andz
Posts: 7628
Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2004 7:49 pm

Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Sat Feb 13, 2010 3:07 pm

Prince Charles is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.

The patient replies:

"Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm."

Charles is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient. The patient responds:

"Some hae meat an canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat an we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit."

Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the Prince moves on to the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:

"Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
Wha' sich a panic in thy breastie,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie,
Wi bickering brattle."

Now seriously troubled, Charles turns to the accompanying doctor and asks "Is this a psychiatric ward?"

"No," replies the doctor, "this is the serious Burns unit."
After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF...
 
srbmod
Posts: 15446
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 1:32 pm

RE: Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Sat Feb 13, 2010 3:17 pm

Why does that joke remind me of the Monty Python sketch "The Hospital For Over-Actors"?   

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mP3-vSR50E
 
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yowza
Posts: 4282
Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 7:01 am

RE: Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Sat Feb 13, 2010 4:48 pm

hahahha classic.

YOWza
 
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nighthawk
Posts: 4795
Joined: Sun Sep 16, 2001 2:33 am

RE: Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Sat Feb 13, 2010 5:57 pm

Quoting Andz (Thread starter):
"No," replies the doctor, "this is the serious Burns unit."


 
 
Ken777
Posts: 9101
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2004 5:39 am

RE: Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Sat Feb 13, 2010 6:42 pm

That was exceptionally funny - especially for someone whose wife was born in Scotland.

Obviously I forwarded it to the wife and brother-in-law.
 
lukeyboy95
Posts: 1058
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 7:07 pm

RE: Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Sat Feb 13, 2010 7:20 pm

Funny and two weeks ago it might have been quite topical too!
This could potentiallly spark some of the 'there's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman' jokes.. I'll contact my brother to get some...
Breaking down the stereotypes - one by one
 
pawsleykat
Posts: 1714
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2005 7:38 pm

RE: Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Sat Feb 13, 2010 8:48 pm

HAHA! That was absolutely hilarious! I love the punchline.

That's made my day 

JG  
First Class passengers are my favourites. They can't get any further forward without an ATPL.
 
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Revelation
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Joined: Wed Feb 09, 2005 9:37 pm

RE: Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Sun Feb 14, 2010 3:13 am

Quoting Andz (Thread starter):
Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Maybe this will help bring them out:

Inspiration, move me brightly! Light the song with sense and color.
Hold away despair, more than this I will not ask.
Faced with mysteries dark and vast, statements just seem vain at last.
Some rise, some fall, some climb, to get to Terrapin!
 
lukeyboy95
Posts: 1058
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 7:07 pm

RE: Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Tue Feb 16, 2010 5:54 pm

Quoting Revelation (Reply 7):
Maybe this will help bring them out:

That would be people from Aberdeen you were looking for in this occassion

Promise of sun would most likely bring out all the true Scots!
Breaking down the stereotypes - one by one
 
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kc135topboom
Posts: 11022
Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2005 2:26 am

RE: Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Tue Feb 16, 2010 6:13 pm

Quoting lukeyboy95 (Reply 8):
Promise of sun would most likely bring out all the true Scots!

Only if there was free beer and rotten mutten stuffed ionto a boiled sheeps stomach...........
 
lukeyboy95
Posts: 1058
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 7:07 pm

RE: Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Wed Feb 17, 2010 2:32 pm

Quoting KC135TopBoom (Reply 9):
Only if there was free beer and rotten mutten stuffed ionto a boiled sheeps stomach...........

haha - Haggis is the food of kings! Nothing is rotten, only the freshest ingredients. And please... Beer!? Like Tennants... cliche us sufficiently to say a bottle of Macallan 10 Yrs Single Malt

To wet your appetite with!
http://www.themacallan.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haggis
Breaking down the stereotypes - one by one
 
cptkrell
Posts: 3186
Joined: Sun Sep 23, 2001 10:50 pm

RE: Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Wed Feb 17, 2010 11:26 pm

My father was born in Scotland and told me there were more statues erected to honor Robert than Jesus. I don't know the truth about that, but I think Rabbie would smile for sure at Andz's thread-starter. Smiles...jack
all best; jack
 
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airkas1
Crew
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Joined: Sat Dec 20, 2003 7:01 am

RE: Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Thu Feb 18, 2010 8:15 am

I don't get it.. :/

Airliners.net Crew - Head Photo Screener
 
gordonsmall
Posts: 2106
Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2001 1:52 am

RE: Let's See How Many Real Scots Are Here...

Thu Feb 18, 2010 9:40 am

Quoting Andz (Thread starter):
"No," replies the doctor, "this is the serious Burns unit."

No matter how often I hear that joke, it always makes me laugh - it's just the pure simplicity of it.

In other news I see the Scottish flag has been returned to it's rightful place, and not before time.  
Quoting AirKas1 (Reply 12):
I don't get it.. :/

Presumably you have no Scottish connections, hence ........
Statistically, people who have had the most birthdays tend to live the longest.

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