Ps76
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Ever Had Inlaws Who Hate Spending Time With You?

Sat Jun 02, 2012 9:43 pm

Hi!

I don't intend for this thread to be too serious but just wanted to ask if anyone else here has had such an experience. Basically my brother's wife thinks my family is like total losers and tries to spend as little time as possible with us. For example this weekend they drove the 3 hour trip over to spend like 4 days with her family and spent about 4 hours with us. This is very typical. In fact 4 hours proved a bit long so they cut it down to 3 and a half. And my bro seems happy to go along with it as I think he thinks her family is much cooler too. And when she is here she barely says a word to me, I always have to initiate the conversation and then she cuts it off. I know in the grand scheme of things this in not the World's biggest problem but I just wish I had a sister in law who was a bit more friendly and didn't look at us like we're rodents or something.

Anyone else have a similar experience or something related?

Many thanks,

Pierre
 
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ManuCH
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RE: Ever Had Inlaws Who Hate Spending Time With You?

Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:11 pm

I think that's actually a classic. I've seen more families where inlaws don't like each other, than the opposite.

I hardly spend any time with inlaws at all. It's not that we hate each other, but we simply are too different, and don't have anything in common at all.
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Bongodog1964
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RE: Ever Had Inlaws Who Hate Spending Time With You?

Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:50 pm

I wish my mother in law had only ever spent 3 hours with us !!!
 
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RE: Ever Had Inlaws Who Hate Spending Time With You?

Sun Jun 03, 2012 3:48 am

Consider yourself fortunate. You are probably better off without them.

If they don't like your family just think of what is going through their minds when they are sitting there smiling at you. Nothing you can do can change the way they think.
Fly North Central Airlines..The route of the Northliners!
 
Max Q
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RE: Ever Had Inlaws Who Hate Spending Time With You?

Sun Jun 03, 2012 5:04 am

Yes, and the feeling was mutual..
The best contribution to safety is a competent Pilot.
 
jwhite9185
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RE: Ever Had Inlaws Who Hate Spending Time With You?

Sun Jun 03, 2012 11:25 am

Quoting Max Q (Reply 4):

Same here... Although they're not a problem anymore (and I'm not a problem to them either) so its all good.
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babybus
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RE: Ever Had Inlaws Who Hate Spending Time With You?

Sun Jun 03, 2012 1:21 pm

That thing of 'my family are wonderful and your family are just scumbags' is a control device. You should tell your brother not to go along with it.

Anyway, why should you think you need to be friends with your brothers wife and her family? I would just let them get on with it. Maybe you and your brother could go to a football match together or something instead for some quality family time.

I've never liked my sisters' partners. Why should I. I'm nice to them but never make a big fuss of them.
and with that..cabin crew, seats for landing please.
 
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RE: Ever Had Inlaws Who Hate Spending Time With You?

Mon Jun 04, 2012 7:17 am

Quoting babybus (Reply 6):
Maybe you and your brother could go to a football match together or something instead for some quality family time.

Because if you spend anytime with your brother his wife will bitch and moan at him about it. BB, you are right this is a control issue. I've seen this before with families over and over again.
Fly North Central Airlines..The route of the Northliners!
 
Ps76
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RE: Ever Had Inlaws Who Hate Spending Time With You?

Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:48 pm

Hi!

Many thanks for the replies. I think I will just hang out with my brother more. He's a good guy. Maybe it's also like you said we have nothing in common. I mean my bro's wife is not really into engineering or film music!

Many thanks,

Pierre
 
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HAWK21M
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RE: Ever Had Inlaws Who Hate Spending Time With You?

Thu Jun 07, 2012 9:57 am

Look at it this way.....If Someone does not choose to talk to your family & your family is actually ok.Then that person would struggle with others too.
If your bro's wife hates spending time with you folks,at least your bro should have spent a lot more time with your family instead.
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)
 
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Aesma
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RE: Ever Had Inlaws Who Hate Spending Time With You?

Thu Jun 07, 2012 10:36 am

You talked here about being Assyrian I think and wanting to save your people by marrying into your people, so maybe that's part of the problem ?

A cousin of mine married a Tunisian, but for the first years of her relationship with him her father wouldn't see him, much less his family, because of racist preconceptions.
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BrouAviation
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RE: Ever Had Inlaws Who Hate Spending Time With You?

Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:39 am

I am happy to have the best inlaws I could wish for, we get along very well. Also, the partners of my sisters-in-law and I get along very well as well. In fact, I just returned from a vacation with the whole family in law including partners and it was one of the best vacations in my life until now.

Especially when the relationship with your own family isn't perfect, having a good relationship with your inlaws can be a real blessing and adds a nice dimension to your relationship.

Quoting ManuCH (Reply 1):
I think that's actually a classic. I've seen more families where inlaws don't like each other, than the opposite.

Well. the classic version is the one of the male not getting along with his mother in law, whereas without exception all the people I know who don't get along with their mother in law, are females! Mothers tend to interfere with their son's relationship more than they do with their daughters'..

[Edited 2012-06-07 04:43:16]

[Edited 2012-06-07 04:44:20]
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Ps76
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RE: Ever Had Inlaws Who Hate Spending Time With You?

Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:39 pm

Hi!

Thanks for the replies. Interesting to hear people's thoughts. We don't really see much of each other anyway so I guess it's not too bad a problem. My mum seems to like my sister in law though which is good and she doesn't interfere at all. I guess they kinda have their own thing going on and maybe I should try and do the same.

Thanks.

Pierre
 
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HAWK21M
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RE: Ever Had Inlaws Who Hate Spending Time With You?

Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:40 am

Whats in our control is to be positive,cheerfull & ready to smile.Those that deserve such will appreciate it....The rest have a problem with themselves....
I may not win often, but I damn well never lose!!! ;)

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