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fca767
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Rude?

Tue Oct 04, 2011 8:19 pm

I was at work and took some papers to be scanned downstairs...he said "did you prepare these" I said "yes" he said "so they're going to be wrong then"

Now this person doesn't even know me, and didn't even look at my name or number.

So all I can think of is the weekend previous though I still hadn't talked to him and this time it was nothing to do with scanning and I didn't do anything wrong that weekend.

I know someone sat next to him who I used to say hello to, and I know I come across shy and sometimes a bit too friendly, maybe showing a weak side.

Do you think he's just being nasty to someone appearing vulnerable?

Do you think it's nice to make people feel bad.

I later asked him why he thinks that, and couldn't come up with an answer
 
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DeltaMD90
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RE: Rude?

Tue Oct 04, 2011 8:24 pm

There are haters everywhere. There has been an influx of haters on a.net lately too. Just ignore them and not worry about them. I can't take my own advice and I argue with them... it usually drags out into a long, useless argument and in the end I don't get anywhere with them--they are just haters and will be forever. Just ignore him, you sound like a nice person  
Ironically I have never flown a Delta MD-90 :)
 
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fca767
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RE: Rude?

Tue Oct 04, 2011 8:29 pm

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 1):

There are haters everywhere. There has been an influx of haters on a.net lately too. Just ignore them and not worry about them. I can't take my own advice and I argue with them... it usually drags out into a long, useless argument and in the end I don't get anywhere with them--they are just haters and will be forever. Just ignore him, you sound like a nice person

Thanks, strangely enough his girlfriend (I presume as they arrive together) was friendly after i left him to get something from her desk, after I said sorry for messing the table...so it's strange if he is horrible as she's super friendly. but anyway, I don't know why but I can't tell if something is harmless banter, because I know coming from a friend is ok if you're joking but he doesn't even know my name and saw me once.

I'll be happy thanks Delta   I just find it annoying that I can't put my finger on it and define the person.
 
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Tugger
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RE: Rude?

Tue Oct 04, 2011 8:30 pm

If it were me, I would have responded "Of course they are wrong!" And let it die. And not let it bother me again. And if the person did it again another time I might say "Of course! But only becasue you are scanning them for me!". And go on my merry way.

The only way something like this would bother me is if the person making the comment were my boss or someone that holds sway over me somehow.

Perhaps he was just trying to be funny "ha ha" and not mean. You asked him about it so he's aware of how it was received at least.
Just don't worry about.

Tugg
I don’t know that I am unafraid to be myself, but it is hard to be somebody else. -W. Shatner
 
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fca767
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RE: Rude?

Tue Oct 04, 2011 8:40 pm

Quoting tugger (Reply 3):
If it were me, I would have responded "Of course they are wrong!" And let it die. And not let it bother me again. And if the person did it again another time I might say "Of course! But only becasue you are scanning them for me!". And go on my merry way.

The only way something like this would bother me is if the person making the comment were my boss or someone that holds sway over me somehow.

Perhaps he was just trying to be funny "ha ha" and not mean. You asked him about it so he's aware of how it was received at least.
Just don't worry about.

Tugg

Yes, I went down later with more and said "I did these so some of them are wrong" or something to that remark   that's when I asked him why he said it the first time   He strangely offered to bring the box back up, maybe that was for him to get a good excursion or he was being helpful but either way didn't say sorry.
I'll stop analysing things but I just like explanations.
 
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DeltaMD90
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RE: Rude?

Tue Oct 04, 2011 8:54 pm

Funny story, well not really funny but I had a similar thing happen to me. At my college, there was a guy that I knew of and who knew of me, that was the extent of our relationship. My girlfriend said that at some party, he mentioned that he hated me and there was something about me I didn't like. What!? Completely out of the blue. I thought about keying this car, but I realized that was stupid, childish, and morally wrong (but man was I pissed!) Next semester I ended up working for him (we went to a military college and I was his direct subordinate) and he mentioned to her later that I wasn't bad and that he liked me, and we became good friends.

Come to find out much later, that his roommate at the time of him hating me liked my girlfriend and he was just trash talking me in an attempt to break us up and hook his roommate up with my girlfriend. I felt better knowing that it wasn't anything personal, and I was glad to actually know the reason. Terrible thing to do though!
Ironically I have never flown a Delta MD-90 :)
 
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fca767
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RE: Rude?

