Recently I've been wondering why certain contributors to airliners.net are such die-hard United fans. I mean, United are a big but thoroughly mediocre airline and I can't understand the level of devotion. I've flown with them many times and never had a bad experience (in fact never ever left late or anything), but the food is so-so, the flight attendents are somewhere between Olympic (ie awful) and Virgin (ie fab), their US domestic network is admittedly comprehensive and they've got good coverage on the northern Pacific...I kind of like UAL and I'm sure I'll fly with them many times in the future, but I find it hard to get excited over them. They're just SO AVERAGE in every way. Anyway, I was wondering how they managed to pick up so many hysterical fans and these were my theories til now:
Food additives? possible, given the toxic levels of crap found in most airline food. I dismissed this possibility cos most UAL domestic catering amounts to crackers and things, not enough bulk to sustain a bird, let alone hide a serum that would turn a planeload into drooling United fans (and by drooling I mean in a religious frenzy - actually they're just drooling from hunger).
Altitude sickness? I know that the cabin air on 744/757/767/777s isn't circulated half as often on the old 727/737/741-2s and DC10s, so maybe people go into a euphoric state of hypoxia cos of the lack of breathable air? A bit like getting stoned but without the frisson of illicit activity? Hey, where's the nearest ticket office?
Subliminal messages in the inflight entertainment programme? You know, like those backwards messages on Marilyn Manson records that make normal and balanced teenagers go on shooting sprees? I wouldn't want to meet an armed UAL fanatic in a dark alley if I was wearing my old Pan Am uniform. Trouble with this theory is that the overt content of those channels is so banal that any listener would mentally reject the subliminal message as quickly as they reject the interview with the Postmaster General or the President of the International Hamster Society or whoever nobody is being interviewed that month.
So as you can see, I have considered every possibility as to the source of this brainwashing. And I've decided that it is in fact none of the above, it's AIRLINERS.NET itself, just look at the background navy-and-black-striped pattern behind the main list of post subjects. I'm weeping for the future that is in store for all of us, cos I know it's only a matter of time before I forget my beloved Pan Am, MEA, Virgin, Emirates and Cathay, and become obsessed with defending crap food, crap inflight service, and that stupid "Worldwide Service" slogan which is SO not true. But then again, I looove those orange red and blue pinstripes, and when people say "World" they don't really include Africa or the Middle East anyway...AAARGH IT'S STARTING!!!!!
fly Saha Air 707s daily from Tehran's downtown Mehrabad to Mashhad, Kish Island and Ahwaz