Carlisle
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Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Tue Aug 10, 2010 11:47 pm

So let's say you've been seeing someone and you both were under the impression that you were involved in an LTR (Long Term Relationship.) You notice that your significant other slowly but surely is becoming less and less commited to the relationship and romanctic. The person decides one day to tell you that he/she wants to avoid being in a non-romantic relationship basis for a one month "trial period." After that, the relationship would see where it went. The basis of the trial period would be to "get to know each other better as friends" before taking it further. I've been seeing this person for four months. Would you take this as a break-up speech made the wrong way or avoiding to make a real and honest break up?

Thank you for your time.

Jeremy
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waterpolodan
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:00 am

Quoting Carlisle (Thread starter):
Would you take this as a break-up speech made the wrong way or avoiding to make a real and honest break up?

I'd take it as someone that either has cold feet and knows it won't go anywhere and would prefer to drag it out because she's too scared to be blunt and hurt you, or someone that isn't very savvy with dating and actually thinks that it might work to "take a break". I've seen many friends do this, I've even been through this as well, but in 95% of these instances where one person wants to take a break for a while, it doesn't work out. I'd start playing the field again, so to speak, as if it's only been 4 months she should still be caught up in the newness and not wondering if you guys should try just being friends. Sorry to be a debbie downer, but that's my take.
 
TheCol
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:14 am

Quoting Carlisle (Thread starter):
and you both were under the impression that you were involved in an LTR (Long Term Relationship.)
Quoting Carlisle (Thread starter):
I've been seeing this person for four months.

You're kidding, right?

Quoting Carlisle (Thread starter):
The person decides one day to tell you that he/she wants to avoid being in a non-romantic relationship basis for a one month "trial period." After that, the relationship
would see where it went. The basis of the trial period would be to "get to know each other better as friends
" before taking it further.

In other words, she isn't attracted to you anymore and wants to break-up.

It's all pretty strait forward.
No matter how random things may appear, there's always a plan.
 
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Aaron747
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:23 am

The situation is hopeless - resistance is futile. Don't buy that "taking a break line" - tell him/her if they have any respect for you they need to break it you straight regarding why they're opting out. At least then you won't have anything to wonder about.
If you need someone to blame / throw a rock in the air / you'll hit someone guilty
 
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mbmbos
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:30 am

I have no idea whether the other person is being truthful or not. But I would say your relationship is on shaky ground. And I would also say that yes, taking a step back to get some perspective occasionally works. It's up to you to decide whether the pain of the situation and the high risk it won't work out is worth a one month trial period. But if you're really interested in the other person and you think she is reasonably honest, it might be worth a try.
"If I don't manage to fly, someone else will. The spirit wants only for there to be flying. As for who happens to do it, in that he has only a passing interest."
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CaliAtenza
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:38 am

Quoting Carlisle (Thread starter):
So let's say you've been seeing someone and you both were under the impression that you were involved in an LTR (Long Term Relationship.) You notice that your significant other slowly but surely is becoming less and less commited to the relationship and romanctic. The person decides one day to tell you that he/she wants to avoid being in a non-romantic relationship basis for a one month "trial period." After that, the relationship would see where it went. The basis of the trial period would be to "get to know each other better as friends" before taking it further. I've been seeing this person for four months. Would you take this as a break-up speech made the wrong way or avoiding to make a real and honest break up?

Thank you for your time.

My ex did this about a year and a half ago....there is a thread about it on here, somewhere. My advice is, RUN..seriously. It isnt worth the time and the headache. Dont make the same mistake i did, by taking her back after the "break" that SHE went on. There is someone else out there for you that will appreciate you and not pull stuff like "a break". It is the stupidest crap ive ever heard about in a relationship. BTW, how old is this girl?
 
Derico
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 12:46 am

Preemptive dumping is in order.

And once you do, stay single. The amount of money it saves is incredible. Just spent almost 2,000 USD aprox on a massive computer comfig, instead of some stupid 700 dress + super fancy dinner + weekend trip to ski crap.