Tue Oct 04, 2011 8:59 pm

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 5):
Funny story, well not really funny but I had a similar thing happen to me. At my college, there was a guy that I knew of and who knew of me, that was the extent of our relationship. My girlfriend said that at some party, he mentioned that he hated me and there was something about me I didn't like. What!? Completely out of the blue. I thought about keying this car, but I realized that was stupid, childish, and morally wrong (but man was I pissed!) Next semester I ended up working for him (we went to a military college and I was his direct subordinate) and he mentioned to her later that I wasn't bad and that he liked me, and we became good friends.

Come to find out much later, that his roommate at the time of him hating me liked my girlfriend and he was just trash talking me in an attempt to break us up and hook his roommate up with my girlfriend. I felt better knowing that it wasn't anything personal, and I was glad to actually know the reason. Terrible thing to do though!

That isn't good to break up your relationship...I'm sure my guy was just being annoying because I've never been near that girl  
 
Fly2HMO
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RE: Rude?

Tue Oct 04, 2011 10:08 pm

Quoting DeltaMD90 (Reply 1):
There has been an influx of haters on a.net lately too.
Quoting fca767 (Thread starter):
I later asked him why he thinks that, and couldn't come up with an answer

Dude, you really need to chill out. I've followed too many of your "dear Dr a.net" threads and you really need to work on NOT worrying so much about what other people think about you. Stop being so self conscious. I say this with all due respect.
 
lewis
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RE: Rude?

Tue Oct 04, 2011 10:39 pm

I would tell him to watch his attitude unless:
-You are his subordinate
and
-He was obviously trying to make a bad joke.

I am not very tolerant of haters, people that are out there to make someone feel bad and degrade their work for no reason.
 
flymia
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RE: Rude?

Tue Oct 04, 2011 10:41 pm

Quoting fca767 (Thread starter):
he said "did you prepare these" I said "yes" he said "so they're going to be wrong then"

This sounds like something I would say to friends all the time. Maybe it was sarcasm?
"It was just four of us on the flight deck, trying to do our job" (Captain Al Haynes)
 
kiwiinoz
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RE: Rude?

Wed Oct 05, 2011 2:53 am

Quoting Fly2HMO (Reply 7):
Dude, you really need to chill out. I've followed too many of your "dear Dr a.net" threads and you really need to work on NOT worrying so much about what other people think about you. Stop being so self conscious. I say this with all due respect.

Although I haven't seen the previous threads, I agree with this. I know in office environments where I come from, this kind of workplace banter/ribbing goes on constantly. It's really nothing
 
AR385
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RE: Rude?

Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:22 am

You had two choices here.

1) Do something about it, but since you did not do anything about it, then your next choice is

2) Forget about it because:

Quoting Fly2HMO (Reply 7):
Dude, you really need to chill out. I've followed too many of your "dear Dr a.net" threads and you really need to work on NOT worrying so much about what other people think about you. Stop being so self conscious. I say this with all due respect.

     

Personally, I would have one with 1. I would have asked him: "Come again?" in a rather serious tone. And if he said the same thing again, I would in no uncertain terms tell him to keep those comments to himself, as he is not your friend, you have no personal relationship with him, and you come to work to WORK, not joke, use sarcasm or play around. In every environment you will find jerks and haters, nobody is going to come and make them or anybody else for that matter respect you. It´s up to you to get others to respect you, in whichever environment, but SPECIALLY in an office/work environment.

Joking in a work environment, no matter how innocent, can land you in trouble pretty fast. In this PC world nowadays you never know who is going to be offended by something you meant as a "joke" and there are a lot of pretty overly sensitive or bitter people out there. So, better to leave the jokes or sarcastic comments at home.

Of course, it is another story if the guy is part of your team and you´ve been officemates for a while, you´ve shared a beer after work a few times, etc.

[Edited 2011-10-04 23:34:12]
 
runner13
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RE: Rude?

