its hard to get around... but who knows i really need help on it.

Quoting Ual747 (Reply 13):
Ummm, okay:

It is a professional thing and a real legal issue I have seen people sued over less which scares me...
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TSS
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:57 am



Quoting Ual747 (Reply 13):

I couldn't have put it better myself.
 bigthumbsup 

I will add this, though: Sometimes straight guys are so obviously and comically uncomfortable being around a gay guy, it's very hard not to yank their chain a little bit just for laughs. This is a mean and unnecessary thing to do, but sometimes it is very tempting.
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UAL747
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:41 am



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 19):
It is a professional thing and a real legal issue I have seen people sued over less which scares me...

You CANNOT be sued for turning someone down on a date.....I don't get where you are getting this from, but unless you've done something you haven't told us about, I fail to see any reason where you can be sued for not going on a date with someone. If that were the case, you'd have a whole lot of pathetic straight fellas suing the crap out of hot women, regardless of whether they were in a business relationship with them or not.

It is not a legal issue unless you have something else you want to share other than what you've told us.

UAL
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UAL747
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:43 am



Quoting TSS (Reply 20):
I will add this, though: Sometimes straight guys are so obviously and comically uncomfortable being around a gay guy, it's very hard not to yank their chain a little bit just for laughs. This is a mean and unnecessary thing to do, but sometimes it is very tempting.

Oh yes, it can be fun. Especially when they are about to break out in hives because they are near a gay guy. It's rather funny just to make them itch just a touch more.

Kind of sad, but why not make the sadness a little funny for yourself eh?

 Smile
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DocLightning
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:01 am



Quoting 7324ever (Thread starter):


I have a man in his early 30s as a client and for 6 months I have been showing him houses and he just found one and now he put in an offer and got the house. Know im 28 and single and in his his words "A very good looking gentlemen". I think he has been getting the wrong impression and we are half way through closing and sence a lot of the papers are dying down he has been wanting to kind of setting up dates and I am not gay but I really don't know how to tell him that I am not and if I word it wrong he can sue me for discrimination. So I don't want to hurt his feelings and at the same time have him trying to sue me. Does any one have any ideas on how I can say I am not interested?

Mention your girlfriend. And from now on, wear a wedding ring to work.

And you cannot get sued for discrimination because you turned him down for a date. Be pleasant, be polite, be distant and not too friendly, and bring up your girlfriend.
-Doc Lightning-

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AirframeAS
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:10 am



Quoting Dtwclipper (Reply 1):
Tell him you don't socialize with clients.

I second that. It would be a conflict of interest. That totally gets you off the hook completely.
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ADXMatt
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:36 am

There must be more to this story then what has been disclosed.

I don't see how you can be sued for turning down a date.


To the other points...
It has not been determined if the OP likes this guy on a platonic friendship way or not. Just because he is gay and the OP is not doesn't mean they can't be hang out buddys. Having a bromance.  Smile

I say if you like spaghetti then go try out the new restaurant, if you enjoy golfing then go golfing. If this guy is buying a 700K house he may have other friends you can meet who will be buying similarly price real estate. Use this opportunity to network.

If you are unsure if this is a date or not, then just ask.
If it is just mention that you prefer to just keep this as friends. Even joke by saying that he's not your "type". If he asks what is your type then tell him, a girl with big boobs or whatever.

No need to lie or make up excuses.
 
7324ever
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 6:40 am



Quoting Ual747 (Reply 21):

You CANNOT be sued for turning someone down on a date.....I don't get where you are getting this from, but unless you've done something you haven't told us about, I fail to see any reason where you can be sued for not going on a date with someone. If that were the case, you'd have a whole lot of pathetic straight fellas suing the crap out of hot women, regardless of whether they were in a business relationship with them or not.

It is not a legal issue unless you have something else you want to share other than what you've told us.

UAL

Oh yea me and him played sweaty naked mud tackle football and oiled up are 6 pacs and over bulging muscles and took a trip to our dungeon and did every thing imaginable to sum it up  champagne   butthead  and if your interested we have it on high def DVD if anyone wants a copy  duck   duck   duck 

Quoting Ual747 (Reply 22):
Oh yes, it can be fun. Especially when they are about to break out in hives because they are near a gay guy. It's rather funny just to make them itch just a touch more.

Kind of sad, but why not make the sadness a little funny for yourself eh?

Smile

I have no problem around gays and I have seen that trick on people and it is fairly funny even for a straight guy to use it when you get Dbags at a bar who wanna start something tell them they look good and they go right away Big grin

Quoting AirframeAS (Reply 24):

I second that. It would be a conflict of interest. That totally gets you off the hook completely.

