GST
Topic Author
Posts: 808
Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2008 10:27 am

Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Wed Jul 28, 2010 7:25 pm

I thought it would be fun for us to have a topic devoted to our wild and wonderful schemes to do various things. Although the title specifies that they should help the world, that is only because I ran out of characters, ideas to dominate are also fair game, let out your inner Blofeld or engineering Mother Teresa (and anything in between). There is just a single proviso for ideas, and that is that they must be theoretically possible (if not practical).

To get us started I'll post one of my plans to save the world:


Modern cruise missiles are capable of carrying large payloads of nasty long distances, and depositing their lethal cargo into a ludicrously small target area. They can cross mountains, rivers, and fly in all weather conditions. When natural disasters happen, entire communities are cut off from the world by collapsed bridges, blocked roads, lava flows etc. And these are the communities that often need help most. Until the land passageways are patched up the only way to get supplies they need is by helicopter, and helicopters take time to get to a disaster zone & are limited to good weather operations. I propose that de-militarized cruise missiles be produced that replace a payload of high explosives with tents and German sausages. When a disaster occurs, the missiles are targeted at open areas around target towns and villages (farms, sports fields etc) and are fired. When the missile is a couple of hundred meters short of the objective, a parachute is deployed and it floats gently down to the awaiting desperately sausage craving tentless masses. The missile can then be disassembled (with the supplied allen keys) to be used for materials, or its parts sold to help restart the local economy.

I propose that batteries of these missiles should be deployed in the most disaster prone areas of the earth, ready to immediately begin helping when something happens. Mobile batteries and plenty of spare missiles should be ready on 24 hour standby on an obscure tiny pacific island (for theatrical reasons) to bring the missiles to aid any disaster in any non-ballistically equipped region, or reinforce the equipped ones after an extra large event.
 
Fly2HMO
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RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:05 pm

Quoting GST (Thread starter):
To get us started I'll post one of my plans to save the world:

Interesting concept. Though extremely expensive.


And if I were to say my ideas to save the world I'd get banned or at the very least flamed, so I'll just leave it at that.
 
BMI727
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RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Wed Jul 28, 2010 8:12 pm

Quoting GST (Thread starter):
When a disaster occurs, the missiles are targeted at open areas around target towns and villages (farms, sports fields etc) and are fired. When the missile is a couple of hundred meters short of the objective, a parachute is deployed and it floats gently down to the awaiting desperately sausage craving tentless masses. The missile can then be disassembled (with the supplied allen keys) to be used for materials, or its parts sold to help restart the local economy.

Because nothing bad can come from tossing classified missile technology at third world countries?
Why do Aerospace Engineering students have to turn things in on time?
 
MarSciGuy
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RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:58 pm

Quoting BMI727 (Reply 2):
Quoting GST (Thread starter):
When a disaster occurs, the missiles are targeted at open areas around target towns and villages (farms, sports fields etc) and are fired. When the missile is a couple of hundred meters short of the objective, a parachute is deployed and it floats gently down to the awaiting desperately sausage craving tentless masses. The missile can then be disassembled (with the supplied allen keys) to be used for materials, or its parts sold to help restart the local economy.

Because nothing bad can come from tossing classified missile technology at third world countries?


Deliberately make a class of missiles with guidance systems a la V2 from WW2 or something crude and old technology enough that it'll hit a large field but won't give away the high technology gyroscopic / positioning technology.

Instead of using the missile pieces for construction materials they could store them on site til vehicles got there, and ship them back to be reused, further saving money...
"There weren't a ton of gnats there where a ton of gnats and their families as well!"
 
Yellowstone
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RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:11 pm

I'll throw one out that I had when I was in middle school. Inspired by the flocks of seagulls that would congregate to eat the trash kids left on the ground after lunch, I decided that the solution to world hunger was just to hunt the seagulls and mail them to Africa.
Hydrogen is an odorless, colorless gas which, given enough time, turns into people.
 
FlyDeltaJets87
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RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:18 pm

Quoting GST (Thread starter):

Why doesn't airdrop by a C-17 or C-130 work?

Why use a missile? Missiles have very limited space for payload. They're heavy because the explosive material is very dense. Where are you going to put the food, water, supplies, etc in this missile? My point is you're going to have to lob a hell of a lot of cruise missiles into one location just to provide basic supplies.
"Let's Roll"- Todd Beamer, United Airlines Flight 93, Sept. 11, 2001
 
GST
Topic Author
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RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:52 pm

Quoting Fly2HMO (Reply 1):
Interesting concept. Though extremely expensive.

Not necessarily if this chap is to be believed http://www.interestingprojects.com/cruisemissile/diary.shtml

Quoting marsciguy (Reply 3):
Instead of using the missile pieces for construction materials they could store them on site til vehicles got there

I figure that with a large number of desperate people about, anything vaguely useful will disappear regardless of what you do, so you may as well encourage it.

