aussie_
Posts: 1600
Joined: Mon Dec 11, 2000 10:39 am

A Bit Of Harmless AirNZ Humour

Wed Sep 19, 2001 4:59 pm

I know it's serious and I am one of many seriously inconvenienced by the Air NZ/Ansett debacle.

However I think a little harmless humour (no harm intended at all) might get a smile on all our faces again.

This is my (poor) attempt. I'd love to see some more.


Baa baa black sheep (Air NZ), have you any wool?

Yes sir, yes sir, 3 bags full (bag 1: Ansett spare parts bag 2: Ansett engines and bag 3: several million dollars).

One for the directors ($$$),
One for the planes (spare parts)
And one to hide in the maintenance hangers at Christchurch airport (engines).
 
The Coachman
Posts: 1192
Joined: Sun Apr 29, 2001 9:57 pm

RE: A Bit Of Harmless AirNZ Humour

Wed Sep 19, 2001 5:07 pm

Baa baa white sheep (white NZ livery), have you any fuel? (AN paid for NZ fuel)

No sir, No sir, we're too cruel.

One for Gaz Toomey

One for Koru

and One for the destruction of the books and records of AN, you fool.

The Coachman
M88, 722, 732, 733, 734, 73G, 73H, 742, 743, 744, 752, 762, 763, 772, 773, 77W, 320, 332, 333, 345, 388, DH8, SF3 - want
 
doug_or
Posts: 3138
Joined: Sat Mar 18, 2000 9:55 am

RE: A Bit Of Harmless AirNZ Humour

Wed Sep 19, 2001 5:20 pm

LOL!!!!!!! oh well, at least its not quite as bad as Lorenzo...
When in doubt, one B pump off
 
Kiwi dave
Posts: 893
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2000 7:50 pm

RE: A Bit Of Harmless AirNZ Humour

Wed Sep 19, 2001 6:45 pm

very funny
 
go canada!
Posts: 2886
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2001 1:33 am

RE: A Bit Of Harmless AirNZ Humour

Wed Sep 19, 2001 9:27 pm

Nurse:doctor doctor, its the new intake, we dont know what to do..

doctor:its bleeding blood, its seeping out money, i dont know what to do.

Nurse: doctor, why dont you call singapore thats the normal position...

doctor: its terminal its needs to putting down, quickly, get me my injections

Nurse: but doctor singapore can save it...

Singapore:da da its super singapore to the save the day...

Nurse: oh singapore my hero

Doctor..nurse if we let this happen our position will be undermined, quick lets ring sydney and they can save us.

Sydney: is that new zealand? Ok we coming over...

Syndey arrives at the scence, looks of disgust from singapore.

Syndey:whats the problem, nurse, what would you like us to do?

nurse:oh we dont need you anymore.sorry.
Syndey:why on earth not, we can save you and the doctor.
Doctor:no we will lose tourists if you help, super singapores our saviour.

Syndey:fine sod you, dont come crying when it all falls apart.syndey exits the scence.

nurse:Singapore, our saviour, help us with the patient.
Super singapore:I will do, but let me know how bad it is.
Nurse and doctor:save it first, then we will tell you.

Singapore:i need to know whats worng.
Nurse:no, shows us the money first.
Nurse and doctor:shows us the money!
Nurse and doctor:shows us the money!
Nurse and doctor:shows us the money!
Singapore:not until i know how bad it is.

enter Dicky B:doctor, i can help, i have a new hosptial next door i can save the patient.

Nurse:how about you let us buy your hospital and we will think about it.

dicky B:how about i come over and give up a hiding.
NursE:thats not fair, we need your hosptial, sell us your hospital or the patient gets it.
Dicky B:no let me treat the patient.

Nurse and doctor:sinagpore!help us singapore!Dicky B wont sell his hospital.

singapore:im not making him do anything, im only marired to him-what do I know?

singapore:give me part control of your hospital and ill save the patient for you, and ill arrange dicky b to merge his hospital with this one.

Nurse:i wanna be in control.Doctor: me too!

Super singapore:take it or leave it.

Nurse: fine, we will leave it, doctor, lets get the chainsaw.

Nurse and doctor ring up syndey.

Sydney:what do you want now?
Doctor:sydney, singapores been horrible and dicky b wont sell us his hosptial, please help us save the patient, you can have it, just save us.

Sydney:im on my way.
Sydney arrives back at the hospital:my god, the patients worse, we will help, tell me how bad it is.

Doctor tells Sydney how bad it is.