Actually, I've never done the above but seen friends buy their now EXes apple laptops, trips, thousands of dollars thrown in the garbage.

The only time I would ever spend over 50 USD at a time on a girl is when she is married to me. Before that absolutely not, unless it's a vacation where I'm enjoying it.
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ScarletHarlot
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 1:05 am

Sounds like a clumsy way of breaking up to me.

You deserve better than that. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. Don't let her. If she wants to break up with you, she needs to do so. No half-assedness that leaves you strung along.

Be strong!
But that was when I ruled the world
 
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Aesma
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 1:13 am

I knew the "let's be friends" line, but "let's be friends for a while to know each other better and then maybe have sex again" is quite novel to me !
New Technology is the name we give to stuff that doesn't work yet. Douglas Adams
 
Fly2HMO
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 1:41 am

Ah yes, the infamous "lets just be friends" card. Ditch her ASAP. Don't bother pulling through with it.

Out of the 20+ girls I've dated, only 1 (yes ONE) had the guts to straight up say she was no longer interested. And frankly, I much rather have it be that way, but girls just never do that. All of the other girls just either started being flaky all of a sudden, they wouldn't answer calls, or at best they pull the infamous "lets just be friends" card on me. Girls are very cowardly when it comes to blowing off guys they have some sort of relationship with.

The first couple of times (specially with my ex) it was major torture not knowing WTF they were thinking and worrying constantly whether I messed somewhere, whether if they were just playing hard to catch, you name it. In the end I just realized a key thing (the hard way): women will NEVER be up front with you. It may be obvious to many by now, including myself, but to the uninitiated in dating (like I was not long ago) that's certainly not the case.

Anyways, my modus operandi nowadays is that if I get the slightest hint of doubt on a girl, I ask her what's her problem, straight up (obviously with more tact). More often than not I don't like the response. Which then results in me promptly saying, thanks but no thanks, and then we go our own separate ways. It's hard at first, but you're much better off ending things yourself. Sooooooo much less stress than wondering what's going on that crazy woman's head.

Quoting TheCol (Reply 2):


It's all pretty strait forward.

Assuming you know how to read girls to begin with   

[Edited 2010-08-10 18:42:11]

[Edited 2010-08-10 18:44:03]
 
ShyFlyer
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 2:19 am

Nothing good can come from this. Shake hands, remember the good times, and part ways.
I lift things up and put them down.
 
JBirdAV8r
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 2:25 am

Quoting ShyFlyer (Reply 10):
Nothing good can come from this. Shake hands, remember the good times, and part ways.

   No need to namby pamby around each other and be stuck in a rut of difficult feelings. Go with a clear conscience and spend time with people who appreciate your company! It's a (net) good thing!  
I got my head checked--by a jumbo jet
 
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Aaron747
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 2:40 am

Quoting Fly2HMO (Reply 9):
In the end I just realized a key thing (the hard way): women will NEVER be up front with you.

Sorry but because it's your experience does not make it so. Out of the 5 *serious* relationships I've had, 3 of them, including the one who became my spouse, have always been more or less straight - as in ask a question, get an answer without the fog. One of them thankfully wasn't destined for success only because she was very up front about family obligations on her end that I wasn't willing to consider.

That isn't to say I haven't had flings where both of us were clearly lying to each other, but there weren't really any illusions either. What I do know is that women are as varied as the color spectrum - it may just be that you only meet and attract the ones who speak in grey.
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CaliAtenza
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 2:43 am

Quoting Fly2HMO (Reply 9):


Ah yes, the infamous "lets just be friends" card. Ditch her ASAP. Don't bother pulling through with it.

Out of the 20+ girls I've dated, only 1 (yes ONE) had the guts to straight up say she was no longer interested. And frankly, I much rather have it be that way, but girls just never do that. All of the other girls just either started being flaky all of a sudden, they wouldn't answer calls, or at best they pull the infamous "lets just be friends" card on me. Girls are very cowardly when it comes to blowing off guys they have some sort of relationship with.

