RussianJet
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A Painful Toilet Incident!

Tue Jul 16, 2013 8:58 pm

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-n...nake-bites-mans-penis-sits-2056830

A cautionary tale from Israel. I'll be checking under the seat from now on, even though we hardly have any snakes here in the UK!
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TSS
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Tue Jul 16, 2013 10:01 pm

Reason enough for the default position of a toilet seat to be up, not down. Ladies who complain about the toilet seat being left in the up position, you have now officially lost your case and will henceforth be required to lower the toilet seat yourself before sitting down and to return said toilet seat to it's full upright position before exiting the restroom.
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SOBHI51
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Tue Jul 16, 2013 10:29 pm

Good news it was not a Palestinian viper otherwise this would have resulted in more land grabbing  
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Tue Jul 16, 2013 10:35 pm

Quoting TSS (Reply 1):
Reason enough for the default position of a toilet seat to be up, not down. Ladies who complain about the toilet seat being left in the up position, you have now officially lost your case and will henceforth be required to lower the toilet seat yourself before sitting down and to return said toilet seat to it's full upright position before exiting the restroom.

Why can't women just look first to see what position the seat is in? Most of the women that complain about this can tell you stories about a overnight pit stop where they have fallen in the toilet because the seat was up. Why didn't they just look first?

Maybe the guy in the story could do a flush first before sitting down to get rid of any reptiles first?

I know a number of people who have said that this type of incident is one of their biggest fears!
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RussianJet
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Tue Jul 16, 2013 11:15 pm

Quoting TSS (Reply 1):
Reason enough for the default position of a toilet seat to be up, not down.

An excellent point. The next time I get such a complaint, this defence will be used.
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OA260
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Tue Jul 16, 2013 11:16 pm

Quoting SOBHI51 (Reply 2):
Good news it was not a Palestinian viper otherwise this would have resulted in more land grabbing  

        
 
sw733
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Wed Jul 17, 2013 1:59 am

Quoting type-rated (Reply 3):
Why can't women just look first to see what position the seat is in?

They're simply not smart enough  
 
PanHAM
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Wed Jul 17, 2013 6:10 am

The name of that medical center in Haifa is priceless, "RamBam Medical Center".

 
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RussianJet
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Wed Jul 17, 2013 7:20 am

Do you suppose that RamBam has a genital snakebite unit? On a more sensible note, I wonder how often this sort of thing really happens. I have a friend who recounted a tale of how his father was once about to pull on his underwear in the bathroom and luckily at the last moment noticed that there was a scorpion sat inside them! Eek.
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dc9northwest
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Wed Jul 17, 2013 8:51 am

A snake bit the trouser snake... Snake cannibalism should be punished with a good flush down the toilet.

Besides, it wasn't venomous... No harm done, but perhaps it'll be a more pressing task for the man to look at what he's doing. And what he's doing it on.
 
j.mo
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Wed Jul 17, 2013 4:48 pm

This story makes me think of the SNL skit with Jimmy Fallon when his partner gets bit on the junk by a snake. They pull out a medical book to see waht needs to be done.

#1) Suck the venom from the bite.  

MO
 
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Revelation
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Thu Jul 18, 2013 6:40 am

All this reminds me of the classic Frank Zappa song, Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?

Quote:

Why does it hurt when I pee?
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I don't want no doctor
To stick no needle in me
Why does it hurt when I pee?
I got it from the toilet seat
I got it from the toilet seat
It jumped right up
N grabbed my meat
Got it from the toilet seat
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Oh God I probably got the
Gon-o-ka-ka-khackus!
My balls feel like a pair of maracas
Ai-ee-ai-ee-ahhhh!
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it
Why does it hurt...when i
Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

Ahh, sing it, Ike Willis!

Quoting TSS (Reply 1):
Ladies who complain about the toilet seat being left in the up position, you have now officially lost your case and will henceforth be required to lower the toilet seat yourself before sitting down and to return said toilet seat to it's full upright position before exiting the restroom.

Said ladies will blame the nearest male for the presence of the snake regardless of the seat position. Damn it man, haven't you realized it yet that regardless of the situation, any problem is the man's fault?

Quoting RussianJet (Reply 8):
Do you suppose that RamBam has a genital snakebite unit?

Seems they may also have a specialty in rectal issues?

Quoting j.mo (Reply 10):
This story makes me think of the SNL skit with Jimmy Fallon when his partner gets bit on the junk by a snake. They pull out a medical book to see waht needs to be done.

#1) Suck the venom from the bite.

That particular joke certainly predates Jimmy Fallon.
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j.mo
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Thu Jul 18, 2013 6:17 pm

Quoting Revelation (Reply 11):
That particular joke certainly predates Jimmy Fallon.

You sure live up to your name. Didn't say it was original material, just said it reminded me of a skit....I guess I should have researched the origins. My bad.

JM
 
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Sun Jul 21, 2013 3:28 pm

Quoting j.mo (Reply 12):
My bad.

Not at all - I really meant nothing by the comment...
Inspiration, move me brightly! Light the song with sense and color.
Hold away despair, more than this I will not ask.
Faced with mysteries dark and vast, statements just seem vain at last.
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Speedbirdie
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Sun Jul 21, 2013 11:57 pm

Considering all you men seem to have the worst aim when it comes to using a toilet, it really is not difficult to just put the damn thing that you have just pissed all over down and then wash your hands. It saves us women having to touch your disgustiness (yes I just made that word up) even more. It is really not that difficult..
Quit ya bitching and keep your women happy!

oh wait.. this is a.net..

:D
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Mon Jul 22, 2013 7:18 pm

Quoting Speedbirdie (Reply 14):
keep your women happy

You ask for the impossible!  
Inspiration, move me brightly! Light the song with sense and color.
Hold away despair, more than this I will not ask.
Faced with mysteries dark and vast, statements just seem vain at last.
Some rise, some fall, some climb, to get to Terrapin!
 
cptkrell
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RE: A Painful Toilet Incident!

Mon Jul 22, 2013 7:48 pm

Down here in the holler, the joke goes like this when one guy gets bit on the unit by a rattler out in the middle of nowhere...
Guy #1: "Use the forest ranger phone and ask what I should do!"
Guy#2 gets on the emergency phone and the meds at the ranger office say "Cut a small incision and suck the venom out."
Guy#1 asks "What did the doctor say?"
Guy#2 sez "The doctor said you gonna die."

BTW, "getting it from the turlet seat" (Archie Bunker's pronunciation):;
"Doctor, can I get a case of VD from a public toilet?"
"Yes, my dear, you can. I highly suggest you stop screwing in public toilets."

Maybe lame, but I need a li'l bit of brevity, particularly with this subject. all best...jack
all best; jack

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