Sydney: i dont know now, ill ring Daddy BA, he will know what to do.
Sydney: Daddy BA, please help, i have found a new patient to save, but it will cost a billion, i dont know if i can afford it.

Daddy BA:too bloody right, dont touch it baby Sydney, we dont need any more patients, we already have iberia and might be saving aer lingus, we dont need any more sick people, besides you arent too perky yourself and we have a headache.

Sydney:ok Daddy, what ever you say.

Sydney to nurse and doctor:sorry daddy said no.

nurse and doctor:fine, we will drug the patient and throw it out on the streets, someone else can deal with it.

A nurse at PWC hospital walks past, ahh the poor thing, look at it, bless its socks, lets take it to our hospital.

the patient is now in the super new pwc hospital.

meanwhile Mr Baddy Union has been watching this all.

Mr Baddy Union walks into the PWC Hospital:you dont know what your doing, he says with his drunkern ramblings, you cant help it, you saved the last hospital, it doesnt need you, we will save it.

PWC:you dont know what your doing.

Mr baddy union picks up the patient and runds off with him to the Anderson hospital.

the end.

The patient is ansett, the nurse is helen clark, the doctor is gary toomey, sydeny is qantas, dicky b is Richard branson and virgin blue, super singapore is singapore airlines, pwc is price waterhosue coppers and anderson are the new saviours.

he he he he he








It is amazing what can be accomplised when nobody takes the credit
 
User avatar
BNE
Posts: 2922
Joined: Fri Mar 31, 2000 9:37 pm

RE: A Bit Of Harmless AirNZ Humour

Wed Sep 19, 2001 9:36 pm

That is one of the best things you are written Go Canada, did you make this up yourself or did you copy it.
Why fly non stop when you can connect
 
aussie_
Posts: 1600
Joined: Mon Dec 11, 2000 10:39 am

RE: A Bit Of Harmless AirNZ Humour

Wed Sep 19, 2001 9:46 pm

very nice go canada - it also just shows how complicated it has got!!!
 
mandala499
Posts: 6460
Joined: Wed Aug 29, 2001 8:47 pm

RE: A Bit Of Harmless AirNZ Humour

Wed Sep 19, 2001 9:52 pm

You should publish this ! LOL Tooo DAMN GOOD !

Mandala499
When losing situational awareness, pray Cumulus Granitus isn't nearby !
 
SInGAPORE_AIR
Posts: 11619
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2000 4:06 am

RE: A Bit Of Harmless AirNZ Humour

Thu Sep 20, 2001 12:06 am

I am not impressed in the slightest but it was funny. Actually, I love it. You've just given me the basis for a future post! Hoorah!

Kudos Go Canada, and you won't hear me say that for a very long time.
Anyone can fly, only the best Soar.
 
go canada!
Posts: 2886
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2001 1:33 am

RE: A Bit Of Harmless AirNZ Humour

Thu Sep 20, 2001 5:30 am

thank you thank you, i can assure you it is all my own work, i did a very small joke when qantas wanted anz, but nothing like this.

thank you singapore, i might be your airlines number one fan but at least we can play nice when needs be.
It is amazing what can be accomplised when nobody takes the credit
 
QANTASforever
Posts: 5794
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2001 6:03 am

RE: A Bit Of Harmless AirNZ Humour

Thu Sep 20, 2001 6:30 am

Whats the Difference between Bin Laden and Gary Toomey?

One destroys the aviation industry and thosands of lives, and the other has a beard.

(hehe)

Blake
Fighting for the glory of the Australian Republic.
 
go canada!
Posts: 2886
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2001 1:33 am

RE: A Bit Of Harmless AirNZ Humour

Thu Sep 20, 2001 8:17 pm

ohh nasty!

I wouldnt say it was all tommey's fault, he didnt have a choice with helen clarkes ramblings along with jimbo anderson.
It is amazing what can be accomplised when nobody takes the credit
 
QANTASforever
Posts: 5794
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2001 6:03 am

RE: A Bit Of Harmless AirNZ Humour

Fri Sep 21, 2001 6:38 am

I know, but a good joke none the less I think.
Fighting for the glory of the Australian Republic.
 
SInGAPORE_AIR
Posts: 11619
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2000 4:06 am

RE: A Bit Of Harmless AirNZ Humour

Fri Sep 21, 2001 6:56 am

Go Canada: hehe  Smile/happy/getting dizzy Yeah well, a joke is a joke. But hard business is business! See ya
Anyone can fly, only the best Soar.

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