The first couple of times (specially with my ex) it was major torture not knowing WTF they were thinking and worrying constantly whether I messed somewhere, whether if they were just playing hard to catch, you name it. In the end I just realized a key thing (the hard way): women will NEVER be up front with you. It may be obvious to many by now, including myself, but to the uninitiated in dating (like I was not long ago) that's certainly not the case.

Anyways, my modus operandi nowadays is that if I get the slightest hint of doubt on a girl, I ask her what's her problem, straight up (obviously with more tact). More often than not I don't like the response. Which then results in me promptly saying, thanks but no thanks, and then we go our own separate ways. It's hard at first, but you're much better off ending things yourself. Sooooooo much less stress than wondering what's going on that crazy woman's head.

I couldnt have said it better. Women say us men are confusing...but hell, i think women are vastly more confusing. They never know what they freaking want. I'll say this about guys, we want either a. to be friends only, b. to be f--k buddies, c. friends with benefits, e. one night stands or d. in a relationship. God knows what women are thinking at any given time.
 
sv7887
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 2:44 am

Quoting Derico (Reply 6):
And once you do, stay single. The amount of money it saves is incredible. Just spent almost 2,000 USD aprox on a massive computer comfig, instead of some stupid 700 dress + super fancy dinner + weekend trip to ski crap.

This is brilliant advice, and I unfortunately learned the hard way on this. My wallet these days thanks me.

Quoting Derico (Reply 6):
The only time I would ever spend over 50 USD at a time on a girl is when she is married to me. Before that absolutely not, unless it's a vacation where I'm enjoying it.

Absolutely. Unless you're married, it's like spending money on a rented/leased car. Waste IMHO.

Quoting Fly2HMO (Reply 9):
Ah yes, the infamous "lets just be friends" card. Ditch her ASAP. Don't bother pulling through with it.

Oh yeah, it's the ultimate PC way of breaking up. Don't deal with the BS just move on..There are no shortage of women out there. She's basically "letting you down easy" with the proviso that if her newfound Option A doesn't work she may be able to come to you, Option B.

Don't settle for anyone's backup plan. Learn from the experience and move on.
 
TSS
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 2:50 am

Quoting Carlisle (Thread starter):
Would you take this as a break-up speech made the wrong way or avoiding to make a real and honest break up?

Yes, absolutely.

Quoting TheCol (Reply 2):
In other words, she isn't attracted to you anymore and wants to break-up.

Yep. The cold, honest truth from TheCol.

Quoting Aaron747 (Reply 3):
The situation is hopeless - resistance is futile.

True. It's already over, she just won't come right out and say so.

Quoting Derico (Reply 6):
Preemptive dumping is in order.

Agreed! Say "Okay, it's been fun. See ya around", then turn around and walk away without looking back.

Quoting ScarletHarlot (Reply 7):
Sounds like a clumsy way of breaking up to me.

You deserve better than that. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. Don't let her. If she wants to break up with you, she needs to do so. No half-assedness that leaves you strung along.

Very true. The best you can hope for out of this is to become her "D*ck Under Glass"- in case of emergency, break glass. That means you're expected to be available 24/7 for when her next boyfriend breaks up with her, but once she's over him you'll be right back under the glass with no hope of ever being her "main man" again.

There's also an extremely good chance that she's met someone else she wants to date but doesn't want to fully break up with you in case the other guy doesn't work out. Don't fall for it.

Quoting ShyFlyer (Reply 10):
Nothing good can come from this. Shake hands, remember the good times, and part ways.

Yeah, that about sums it up.
Able to kill active threads stone dead with a single post!
 
stratosphere
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 5:29 am

Quoting caliatenza (Reply 13):
I'll say this about guys, we want either a. to be friends only, b. to be f--k buddies, c. friends with benefits, e. one night stands or d. in a relationship. God knows what women are thinking at any given time.

