VFR = Very ******* Risky, a style of flying trying to dodge clouds, and mountains all at the same time!
IFR = Incredibly ******* Risky, flying in the clouds trying to dodge mountains!
BFR = Biannual Flight Review. This is where pilots fly with an instructor, they usually enjoy this, as very seldom do people go flying with them.
HH = Happy Hardcore (type of techno music) from my research the stereotypical pilot likes music, and considered accounting as a career!!
FS - Flight Simulator, basically a bunch of kids (with cult like qualities) teaching themselves how to fly a airliners on there home computer.
ETOPS - Engine Turns Or Passnegers Swim. Some twin procedure when you fly over oceans it limits the distance they can fly from a suitable runway. They do this to ensure passengers only have to swim a max of 300-400 miles if you ditch in the water!
ATP = Airline Transport Pilot, some very poor (financially) person, but with a couple log books!
CFI = Certified Flight Instructor, a very well educated person that says 'Whatch your Altitude'
CRM = Crew resouce management. A method the airline adopts to ensure everyone gives the same reason for delays.
POH = Pilot Operating handbook. A book cover that some are large enough to hide a playboy in.
ME = Multi Engine (More Ego), just another reason to hang your picture on the wall at the flight school.
WPB = Wobbles per beer, it is very hard to compare brews this is the easiest way to determine if it is any good! Definately something every pilot should know!
FAA = Federal Aviation Administration. This is a secret clan that no outsiders have been able to penetrate. It no longer recruits-member just breed. They exist in impenetrable fortresses call FSDOs (flight safety district offices) scattered across the country and rule their individual egions through fear and intimidation. They exist purely for the pleasure of torturing pilot candidates. They are funded by extraterrestrials.
FAR = Federal Aviation Regulation. Specialy written (and in code) so the FAA can get you. Please see FAA above!
DME = Distance measuring Equipment. Most pilots are guys, need I say more.
GPS = Global Positioning System. This way pilots do not get lost, and look silly when trying to impress girls!
ATC = Air Traffic Control. Some computer guys needed something to do with all those left over vacuum tubes from the TV built in the 50's. So they made these cool machines that look like fridges, but which have these neat little lights that blink all day and night. And they designed other machines with big round glass screens-those look like the front of your mum's old washing machine. People called 'controllers' sit and stare at those screens for hours. To keep from becoming bored, they wear headsets and talk to themselves. Once in a while they are on the radio and try to see how many people they can delay in one day. For your information, the record is 440,000 set by a controller in Muncie, Indiana, who was depressed because he ran over a cat owned by a girl he liked. Turns out he was allergic to
cats. This had him in such a state that he developed a stutter and crippled the ATC system through the Chicago corridor.
Airline CEO = Airline Cheif Operating Officer. Usually millionaires who want a tax dodge, these people sit in air-conditioned offices as far away from the airport as possible. They like to watch money move from one pilot to another. They also like to watch the three stooges episodes and act out the various parts themselves. Sometimes playing all three stooges at once. The worst thing that can happen to them is when a union representative walks through their door. They usually eliminate such unwanted visitors by claiming that anything the union asks for will definitely bankrupt the airline and beside, the employees should just be thankful that they still have jobs without asking for salaries-if they have them-or anything more.
PIC = Pilot in command. On large airliners usually a guy that sits around and easts Peanuts, and drinks Pepsi between naps. The like to tell the FO what they are doing wrong, and how it used to be 'back in the day'. The captains favorite game consists of going on a 4 day trip with $2 for tips and one clean shirt.
Please note I left off FA, this was done purposely as we can not ensure everyone here is over ther age of 18.
Copyright Iain W. E. Holmes IainHolmes.com