I think im just going to do that wear a ring and just say that I keep all things on a work related basis. Im flattered but I am not in that boat, if you would like to hang out AS FRIENDS after the closing than I am ok with that but do not want anything sexual and dont consider you attractive in any way shape or form.
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Kiwirob
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:20 am

This is becoming pretty complicated when all you need to do is tell him you're not gay. How difficult can that be, all this crap about being fired or sued, you Americans are nuts  banghead 
 
lhr380
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:35 am



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 5):
Thanks, Would you find it offensive at all if a guy you liked turned you down?

Thats life, people turn you down.

Just say im flattered but im not gay. Got a few of friends that are happy to be found cute/hot by guys, BUT only date women.
(The views on this site are my own and no one elses)
 
iairallie
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 9:48 am



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 2):
But I can't say that because his reasons for meeting are usually house related but then he tries to plan out golf dates or movies and it is very awkward and I always say I am busy and I feel bad but I really am not like that...

It is stupid to say you are busy it just makes them think well maybe another time.

Question 1. Do you like the guy as a friend? is he someone you want to hang out with after you close on the house?

Because if you do want to be pals with the guy then make it clear I'd love to hang out but not romantically I am only attracted to women. It's as easy as that "Hey, I'd love to hang out with you but not romantically because I am only attracted to women." . Rejection is always kinda sucky but normal people get it and move on. Would you sue a gay woman who was your realtor if she turned you down for a date? Would any reasonable person? For any sexual harasment claim to be sucessful the test is would a reasonable person feel this was harassment? In the senario you describe the answer is NO.

Question 2. What is your work policy on dating clients?

It's not a bad idea to have a personal policy against dating or socializing with clients. It tends to make things messy. If you don't you can always tell the guy look I'm uncomfortable with socializing with clients. Or I don't feel it is appropriate to socialize with clients.

Quoting 7324ever (Reply 9):
No I live in the States were you can easily be sued for that.

No, you cannot. I am taking an employment law class right now. I've read the text book cover to cover nothing about being sued for telling someone you are straight or that you are not interested in a romantic relationship with them.

Quoting 7324ever (Reply 19):
It is a professional thing and a real legal issue I have seen people sued over less which scares me...

No it is not. You are creating a situation where there is none.

Quoting KiwiRob (Reply 27):
This is becoming pretty complicated when all you need to do is tell him you're not gay. How difficult can that be, all this crap about being fired or sued, you Americans are nuts

Exactly. And KiwiRob he cannot be sued for this even in the nutty USA.
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TransIsland
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 11:11 am



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 26):
I think im just going to do that wear a ring

?? You just told us that you told him that you we're single. Surely, you and the

Quoting 2H4 (Reply 14):
cute brunette with Lisa-Loeb style glasses.

didn't get married this fast...
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kingsford
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:06 pm

I think 7324ever is not saying all the truth.

Why post such a trivial question on the net that comes with a 'straight' answer (I'm not socializing with customers) for which you do not really need help with in the first place. 'I'm not gay' would put you in a position of 'assuming' he is really hitting on you.

I think you are just impressed being hit on and I am sure, flattered, if at all, kindda interested in what would happen if you had him a bit longer in your orbit, trying him for size and all. Me thinks you like him, and you are intrigued.

No worries, this is perfectly fine and enjoy whatever comes out of it but make sure you close the house deal first.

Or is it a 2-dollar psychology?
 
jamincan
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:52 pm

This story doesn't add up to me and I suspect that Kingsford is probably right. You probably haven't directly interacted with many gay people and are fascinated/worried about it as a result. Your concern about being sued for turning down a gay guy's advances reeks of someone who is completely clueless about gay issues and gay people in general. Unless your method of turning down his advances includes a baseball bat over the head, you don't have anything to worry about.

Consider how you would react to a woman's advances in this situation. You would probably just politely turn down her advances, maybe explain that you try to keep your professional and personal lives separate. Sexuality shouldn't really factor into things; if the client were a straight woman, would it make any difference?

If you like the guy in a friendly way and want to hang out with him, you should let him know your straight in some manner - it's not polite to string people along.
 
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DocLightning
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:50 pm



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 26):

Oh yea me and him played sweaty naked mud tackle football and oiled up are 6 pacs and over bulging muscles and took a trip to our dungeon and did every thing imaginable to sum it up champagne butthead and if your interested we have it on high def DVD if anyone wants a copy duck duck duck

Big version: Width: 384 Height: 50 File size: 20kb
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aznmadsci
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:49 pm



Quoting DocLightning (Reply 23):
wear a wedding ring to work.