I think you can safely say B. and C. are the same. But I agree going through kinda the same deal myself except at my age I don't play around too old to play games either you are on board or you are not.
 
Alias1024
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 5:36 am

Quoting Aesma (Reply 8):
I knew the "let's be friends" line, but "let's be friends for a while to know each other better and then maybe have sex again" is quite novel to me !

I thought that was pretty inventive too!

I agree with everyone else that it's time to say goodbye and move on to someone new.
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Fly2HMO
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 5:43 am

Quoting Aaron747 (Reply 12):

Sorry but because it's your experience does not make it so. Out of the 5 *serious* relationships I've had, 3 of them, including the one who became my spouse, have always been more or less straight - as in ask a question, get an answer without the fog. One of them thankfully wasn't destined for success only because she was very up front about family obligations on her end that I wasn't willing to consider.

Well aren't you the lucky one. Part of the reason I reached those conclusions as well were due to all the nasty experiences I've heard from friends and what not. Honest, up-front girls that don't beat around the bush are without doubt the minority out there.

Quoting caliatenza (Reply 13):
I'll say this about guys, we want either a. to be friends only, b. to be f--k buddies, c. friends with benefits, e. one night stands or d. in a relationship. God knows what women are thinking at any given time.

My thoughts exactly.

Quoting sv7887 (Reply 14):
She's basically "letting you down easy" with the proviso that if her newfound Option A doesn't work she may be able to come to you, Option B.
Quoting TSS (Reply 15):

There's also an extremely good chance that she's met someone else she wants to date but doesn't want to fully break up with you in case the other guy doesn't work out. Don't fall for it.

Being plan B is probably worst than getting friend-zoned. That's pretty much a break up BUT she keeps you within fingertip reach, which will only lead to severe psychological torment. And that's not considering there are a few sick women that are out there just looking to torment (usually nice) guys just for shits and giggles. NEVER be a girls red carpet. I learned the hard way.   
 
TheCol
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 6:17 am

Quoting Derico (Reply 6):
And once you do, stay single. The amount of money it saves is incredible. Just spent almost 2,000 USD aprox on a massive computer comfig, instead of some stupid 700 dress + super fancy dinner + weekend trip to ski crap.

  

Quoting Fly2HMO (Reply 9):
Assuming you know how to read girls to begin with

The whole point is that he shouldn't try.
No matter how random things may appear, there's always a plan.
 
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Aaron747
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 6:26 am

Quoting stratosphere (Reply 16):
I think you can safely say B. and C. are the same.

They are not - there's a reason one is called friend and the other isn't. A f*ck buddy is literally a go-to person for a moment's notice, and schedule considerations aside, it'll happen. When you're done, you or they leave, and you don't talk about personal stuff at all. A friend with benefits is someone you can have a conversation or meal with minus any date or relationship pressure and still take to bed with no questions asked. Quite a difference between the two really.
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CaliAtenza
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 8:03 am

Quoting TSS (Reply 15):

There's also an extremely good chance that she's met someone else she wants to date but doesn't want to fully break up with you in case the other guy doesn't work out. Don't fall for it.

this happened to me...WHILE MY EX WAS STILL LIVING WITH ME..lol. So yeah...thats another stupid tactic.
 
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Aaron747
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 8:31 am

Quoting caliatenza (Reply 21):
this happened to me...WHILE MY EX WAS STILL LIVING WITH ME

See this is where our simple nature can put us ahead of women. When I had a relationship once I couldn't figure out how to extricate myself from, it dawned on me that cheating and making sure I was caught would be the easiest way. I was right...not proud of it necessarily, but right nonetheless.
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AirPacific747
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 8:58 am

Quoting Carlisle (Thread starter):
Would you take this as a break-up speech made the wrong way or avoiding to make a real and honest break up?

   exactly yes. I've tried this myself.. :S Some girls do have a funny way of saying things instead of just saying it directly but I think it is clear what it means.

