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DocLightning
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Crazy Headlines Thread

Mon Mar 26, 2012 7:01 pm

You can't make this up:

"Medical marijuana delivery man attacked by ninjas"

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/articl...2/03/26/state/n070114D35.DTL&tsp=1

Quote:
West Covina police say two people in ninja costumes robbed a medical marijuana delivery man but it's not clear how much money or marijuana was taken.

Seen any good ones lately?

(Best response to the article on SFGate: "Legalize it and the ninja problem will go away")  
-Doc Lightning-

"The sky calls to us. If we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars."
-Carl Sagan
 
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Dreadnought
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Mon Mar 26, 2012 7:17 pm

Oh god, tons of em...

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - W. Churchill
 
aloges
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Mon Mar 26, 2012 7:32 pm

I think this belongs here:

The Daily Mail Song by Dan and Dan

 
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
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TupolevTu154
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Mon Mar 26, 2012 8:10 pm

Ones that come to mind from my local newspaper;

"Window left open in bad weather"
"Cat saved from treetop ordeal"
"Thieves head off with hats"
"Hand stuck in box"
"Woman trapped in toilet and two year old stuck in bedroom"

The last four were all in the same issue.
 
AzoresLover
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Mon Mar 26, 2012 8:18 pm

Quite a few years ago now, there was a national story about a study that showed that suicide is a public health menace, done by one of the national health programs. Our local paper obviously felt that this was a very important story, and in big black print spanning the entire width of the page, was the headline:

"SUICIDE PUBIC HEALTH MENACE"
Those who want to do something will find a way; those who don't will find an excuse.
 
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Dreadnought
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Mon Mar 26, 2012 8:20 pm

Quoting AzoresLover (Reply 4):
"SUICIDE PUBIC HEALTH MENACE"

Unless you live somewhere where everyone lives in high-rise apartments and you have a lot of pedestrian traffic, and the predominant method of suicide is jumping out of windows, I have a hard time understanding how suicide can be a public health hazard...
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - W. Churchill
 
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DocLightning
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Mon Mar 26, 2012 8:52 pm

Quoting Dreadnought (Reply 5):
I have a hard time understanding how suicide can be a public health hazard...

In at least one historical kingdom, suicide was punishable by...

...death.

*shrug*
-Doc Lightning-

"The sky calls to us. If we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars."
-Carl Sagan
 
aloges
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Mon Mar 26, 2012 9:36 pm

Quoting Dreadnought (Reply 5):
I have a hard time understanding how suicide can be a public health hazard...

You might want to take a second and closer look at the headline.  
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
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DocLightning
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Mon Mar 26, 2012 9:50 pm

Quoting aloges (Reply 7):

You might want to take a second and closer look at the headline.  
-Doc Lightning-

"The sky calls to us. If we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars."
-Carl Sagan
 
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Dreadnought
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Mon Mar 26, 2012 11:14 pm

Quoting aloges (Reply 7):
You might want to take a second and closer look at the headline.
You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - W. Churchill
 
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hOMSaR
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Tue Mar 27, 2012 1:31 am

Saw this headline on the Yahoo front page a year or so back: "Wikileaks suspect may of had help"
The plural of Airbus is Airbuses. Airbii is not a word.
There is no 787-800, nor 787-900 or 747-800. It's 787-8, 787-9, and 747-8.
A321neoLR is also unnecessary. It's simply A321LR.
Airplanes don't have isles, they have aisles.
 
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DocLightning
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Tue Mar 27, 2012 5:52 am

Here's a good one:

Minn. school quashes senior's porn-star prom date

http://content.usatoday.com/communit...g-porn-star-to-prom/1#.T3FVCuwUF38

Quote:
A Minnesota school district has quashed a high school's senior plan to bring a porn star to his senior prom.

Mike Stone, 18, had tweeted hundreds of porn actresses with an invitation to the Tartan High School prom May 12 until adult film star Megan Piper accepted his proposal.

Piper tells KSTP-TV's Mark Saxenmeyer that she missed her own prom and couldn't turn down Stone's invitation.