Quoting FlyDeltaJets87 (Reply 5):
Why doesn't airdrop by a C-17 or C-130 work?

Those require clear weather to operate in most areas, plus extensive logistics. In high risk regions you can have many batteries ready with pre-programmed targets ready to operate as soon as the action starts.

Quoting FlyDeltaJets87 (Reply 5):
Why use a missile?

Because they're cool!

Quoting Yellowstone (Reply 4):
I decided that the solution to world hunger was just to hunt the seagulls and mail them to Africa.

Would you also consider other flocking thieving birds like pigeons? or what about small rodents?

Lets hear some more from folks!
 
TheCommodore
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RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:14 pm

Ban carbonated drinks that have no nutritional value what so ever.
The amount of teeth decay and obesity they cause in the world is horrendous.

Not to mention a complete waste of money.

That's my idea.  
“At first, they'll only dislike what you say, but the more correct you start sounding the more they'll dislike you.”
 
BO__einG
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RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:22 am

Get rid of Telemarketers and toss bibles to the corruptibles.

For evil countries or states which are lawless, decrepit, and dirty, trigger a volcanic eruption or an earthquake or maybe a hurricane to rid of them. That would take away the use of military force and deadly weapons.

Greenhouse gases and pollution, enforce Tata's to heavy polluter countries and get rid of the SUV's.
Follow @kimbo_snaps on Instagram or bokimon- on Flickr to see more pics of me and my travels.
 
GAIsweetGAI
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Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2006 5:19 am

RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:40 am

Quoting BO__einG (Reply 8):

For evil countries or states which are lawless, decrepit, and dirty, trigger a volcanic eruption or an earthquake or maybe a hurricane to rid of them. That would take away the use of military force and deadly weapons.

Or we could send them all our lawyers.   
"There is an art, or rather a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
 
Airstud
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RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:00 am

I want to know exactly what the OP's animus is against Polish sausages.
Pancakes are delicious.
 
ual747den
Posts: 1472
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RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:27 am

Quoting TheCommodore (Reply 7):
Ban carbonated drinks that have no nutritional value what so ever.
The amount of teeth decay and obesity they cause in the world is horrendous.

Not to mention a complete waste of money.

That's my idea.  

You sound like my father-in-law! I like my Cherry Coke thank you very much!

Quoting BO__einG (Reply 8):
get rid of the SUV's.

Now that would be very EVIL! Juts like my Coke I like my SUV's.
/// UNITED AIRLINES
 
Airstud
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RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:31 am

Quoting TheCommodore (Reply 7):
The amount of teeth decay and obesity they cause in the world is horrendous.

Yeah no.

There's any number of people in the world who enjoy a cold refreshing fizzy drink every so often and still take proper care of their teeth & weigth.

Obesity and tooth decay are caused by laziness, apathy, and stupidity. Why has no one suggested banning those?
Pancakes are delicious.
 
TheCommodore
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RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Fri Jul 30, 2010 6:52 am

Quoting Airstud (Reply 12):
Obesity and tooth decay are caused by laziness, apathy, and stupidity. Why has no one suggested banning those?

They just might.!  

But I think its its been proven that high rates of consumption of carbonated drinks = tooth decay. I remember hearing that somewhere years ago.
“At first, they'll only dislike what you say, but the more correct you start sounding the more they'll dislike you.”
 
ALTF4
Posts: 1154
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RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:30 pm

Quoting TheCommodore (Reply 13):
But I think its its been proven that high rates of consumption of carbonated drinks = tooth decay. I remember hearing that somewhere years ago.

I remember hearing, somewhere years ago, that we would all be using flying cars by now.

Besides, with your idea, I would be out of a job...  
The above post is my opinion. Don't like it? Don't read it.
 
MingToo
Posts: 353
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RE: Your Brilliant Schemes & Plots To Help The World

Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:03 pm

Quoting TheCommodore (Reply 13):
But I think its its been proven that high rates of consumption of carbonated drinks = tooth decay. I remember hearing that somewhere years ago.

That's a minor problem:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3727613.stm

A team from India's Tata Memorial Hospital found consumption of carbonated drinks had increased five-fold in the US in the last 50 years.

They linked this to a six-fold increase in oesophageal cancer in white men - who consume the most fizzy drinks.

However, other scientists have questioned whether a link exists, and called for more research.

The Indian team found the same trend in UK and Australia, where fizzy drink consumption has also increased.

In the UK 7,200 people a year are diagnosed with gullet cancer - up 65% in the last 30 years.

But in countries like China and Japan, where the fizzy drinks craze has been much slower to catch on, there was no rise in cancers affecting the oesophagus.

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