Many gay guys with or without partners also wear wedding bands.
The journey of life is not based on the accomplishments, but the experience.
 
panam330
Posts: 1967
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:51 pm



Quoting DocLightning (Reply 33):

LMAO. I knew someone would say something like that.  Silly
 
diamond
Posts: 3000
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:57 pm



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 9):
No I live in the States were you can easily be sued for that.

No, you can't. There are no laws in the U.S. (even those regarding Real Estate) that require you to be receptive to unwanted advances by anyone of any gender.

You cannot be sued for telling him you aren't interested.

You cannot be sued for telling him your sexuality doesn't match his.

You cannot be sued for telling him that some things he says make you uncomfortable.

You could only be in possible trouble if you attempt to prevent him from purchasing a house based on his sexuality - and that's only if local laws in your area specifically provide 'protected class' status to persons based on their sexuality. Federally, there's no such protection.


The Fair Housing Act does not protect gay people from discrimination. It only addresses discrimination based on gender, but not sexual orientation.

http://www.usdoj.gov/crt/housing/title8.php

From the U.S. Department of Justice website:

Does the Fair Housing Act prohibit discrimination on the basis of a person's sexual orientation?

When sexual orientation is the only basis of discrimination, no. However, we evaluate these complaints on a case-by-case basis to determine whether any other form of discrimination is present (such as sex or disability, for example). In addition, many state and local laws prohibit discrimination in housing based on sexual orientation. You should consult with your local or state civil rights enforcement agency to determine whether discrimination on this basis is protected.




It seems like you're coming up with some pretty wild reasons to not tell this guy that you're just there to sell a house. Several people above have encouraged you to be clear with him. I agree it's the best way to keep things on a professional level.
Blank.
 
7324ever
Topic Author
Posts: 383
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:27 pm

I think Ive heard a lot and I have a meeting tonight to go over some papers. I will just say I am not interested Or curious. I am flattered by your advances but not perusing them. If you would like to remain friends that works. I am sorry.


Thank you all for your help!

Quoting Diamond (Reply 36):
The Fair Housing Act

The thing that scares me  scared 

Quoting DocLightning (Reply 33):

I am flattered you want pics, There is no video. I am sorry for leading you on.  duck 
Anything the US and EU build the Russians do it better! i.e. TU-144 vs Concorde and TU-154 vs The 727...
 
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OA260
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 10:47 pm



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 37):
I will just say I am not interested Or curious. I am flattered by your advances but not perusing them. If you would like to remain friends that works. I am sorry.

Honesty is the best policy IMHO.  checkmark  A polite refusal should be accepted by him and end of story. That goes for all MF / FF / MM situations. If a guy asks me out and Im not interested then I politely say so and I dont expect to get hounded or made feel uncomfortable.

Good luck...
 
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BNE
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Wed Jul 15, 2009 11:11 pm



Quoting 7324ever (Thread starter):
I Need Help With A Gay Guy... ...

Well you seem to have come to the right place, 36 replies in less than 24 hours, what does that say about this website.  Wow!
Why fly non stop when you can connect
 
UAL747
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Thu Jul 16, 2009 12:49 am

Honestly, I'd just say, that it's a conflict of interest. While it's not discrimination, what IF he weren't hitting on you but he IS gay?

If you said:

"I will just say I am not interested Or curious. I am flattered by your advances but not perusing them. If you would like to remain friends that works. I am sorry."

I'd get sort of agitated at someone who said that to me when I wasn't hitting on them because I'd think, this guy is being homophobic.

Now, if he is blatantly hitting on you and saying yur purty and I want to date you, then yes, I'd say what you said above.

The conflict of interest keeps it professional sounding, and doesn't rub off as a turn down, which can keep him from getting mad.

-----OR-----

You could just wait until the end of the sale and have everything finalized then drop the straight bombdizzle on him.