"It was a sweet gesture. It was so cute. I couldn't say no," she tells the Twin Cities TV station.
-Doc Lightning-

"The sky calls to us. If we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars."
-Carl Sagan
 
PHX787
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Tue Mar 27, 2012 6:41 am

Quoting Dreadnought (Reply 1):
Fish need water, feds say.


lol  
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zckls04
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:40 pm

I often spot these and email them to my colleagues. I did a quick email search and came up with:

"Man arrested over Saddam's buttock" - Yahoo News
"S.C. man on probation for horse sex has sex with same horse again" - NY Daily News
"60-foot penis painted on roof" - BBC News
"World record sandwich? Iranians eat evidence" - Reuters
"Pants not worth $54 million" - Yahoo News

Plus, a couple of the least interesting stories in history:

"Paxman 'fond of housework'" - ITN News
"Report: Colorado Remains Nation's No. 15 Dairy State" - Denver Business Journal
"Delta Airlines Coke or Pepsi Dilemma Still Unresolved" - BNET.com
Four Granavox Turbines!
 
 
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DocLightning
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Wed Mar 28, 2012 7:24 pm

Sorry, but I can't seem to link to the above article...
-Doc Lightning-

"The sky calls to us. If we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars."
-Carl Sagan
 
Quokkas
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:18 am

Some old favourites from the UK -

The Sun, "Freddie Star Ate My Hamster"
The Sun, "Elton Takes David Up The Aisle" (double-entendre from the Sun?)

Of historical interest:
The Daily Mail: Hurrah for the Blackshirts!"

And the prize for what may be the longest ever headline:
The Scottish Daily Record, "I kicked a terrorist so hard in the balls that I tore a tendon in my foot."

[Edited 2012-03-28 19:41:47]
“Not to laugh, not to cry, not to hate, but understand.” Spinoza
 
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mad99
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Thu Mar 29, 2012 12:05 pm

Millbrand forced to hand job to Balls
 
skywatch
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:02 pm

Found this jewel on CNN one day... there's a reason I have converted to the BBC.

------Forever Watchin' The Sky------
 
flipdewaf
Posts: 1594
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:05 pm

Who can forget the time when Michael Foot was put in charge of a nuclear disarmament committee prompting the times to run the headline "Foot Heads Arms Body"

Fred
Image
 
ajd1992
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Thu Mar 29, 2012 4:46 pm



This was my favourite. How stupid do they think people are?
 
Braniff747SP
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Thu Mar 29, 2012 4:49 pm

Quoting ajd1992 (Reply 20):


This was my favourite. How stupid do they think people are?

Well, the headline is for people that read the Post, so...

 
The 747 will always be the TRUE queen of the skies!
 
tz757300
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Thu Mar 29, 2012 4:54 pm

This was in the local paper at school. Quite hilarious.

LETS GO MOUNTAINEERS!
 
Braniff747SP
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:36 pm

Quoting tz757300 (Reply 22):

The interesting thing in that article is the place name- Punxsutawney? Now that's a complicated name...
The 747 will always be the TRUE queen of the skies!
 
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DocLightning
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Thu Mar 29, 2012 6:11 pm

Quoting Quokkas (Reply 16):
(double-entendre from the Sun?)

The SUN? Oh, they would *never*...  
Quoting ajd1992 (Reply 20):
This was my favourite. How stupid do they think people are?

I dunno, but the NY Post is famous for ridiculous headlines. They were the ones who pulled off the "Osama Bin Wankin" headline, with the "Debbie Does Abottabad" and "It's Whora Bora!" subtexts.
-Doc Lightning-

"The sky calls to us. If we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars."
-Carl Sagan
 
PHX787
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:32 pm

Quoting skywatch (Reply 18):
Found this jewel on CNN one day... there's a reason I have converted to the BBC.

LOL Who even watches CNN these days   
Follow me on twitter: www.twitter.com/phx787
 
aloges
Posts: 14842
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:56 pm

Quoting skywatch (Reply 18):
Found this jewel on CNN one day...

Without a doubt, it was under the command of Captain Obvious.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
 
4holer
Posts: 2733
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RE: Crazy Headlines Thread

Thu Mar 29, 2012 8:24 pm

A couple of election campaigns ago, the Pittsburgh newspaper declared that "Some Women Like Bush".
Can't find the original, but found reference to it in the same paper...
http://news.google.com/newspapers?ni...&sjid=t28DAAAAIBAJ&pg=1737,6948392
Ghosts appear and fade away.....................

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