Last hope would be to show her that you don't need her (no matter how much you care for her) and you might become interesting to her again.

[Edited 2010-08-11 02:03:36]
 
LASoctoberB6
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 9:28 am

Quoting Fly2HMO (Reply 18):
friend-zoned

Explain (please).
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iairallie
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 10:39 am

Girl perspective here. Sounds like the relationship got more physical than she was comfortable with too fast and now she is wondering if there is anything else to the relationship beyond the phyisicality.

And 4 months is not a LTR. LOL
Enough about flying lets talk about me!
 
AustrianZRH
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 10:45 am

Quoting sv7887 (Reply 14):
Quoting Derico (Reply 6):
And once you do, stay single. The amount of money it saves is incredible. Just spent almost 2,000 USD aprox on a massive computer comfig, instead of some stupid 700 dress + super fancy dinner + weekend trip to ski crap.

This is brilliant advice, and I unfortunately learned the hard way on this. My wallet these days thanks me.

Gawd, how I like the European way of dating .
WARNING! The post above should be taken with a grain of salt! Furthermore, it may be slightly biased towards A.
 
sw733
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 3:52 pm

Quoting caliatenza (Reply 13):
a.
Quoting caliatenza (Reply 13):
b.
Quoting caliatenza (Reply 13):
c.
Quoting caliatenza (Reply 13):
e.
Quoting caliatenza (Reply 13):
d.

Ah crap, I learned the alphabet wrong I guess
 
Fly2HMO
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 4:17 pm

 
Derico
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 5:50 pm

Just responding in general,

My best friend how is 5 years older went 4 years spending all kinds of cash on this girl: trips, a brand new APPLE computer, a whole DVD movie library (both movie fanatics). They were basically engaged. Then one day the girl decided to take a masters program in the US state of Indiana, some very expensive college. She left and never bothered to call my friend again. It devastated him.

It is thanks to this nearby experience, and a few other similar tales I've heard on my social grapevine, I have never and will never lose money like that over a woman. If she wants me, she wont want anything lavish. If she does, then she needs to date a milionaire and leave me alone. 

It's funny but just the other day this guy opened his car trunk, lifted the spare tire compartment and sure enough... there were all kinds of teddies and other stuff, more money straight to a dump in a garbage bag.

The girl was South Korean.
My internet was not shut down, the internet has shut me down
 
sudden
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 8:55 pm

Dude,
You need a snowglobe! 
When in doubt, flat out!
 
vikkyvik
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 9:33 pm

Quoting sv7887 (Reply 14):
Absolutely. Unless you're married, it's like spending money on a rented/leased car. Waste IMHO.

Dunno about you, but having sex with a car just ain't the same......

Quoting sudden (Reply 30):
You need a snowglobe!

Damn, it took 30 replies!
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".
 
GQfluffy
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 10:17 pm

Quoting caliatenza (Reply 5):
Dont make the same mistake i did, by taking her back after the "break" that SHE went on.

How's those "But we were on a break..." crabs? 

I'm sorry for the females who responded, but this will end unpleasant if he assumes the girl will be back, it almost never happens. Best to just end it and move on now. Don't talk to her, don't call her, don't IM her, don't go check out her twater/facebook/myspace. Delete it all and move on. It'll suck at first, but within a month or two you'll be more than fine.
This isn't where I parked my car...
 
iairallie
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Wed Aug 11, 2010 11:20 pm

Quoting GQfluffy (Reply 32):
I'm sorry for the females who responded, but this will end unpleasant if he assumes the girl will be back, it almost never happens. Best to just end it and move on now. Don't talk to her, don't call her, don't IM her, don't go check out her twater/facebook/myspace. Delete it all and move on. It'll suck at first, but within a month or two you'll be more than fine

No need to appologize I agree with you.
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ScarletHarlot
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Thu Aug 12, 2010 3:41 am

Quoting iairallie (Reply 33):
No need to appologize I agree with you.

