milemaster
Posts: 994
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 10:19 am

Tranquilizer Darts

Thu Mar 07, 2002 11:44 am

I have a solution to the air rage problem on this planet. I am so excited about it I've decided to share it with all of you.

Let's talk about Tranquilizer dart guns!

Think about it, airlines assign standard issue dart guns complete with airline's logo's imprinted on the sides. They will rest nicely in monogrammed holsters on every FA, Ticket Agent, and pilot.

Here's a few scenarios:

PAX: "Hi, I fly 3 times a year and I want a free first class upgrade."

Ticket agent: "Sure, no problem."

*THUMP* (That's the sound of a dart gun with a silencer)

PAX: "ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzz"

Problem solved.

So, you all may ask.. "So, what do you do with the pile of sleeping people in front of the ticket counter?"

Ignore them, there are more flights on the schedule they can depart on.
-------

Another scenario:

PAX: "Hi, this coach meal really sucks. I hate you."

FA: "Sir/Ma'am, Welcome to the searing pain of a sedative laced tranquilizer dart."

*THUMP*

PAX: "ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzZZzzzzzzzZZZZ"

Problem also resolved.

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How about this one?

FA: "Ma'am, other passengers are complaining that your children are kicking seats and running up and down the aisles."

PAX: "Don't you tell me how to control my kids! I'll have you know we live in the nicest trailer in our trailerpark!"

*THUMP* followed by *THUMP *THUMP*

"ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ"
"zZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzZZZzzz I hate my mommie."
"ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZzz must..... kick..... more........seats.....zZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz"

It's beautiful how effective this is.

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Okay, final example:

PAX: "Excuse me, I am heinously fat and I demand a first class seat upgrade for the $129.00 fare I paid. I might even accept two coach seats for free. If you don't comply, I will sue your crappy airline."

FA: "Hold on a sec while I set my gun to fully automatic in order to accomlish the task I'm about to have."

*THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP*

PAX: "I'm starting to .... . feel..... a little......sleepy."

FA: "Sigh."

*THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP* *THUMP*

PAX: "ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZzzzz Pfffrt."

------

Write your favorite airline... The future of peaceful skies depends on it!
 
NZ767
Posts: 1553
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2001 9:17 am

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Thu Mar 07, 2002 11:48 am

After reading that, who needs a tranquilizer? j/k
Sorry, couldn't resist! Big grin Big grin Big grin
 
milemaster
Posts: 994
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 10:19 am

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Thu Mar 07, 2002 12:29 pm

 Laugh out loud
 
BWIrwy4
Posts: 877
Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2001 1:41 pm

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Thu Mar 07, 2002 12:58 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
 
Cessnapimp
Posts: 1245
Joined: Sun Oct 07, 2001 11:46 am

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Thu Mar 07, 2002 3:04 pm

Pap: Is this the carrousel for flight 1345? Well I don't see MY luggage and I really don't have time for your cr...

*THUMP*

aaaapzzzzz....

Very funny Milemaster! Thumbs up!  Big thumbs up
 
Guest

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Thu Mar 07, 2002 3:19 pm

funny shit dude
 
milemaster
Posts: 994
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 10:19 am

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Thu Mar 07, 2002 5:24 pm

I could go for hours on this....

How about:

Ticket Agent: "Sir, I apologize, first class is full... We can accomodate you and still get you in coach."

PAX: "This is unacceptable! Do you know who I am?!?!"

Ticket Agent: "Indeed. You're a sleeping idiot who is stuck at this airport until you wake up."

PAX: "Huh? What?"

*THUMP* *THUMP*

PAX "Oh christ, I'm gonna....gonna... ZZzzzzzzzzzzZZz"

Ticket Agent: "Please dispose of this heap of pretentious garbage into the pretentious bastard sleep lounge."
 
L-188
Posts: 29874
Joined: Wed Jul 07, 1999 11:27 am

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Thu Mar 07, 2002 5:51 pm

Only in the movies guys...They only work in the movies.

I have seen enough footage of bear taggings to know this is true.
OBAMA-WORST PRESIDENT EVER....Even SKOORB would be better.
 
milemaster
Posts: 994
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 10:19 am

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Thu Mar 07, 2002 6:57 pm

We're being sarcastic L-188.

This is a funny haha.

Please tell me you realize that.
 
Guest

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Thu Mar 07, 2002 7:36 pm

snowed in or just had too much sugar?
 
milemaster
Posts: 994
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 10:19 am

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Fri Mar 08, 2002 7:04 am

Just trying to lighten some of you people up. It gets a little too hard-core on this forum sometimes.

...if I see one more thread about Airbus vs. Boeing, or another 747 vs. A380 topic......  Pissed
 
Cap'n Dan
Posts: 223
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2001 5:49 am

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Fri Mar 08, 2002 9:38 am

Milemaster you made my day! Usually the jokes around here are painful.
 
User avatar
EA CO AS
Posts: 13397
Joined: Wed Nov 14, 2001 8:54 am

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Fri Mar 08, 2002 10:01 am

Even better...


"What do you MEAN I have to take my shoes off?!? Let me talk to your supervi..."

*THUMP*


"In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem - government IS the problem." - Ronald Reagan

Comments made here are my own and are not intended to represent the official position of Alaska Air Group
 
ExitRow
Posts: 1630
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2001 7:13 am

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Fri Mar 08, 2002 11:18 am

Dumb Guy: "No sir, I had no idea my brother put this toy grenade in my check-in bag."

LAX Security: "Sir, at check in, every ticket agent asks if anyone other than yourself has been in possession of your bags."

Dumb Guy: "Yes, but..."

*THUMP*

 
milemaster
Posts: 994
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 10:19 am

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Fri Mar 08, 2002 1:53 pm

Here is a prototype of the new spoiled passenger control system. Note the sight.





What good would a custom tranquilizer gun be without the proper matching darts?



 
ammunition
Posts: 875
Joined: Sat Feb 16, 2002 6:25 am

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Fri Mar 08, 2002 2:12 pm

LOL  Big thumbs up
Saint Augustine- 'The world is a book and those who do not travel, read only 1 page'
 
milemaster
Posts: 994
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 10:19 am

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Fri Mar 08, 2002 3:43 pm

 Laugh out loud
 
milemaster
Posts: 994
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2001 10:19 am

RE: Tranquilizer Darts

Fri Mar 08, 2002 11:12 pm

I wonder if UA is going to jump on this bandwagon as well??