Wed Oct 05, 2011 6:59 am

I have never worked in an office setting, and would probably kill myself or someone else if I did. I hear all about office politics from my wife and it drives me crazy just hearing about all the BS. Apparently there is a guy she works with that is a real brown noser to the manager. She asked him to do a project he knew he couldn't do but said yes to do it. He kept asking my wife what to do every 5 seconds, while she had huge accounts like Boeing, Airbus, and Delta that she was working on (shes in insurance) at the time. After the 5th question she started telling him the exact opposite of what he should do. Well he had to redo the project and never asked my wife for help again. If I were you I would just relax and give him a dose of his own medicine. I'm in aviation and if I got upset at every little thing a coworker said to me I would never make it.
 
runner13
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RE: Rude?

Wed Oct 05, 2011 7:07 am

Quoting AR385 (Reply 11):
Dude, you really need to chill out. I've followed too many of your "dear Dr a.net" threads and you really need to work on NOT worrying so much about what other people think about you. Stop being so self conscious. I say this with all due respect.

I've just browsed thru them also, and damn man, take a drink, go get laid and relax. Your going to have an anurism if your not careful. I work with a guy who is 30 and already on blood pressure medicine. He says he's not high strung really??? Only worry about yourself, and forget what anyone else thinks unless they are family or close friends, even then take it with a grain of salt. Only you know what's best for you.
 
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HAWK21M
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RE: Rude?

Wed Oct 05, 2011 9:57 am

There are people in this world that are so Insecure & negative that they hate people who try to be positive.....So its not against any particular individual...its a problem with them......

Best is to ignore them & focus on the positives.....If it gets overboard give the person a few straight words & move on  
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
MEA-707
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RE: Rude?

Wed Oct 05, 2011 10:08 am

It seems like 'office humor' ... when I worked at Dutch railway finance we made these sort of snappy remarks all day...
Whenever I went to the work floor to pick up invoices my collegues warned I should get my rabies shots first... or found a note I had to call Mr The Bear or Mrs the Lion (common names in Dutch actually) back with the phonenumber which appeared to be from the Amsterdam zoo. A woman with a basket of fruit on her desk saw the fruit replaced with potatoes and lettuce when she came back after lunch. I wouldn't give it too much thought.
nobody has ever died from hard work, but why take the risk?
 
Charlienoble
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RE: Rude?

Wed Oct 05, 2011 10:59 am

Quoting fca767 (Thread starter):
I was at work and took some papers to be scanned downstairs...he said "did you prepare these" I said "yes" he said "so they're going to be wrong then"

Really sounds like a poorly executed joke. You should have told him "that's why I put YOUR name on them" or something like that.

Men generally dick around with each other in the work environment. Don't be that guy who takes everything personally, give a little bit back with a smile and you will be respected.
"When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story."- Barney Stinson
 
soon7x7
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RE: Rude?

Thu Oct 06, 2011 3:33 am

Quoting fca767 (Thread starter):

Empty barrels make the most noise!...don't worry about it...live on.   
 
NASCARAirforce
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RE: Rude?

Thu Oct 06, 2011 5:18 am

Quoting fca767 (Reply 2):
Thanks, strangely enough his girlfriend (I presume as they arrive together) was friendly after i left him to get something from her desk, after I said sorry for messing the table...so it's strange if he is horrible as she's super friendly. but anyway, I don't know why but I can't tell if something is harmless banter, because I know coming from a friend is ok if you're joking but he doesn't even know my name and saw me once.

Maybe she is tired of him because he is a dick to her also and wants you. I'd make a make a move on her.
 
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HAWK21M
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RE: Rude?

Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:27 am

In work places there will always be the insecure/negative/depressed individual who always sees anothers happiness or gain as their loss.....Thats their personality....you cant improve that without putting in a lot of effort & why would you.....Better to focus on the positives as people with negative attitudes are generally hated & isolated in the end.

On the contarary Positive people are more liked & friendlier people are often wanted in groups.Be the one that people like & you'll never be alone anytime in a group.....

Be humble,speak about someone as if they are standing besides you & you will be happy.....If someone tries to make you feel bad...pity that person & smile on...If needed give a sarcastic reply in a joke mode & laugh it out.
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
Type-Rated
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RE: Rude?

Wed Oct 12, 2011 6:56 pm

I think he is just your everyday garden variety smart ass. There are tons of them out there. Personally, I find them annoying. But they are pretty much easily ignored. If you wanted to put him on the spot you could have responded with "I would like an explanation as to why you would make a comment like that" Usually these kind will be more respectful in the future.
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