UAL
"Bangkok Tower, United 890 Heavy. Bangkok Tower, United 890 Heavy.....Okay, fine, we'll just turn 190 and Visual Our Way
 
kmh1956
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Thu Jul 16, 2009 1:44 am

Go to the Italian place. Enjoy the spaghetti. Ogle the waitress...but not in a stalker kind of way...just do it in a way that a gentleman appreciates the female form. Flirt a little with her, too.
'Somebody tell me why I'm on my own if there's a soulmate for everyone' :Natasha Bedingfield
 
teo747
Posts: 123
Joined: Sat Nov 25, 2006 2:44 pm

RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Thu Jul 16, 2009 3:46 am

I have been in a similar situation with a female coworker who was making fairly obvious romantic advances towards me, and found that the best approach is to just be honest and, most importantly, keep it short and simple. There's no need to explain yourself ("I'm not gay") or make up stories about fake girlfriends which will probably just make things even more awkward - just tell him that your relationship with him is purely professional and is not going to go beyond that. If he won't drop the subject and asks for an explanation, then it could be ok to tell him you're not gay, although I still don't think you owe him any explanation other than a simple refusal.

Also, it sure would be great if I could sue every woman who has ever turned me down for a date. I would be a very, very rich man!
 
AirframeAS
Posts: 9811
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:19 am



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 26):
I think im just going to do that wear a ring and just say that I keep all things on a work related basis.

Are you *bleeeeeeeeeeping* serious, dude? Ditch the ring, be honest to the guy.

Quoting Diamond (Reply 36):
You cannot be sued for telling him you aren't interested.

You cannot be sued for telling him your sexuality doesn't match his.

You cannot be sued for telling him that some things he says make you uncomfortable.

Diamond is right x 3!!!

Quoting 7324ever (Reply 37):
Quoting Diamond (Reply 36):
The Fair Housing Act

The thing that scares me

Then why are you in this business that you are in?? I hate to say this but you really need to grow some brass balls!!!! Sorry for the disrespect, but somebody had to say it.
A Safe Flight Begins With Quality Maintenance On The Ground.
 
Doona
Posts: 3382
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Thu Jul 16, 2009 3:58 pm



Quoting Ual747 (Reply 15):
Total Bottom?

Damn, beat me to it...  silly 

Quoting 7324ever (Reply 37):
The thing that scares me

WHY!? It has nothing to do with your situation. Unless he's a woman and you're denying him the purchase of a house because of the fact that he has a lady-taco!

Cheers
Mats
Sure, we're concerned for our lives. Just not as concerned as saving 9 bucks on a roundtrip to Ft. Myers.
 
UAL747
Posts: 6725
Joined: Mon Dec 13, 1999 5:42 am

RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Thu Jul 16, 2009 4:01 pm

So it's the day after your meeting with him. How'd it go? You get laid, or tell him you didn't want any?

UAL
"Bangkok Tower, United 890 Heavy. Bangkok Tower, United 890 Heavy.....Okay, fine, we'll just turn 190 and Visual Our Way
 
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DocLightning
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Thu Jul 16, 2009 8:13 pm



Quoting AznMadSci (Reply 34):

Many gay guys with or without partners also wear wedding bands.

I may start. But a wedding band on the left ring finger means "Don't even bother."

Quoting AirframeAS (Reply 43):

Are you *bleeeeeeeeeeping* serious, dude? Ditch the ring, be honest to the guy.

After having several female patients come on to me, I simply started wearing a wedding band to work. Fixed that problem real quick.
-Doc Lightning-

"The sky calls to us. If we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars."
-Carl Sagan
 
aznmadsci
Posts: 1643
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:32 pm



Quoting DocLightning (Reply 46):
But a wedding band on the left ring finger means "Don't even bother."

And for some guys I know, a new kind of challenge ... "Please don't tell my wife!"
The journey of life is not based on the accomplishments, but the experience.
 
7324ever
Topic Author
Posts: 383
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:10 am

Well I "Broke the news" too him.

He took it, odd.

When we first sat down to talk it out he was really talkative excited anf "flirty". Then after we ordered I just said, "Look I understand you like me and I am very flattered but I am going to have to pass on your advances. I am not gay but don't have anything against you. Until the house closes I would live to keep this a business relationship. After closing I do not mind hanging out and being just friends. Like I said i am flattered but sorry."

After that he was just very quiet. He didn't seem to take it that bad but was just there and we went over papers. ate then said good bye.

I kind of feel bad but i really don' tknow.
Anything the US and EU build the Russians do it better! i.e. TU-144 vs Concorde and TU-154 vs The 727...
 
Phoenix9
Posts: 2042
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RE: I Need Help With A Gay Guy...

Fri Jul 17, 2009 2:16 am



Quoting 7324ever (Reply 48):
Then after we ordered I just said, "Look I understand you like me and I am very flattered but I am going to have to pass on your advances

Well, here's the thing....do you know for sure he is gay? If not, then, well  wideeyed   ziplip 
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