Me too. What females are you referring to? Iairallie and I are the only ones on the thread, as far as I know, and we both said the same thing.
But that was when I ruled the world
 
Maverick623
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:04 am

Quoting Carlisle (Thread starter):
So let's say you've been seeing someone and you both were under the impression that you were involved in an LTR (Long Term Relationship.)

First of all, the phrase "Long Term Relationship" should only be used after a relationship has lasted for a long time. It is not a category, nor something that can be tried out. It either has been or it hasn't been yet. Using it preemptively leads to situations like these, where you create an artificial need to stay together to "fulfill the prophecy".

Quoting Carlisle (Thread starter):
"trial period."

The trial period is the actual relationship, not the breakup.

Quoting Derico (Reply 6):
Preemptive dumping is in order.

Too late. He's already been dumped. What he needs to do is realize that, and move on.

Quoting Fly2HMO (Reply 18):
And that's not considering there are a few sick women that are out there just looking to torment (usually nice) guys just for shits and giggles.

The trick with that is to turn it around by leading them along. Make them think they're getting to you, but never really give them the full satisfaction of watching you go crazy.
"PHX is Phoenix, PDX is the other city" -777Way
 
Fly2HMO
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Thu Aug 12, 2010 7:20 am

Quoting Maverick623 (Reply 35):

The trick with that is to turn it around by leading them along. Make them think they're getting to you, but never really give them the full satisfaction of watching you go crazy.

Had I only known that 4 years ago   

I have done that recently though, surprisingly works wonders. Always gotta be a step ahead.
 
LASoctoberB6
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Thu Aug 12, 2010 8:15 am

Quoting Fly2HMO (Reply 28):

Jeez, man, I didn't know that even existed.. I thought it was something you made up.  
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avent
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Thu Aug 12, 2010 3:19 pm

Quoting Fly2HMO (Reply 36):
Had I only known that 4 years ago

I have done that recently though, surprisingly works wonders. Always gotta be a step ahead.

Of course, advice concerning the emotional aspects of relationships, from someone who starts the soft-porn 'would you hit it' topics, might warrant special consideration.

 
 
sudden
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Thu Aug 12, 2010 5:50 pm

Quoting vikkyvik (Reply 31):
Damn, it took 30 replies!

Took me by surprise as well. I guess most doesn't know this story.  
When in doubt, flat out!
 
Fly2HMO
Posts: 7207
Joined: Sat Jan 24, 2004 12:14 pm

RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Thu Aug 12, 2010 6:54 pm

Quoting LASoctoberB6 (Reply 37):

Jeez, man, I didn't know that even existed.. I thought it was something you made up

It's a fairly old internet meme.

Quoting avent (Reply 38):

Of course, advice concerning the emotional aspects of relationships, from someone who starts the soft-porn 'would you hit it' topics, might warrant special consideration.

Any advice requires special consideration   
 
vikkyvik
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:04 am

Quoting sudden (Reply 39):
Took me by surprise as well. I guess most doesn't know this story.

Hmmm. Perhaps it's finally time for Mr. Flairport to make a comeback.
I'm watching Jeopardy. The category is worst Madonna songs. "This one from 1987 is terrible".
 
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Dreadnought
Posts: 9929
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:24 am

Quoting Carlisle (Thread starter):
So let's say you've been seeing someone and you both were under the impression that you were involved in an LTR (Long Term Relationship.) You notice that your significant other slowly but surely is becoming less and less commited to the relationship and romanctic. The person decides one day to tell you that he/she wants to avoid being in a non-romantic relationship basis for a one month "trial period." After that, the relationship would see where it went. The basis of the trial period would be to "get to know each other better as friends" before taking it further. I've been seeing this person for four months. Would you take this as a break-up speech made the wrong way or avoiding to make a real and honest break up?

Sounds to me like it's time to bang her sister.

Signed: Dr. Dreadnought - relationship counselor to the great unwashed
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - W. Churchill
 
Maverick623
Posts: 4650
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:25 am

Quoting vikkyvik (Reply 41):
Perhaps it's finally time for Mr. Flairport to make a comeback.

"When I Was 17: the A.net Edition"
"PHX is Phoenix, PDX is the other city" -777Way
 
ShyFlyer
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Fri Aug 13, 2010 12:37 am

Quoting sudden (Reply 39):
I guess most doesn't know this story.

Should be able to find the DVD version in the bargain bin by now....
I lift things up and put them down.
 
wn700driver
Posts: 1475
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Fri Aug 13, 2010 5:07 am

Just tell her you've reviewed the situation, and after careful evaluation, you've decided you're going to have to pass on the offer in question and just let her go instead.

That approach has always worked pretty well for me when the need, or potential thereof, to terminate a relationship comes up. She'll understand. Hell, she may even change her mind and discontinue jerking you around like that.

Then tell her (and this is my favorite part...) that if she has any immediate comment/feeling regarding the matter, that you'll be riding a giraffe off into the sunset and will get back to her later...
Base not your happiness on the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. No Hope = No Fear
 
sudden
Posts: 3934
Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2001 5:20 pm

RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Fri Aug 13, 2010 8:07 am

Quoting ShyFlyer (Reply 44):
Should be able to find the DVD version in the bargain bin by now....

In which section is this DVD to be found; In the B movie section, or in the how-to-not-win-a-girls-trust section?
When in doubt, flat out!
 
Carlisle
Topic Author
Posts: 217
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RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Fri Aug 13, 2010 9:22 pm

First of all, thank you everyone for your advice, support, etc. It's been hard for me to get over because I was really, and still am attracted to this person. I am pretty sure it's a done deal. I am hoping to learn, and maybe move on, hopefully one of these decades. (sigh) I will say this, don't EVER break up with someone the week of finding out that a family member has become terminally ill and only has months, maybe a tad more, to live. (I'll save that for a sequal thread...)

Quoting caliatenza (Reply 5):
BTW, how old is this girl?

32...

Quoting Derico (Reply 6):
And once you do, stay single. The amount of money it saves is incredible.

  

Quoting iairallie (Reply 25):
Girl perspective here. Sounds like the relationship got more physical than she was comfortable with too fast and now she is wondering if there is anything else to the relationship beyond the phyisicality.

Yes, well, uhm it would be safe to say that I wasn't the one who got really physical first.  
Quoting Dreadnought (Reply 42):
Sounds to me like it's time to bang her sister.

Even though I'm not really the revengful type, mostly, it sounds like a Good idea...

Once again, thank you, everyone... (I don't think I ever had a thread on Anet reach this many responses and with photos, too!) Have a good weekend.

Jeremy
"CLEAN PLANES AND DIRTY MARTINIS" (Delta)
 
Fly2HMO
Posts: 7207
Joined: Sat Jan 24, 2004 12:14 pm

RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Fri Aug 13, 2010 9:32 pm

Quoting carlisle (Reply 47):

Yes, well, uhm it would be safe to say that I wasn't the one who got really physical first.

O rly? Rings a very strong bell. Hmmm, maybe not the type of woman you'd want to be with anyways, depending on your tastes of course.

Quoting carlisle (Reply 47):
Even though I'm not really the revengful type, mostly, it sounds like a Good idea...

DO IT!!!!
 
iairallie
Posts: 2326
Joined: Thu May 20, 2004 5:42 am

RE: Dating Question, Soo Frustrated

Fri Aug 13, 2010 10:05 pm

Quoting carlisle (Reply 47):
Yes, well, uhm it would be safe to say that I wasn't the one who got really physical first.

Doesn't really matter. Many women feel uncomfortable with a relationship that seems to be based all on the physical stuff after the initial thrill begins to fade. It is kinda like buyers remorse. Going gee how well do I actually know this guy and is there anything else going on here?
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